


it’s cold under my blanket

by kireinayuta



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Alpha Lee Jeno, Alpha Mark Lee (NCT), Alpha Park Jisung (NCT), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Beta Huang Ren Jun, Bottom Na Jaemin, Childhood Trauma, Crying, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff, Found Family, Getting Together, Heat Suppressants, Insecurity, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mating, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mentioned Hwang Hyunjin, Mentioned Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun, Na Jaemin-centric, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Na Jaemin, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut, Top Lee Jeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:47:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 107,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26663173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kireinayuta/pseuds/kireinayuta
Summary: Jaemin is an omega adopted into a family of alphas, who start giving him heat suppressants and force him into the stereotypical alpha mold.In come Jaemin moving out to start university, where he meets a sweet alpha named Jeno, who makes his inner omega beg to come out.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 95
Kudos: 1291





	1. chapter one

Jaemin doesn’t remember when he started to wake up in an orphanage instead of the bed at home, but once it started, it didn’t seem to stop.

The simple mornings with sunlight filtering through windows stopped occurring, along with the bowl of cereal on a cherry wood table, white dishes and plastic cutlery. Halted were the nights filled with bedtime stories from a delicate and soothing voice, the rainy and loud nights nestled between two larger, warmer bodies. 

What he wanted to believe to be a simple vacation, or maybe something else along those lines, turned into a prolonged eight year stay. Jaemin tries to think back to a time where he lived in an apartment with his mom and dad, but as more years go by, the fainter the memories become, until it’s almost impossible for Jaemin to recall life before the orphanage. No longer are there distinctive facial features on the two faces that occasionally pop into his dreams, and as much as he wants to believe he’d see parts of his face in the other two, features never show themselves. 

Soon enough, he forces himself to let it go. The faces were the ones who left him here, weren’t they? They didn’t want to be known anyway, Jaemin deems, since they wouldn't show themselves. He’d stop chasing after them if they didn’t want to be found. 

The only thing he holds onto is a stuffed bunny, a raggedy old thing with muted blue fur and a white bowtie around its neck. It seems to be the only thing he’s willing to keep with him from outside the orphanage, interested by its appearance and tiny tail. The origin of the tiny bunny, he has no clue, nor how old it is. He doesn’t try to think about it either, content with its simple presence. The bunny didn’t speak on its own, nor did it move on its own, but that meant that it wouldn’t say mean things to him, like some of the other kids he lives with, or leave him, like some of his friends have. 

The friends Jaemin managed to make never lasted long, maybe a few months at most. Before he knew it, the same friends were the ones walking out of the orphanage with a backpack on their shoulders and their hands in someone else’s. 

They all get adopted, while Jaemin is left to say hellos only for them to quickly turn into goodbyes. Why wasn’t he getting adopted? 

Time seems to go by slow, days feeling like weeks, weeks feeling like months and months feeling like years. The time between sunrises and sunsets seem nonexistent, and Jaemin goes to sleep feeling the same way he had waking up. 

It’s a routine that’s extremely mundane, kind enough aunties dropping him off at school and picking him up. The more Jaemin went to school, the more he realized that he’s in the small fraction of kids whose parents don’t pick them up at the end of the day, or drop him off in the mornings. He doesn’t get the cute post-it notes in his lunch, he gets the same variation of food, and while he’s grateful to eat, he wonders what it feels like to expect a surprise and some kind words before eating a meal.

He supposes it feels nice, but he wasn’t in the position to ask for anything more. The older he got, the more appreciative he was towards being placed in the orphanage instead of being left to fend for himself. Although it isn’t ideal, and far from the dreams Jaemin has had, he’s grateful.

Jaemin guesses all his patience and gratitude finally paid off, the day a rather lovely looking couple come to see him at the orphanage. 

They’re brought in by one of the aunties, who sports a blindingly large smile, and introduces them to each other. Jaemin learns they’re both alphas, meaning that they couldn’t have biological kids of their own. Jaemin empathized with them, frowning at the sadness in their voices. 

They both talked about their other adopted children, two boys by the names of Donghyuck and Jisung. Jisung is only eleven years old, two years younger than Jaemin. He learns that Donghyuck is the same age as him, and his interest is piqued. 

The couple let him know that they’d be back tomorrow, which Jaemin doesn’t know the reason for, but he simply nods and watches them go. 

He spends that night laying in bed and wondering what it meant, to have a couple visit him and then promise to come back the next day, until he recalls some of his old friends recounting this same story to him. 

Suddenly, his heart beats to a hopeful rhythm. 

Was he going to get adopted?

The answer comes three weeks later, after consistent visits from the couple every single day, who occasionally bring their other two kids. Jaemin finds himself immediately having a fun time with Donghyuck and Jisung, who are both the nicest boys he’s ever met. 

Jisung has the chubbiest cheeks Jaemin has ever seen, unable to restrain himself from pinching the skin between his fingers. Jisung may be on the more quieter side, but he's adorable and doesn’t seem to dislike Jaemin. 

Donghyuck, on the other hand, seems to be the complete opposite of Jisung, eccentric and always talking loudly. He also has an extremely loud laugh, something which makes Jaemin want to laugh along with him too, even if he doesn’t understand what they’re laughing about. 

The day the couple asks Jaemin if he’d like to be adopted into their family, it’s raining outside. The thunder is a loud and disruptive noise, and the lightning flashes every few minutes. The pitter-patter of the rain is deafening, but he’s still able to hear their question over it all. 

Did he want to be adopted by them?

Did he want to see their lovely smiles everyday? Did he want to wake up to the warmth of their presence? Did he want to be able to hang out with Donghyuck and Jisung all the time?

When it’s those questions he asks himself, the answer seems obvious. 

Of course he does. 

He lets the couple know as much, finding himself smiling at the bright smiles they show him. Donghyuck also catches him in a hug immediately after he answers, and Jaemin doesn’t waste any time before hugging him back. They’re… Brothers now anyway, right?

The first year with his new family feels like a dream. Or maybe it had been real life, and everything after that had been a nightmare. 

He doesn’t know which one is worse. 

Jaemin presents early. 

At fourteen, he presents as an omega, home alone with just his adoptive parents. Donghyuck had taken Jisung to the park a block down, and Jaemin had refused the invite because he wasn’t feeling well. 

‘Not feeling well’ translated to being in heat, the scents around the house becoming overwhelming as he curls up in his blanket, terrified of what was going on. 

Maybe his parents had smelled him, Jaemin has learned that omegas in heat give off an excess amount of pheromones, to the point where it’s borderline unbearable for certain people. They come barging into his room, flinching at his overwhelming sweet scent of Rosé and peaches. It was practically unbearable for Jaemin, so he couldn’t imagine what it was like for other people. 

“Mom,” he calls out, letting the name fall off of his lips as a whine, stomach rolling with waves of heat and nausea. He curls more in on himself, finding comfort in the heavy blanket despite sweating buckets underneath it. “I’m hot and it hurts.”

Jaemin sees his father leave the room for a moment, and he thinks it’s because he needs some fresh air. When he comes back though, he’s holding a bottle of what looks like pills. Jaemin thinks they’re painkillers, and is grateful, because his system seems to be getting worse with every passing second. He knows he’s in heat, but he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

“Take one of these, Jaemin,” his father says, holding a pill out towards him. Jaemin takes it without a question, swallowing it down with a bottle of cold water. The water refreshes his system, the coolness toning down everything burning inside of him. He doesn’t know where to go from here, but he’s grateful for the small pause in the constant and overwhelming heat. 

“I didn’t think we’d have to bring these out, but it seems as though you’re an omega,” his mother says, tilting her head to the side as she looks at him. Her voice sounds rather stoic for some reason, but there’s a million delirious thoughts running through Jaemin’s mind right now, so he could just be imagining it. 

But then his father says,

“A disappointment.”

Flinching at the harsh words, Jaemin peeks out from under his blanket to look at them, wishing he could hide from their cold and emotionless stares. Jaemin doesn’t know why they look like that, they’ve only ever held kindness and love in their eyes, so what he’s looking at right now is foreign. 

The air around them all then morphed into something sour and bitter alongside his own diminishing scent, and Jaemin wonders what it is that the pill he swallowed does. 

“W-What do you mean?” He finds himself stuttering, whimpering under the glares they send him at his question. 

“This family is a family alphas,” his mother says angrily. “You don’t get to ruin it by being an  _ omega _ .”

Jaemin doesn’t understand. 

“I can’t control it,” he weakly answers, cowering under their harsh looks. He doesn’t understand what they want from him. He’s presented as an omega, and they didn’t like that. What were they going to do to him? Would he be kicked out? Would he be sent back to the orphanage? 

“Yes you can,” his father snarls, shaking the bottle of pills in his hand. “With these heat suppressants.”

“What?” Jaemin whispers, terrified by the fact that he had just swallowed a heat suppressant. 

He’s learned about those in school, about how they’re hard to find and about all the horrible side effects. The long term damage it could do to someone’s inner omega if taken regularly, like his parents seem to want him to do. Not to mention the spirals he’s read of closested omegas doing through, the mental and emotional trauma. 

“Starting from today, you’re taking one everyday,” his mother states matter of factly, leaving no room for argument as she dumps all the pills into an empty vitamins bottle. “If your brothers see you, you tell them they’re vitamins. Don’t disappoint us more than you already have,  _ omega _ ,” she spits, seeming disgusted at the mere sight of him. 

But why would she be? He can’t change his biology, and it’s not like he’s the only male omega in the world. 

“But nothing’s wrong with me!” He insists in a moment of bravery, only to lose his confidence when both alphas’ scents flare into something so bitter, Jaemin is sure he could choke on it. 

“Omegas aren’t useful,” his mother states. He’s ready to argue back despite how small he feels, but she continues to speak before he can. “They’re hindrances and they’re worthless.”

Jaemin feels his heart sink at the words, his gut twisting into something so tight and ugly that it hurts more than anything else he’s ever experienced. He wants to bite back and say that omegas weren’t useless, he wants to list off all the accomplishments omegas around the world have contributed to. 

But he holds his tongue back before he can. If his parents, two of the sweetest people he’s ever met, two of the nicest alphas who have it in their hearts to adopt, think that he’s worthless… Then he probably is, right? Why else would they say such things, they  _ love _ him. They took him into their home and gave him a family, why else would they do that if they didn’t love him? 

“Don’t look so scared. If one of your brothers also presents as omegas, they’ll be shaped into alphas, just like you,” his father says. In a sickening way, Jaemin realizes his father is trying to sound comforting. Instead, it makes him shrink further into his mattress, wanting to escape their judgemental eyes. 

Jaemin can only hope that neither Donghyuck nor Jisung present as omegas. 

  
  
  


Unfortunately, it only takes Jaemin six months to get used to swallowing down a suppressant and a scent blocker, along with a pill that gives him the artificial scent of cedarwood a cumin, every morning with his breakfast. He doesn’t even want to know how his parents had gotten their hands on all of this. 

Donghyuck and Jiusng are under the impression that they’re vitamins and calcium pills for his health, and that he needs to take them every morning in order to prevent his immune system and bones from weakening. He doesn’t know the logistics of that excuse, but they both buy it, probably not knowing any better themselves. 

Jaemin wouldn’t say it’s okay, he doesn’t know how to feel about the situation, but it could’ve been worse. He could’ve stopped living under a roof with a family, could’ve stopped eating hot meals three times a day. 

It’s doable. 

Until he gets a boyfriend. 

He doesn’t tell his parents, doesn’t even tell Jisung. The only person he tells is Donghyuck, seeing as he’s the only person who Jaemin thinks won’t tell their parents. He can trust Donghyuck in a way he doesn’t know if he can trust Jisung yet, not knowing if he’ll throw him under the bus in a moment of desperation. 

He meets his boyfriend in history class when he’s sixteen, immediately finding the other boy cute and funny. The other boy approached Jaemin first, sharing mutual interest, and they exchanged numbers. Jaemin remembers squealing to himself under his blankets late at night while texting the other, cheeks red and face muscles aching because of how much he was smiling. 

Donghyuck had to put up with two months of endless rambles about said boy, before he encouraged Jaemin to do something about it. As far as anyone at school knew, including his crush, Jaemin was an alpha. He didn’t know if he had to tell him the truth before they got together, and he was scared about what his parents would say if they found out. To play it safe, Jaemin doesn’t tell them at all. 

He also doesn’t tell his crush, simply setting up a date to meet and then he confesses his feelings, elated to find out they’re reciprocated. 

It’s smooth sailing for a month before Jaemin is strikingly hit by his boyfriend presenting as an omega. 

An omega who smells of oranges and vanilla, an omega who goes into heat. 

Jaemin thinks that in an ideal world, he’d be able to tell his boyfriend that he wants to break up because he doesn’t know how to be close to another omega without feeling his own omega yearn to feel comforted, doesn’t know how to be close to another omega without feeling like his own omega was incompetent, repressed and hidden away from everyone, and not that he isn’t ready for a relationship. 

Donghyuck had stood by his reasoning, though Jaemin doubts he understood it. Especially because he failed to see his perspective, seeing as Donghyuck himself had presented as an alpha two months prior. Jaemin always knew that they didn’t see eye to eye and that he couldn’t relate to a lot of the problems Donghyuck complained about, but he blamed it on the fact that everyone’s experiences are different, and not because he wasn’t even an alpha to begin with. 

Jaemin doesn’t know if he’s grateful or not, that Donghyuck bought his excuse. 

Jaemin lays off romantic feelings for a while after that, choosing to focus more on his studies. His parents forced him into joining the soccer team though, and he did so without a complaint. He did enjoy soccer, though he thinks he would’ve enjoyed it more if he wasn’t being forced into it. He just sees it as a stress relief now, something to help him blow steam off. 

It continues into his senior year of highschool, where he’s granted a scholarship to a university three towns over at the same time Jisung presents as an alpha. Jaemin is glad he doesn’t have to experience what he’s experiencing, and that Jisung wouldn’t be seen as a disappointment to the family, or as worthless. 

Donghyuck and Jisung didn’t deserve to be called worthless. Maybe Jaemin did though, the only omega in an alpha family, destroying his body everyday with three pills which don’t even take up the entirety of his palm. If he wasn’t worthless before, he definitely will be when everyone realizes they don’t want a damaged omega as a mate. 

If he’ll ever even tell someone he’s an omega. 

Following graduation, Donghyuck gets accepted into the university Jaemin had accepted the scholarship from, and the two of them are elated to know they get to go to school together. Jisung would never admit it, but he shed a few tears when Donghyuck and Jaemin moved out of the house, but Jaemin thinks he’ll be okay. Jisung is an alpha, after all. 

Jaemin is surprised he’s able to hide his omega when it’s just him and Donghyuck in their apartment, but he’s grateful, he guesses. His parents send him new supplies of his pills every three months, when he runs out. They’re hidden in the Tupperware of homemade food their mom sends, and Jaemin feels a little sick when he eats the meals, feeling like he’s swallowing a sense of comfort and then washing it down with an equal sense of dread. 

He doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore. 

He could stop taking the pills, his parents aren’t around anymore. They only visit every three months, and other than that it’s the occasional phone call. They can’t smell him anymore either, and Jaemin knows that realistically, seeing as now he’s an adult in his second year of university living away from his parents with his brother, he didn’t need the pills. He’s never needed the pills. 

But he couldn’t just stop taking them out of nowhere. He doesn’t even know who he is without his heat suppressants, without his scent blockers, without his artificial scent. He doesn’t even know when they had become  _ his  _ pills instead of his parents’ pills, but Jaemin guesses he’s let them become a part of him now. 

If he doesn’t even know who he is without them, what will he be to Donghyuck? To Jisung? For all the time he’s known them, he’s been an alpha. For all the time he’s known them, he’s been keeping the way he yearns to build a nest, to be romantic with someone without feeling insecure about his own biology, to be an  _ omega _ , from them. They wouldn’t know what to do with him when the truth is out, so Jaemin decides the truth just shouldn’t come out. 

It can’t. 

He won’t let it. 

Because he’s Na Jaemin, a nineteen year old boy who hides his omega inside where he hopes no one can find him, who doesn’t want to play soccer, who doesn’t know how to be with someone while also being comfortable, who… 

… Is damaged he guesses. 

No one would want him, as an alpha or omega. 

Maybe he should learn how to deal with that. 

  
  
  


It’s another day after soccer practice, when Jaemin enters the locker rooms dripping in sweat, once again overwhelmed with the overbearing smell of pure  _ alpha  _ from all his teammates. Sure, there were betas on the team too, but he’s the only omega along with one other. He wonders how he holds up changing after every practice, but he also guesses that not all omegas have a hard time coming to terms with their biology like he does. 

He also guesses not all omegas are as irked by the scent of alphas as much as he is. 

“Yo, Jaem!” His teammate, Yukhei, calls, coming towards Jaemin already fully changed. It makes Jaemin wonder how long he spent wallowing in how he wished he could be as carefree as the betas on his team, like Huang Renjun. “Some of us were planning on getting dinner on campus. Do you wanna join?”

Jaemin likes Yukhei as a friend and teammate. He’s an alpha, who smells like bamboo and sea salt, and it’s strangely comforting. Jaemin has never been around a scent he felt this safe around, except for Donghyuck and Jisung’s scents. Donghyuck, who smells like freshly mowed grass and rain water, and Jisung, who smells like mint leaves and limes. 

He guesses only the best type of alphas have a comforting scent. 

Back to Yukhei’s question though, Donghyuck wasn’t going to be home until later at night, and he didn’t really have anything else to do. He guesses nothing bad could happen if he let himself have fun, especially after such a tiring afternoon of practicing. 

“Sure,” he answers easily. “Where are we going?” 

“A diner place, it’s across campus so I can give you a ride if you’d like. I’m already driving Renjun and Hyunjin.”

Jaemin takes him up on the offer, only because he’s offering, and guesses it shouldn’t be that bad, when Renjun and Hyunjin are both betas. Jaemin doesn’t want to have this stigma around alphas, but it’s hard for him when he’s forced to be one. He knows he can’t truly ever relate to the struggles or experiences of a real alpha, but that doesn’t mean he likes them. 

It’s not even like he’s ever met an alpha that’s rotten to the core, just a few sour ones here and there. Jaemin believes in treating everyone with kindness until they’ve done something to not deserve it, but it’s a bit of a biased, different story when it comes to alphas. Jaemin couldn’t be a comfortable omega, nor could he be a comfortable alpha, and he isn’t a fan of seeing people living the way he wishes to. It’s a pathetic thing to loathe, but he can’t help it. Any of the alphas in this locker room could be what he needs to be, or what his inner omega wants, but he’s never able to act on that urge. 

Because an alpha shouldn’t want what an omega wants. 

“Sweet! I’m gonna bring my car up to the front, it’s a blue minivan,” Yukhei announces, smiling kindly before he leaves. 

Jaemin sighs, making quick work of changing. He never likes this part of his days. For other alphas, it’s easy to take off their shirts and shorts, proud to boast. Jaemin would be proud to boast too, if he were to boast as an omega. One thing the pills can’t hide is the way his body develops. Jaemin is curvier and somewhat smaller than the average alpha, with a narrow waist that swells at his hips. His shoulders are pretty board though, so with all the baggy clothes he wears, his body doesn’t give out too much. The only thing he can really hold onto are his abs, gaining and maintaining them from when his father had started dragging him to the gym. 

His face though, that’s something that he can’t do much about. His face is rounder than an alpha’s, less defined and more on the cute side. He doesn’t necessarily hate his face, but he did wish it was different so that it was easier to pretend to be an alpha. 

“Ready to go? Hyunjin left with Yukhei,” Renjun asks from behind him, startling Jaemin with his sudden presence. 

“Yeah,” 

They’re not awkward per se, they’ve been on the soccer team together since freshman year, and they have shared a few classes together here and there. The only thing now is that they don’t need to fill the silence between them with anything, finding simple solace in each other’s presence. Jaemin considers Renjun a good friend, and he and Donghyuck are pretty close too, so it makes for good company. 

Jaemin climbs into the back seats with Renjun, Hyunjin sitting shotgun, and from there it’s a five minute drive to the diner Yukhei had been talking about. 

Upon entering, Jaemin spots another five teammates already sitting at two tables that are pushed together, and he grabs a seat next to Renjun before he has to sit next to anyone else. Jaemin isn’t necessarily awkward with any of his teammates, he’s quite respected and looked up upon by their younger members because of his skill. Jaemin acknowledges that he’s quite talented at soccer, but it’s only because of all the practice he’s had to do over the years. His talent isn’t from raw passion like the majority of the team. 

“How’s Donghyuck been? I haven't seen him in like… A week, damn,” Renjun says from beside him, snapping Jaemin out of staring at his menu. “And we even share a class.”

“He’s still just Donghyuck, pretentious brat,” Jaemin hums casually, finally catching sight of what he wants to order. He runs the order through his mind a few times, memorizing it, before closing the menu and putting it down on the table in front of him. “But busy with some assignments, so he’s been holding him up at the library. I think he may be skipping class for it.”

Jaemin would try to talk some sense into Donghyuck and tell him that skipping more class would just backlog him more, but he’s done that before and Donghyuck just decides that he’s deaf to Jaemin’s voice, so he’s stopped trying so hard. 

“Sounds like him,” Renjun admits. Then, he turns to completely face him. “How’ve you been Jaem?”

Jaemin is about to answer, he swears he is, but then their waiter comes to their table to collect their orders. Jaemin is sitting in the last seat, right where the waiter stops, in a casual white button up, black apron around his waist and black jeans hugging his legs. When    
Jaemin looks up at him, he catches a whiff of his scent, tree bark and vodka, before seeing his name tag. 

Before he can say his name in his head, the waiter greets them,

“Hello, my name’s Jeno, and I’ll be your waiter for today. What could I get you guys? 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


As odd as it is, Yukhei knows Jeno. 

He had immediately greeted the waiter with a bright smile and a loud laugh, clapping him on the back. He lets everyone who’s looking at them know that Jeno is a friend from high school, and that he’s on the university swim team. 

Jaemin is thinking about how he’s never seen him around, and then Yukhei says that he’s majoring in pre-med, which is the complete opposite of what Jaemin’s majoring in; architecture. So he guess it makes sense that he’s never seen the black haired boy, who he also learns is an alpha. 

Great.

Jeno takes their orders with a smile on his face, kindly waving goodbye to them all and telling Yukhei that they should hang out soon. Jaemin watches him as he walks away, and finds it odd how his scent lingers despite him walking into the kitchens. It could just be because he was standing next to Jaemin, but then he sees a pen on the floor that wasn’t there when he had initially sat down. 

Jaemin bends over a bit to pick it up, able to smell the tree bark and vodka when the scent wafts from the object. 

“When did you get a pen?” Renjun asks, seeing the object in his hand. Jaemin doesn’t blame Renjun for asking, a beta’s sense of smell isn’t as strong as an alpha’s or an omega’s. 

“The waiter dropped it,” he answers, putting it down next to his plate. He can give it back to him when Jeno comes back. 

“The waiter has a name,” Renjun corrects, raising an eyebrow. Jaemin shrugs, fiddling with his fork. 

“The waiter isn’t my friend.”

Then, he and Renjun are whipped away into a conversation with two of their teammates sitting in front of them. Their conversation ranges from today’s practice to tomorrows, from their upcoming tournaments to mundane things like their classes. 

Despite Jaemin holding an irrational stigma towards half of his soccer team, he doesn’t necessarily think that they’re bad people. If he were being honest, they’re all really nice boys, and from what he’s seen for the past year and a half that he’s been on the team, the ones with bad attitudes and rotten behaviour get kicked from the start. 

Jaemin sees a lot of them as friends, and where some people say there’s no friendship like the friendship you make with your teammates, Jaemin thinks he would’ve appreciated his bond with all of them more if he liked playing soccer. For now, he sees them all as friends past their biology, and in the back of his mind, he thinks it’s a pity he can’t see them as more. 

Before he can wallow in how pathetic he deems his situation, Jeno is coming back with half of the table’s orders. They’re all for the half of the table Jaemin isn’t sitting in, but he still grabs onto the pen so that he’s ready to give it to Jeno when he comes by. 

“I’ve seen him around before,” Renjun comments, drawing Jaemin’s attention away from looking at Jeno walking back into the kitchen. 

“Hm? Who?” 

“Jeno,” he answers, turning to Jaemin with an easy smile. 

“Didn’t you go to highschool with Yukhei? Of course you’ve seen him around,” Jaemin points out. Renjun then nods slowly, looking at Yukhei for a quick moment at the mention of his name. 

“Yeah, but we weren’t close,” he says. “We weren’t even friends. He presented early for his age, in freshman year. Didn’t have a lot of friends then, and people only wanted to talk to him to ask what it was like presenting, or what it was like being an alpha,” he explains, though Jaemin didn’t ask. 

He can’t hide that he’s a tiny bit intrigued, seeing as Renjun said that Jeno had presented early, just like he did. He doesn’t let that show though, just plays with the pen as he listens to Renjun continue. 

“Yukhei didn’t befriend him until he offered Jeno a ride home when he was the last one to leave swim practice. After that, people saw them around together often and Jeno’s popularity skyrocketed, even after Yukhei graduated. It wasn’t difficult, considering that he was a fit and handsome alpha. Ticks all the boxes.”

“So he’s just some alpha jock?” Jaemin scoffs, unable to hide the distaste in his tone. Jeno didn’t look like a deadbeat alpha who only cared about taking their shirt off in public, but Jaemin could always be wrong. 

“No. That’s another reason he was so popular. He’s really nice,” Renjun hums, almost as if he could sense Jaemin’s prejudice. “He never cared about the social hierarchy, tradition or stereotypes.”

That does sound better to Jaemin, to know that there are still some alphas around who didn’t feel superior because of their secondary gender. It was also a bit surprising, just because Jeno seemed to be the textbook definition of an alpha. It wouldn’t have shocked Jaemin if he was as douchy as a textbook alpha too, but he should’ve known Yukhei wouldn’t have been friends with him if he was. 

“That’s cool,” he answers to Renjun's story, more like a background check. He doesn’t really know why Renjun told him all this, but maybe he was just reminiscing. “Hard to find people like that.” It’s more real for Jaemin when he says that, reminded of his parents. He hopes there aren’t too many people like them around. 

Renjun hums, and then Jeno comes back with more plates balanced in his hands and on his arms. Jaemin has always seen waiters and waitresses do that, but he doesn’t understand how. He’s terribly uncoordinated, and couldn’t imagine holding four plates at the same time. 

“Here you guys go,” Jeno says, sliding plates in front of the respective person who ordered them. Jaemin guesses Jeno is good at his job, if he can remember who ordered what without having to recite the name of the dish. Or maybe he just has really good memory and Jaemin’s memory is really bad so he couldn’t even begin to understand. 

“You dropped this,” Jaemin says to him when he’s handed everyone their meals. He holds the pen out in front of him to Jeno, watching as he looks at the pen confusedly, before realization dawns on him. 

“Oh! Thank you,” Jeno smiles, Jaemin notices that his eyes disappear into half moons, and gently takes the ballpoint pen from him. “Jaemin, right?”

Jaemin startles at the mention of his name coming out of Jeno’s mouth. His brain briefly wracks itself for a time where they might’ve met or interacted, but gives up when he recalls he has a terrible memory. Plus, he’s pretty sure he’s ever seen Jeno before today? 

“Uh, yeah,” he answers, just sounding a little awkward to his own ears. “How do you know my name?”

“I’ve seen a few soccer games,” Jeno says casually, and Jaemin remembers that he is in fact on the soccer team. There’s probably a lot of people at school who know his name then, or who at least know of his name. Perhaps it should’ve been the same for Jaemin when he heard that their waiter was Lee Jeno from the swim team, but he doesn’t really pay attention to sports. Then, Jeno looks to Jaemin’s left. “Hey Renjun.”

Renjun looks up from where he was eating, only nodding at Jeno before he turns back to his food. Jeno laughs at the other’s behaviour, and Jaemin takes note of how it’s an airy sound. 

“Enjoy your meals,” Jeno says politely before leaving, pen now tucked into the front pocket of his apron. 

There’s less talking now as everyone’s eating, but the occasional appreciative hums and comments here and there are still present. Jaemin thinks that the food here is good, and is definitely thinking of bringing Jisung here the next time he comes to visit. He comes every two weeks whenever he can, but it’s been more frequent because his best friend had also started attending the same university. 

Jaemin is distracted with planning what to do the next time Jisung comes over, only noticing that his plate is empty when he goes to take another bite and his fork clangs against the glass of his plate instead of food. 

Renjun laughs at him.

“Hungry?” He teases, to which Jaemin rolls his eyes. Renjun’s favourite thing to do seemed to be making fun of everyone he was so much as an acquaintance with, and it’s one of the reasons he gets along with Donghyuck so well. “Practice was kinda tough today,” he adds, sympathizing. Jaemin bets it’s just to make him feel a bit better and not because he actually meant it. 

“Shut up,” he ends up grumbling to his friend. 

It only takes around another ten minutes for everyone else around the table to clear off their plates, and then Yukhei is waving Jeno down. 

“Was everything okay?” He asks politely, the same smile as before eased onto his face. Jaemin hasn’t even been his presence for more than ten minutes, but he wonders if he ever stops smiling. Was there even that much to smile about in life?

The table gives a general positive consensus towards Jeno’s question, and Jeno beams, as if he cooked all their meals himself. 

“Would you like to pay all together or individually?” Jeno asks.

“Individually,” a few of the boys answer, and Jaemin thinks that it makes more sense to split one bill amongst themselves as he watches Jeno walk away to get their receipts. 

“Isn’t paying together smarter?” Renjun mutters to him, and Jaemin hums, glad that Renjun sees the sense behind it too. But it’s not like they were going to say anything. 

Jeno comes back quickly, handing everyone their individual receipts and asks if they’d like the card machine. Jaemin and Renjun simply smack a few bills onto their receipts, making sure to include the tips too. Jaemin tips rather generously compared to other times, seeing as Jeno had to tend to so many people alone. 

Jeno starts collecting and thanking his teammates starting from the side of the table that he isn’t sitting at, so he fiddles with the coins on Renjun’s receipt while he waits for Jeno to come to their side. 

It doesn’t take long, and when Jeno collects Renjun’s payment and says thank you, Jaemin watches as Jeno puts down a piece of folded paper in front of him before collecting his cash and receipt. 

Jaemin, because he’s curious, unfolds the paper, glad that Renjun is talking to another one of their teammates and that no one is paying attention to him. What he sees staring back are nine digits written in black ink. Jaemin bets it’s from the ballpoint he dropped. 

Still, he’s not dense enough to not piece together that Jeno had just given him his number, but it still feels surreal. The last time someone hit on him was in his senior year of highschool, but he hadn’t been interested then, and he doesn’t know if he’s interested now either. He didn’t even think an alpha like Jeno would look his way, a handsome and (supposedly, according to Renjun and Yukhei) nice boy who’s also on the swim team.

He looks up at the waiter with a raised eyebrow, to which Jeno simply smiles the same smile he’s had on all night, and winks at Jaemin before disappearing off into the kitchen. 

  
  
  


Jaemin comes home three hours before Donghyuck is supposed to, but he still finds a bowl sitting on the dining table with a lid covering it and a note attached to it. 

_ This is your dinner, I wasn't sure what you had planned to eat. You can leave this for me if you’re not gonna eat it. Love you, I’ll be back at around 10:00.  _

“Love you too,” Jaemin mumbles, sighing as he puts the note back onto the lid. He isn’t going to eat it, and he feels just a little guilty about it. The guilt goes away though, when he remembers that Donghyuck loves eating. 

When Donghyuck isn’t at home, it’s significantly quieter, and Jaemin doesn’t like it. He likes the boisterous noise Donghyuck carries with him wherever he goes, and even though he’s only been home for five minutes, he already misses his brother. He doesn’t know when he grew so attached to his brothers, both Donghyuck and Jisung being people he would constantly keep around him if he could. 

Maybe it’s because they’re the closest two people to him, people he considers family. 

His only family. 

Jaemin feels a frown tug at his lips, so he brushes these thoughts away before he makes his way to his bedroom. He didn’t want to think like that right now. 

Jaemin’s bedroom isn’t anything exciting, white walls bare save for the space above the head of his double sized bed, where he keeps a calendar and a photo of him, Donghyuck and Jisung. There’s a few white shelves put up near his dresser, holding a few potted plants and a little cactus, along with some textbooks and miscellaneous items. 

The sheets on his bed are also white, along with his blanket, half of the reason for aesthetics, the other half so that Donghyuck doesn’t come in with food. His desk is black though, the only part of his room that stands out. There’s a monitor and a laptop sitting on it, with a gaming chair that Donghyuck bought him, claiming it was more comfortable than desk chairs. He was right. 

Jaemin keeps his room clean at all times compared to Donghyuck’s literal swamp, and sometimes he thinks it’s the omega in him. If bits of his omega can even come out anymore, that is. Either way though, the cleanliness is something he admires himself for, seeing as it makes choosing a pair of clean black sweatpants and a blue t-shirt easy before he makes his way to the bathroom to shower. 

He takes his time today, knowing that Donghyuck wouldn’t be back until late. And because soaking under the warm water was an irreplaceable feeling. He goes slow as he makes sure to scrub away all the sweat caked into the crevices of his body, places he didn’t thoroughly clean in the quick shower he took in the locker rooms. His body wash at home smells better than the one he keeps in his locker anyway. 

An hour has passed by when Jaemin steps out, skin kinda pink and fingertips wrinkly. His hair feels lighter though, shampooed and conditioned to wash away all the sweat and other things that have accumulated from him not washing it for three days. Stepping into his fresh and clean clothes feels like heaven, and he’s comfortable when he steps out of the humid bathroom. 

He doesn’t have much to do, assignments already completed and handed in. He did his readings for the day before soccer practice, so he guesses the only thing he can do is review whatever notes he took in class today. Jaemin isn’t necessarily a studious person, but he does force himself to stay on track, if only to not end up prematurely graying like Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck dyes his hair to hide his stress problem, so Jaemin does as well just so that he wouldn’t feel alone. Donghyuck’s hair is currently all silver, while his own is pink. His parents didn’t necessarily like his choice, but he didn’t tell them beforehand and he’s not going to do anything about it. 

Sure, he’s an adult and can do whatever he wants, but he can’t pay for his tuition, the apartment, soccer, or the other luxuries he has. It sounds bad to the average person, but when Jaemin’s parents can afford to buy him supplies of stupidly expensive pills, he doesn’t feel too bad using them to finish his education. 

After that, he’ll worry about what to do after he graduates. 

For now, he revises until he hears Donghyuck opening the front door, dumping his backpack down and dragging himself to the kitchen. Jaemin knows he’s tired, he always is after coming home from the library, and he can’t help but want to fret over him like some urge inside him is screaming for him to. He doesn’t know how to act on it though, so he stays put in his room and listens to Donghyuck warm up his food in the microwave, the kitchen drawers opening as he takes out what Jaemin assumes is a spoon. 

Donghyuck never took a long time to eat, so Jaemin isn’t surprised when he sees his brother walk into his room ten minutes later, clad in basketball shorts and a grey hoodie. 

“Hi Nana,” he greets, planting down face first onto Jaemin’s bed. 

He’s glad Donghyuck can’t see him smile when he notices the shift in the older boy’s scent. No longer is it a bit sour because of mood, but more like normal after stepping into his room. Jaemin likes to believe he comforts Donghyuck, even if it was his artificial scent. He wonders what Donghyuck would think of his real scent. Perhaps it’d be too sweet for him after getting used to his alpha scent for so long. 

Jaemin stops thinking about it before the pile of dread in his heart overflows. 

“Hey Hyuck,” he says instead, getting up from his desk. He sits down on his bed with his legs crossed, pulling the other’s head into his lap. Donghyuck and Jisung have always known him to be touchy, and he’s even more so with Donghyuck being the only person he’s constantly around and comfortable enough with, so he’s used to all his antics. One day when Donghyuck was drunk, he even admitted that when he feels stressed during the day, knowing he comes home to Jaemin makes him feel better.

Jaemin cried a bit when he found that out, but he’d never tell him. It just feels nice to know he’s doing something right enough for someone who means the world to mean. 

“Did you get some work done?” He asks gently, earning a groan from Donghyuck. 

“Some stuff. I’m almost caught up now,” he answers, shifting around until he was laying on his back, head still in Jaemin’s lap. “Renjun’s giving me notes, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he assures.

“I don’t worry about you,” Jaemin scoffs, but the hands in Donghyuck’s hair say otherwise. 

“Sure,” the other agrees, clearly too tired to bite back. Donghyuck sighs, closing his eyes. “Tell me something interesting that happened to you today. How was soccer practice?”

“Practice was fine,” he says, focusing more on trying to braid a part of Donghyuck’s hair more than trying to answer him. “Some of us went out for dinner, then I came back.”

“Ugh, seriously? Nothing interesting? C’mon, my day was terribly boring, there had to be something more interesting than the books I’ve stared at all day,” Donghyuck insists. 

Jaemin yanks a few strands of his hair particularly harshly, just for being irritating. 

“Lee Jeno gave me his number,”

“What?” Donghyuck shrieks, sitting up so fast that he almost bumps his head into Jaemin’s chin. “ _ Who  _ gave you  _ what _ ?” 

“Lee Jeno,” Jaemin answers, tilting his head to the side confusedly at Donghyuck’s reaction. “His phone number.”

“Oh my God,” Donghyuck gapes, his jaw practically unhinging itself. “Dude, oh my God? What the fuck?” 

“What?” Jaemin asks, not understanding why Donghyuck was reacting the way he was. He couldn’t even gage anything off of the other’s facial expression, it being too comical to understand anything. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Do you know how  _ hot _ Lee Jeno is? Do you know how hot his  _ brother _ is? How did he even give you his number, holy shit.”

Jaemin’s brain hurts with how fast Donghyuck is talking. And who’s Lee Jeno’s brother? 

“First of all, how do  _ you  _ know how hot Lee Jeno is? And secondly, he was the waiter where we went to eat,” Jaemin explains, watching as Donghyuck’s eyes widen. 

“I watch the swim competitions,” he dismisses with a wave of his head. Jaemin raises an eyebrow, as if asking Donghyuck to elaborate. The older sighs. “I watch them for Jeno’s brother. Mark Lee. They’re both hot,” he says. “And oh my  _ God _ ? He took an interest in  _ you _ ?”

“What’s that supposed to mean!” Jaemin gasps offendedly, smacking Donghyuck’s arm. “I’m a total catch!” He may not believe it, but he didn’t need Donghyuck questioning it. 

“Yeah okay, Mr. I Don’t Look Men In The Eyes,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes. “What did you do with his number?”

Now that Donghyuck asks, he realizes that he hasn’t done anything with Jeno’s number, the piece of paper still tucked into the pocket of the pants he wore out. He points to where they are in the hamper.

“Left it in my pocket,” he says, finding it weird how big Donghyuck’s eyes bulge. 

“You have to text him,” Donghyuck says seriously. He looks Jaemin dead in the eyes, grabbing him by the shoulders. “If you don’t do it for yourself, do it for me,” he pleads. “Put in a good word about me for Mark.”

Jaemin shrugs Donghyuck’s hands off of him, annoyed. 

“Goodnight Donghyuck,” he dismisses, pushing the older away and off of his bed. “Have a good night.”

“Dude, come on,” Donghyuck whines, a tone that would’ve been annoying if Jaemin wasn’t so used to his antics. 

“Goodnight.”

“Jaemin-ah,” he persists, trapping the younger boy in his arms. “For me?” Jaemin tries to wiggle out of his grasp, but his gained muscle doesn’t compare to an actual alpha’s strength, rendering him almost immobile. 

“You’re so annoying, why don’t you just talk to Mark yourself?” He asks genuinely, groaning when Donghyuck doesn’t let up. 

“Have you  _ seen _ him? I can’t just  _ talk  _ to him, he’s like… A God,” he sighs admirably, causing Jaemin’s face to scrunch up in disgust. 

Donghyuck has never really had crushes growing up, just infatuations with some people that weren’t based off of real feelings. He doesn’t know how much his ‘crush’ on Mark is based on real feelings, but he didn’t even know he knew of the other, so there could be a lot more he doesn’t know. 

“No.”

“You suck,” Donghyuck grumbles, letting his grip around Jaemin loosen up. “Why are you such a brat?”

“ _ Me _ ?” Jaemin scoffs. “You’re the brattiest brat.”

Jaemin expects Donghyuck to snark back at him, but instead, he just leans up a little, because Jaemin is taller, and kisses his forehead. 

“Goodnight, brat.”

Before Jaemin can say goodnight back, Donghyuck is already leaving his room. 

Jaemin sighs, closing his door and flopping back down onto his bed. 

Donghyuck was  _ so _ annoying, honestly one of the most annoying people he’s ever met in his life. But that didn’t mean he was any less of a mandatory presence in his life. Jaemin doesn’t know where he'd be mentally if it weren’t for his brothers. 

It’s with that thought that he turns the lights off and yells ‘ _ Goodnight Hyuck _ ’ into the hallway, before closing his door, and laying down under the blankets. 

He thinks about how it’ll be a bit easier to swallow his pills the next morning, with the promise of seeing Donghyuck once he wakes up. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He’s right, because not only did seeing Donghyuck already brighten his day, but he had made oatmeal for them with berries and peanut butter, so Jaemin just makes a note to give him an extra lot of love today. 

As Jaemin is eating at the table with his uniform on, Donghyuck frowns a bit. 

“Morning practice?” He asks around his own mouthful, and Jaemin hums. “But you had evening practice last night.”

“It means we have to get better,” Jaemin mumbles around his spoonful. Donghyuck makes good oatmeal for someone who’s useless in the kitchen, leaving them in overnight in the fridge and topping them prettily. “When did you even make these? I thought you passed out after you left my room.”

“Jesus Jaem, you guys are working to the bone,” Donghyuck whistles. Jaemin doesn’t know why he sounds surprised, he’s known this since he’s started seeing Jaemin come back home exhausted. “I woke up in the middle of the night because I was hungry, so I just threw those in the fridge.”

“Hm,” Jaemin nods in understanding, choosing to not say anything about the first thing Donghyuck said. If the schedule he memorized is anything to go by, Donghyuck’s class starts in twenty minutes, and by the looks of him still sitting comfortably at the dining table, Jaemin knows he’s going to be late. “Don’t you have a class soon?”

Donghyuck spares a glance at the clock, and his eyes widen comedically when he sees what time it is. 

“Shit,” he mutters, shoving the rest of what was in his bowl into his mouth. He drops his bowl and spoon into the sink with a sound so loud that it makes Jaemin wince, and he can only hope he didn’t break anything. “Bye Nana, I’ll be home for dinner tonight! Don’t forget your vitamins!” Donghyuck says, and a second later, the front door closes. 

His shoulders slump once Donghyuck is gone, looking down at the pills staring back at him. They’re so extremely small, but their impact makes Jaemin’s insides churn. It doesn’t get easier to swallow them down, but he has gotten used to the bitter taste. Even when he washes them down with water, he’s always afraid he’ll choke on them. They may be small, but it’s the knowledge of what’s awaiting him that makes his throat close up. 

Sometimes, like the times when Donghyuck left early in the morning, he would stall taking his pills, just so that a bit of his real scent would bleed out. Maybe it’s for assurance that his scent isn’t completely gone, or maybe it’s to remind him of who he could be, if the circumstances were different. He’s only done this once though, afraid of his scent lingering. He didn’t want Donghyuck to grow suspicious. 

Jaemin shudders as he swallows them down, defeatedly putting his glass of water down. 

Vitamins. 

Jaemin wished that at least the effects would’ve been like vitamins, at least then it wouldn’t feel like his omega is slipping away from him every single day. 

  
  
  


When he steps into the locker room, he’s the first amongst two other teammates. He thought there’d be more people around, but he understands since it is, in fact, way too early for this. 

Jaemin is pulling his socks up to his knees when he feels a presence next to him. He thinks it’s Renjun at first, ready to complain about the absurd hour of day, but then he catches hints of tree bark and vodka, and knows that it isn’t Renjun next to him. It’s not even anyone from the soccer team.

“You didn’t text me,”

Jaemin looks up from where he’s been looking down at his socks, making eye contact with Jeno, who’s black hair is dripping wet. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asks, taken aback, instead of answering the other. He’s never seen Jeno in the locker rooms a day in his life, nor has he ever plainly  _ seen  _ Jeno a day in his life, so he wonders why he’s popping around everywhere all of a sudden. 

“Ignoring how you didn’t answer me,” Jeno starts, and Jaemin raises an eyebrow at his boldness. “The swim team has been sharing a locker room with the soccer team since forever? Did you not know?” 

Jaemin doesn’t know how to admit that he did in fact, not know that, without sounding like a dunce, so he just shrugs, trying to play it off as cool.

“I don’t really pay attention,” he says nonchalantly, hoping that it doesn’t sound ignorant, or that he doesn’t sound like a dumbass. What kind of idiot doesn’t notice the team they share the locker rooms with? Especially when they’re in there everyday? 

“That’s fine, we don’t overlap often,” Jeno hums, leaning against the row of lockers behind him. Jaemin doesn’t know what the hell Jeno is looking at from behind him, but wills himself not to think of anything unnecessary. 

Jeno wouldn't look at another alpha like that anyway. And as far as everyone knows, Jaemin is an alpha. 

Jeno doesn’t say anything as Jaemin pulls his other sock on and ties the laces on his cleats tight. Jaemin thinks it’s weird, and lets Jeno know as much when he turns around to see him still leaned up against the lockers like everything was normal.

“Um…” Jaemin starts, looking around to see that more of his teammates have started to file in, some of them giving side glances towards the two of them. “Is there something you need?”

Jeno looks so unbothered as he answers, that Jaemin almost wants to kick him. Almost, because it’s not like Jeno has done anything to warrant getting kicked yet. 

“You didn’t answer me yet,” he explains, still leaning against the lockers like the rest of the swim team hasn’t filed out already. “You didn’t text me.”

“Was I supposed to?” Jaemin scoffs, turning to his own locker to close it. He hopes Renjun gets here soon so that he doesn’t have to keep talking to Jeno, who doesn’t look like he’s going to be leaving any time soon. “I didn’t know it was written into my schedule.”

“You know,” the other starts, finally pushing himself off of the lockers. “Even if you aren’t interested, you could’ve texted me so.” 

Jeno is looking at Jaemin with a sense of ease, like he wasn’t nervous trying to flirt with him. Could it even be classified as flirting? He wasn’t sure, it’s been too long since someone had behaved this way with him. Or was he just overly confident? Renjun had said that he was popular in highschool, and that a lot of people liked him. Perhaps that attention boosted his ego and carried onto university. 

“I had other things to do before texting a boy became important,” Jaemin answers, pretending like he can’t smell the way Jeno’s scent thickens, almost as if he were still intrigued with Jaemin even after all he’s said. 

“You can reject me,” Jeno says calmly. He looks Jaemin up and down, Jaemin wills himself to not flush at the blatant way Jeno is checking him out, and glares at the other. “No hard feelings.”

“Shouldn’t you try courting an omega?” It’s not a rejection per se, it’s just what slips from Jaemin’s lips every time someone tries to show an interest in him. Sure, since the whole fiasco with his first boyfriend, being romantic with someone was a challenge for him. But it didn’t mean he didn’t long to feel what anyone his age would. He wanted to feel secure and safe with someone, he wanted to go on cute dates and hold someone’s hand in a non-platonic way. He wanted his omega to feel comfortable with someone who would scent him when they were away, with someone who’d help him with his heats. 

He wanted to be romantic, but it isn’t easy when he wakes up everyday to just lie to everyone around him. He rejects the idea of anyone trying to get close to him in a way that friends wouldn’t, because that means that he’ll have to tell them the truth, that he wasn’t an alpha. And that’s too much to unpack, Jaemin doesn’t know when he’ll feel comfortable enough to spill all his secrets.  _ If  _ he’ll ever feel comfortable enough. 

Jaemin forgets about his thoughts when Jeno raises an eyebrow. 

“I don’t care for that,” Jeno says. “I can and will court whoever I like.” 

“So you don’t care that you’re trying to flirt with an alpha?” Jaemin asks again, squinting his eyes at Jeno’s coolness. He can’t gage anything about him because of his nonchalance towards this whole situation, and it briefly makes him wonder how serious Jeno is about this. In the forefront of his mind though, he reminds himself that he doesn’t know Jeno, so this could very much just be the way he is. 

“Nope,” the other answers, smiling the same way he did yesterday, popping the ‘p’ at the end of his word. “Do you?”

Jaemin thinks about it. 

It’s a weird question to ask. 

Does he, an alpha, care that another alpha is trying to court him? Does he care that he isn’t looking at omegas to be with, like his parents have always wanted? Does he care to be seen around with another alpha romantically?

But then there’s the question of does  _ he  _ care. Does  _ he  _ care that his omega is filled with butterflies at the prospect of being courted by an alpha? Does  _ he  _ care that someone other than an omega or beta is taking an interest at him despite his ‘status’? Does  _ he  _ care that his omega knows that he’ll be spending time with an alpha who isn’t his brothers or friends? 

Does Jaemin care that what he’s always dreamed of, a sense of normalcy with an alpha trying to date him, is coming true? Does Jaemin care that the omega in him is already jumping around with joy at the idea of being with an alpha? Does Jaemin care that he’s putting himself a vulnerable position? 

Jaemin guesses he takes too long to answer, seeing as Jeno looks him up and down one more time before saying, “It’s none of my business if you do, but—”

“I don’t,” Jaemin says before Jeno can finish his sentence. “I don’t care.”

He pretends like his lips don’t twitch to pull into a smile as he watches Jeno smile. 

“Nice,” is all the other says, adjusting his swim bag on his shoulder. “So… Text me?”

Jaemin gulps, slowly nodding his head. 

“Sure.”

  
  
  


He pointedly ignores the way Renjun has been side eyeing him ever since he walked into the locker room to see him and Jeno talking, and does a pretty good job of avoiding him while he gets changed at the end of practice. 

He also ignores the way Renjun is calling his name as he hurriedly runs out of the locker rooms, not keen on answering any of his interrogative questions. 

“I have a class to get to!” He yells over his shoulder as he leaves, feeling stupid and outed when Renjun yells back saying, “Your class doesn’t start for another hour, dumbass!”

Jaemin is just glad he’s escaped far enough from the locker room before Renjun could catch up to him, slightly cursing himself for it too once his calves start to ache. Why did he think it was smart to run away from Renjun after a morning of hell practice?

All the exhaustion from practice bleeds out of Jaemin’s system along with the breakfast he ate in the morning, and now he’s starving as he makes his way to a café on campus. His soccer bag feels heavy on his shoulder, but he’s used to it, although they don’t have practices in the morning that often, only when it was used as reprimation for a shitty practice the day before. 

Jaemin is glad there isn't a long line when he makes it inside the café, relatively short with three people working behind the counter. He puts all these factors together in his brain, and is glad to find out that it means he doesn’t have to wait long before he can leave and start his trek towards the other side of campus, where his first class is. 

He orders a simple americano and a slice of a lemon loaf cake, takes his receipt and thanks the cashier before heading to the waiting queue. 

Jaemin believes that the amount of clumsy people out and about is heightened when it’s earlier in the morning, many people not fully awake or aware enough to keep themselves in check. 

He thinks the same thing when he feels someone bump into him from behind, before he hears the sound of multiple coins hitting the ground and spinning around. He sighs, but figures he should at least help, so he turns around and makes sure that he doesn’t give anything away with his expression as he scoops coins into his hands. There’s an abundance of dimes and nickels, and Jaemin wonders what type of person keeps so much loose change with them. 

“Na Jaemin?”

Once again, Jaemin is startled by the fact that someone he doesn’t know or recognize is calling his name. He looks up towards where the question had come from, and sees the same boy he’s helping pick up his coins look at him confusedly. Jaemin wouldn’t look at someone who was helping him pick up his coins like that, but to each their own he guesses. 

“Yeah?” Jaemin answers, equally as confused as he hands the other all the spare coins into his palm. As Jaemin uses these few seconds to get a closer look at his face, he deems he’s never seen him around, and from the light scent of sage and maple that isn’t drowned in the smell of espresso, Jaemin understands that the boy in front of him is an alpha. “Who’s asking?”

“Oh!” The boy startles, almost as if he remembers that he and Jaemin don’t know each other, and that it is, in fact, weird to start a conversation like this. “I’m Mark. Mark Lee. Sorry, I’m uh… Clumsy,” he introduces sheepishly, motioning towards some of the stray coins still laying around them. Jaemin picks them up before handing them to Mark, and then the both of them stand up together. 

“Okay um, Mark Lee,” Jaemin says, vaguely registering in the back of his mind that this was the boy Donghyuck had been gushing over last night. He figures he could at least gain one good thing out of this encounter. Plus, if he doesn’t do this and Donghyuck somehow finds out about this, he’s going to have Jaemin’s head on a stick. “Can I have your number?” 

Jaemin knew Mark was clumsy, he had just said so, but he didn’t think he was also… Odd? Was that the right word to describe how Mark started choking at his question? 

“Dude, I’m like, flattered or whatever, but I couldn’t do that to Jeno,” Mark explains, and then Jaemin remembers that this is the Mark that is Jeno’s brother. 

Huh. So that’s why Mark knew his name. 

“It’s not for me,” Jaemin clarifies, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He guesses it’d be a bit too rude for their first encounter. “It’s for my brother. Lee Donghyuck?” He hopes the name rings a bell in Mark’s head, or else Jaemin is dead meat for throwing Donghyuck under the bus like this. 

“Donghyuck? The dude who’s always watching swim practices?”

Donghyuck hadn’t said anything about watching the swim team’s practices along with their competitions, but he guesses he wouldn’t be too proud admitting that either. He makes a mental note to make fun of Donghyuck for it later. 

“Sure,” Jaemin shrugs, preening his ears to make sure he doesn’t miss his order being called out. “So can I have it to give it to him?”

“Jeno was right, you are intimidating,” Mark mumbles as he grabs a pen and a piece of paper from his backpack, but Jaemin hears him anyway. 

“What else does Jeno say about me?” He asks, watching the other boy scribble nine digits onto the paper. He wonders if Mark was also interested in Donghyuck, seeing as he doesn’t understand why he’d give his number out without a fight if he wasn’t. 

“He says you’re the prettiest boy he’s ever seen,”

Mark immediately slaps a hand over his mouth when he realizes what he said, looking at Jaemin with wide eyes. 

Jaemin just looks amused. 

“I wasn’t supposed to tell you that,” Mark says alarmingly, looking like Jeno was there to witness his slip up. Jaemin just knows that Donghyuck is going to find how much of a spaz Mark is to be something endearing. 

“I figured,” Jaemin hums. “It’s okay, I won’t tell him,” he assures. “What else does he say?” 

“I feel like you’re using me for information and information only,” Mark sighs beside him, and Jaemin shrugs. He wasn’t going to lie to him. “But I don’t wanna tell you anything if you’re gonna end up playing my brother.”

Jaemin understands that perspective, his brothers are the only people in the whole world who he holds close to his heart. He understands the want and need to protect them from anything that could hurt them. 

“I won’t give Donghyuck your phone number if you’re gonna end up playing him,” Jaemin says back. He sees Mark purse his lips out of the corner of his eye, probably upset that he didn’t get a straightforward answer. 

“I don’t play people,” Mark says. “‘Specially not cute boys like Donghyuck,” he adds in a mumble but Jaemin still hears it. Satisfied with Mark's answer, he answers the other’s original question. 

“I don’t play people either. So tell me, what else does Jeno say about me?”

  
  
  


Jaemin manages to buy Renjun into not interrogating him a few hours later during their shared class together with a cup of this stupid green tea he likes from a specific shop. But he does get silence from Renjun, so he guesses walking ten minutes in the opposite direction of his class was worth it. 

Silence from Donghyuck though, that wasn’t something he’s granted easily. 

He comes home after Donghyuck today, to the sight of the older boy putting a pizza box on the table along with cans of soda. 

“You’re home! I was worried you’d get back when the pizza turned cold,” he says, pulling Jaemin into the kitchen by the wrist. “Wash your hands, and come sit, I’m starving.”

Jaemin complies, eager to sit down. His calves have been killing him since practice this morning, and he wants nothing more than to soak in a bath or something, maybe with salts and a few candles. Donghyuck doesn’t understand how calming baths are, but Donghyuck also showers for a whole of three minutes so he doesn’t expect much from him to begin with. 

“I have something for you,” Donghyuck says when he reaches the table. He lets Jaemin sit down and puts two slices of pizza on both their plates before putting a singular purple lily on the table. “This is from Jeno.”

Jaemin’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, tentatively picking up the flower. He holds the stem between his thumb and pointer finger, bringing it up to his nose. 

_ Pretty _ . 

“How’d you get it?” He asks Donghyuck, who’s already managed to get pizza sauce on his face. 

“I was hanging out with Renjun and Jeno came over to tell Renjun to give it to you. I took it from Renjun because well, duh, I live with you,” he explains, already reaching for his third slice. Jaemin hasn’t even finished his first. “But mind explaining why he’s courting you? Not even twenty four hours ago you hadn’t even texted him.”

Donghyuck looks expectant, so now seems like a good time to dig through his pocket for the scrap piece of paper Mark gave him. 

“If I give you something really,  _ really  _ important, will you stop asking Jeno questions?”

Donghyuck looks at him weird, almost like he didn’t think Jaemin had anything valuable enough to keep him silent about the whole situation. Jaemin also kind of second guesses if it really will make Donghyuck shut up and distract him, but it’s worth a shot. 

“You can try to give me something really important, sure,” he ends up agreeing, only for Jaemin to smirk and reach into his pocket. He slides the paper over to Donghyuck, who looks at it wearily before reaching for it. Jaemin watches as he unfolds it, reading the numbers. “What is this?”

“A phone number,” Jaemin answers, and Donghyuck almost reaches over the table to smack him, but Jaemin giggles and answers him properly before he can. “Mark Lee’s phone number.”

What follows Jaemin’s words is eerie silence, until Donghyuck lets out a shriek so loud, Jaemin wouldn’t be surprised if they got a noise complaint the next day. 

“ _ What _ ?” Donghyuck is standing up now, staring down at the piece of paper like there was more than just nine digits on it. Jaemin stays eating his pizza, amused at his brother’s antics. “What the  _ fuck _ — How did you get this?  _ When  _ did you get this?”

“I bumped into Mark when I was picking up coffee,” he admits. “Told him you were interested. He seems pretty cool, I approve.”

“No fucking way you got to talk to him before I did!” Donghyuck complains, to which the younger simply shrugs. He couldn’t do anything about it now. Suddenly, Donghyuck’s face gets serious, no longer staring at the paper but now staring Jaemin dead in the eyes. “Wasn’t I right? Isn’t he like… God?” 

Donghyuck looks too serious for Jaemin to take him seriously, leading the latter to burst out in laughter. 

“You need to relax. Just eat your dinner and then text him while squealing into your pillow.”

“I do  _ not  _ squeal into my pillow, Na Jaemin.” 

Jaemin doesn’t believe him, but he doesn’t push it. Instead, Donghyuck sits back down and they finish their dinner talking about what kind of ice breakers he can use on Mark, and Jaemin is glad the topic of Jeno doesn’t come up anymore. 

He tells Donghyuck that he’ll clean up, and the older boy is more than happy to escape into his room, phone and paper in his hand. Jaemin simply rolls his eyes as he clears up the table. 

When he’s done, he heads to his room to collect some clean clothes and the little bluetooth speaker he keeps specifically for baths and showers. Donghyuck borrows it sometimes, but Jaemin has started hiding it since the last time Donghyuck borrowed it, he blasted obnoxious heavy death metal through the apartment during his 1:42am shower. 

Before he makes way to exit his bedroom though, he sees his hamper out of the corner of his eyes. Jaemin doesn’t second guess it before he fishes out the pants he was wearing yesterday, taking out the piece of paper Jeno had given him. Maybe it runs in the family to write phone numbers of scrap pieces of paper. 

Jaemin runs his bath, warm water with his bath salts and a little bit of rose and pomegranate oil. 

When the tub is almost full, Jaemin types in Jeno’s phone number, sends his message, cues up his playlist and promptly ignores how his phone buzzes. 

**to:** **_jeno lee_ **

_ thanks _

_ i guess sometimes i am rather pretty  _

_ oh, and for the flower :)  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


This continues for weeks on weeks, Jeno constantly dropping a flower into Jaemin’s locker, handing him a box of chocolates when their practices sync up, walking him to class because Renjun had ratted him out and now Jeno knows his schedule. 

Jeno also takes him out to eat often, little places on campus or fancier places just a little bit outside. 

He seems serious about the whole courting process, so Jaemin takes it seriously too. He didn’t think he’d find himself in the position where he lets an alpha hold his hand while walking to class, but he doesn’t pull it away. Sure, his mind still reels with the prospect of letting someone get romantically close to him, but it’s not as terrifying when it’s Jeno, for some reason. 

Having someone court him, it felt nice. Knowing that someone’s interest could stay on him for as long as it has, it feels nice. Especially someone like Jeno, who Jaemin has learned has a lot of admirers. He gets it, he does, Jeno is unexplainably handsome and a sweetheart in all aspects, but he can’t help but feel a hint of jealousy when others try to flirt with Jeno. 

He was courting Jaemin after all. 

It’s been two months, and because of that, everyone catches onto the fact that alpha Lee Jeno from the swim team has his eyes on alpha Na Jaemin from the soccer team. 

That’s another thing. 

Jaemin doesn’t know how to tell Jeno that he isn’t actually an alpha. 

He didn’t want to ever tell him, he didn’t want to ever tell  _ anyone _ . But with the way that he’s becoming more and more used to Jeno’s gifts and the dates that they go on, it seems like he’s letting Jeno in closer than he ever intended. 

And he guesses it’s scary. It’s different, for sure, letting himself fall into someone’s arms like that and letting someone try to win his heart. He doesn’t even know why he’s so comfortable with it, he didn’t think he could ever be comfortable with it, but here he is. Here he is, thinking that he has a chance with an alpha. 

Jaemin doesn’t like thinking about how his omega may be what’s drawing him into Jeno, and not how sweet the alpha genuinely is. He doesn’t even want to venture into thinking that the way he feels about Jeno is masked by what his omega wants. 

But it’s impossible to completely eliminate those thoughts when Jeno is giving him the attention he’d never gotten before. 

His omega was never looked after, but Jeno always asks if he’s eaten today, or he’d like him to buy him a snack on his way over. 

His omega was never allowed to feel cared for, forced into being an independent alpha, but Jeno makes him feel like he’s the only boy in the world when they’re together. 

His omega was allowed to indulge, but Jeno puts an arm over his shoulder and hugs him really close when they part ways, and Jaemin always fills his lungs with the alpha’s scent. 

Sometimes he thinks it’d be okay if he told Jeno. Sometimes he thinks it’d be okay if he lets his deepest desires come to the surface, to be looked after, cared for and loved. Because he’s tired of having to hold up his own, of having to pretend like he doesn’t melt at the way Jeno holds him like he’s the most delicate person out there. 

But then he remembers that Jeno isn’t courting him as an omega. He remembers that Jeno isn’t looking to take care of an omega. He remembers that Jeno doesn’t know. 

Jeno is courting an alpha. 

And if being an alpha is what it takes to keep Jeno around, he wouldn’t be the first person Jaemin is doing it for. 

“Are you crying?”

Jaemin is ripped out of his thoughts at Jeno’s question, reminded that they’re in the latter’s dorm room watching a movie on his laptop. 

“No,” Jaemin denies, but it’s fruitless, especially with the way he brings a hand up to his face to wipe his tears away. He doesn’t know why or when he started crying, cursing himself in his head for ruining what would’ve been a flawless date. 

Jeno had invited him over so they could watch movies, not so that he could start crying.

“Yes you are,” Jeno frowns, and Jaemin feels his gut twist. 

Oh, he doesn’t want to ever see Jeno frown. 

“It’s a sad movie,” Jaemin protests, hoping that Jeno doesn’t question it again after that. But that’s stupid, because then Jeno says,

“ _ The Little Mermaid _ is sad?”

Jaemi siffles, turning away from where his head was on Jeno’s chest, just so that he wouldn’t feel even more embarrassed. If Jeno thinks he cries over The Little Mermaid, he’s going to think Jaemin is the most emotional alpha out there, something he didn’t want people to know. That’s not a typical alpha character trait. 

Remembering he has to answer Jeno’s question though, Jaemin is reminded of the time Jisung had started crying to  _ The Little Mermaid _ , granted, Jisung was twelve, but Jaemin still fishes out his excuse from his memory to use now. 

“King Triton just loves her so much, you know?” He asks weakly, sniffling. “Letting her out of the ocean and shit.”

This seems to make Jeno laugh, and Jaemin is at least glad that the heavy atmosphere isn’t there anymore. The arm that the other boy has around his shoulders pulls him back in closer, laughing right into his ear as he hugs him to his chest. 

“You’re so cute, did you know that?” 

Jaemin’s heart does somersaults at Jeno’s words, and he can feel his cheeks flush red. He briefly registers that he’s an alpha, and that he shouldn’t be rendered so weak by a few simple words, but when he’s with Jeno, it’s easy to throw these thoughts away. 

Because being with Jeno was easy. 

“Shut up,” he mutters, throwing his arms around Jeno’s waist and settling back comfortably on the other’s chest. “Just watch the movie.”

“What? You wanna see if I’ll cry too?”

“Jeno,” Jaemin groans, looking up at him with a glare. “Do you ever get tired of being an asshole?”

“Not really, no,” he shrugs, a smile ever so present on his face. “Plus, you’re cute when you’re mad.”

If Jaemin thought that Jeno was bold when they first met, he’s only learnt that that’s exactly who Jeno is. He isn’t scared to speak his mind, or to let someone know how he’s really feeling, no filters or anything. Jaemin wishes that he could be like that sometimes, wishes he didn’t have to filter the way he was around Jeno. 

But it’s just that at the end of the day; wishful thinking. 

Jaemin doesn’t say anything more to Jeno, just lays his head back down comfortably and watches as the next movie Jeno selected starts to play. 

Jeno dorms alone, which surprised Jaemin. He thought he’d be living to Mark, but Jeno had said that they would end up killing each other before obtaining their degrees. Jaemin thinks it’s fair, sometimes he wants to strangle Donghyuck. 

As thoughts of Donghyuck come to his mind, Jaemin realizes that he hasn’t told Jeno about how they’re adopted. 

He guesses that’s one of the first, and easier secrets to start with, something not too extreme. Plus, at some point, if he wants to continue with things the way they have been going, Jaemin needs to tell Jeno all these little things about him. 

So far, all Jeno really knows about Jaemin’s personal life is that his parents live three cities away, he has three brothers, and that he’s the middle child. It’s not like Jaemin is intentionally keeping these things from Jeno, it’s just that he doesn’t know how to say these things. Plus, one of Jeno’s questions may lead to other things, which makes Jaemin’s stomach churn with anxiety. 

That was a whole can of worms he wasn’t ready to open. 

But for now, he’ll start slowly. Because Jeno deserves to at least know that. 

For comfort (he doesn’t know when Jeno’s skin became his comfort), Jaemin reaches to hold Jeno’s hand. The latter doesn’t question it, and Jaemin feels pride in knowing he gets to hold Jeno’s hand whenever he wants. 

“Can I tell you something?” He whispers, purposefully low, but just loud to be heard over the volume of Jeno’s laptop. 

“Sure,” he answers happily, lowering the volume of the movie instantly, and Jaemin thinks it’s because he remembers that one time he told Jeno that one of his pet peeves was when people didn’t listen to him when he was talking. 

Just to prove his point, Jeno rubs his thumbs over Jaemin’s knuckles, and the younger swoons. 

“I’m adopted,” he starts quietly, not really knowing how to talk about this. He probably should’ve thought about that, especially since he doesn’t think he’s ever had this conversation with someone. “So is Donghyuck, and so is our other brother, Jisung. Our parents are both alphas, so they can’t have their own kids,” he explains, feeling Jeno squeeze his hand in silent encouragement. 

“You and your brothers have a really beautiful relationship,” Jeno comments, and it’s then that Jaemin remembers that Jeno had met Jisung a few weeks ago when the younger had come to visit. Jeno had insisted about meeting him, claiming that he wanted to show Jaemin and the important people in Jaemin’s life how serious he was. Then, Jeno whistles. “A family of alphas huh? That’s impressive.”

Jaemin feels his heart clench at the mention of that, and he wants nothing more than to tell Jeno that they’re not a family of alphas. But now isn't the right time. He isn’t ready. 

But it sounds weird when Jeno talks about it. Does that mean Jaemin will be less impressive when he finds out that his family  _ isn’t _ all alphas? That he himself isn’t even an alpha?

He’s always known that he’d end up disappointing people when they found out that he wasn’t an alpha, but the prospect of disappointing Jeno seems more heartbreaking than anything else. 

He doesn’t know he’s crying until he sniffles and feels Jeno wipe his tears. 

“There’s nothing wrong with being adopted, you know,” Jeno says softly, pulling Jaemin’s face up just a little so that they were making eye contact. “It doesn’t make you any less of a family.”

Jaemin knows that Jeno’s words are true, because he’s never had a problem with being adopted. Sure, maybe there was a lingering uncertainty about why his birth parents gave up on him, but he was too young to even remember much about that time in his life. 

“I’m scared, Jeno,” Jaemin admits, letting the other hold him close, because he doesn’t know the next time he’s going to feel this much comfort. Jeno’s touch is something he can’t explain, something that makes him feel so safe that it’s insane. For some reason, while he had the hardest time trying to open up to others and make new friends, opening up to Jeno doesn’t seem difficult at all. “I’m scared I won’t be good enough.”

His confession stems more from when someone will eventually find out he’s an omega, but there’s no way Jeno knows that. Still, Jaemin feels comfortable enough to tell him about what he’s really thinking. Even if Jeno doesn’t know the whole truth and context behind his words, Jaemin thinks anything from the older boy will make him feel a bit better. 

He never liked depending on people like that, but something about Jeno just… Compels him. 

_ Him and his omega.  _

“You don’t have to please anyone but yourself,” Jeno assures, moving his hands from Jaemin’s face to pull him into a hug. “You’re the center of your own world, Jaemin. Your happiness comes first.”

Jaemin finds a semblance of the home he only ever found with Donghyuck and Jisung when he breathes in Jeno’s scent, something that he’s only ever found with two other people before. 

It’s something he never thought he’d find, something he never knew existed outside of his family. It’s something he never knew he could be experiencing, always running away from feelings and the closeness that comes with romance. 

But as it always seems to be with Jeno, it’s different with him. So different, that Jaemin doesn’t feel as ashamed as he would if he was in front of Donghyuck or Jisung, when he cries in Jeno’s arms. 

“I don’t want to be alone,” he whispers brokenly into the crook of Jeno’s neck, right where his scent glands are, right where he feels safest. 

It’s his biggest fear, to be alone. Whether it be alone without a family, alone without his brothers, alone for the rest of his life without a mate— he’s terrified of it. 

“You won’t ever be alone,” Jeno whispers back comfortingly. His hands are stroking up and down on his back, drawing him in closer every few seconds. “Because you’re beautiful inside and out, Jaemin. You leave a mark on everyone you meet.

“And… If you’re okay with it, I don’t have any intentions of going anywhere, y’know…”

Jaemin laughs a little into Jeno’s neck, albeit wetly, but it’s enough to make Jeno let a nervous laugh of his own. 

“I’d like that, Jeno,” he admits, bringing his head out of the other’s shoulder. 

He knows his face is flushed pink, tear tracks probably ugly and eyes a little red. His eyelashes are most probably clumped together by his tears, and he doesn’t even want to get started on his nose. However, despite all of that, Jeno still brings one hand to cup his face, his thumb under his eye. 

“You’re so pretty,” Jeno breathes out, looking at Jaemin like he was in awe of the other boy. There’s a soft smile tugging at the corner of the other’s lips, and Jaemin has never loved the look of something more than he loves the look of a smile on Jeno’s lips. “Can I kiss you?”

Jaemin blinks three times before Jeno’s question has fully processed, and as if on cue, his cheeks flush darker than what they already are. 

“If you want to,” Jaemin mumbles after a few seconds, nodding his head. He casts his gaze down, feeling warmth flood his insides. Jeno is so polite, always so careful even when he doesn’t have to be. It makes him, along with the omega inside of him, preen under the attention. 

Jeno doesn’t seem to waste anymore time after Jaemin’s green light, pulling the younger’s face down slowly and leaning his own up slightly. Jaemin closes his eyes, and they meet in the middle as their lips press against each other. 

There’s no fireworks, nor is there any explosion in his chest. Colour doesn’t erupt behind his eyelids, and his breath doesn’t catch in his throat. 

But it feels like home. 

It feels like coming home after a long day, it feels like drinking coffee in the morning together, it feels like eating dinner at the same table. 

Kissing Jeno feels like home. 

And that’s enough to let Jaemin know that he doesn’t ever want to let Jeno go. 

  
  
  


The euphoria he felt when kissing Jeno doesn’t come to a stop, if anything, it’s constantly around now. 

Because every day spent with Jeno feels more intimate now, even if they were only drinking milkshakes together. After that night, it’s clear that the two of them became closer, and while Jaemin is still hiding a rather big secret from him, it still feels right. 

Every second spent with Jeno feels right. 

It feels like walking on clouds, like not even the most powerful of rainstorms can dampen his mood. 

It feels like touching the sunshine with his fingertips, like nothing could dim the happiness he feels when he’s around the other boy.

It feels like… Everything falling into place. It feels like a dream almost, but when Jaemin threads his fingers with Jeno’s, he knows the other is very much real, and he’s choosing him amongst all the other people he could have. 

“I haven’t seen you smile this much since… No, that’s it. I haven’t seen you smile this much ever,” Renjun sighs from his right side. Renjun lifts his shirt up to use the hem to wipe sweat off of his forehead, and Jaemin uses the fact that he’s distracted to kick the ball towards him. 

Rightfully, Renjun doesn’t see the ball rolling towards him until it passes him, so he rolls his eyes at Jaemin before running after it. When he comes back, they resume their warm up, but not really since they’re just passing the ball between themselves. 

“I’m just thinking about the date Jeno has planned for tonight,” Jaemin answers truthfully, and his smile widens at the mere thought of the date. He thinks he hears Renjun gag, but he pays it no mind. “We’re going café hopping.”

“Jesus Jaem, you’re gonna be bouncing off of the walls with how much coffee that’ll be,” Renjun says with wide eyes. “Your boyfriend is trying to kill you.”

“I’ve had more caffeine in my morning coffee than what we’ll end up having today,” he shrugs off, his eyes following the ball. Then he registers the second thing Renjun said, and he furrows his eyebrows. “Also, Jeno’s not my boyfriend.” 

Renjun raises an eyebrow at him, and Jaemin breaks out into a smile immediately. 

“ … Yet.”

Renjun rolls his eyes fondly, passing him the ball. They’re not even standing that far apart, so Jaemin feels like they’re just wasting time under the excuse of warming up, but their coach hasn’t said anything yet so they continue. 

“I’m happy for you, Jaemin,” he says out of nowhere, startling Jaemin. “It’s nice seeing you be with someone.”

“Is this your way of saying you’re sick of hanging out with me?” He asks jokingly, to which Renjun plays along. 

“Mhm yeah, took you long enough to figure out,” he teases, but the soft smile stays on his face, so he knows that he’s being sincere. “But all jokes aside, you look happier. You and Jeno seem good for each other.”

Jaemin feels a sense of warmth bubble in his chest at Renjun’s words. Other people see it too then, huh?

“Thanks,” he smiles, happily passing the ball to Renjun. “Jeno makes me really happy.”

  
  
  


Happiness lasts for all about two minutes before Donghyuck bursts his bubble with a condom in his hand. 

“Look at this,” he tells Jaemin seriously, shoving the condom right in his face first thing when he comes home. “Jaemin, look at it— seriously.”

“Hyuck, you’re so fucking weird,” Jaemin groans, pushing the condom out of his face as he tries to take his shoes off without Donghyuck harassing him. “Dude! Get the condom out of my face!”

“Nana, you’re not understanding,” this time it’s Donghyuck who groans, holding Jaemin by the wrists. He drags Jaemin to the couches, where he makes them both sit down. Donghyuck looks Jaemin dead in the eyes, and he’s just a bit weirded out by how stern Donghyuck looks. “I found this in Mark’s room.”

Jaemin’s eyes widen, looking between Donghyuck’s face and the condom. 

“You stole a condom from Mark’s room? What’s wrong with you—”

“You’re missing the point,” Donghyuck insists, cutting him off. Jaemin doesn’t even think there’s a point to begin with, because realistically,  _ what the fuck could it be,  _ but he lets Donghyuck continue. “Read the wrapper.”

Jaemin does so, albeit reluctantly, and finds his eyes widening again.

“Does that say—”

“ _ ‘Extra Large’ _ ? Yes, yes it does.”

“Donghyuck! You already had sex with Mark?” 

“No! I just saw this lying around, and well, now I know how big his dick is. It’s his fault for keeping them in plain sight, honestly.” Jaemin doesn’t understand how Donghyuck is justifying himself, but he lets it slide as he sighs. “Have you and Jeno—”

“No!” Jaemin exclaims before Donghyuck can even finish his question. He blushes red at the thought, and can feel his omega preen a little at the innuendo. “We’re not even dating, he’s just courting me.”

“Well can you guys hurry up?” Donghyuck sighs, as if the pace of their relationship was affecting him. Which Jaemin doesn’t understand, but if today has taught him anything, it’s that he doesn’t understand a lot about Donghyuck. 

“I will not set my pace based on what you think, Mr. I Stole A Condom Off Of Mark Lee’s Floor,” Jaemin sasses, getting up from the couch. “I’m gonna shower and then do some work. Have a fun night, try not to jerk off to Mark.”

“You’re terrible, did you know that?” Donghyuck yells after him, to which Jaemin makes a finger heart over his head. 

“Love you!”

Jaemin thinks Donghyuck didn’t intend for him to hear it, but he still manages to make out him saying, “Love you too, idiot.”

As Jaemin walks into his room while responding to a text from Jeno, he thinks that for once, he’s happy. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin likes to take pride in his memory. He thinks it’s something that’s both a blessing and a curse, remembering things he doesn’t necessarily want to, but it also comes in handy during school and when it comes to important dates, tests and exams. 

This morning isn’t a good example of those times. 

After Jaemin’s shower last night, he had been pleasantly surprised to see an incoming call from Jisung as he was walking into his bedroom. 

Jisung calls one to three times a week, but Jaemin still feels happiness bubble in his chest when he sees the call. Talking to Jisung is always like a distraction, and it takes him back to a time where he wasn’t stressed with school work and things like that.

He also loves hearing anecdotes about Jisung’s life, whatever was going on in school, with his friends, or anything else. The phone calls remind him of how much he misses Jisung, but he knows that the phone calls will hold him off until he gets to see the younger again. 

Either way, it was with a lovely conversation with Jisung, Donghyuck dropping by his room to give a snack creation he had made, and a goodnight text from Jeno that Jaemin drifted off into a peaceful, and dreamless sleep. 

He doesn’t remember the last time it was this easy to fall asleep, but he guesses all the positive things circling him are helping. Jaemin doesn’t know what he did to deserve all this, but he also doesn’t dare complain. 

It’s not everyday, good things come to you. He’s learned to cherish the little things which put a smile on his face, mostly in fear of not knowing when a similar feeling would appear. 

But it’s okay. Because for the first time in a long time, he’s content.

More than that actually, he’s  _ happy _ .

Very happy. 

His happiness seems to bleed into the next morning, waking up with a smile on his face as the sunshine filters in through the windows. He wakes up fifteen minutes before his alarm, simply laying down in bed without moving as he listens to the quiet hum through the apartment. 

Jaemin knows Donghyuck isn’t awake yet, his class starts at noon today, so he was dead to the world until 11:00am, at least. 

Surprisingly, it’s easier to drag himself to sit up this morning, slipping his feet into his slippers happily. He also feels uncharacteristically refreshed, and he briefly wonders if this is how other people live on a daily basis. 

Huh. They seemed lucky. 

But he doesn’t let that thought put a damper on whatever serotonin is coursing through his own veins, happy to walk himself to the bathroom for a quick shower and to get ready. 

He takes care to not make too much noise, not keen on dealing with a grumpy Donghyuck. 

After he dresses himself, Jaemin silently makes his way to the kitchen with light footsteps, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket. It’s red and large, and Jaemin washes it under warm water for fifteen seconds before taking a big bite from the fruit. 

Once again, because the simple things in everyday life are the easiest things to appreciate, Jaemin hums as he chews, and swallows, content. It may be a small breakfast, but as he puts on his backpack and toes on his shoes, his thoughts are filled with positivity. 

Perhaps that’s why he forgot about a very important, very vital, very negative part of his morning routine. 

Perhaps that’s why he didn’t bother checking the date on the fridge calendar like he normally does. 

Perhaps it’s also why he dismisses the calendar notification on his phone screen without so much as a second glance. 

So no, this morning is not a good example of his stellar memory. 

  
  
  


Jaemin feels excitement bubble in his chest when he sees a text from Jeno asking him to meet by the student center, located halfway between both their accommodations. Jeno doesn’t have a class for another two hours, and while Jaemin only has forty minutes before his next one, he’s happy to spend those forty minutes with Jeno. 

Things with Jeno… They’ve been going better than Jaemin had ever expected them to. 

Sure, since day one he didn’t truly expect them to progress as much as they had, but now it’s almost been three months of him looking forward to Jeno’s presence everyday. 

Getting to see the older boy everyday gives Jaemin enough motivation to pull through, and the cute goodmorning and goodnight texts let Jaemin wake up and go to sleep satisfied. He never expected Jeno to have such a large impact in his life, but he doesn’t hate it at all. 

He knows all happiness, and even this one, will be temporary though. He can’t expect to be this way with Jeno forever.

If Jeno doesn’t leave him because he’s an omega, then he definitely will when he realizes that Jaemin has been lying to him all this time, and even if then not, it’ll be because of how damaged his omega is. 

Jaemin understands though, why would Jeno want to stick around after all of that?

As far as Jeno knows, Jaemin is just curvier than other alphas, smaller, and a bit… Softer? Was that the right word? He did have muscles, and he was built to give off the impression that he was a real alpha, but with all the hugs, cuddles and touches Jeno gives him, he knows that Jeno thinks his body isn’t the typical alpha’s body. He never says anything, but Jeno is open minded like that, and Jaemin knows it’s because it doesn't matter to him. 

And it shouldn’t. It shouldn’t matter to anyone except maybe Jaemin himself. At first he’d been confused towards why his parents expected him to get together and mate with an omega, but with a further explanation of how Jaemin had more to make up for since he wasn’t a real  _ man,  _ a real  _ alpha,  _ he guesses he’s the exception of many rules. 

His own aren’t very different.

So just like many other luxuries in life, Jaemin will enjoy his time with Jeno before it inevitably comes to an end. 

He’s forced out of his thoughts when someone comes running into him, scooping him into their arms and spinning him around. 

“Jaeminnie!” Jeno’s way too energetic morning voice greets, spinning him in a circle once more before gently setting him down onto his feet. “Good morning!”

“It’s too early for you,” Jaemin groans teasingly, nonetheless smiling at the other and reaching up just a bit to peck his cheek. “Morning.”

Jeno smiles again, Jaemin briefly wonders if he ever stops, and then laces their fingers together, leading them into the direction he came from. Since Jeno lives on campus, more of the cafés and food places are near him, and it makes for horrible convenience, which Jaemin admits he’s jealous of. 

“Have you eaten breakfast?” Jeno asks, and there he is again, weakening Jaemin’s fragile heart and making his omega swoon with a simple question. 

“I ate an apple,” he answers, swinging their joined hands between them. He vaguely acknowledges the eyes of other students on them, looking from their hands to their smiles. But today, Jaemin finds he doesn’t mind the attention more than other days. 

Sure, when he woke up in the morning he was already in a stellar mood, but now he feels like he’s dancing on a rainbow right now, and he has no clue towards what made him so happy. He could almost mistake the unusual boost in his mood to be the effects of a drug, but he knows that isn’t the case. 

But he doesn’t dwell too much on it, seeing no reason to. Instead he should be appreciative of this random high, something out of the blue. 

“Well that won’t do,” Jeno tsks, leading them to turn a corner. Jaemin recognizes this area as one of the hot spots where there’s a multitude of food places, and suddenly, the apple in his stomach feels awfully lonely. 

“I suppose it won’t,” he hums back playfully, earning a brilliantly adorable smile from Jeno. Sometimes Jaemin wonders how Jeno manages to be so cute all of the time, but then he remembers that it must simply be the way he is. 

Jeno has a lot of little mannerisms which Jaemin finds endearing, a few of the prominent ones being how he says hello to random honking cars out of habit, how he makes devastatingly cute noises whenever he’s confused, and how he stops to pet every single stray cat he sees, looking like he’s having an inner turmoil about whether to take them in or not. 

Jaemin knows that if it weren’t for his student status or upsetting cat allergy, Jeno would’ve had a lot of cats living under his roof. 

“I know a waffle place,” Jeno says happily. “Right there, do you see it?” Jeno points to the last café in a string of little shops. It’s still rather early in the morning, so there aren’t many people out right now. Jaemin knows that neither he nor Jeno particularly want to be awake at 7:30am, but the other’s presence makes it all a bit better. “Also, do you smell that?”

At Jeno’s question, Jaemin tries sniffing the air for anything unusual, but only comes up with Jeno’s scent which he’s already so accustomed to. 

“No?” He says confusedly, furrowing his eyebrows. They’re out in the open and there’s not too many people around, so Jaemin doesn’t know what he could be talking about. Nothing smells out of the ordinary for the morning in the middle of campus next to Jeno, at least to him. 

And then, Jeno takes a step closer to him, and puts his nose right up against his scent glands, and he’s nervous. 

The pills he takes for his artificial scent of cumin and cedarwood are obviously not as strong as a natural alpha’s scent, and although it does come from his scent glands, it won’t be as strong, even there. Jeno has shoved his face in Jaemin’s neck before, but it was never to explicitly scent him. And while his scent is weaker even then, Jaemin blames it on it simply always being like that. 

He knows that isn’t the case, and he doesn’t know if Jeno really does believe him or if he’s just being sweet and ignoring the bluff. 

Jaemin doesn’t know how either of those options sit with him.

“It’s you,” 

“ _ No _ ,” Jaemin immediately says, mainly out of habit, out of not knowing how to handle that comment. He never thought he’d be having this conversation, nonetheless this soon and nonetheless with Jeno. 

“Yeah,” the other says nonchalantly, and Jaemin doesn’t know if he’s feigning it or if he’s genuinely this calm about it. “You smell like peaches. Is it a new perfume?”

And then, Jaemin’s blood runs cold. 

His heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach, and his hands start sweating. His breathing picks up, and although he could lie to Jeno and say that it is a new perfume and that it is something other than his real scent that has managed to bleed through, his tongue feels glued to the roof of his mouth, unable to speak. 

It’s with Jeno’s question that he comes to realize that he didn’t take his pills this morning, that he didn’t take  _ a single one _ . Not his heat suppressants, not his scent blockers, not his artificial scent supplements. Nor did he check his calendar, nor did he read the calendar notification on his phone before swiping it away. 

Which means it’s been more than twenty four hours since he’s last had either of the three in his system.

Which means his heat is scheduled to be within the next few days. 

Which means he’s out in public right now, alone with Jeno, smelling like an omega. 

_ No wonder he felt like a burden had been lifted off of his shoulders this morning.  _

And because he doesn’t know what to do, he rips his hand out of Jeno’s hold, suddenly overwhelmed by his close presence and scent. 

“Jaemin?”

He wants to tell Jeno that everything is okay, but it isn’t. 

He wants to tell Jeno that he’s fine, but he isn’t. 

He wants to turn away from Jeno’s overbearing  _ alpha _ , but he doesn’t. Because as much as he isn’t used to Jeno’s presence without the safety of the walls his pills put up, it’s also strangely comforting. 

“Hey,” Jeno says softly, trying to catch Jaemin’s panicked and scattered gaze. “What’s wrong?”

Jaemin can hear him, but he can’t really  _ hear  _ him, too drowned in what Jeno was thinking.

_ Does he know he’s an omega? _

_ Does he know what the scent of peaches means? _

_ Does he not want to see me anymore? _

And then Jeno takes a step closer, and Jaemin breathes in a lungful of his scent. Of his vodka and his tree bark, of the woodsy and oddly intimate scent he’s been breathing in for weeks on end. 

It’s nothing new, it’s not a new scent. He’s so extremely used to it, sometimes smelling of it himself when he puts on Jeno’s t-shirts and hoodies. He’s not a stranger to the smell of Jeno, but when he breathes in his scent this time, something inside Jaemin switches. 

No more does his system just acknowledge Jeno’s scent and find comfort in it, but now his insides churn, and heat starts coursing through his entire body. 

That’s never happened before, and it isn’t something that feels good. He feels his stomach rolling, even though all he ate was an apple in the morning. He feels his skin start prickling with heat, even though he’s wearing comfortable clothes and it isn’t too hot outside right now. His heart starts beating faster, and it’s not with the usual fuzzy feeling he gets around Jeno. Instead, this time it’s with an unnamable need, something so, completely, foreign to Jaemin. 

“Jaemin,” Jeno calls again, grabbing onto his hand. 

This time, instead of the usual butterfly inducing warmth spreading through his body, Jeno’s touch sends sparks of pure  _ heat _ through his body, enough for it to burn and make Jaemin rip his hand away again. 

He sees the hurt and confused look on Jeno’s face, and as much as he wants to tell Jeno that it’s not his fault, his shaky hands reach for his phone without saying anything. 

His mind zeroes in on the one person he thinks he can trust right now, when he doesn’t know what’s happening to his body. 

He blindly dials Donghyuck’s phone number like muscle memory, ignoring the way Jeno is looking at him worriedly. 

Obviously, because it’s too early for Donghyuck, he doesn’t answer on the first call. Jaemin taps the call back button through laboured breaths, finding a little bit of relief wash over him when the line connects. 

“ _ Jaemin-ah, what do you want _ ?” Donghyuck groans, clearly irritated. His voice is thick with sleep and croaky, and Jaemin finds it in himself to feel a tiny bit bad for waking him up. But that feeling goes away when another wave of heat courses through his body, and when the scent of Jeno standing a mere few feet away from him gets too overwhelming. 

“Hyuck,” he says shakily, hoping to convey that this was serious, and that he needs the other to be attentive. He hopes it works when he hears the bed sheets rustle on the other side. “I don’t know what’s happening, please, I need you.”

In the back of his mind, where things are a bit less chaotic, he knows he isn’t making any sense. But when all he can think about is how much pain and heat he’s in, coherency is thrown out the window. 

“Jaemin,” Donghyuck says, seriously this time. Jaemin is glad for that at least. “Where are you? Are you alone?”

“With Jeno,” he answers. “I don’t… I don’t know where—”

“By the center fountain,” Jeno supplies firmly from where he still is in front of Jaemin. When the latter looks over at him, he looks concerned but at least a bit more put together than before. Jaemin can still see worry swimming in his eyes, and his heart feels awful for shutting the other out when all he clearly wanted to do was help. But then the omega inside him begs to be next to Jeno, in Jeno’s arms, to hear Jeno’s heartbeat, to smell Jeno’s scent, and he’s reminded of why he can’t give Jeno any of the answers he’s looking for. 

He himself doesn't know what’s happening, but Jeno had smelled peaches on him and Jaemin didn’t take his three pills this morning, so he knows nothing good is happening. Plus, where was all this pain and heat coming from? Jaemin knows when his heat is scheduled if he were to go through them, and it wasn’t now. 

“B-By the center fountain,” Jaemin says through his bated breath, keeping eye contact with Jeno the whole time. 

He doesn’t know what he’s looking for in the other’s eyes, if he’s even looking for anything at all, but it’s comforting. Looking into Jeno’s eyes where he doesn’t see any judgement, anything other than confusion, he feels a little at ease. 

“I’ll be there. Stay put Jaemin, and stay with Jeno. Don’t move.”

And then Donghyuck hangs up before Jaemin can thank him, leaving him in silence with Jeno. 

“You’re hiding something—”

“I’m not,” Jaemin denies, wincing at how quick his answer came. 

“You are,” Jeno insists, but he doesn’t sound mad. Instead, he just motions for Jaemin to sit down on the bench near them, knowing better than to try to guide him there himself, seeing how Jaemin had retracted from his touch two times before. “Because you smell like peaches, Jaemin.”

“Stop it, I  _ don’t _ ,” he says, more fire in his voice than he intended. “It’s just perfume, like you said.” He tries to sound convincing, but he guesses the way he doubles over and clutches his stomach isn’t helping his case. 

“Babe, it’s not perfume,” Jeno sighs, biting his lower lip. He looks at Jaemin, who looks miserable as he holds his stomach. Jaemin probably doesn’t know it, but his scent doesn’t smell just like peaches anymore, it smells a bit rotten. Like a mix of ripe and rotten peaches and too strong alcohol. He’s learned enough of this in school to know that an omega’s normally sweet scent turns pungent when they’re upset or distressed, and this was a textbook example; going into preheat. “You’re an—”

“Jaemin!” 

Donghyuck comes running towards them, his steps faltering once he’s close enough to get a whiff of Jaemin’s scent. He throws Jeno a look, and truthfully, Jeno doesn’t know what he’s asking with his eyes, but he shakes his head either way. 

“Hyuck, I’m hot,” Jaemin moans, face contorting in pain. Now he can smell both Jeno and Donghyuck’s scents, immediately feeling even more at ease. The feeling of ease doesn’t subdue how much pain is rushing through him though, but it does distract him a little. 

“What happened?” Donghyuck asks, crouching down in front of him and putting his hands on his shoulders, taken aback by how hot he feels through his clothes. “Do you have a fever?”

Jeno wants to say it obviously isn’t a fever, but he feels like Donghyuck knows that much and is just saying this to make Jaemin feel better.

“No, not a fever,” Jaemin whines. “I didn’t take my vitamins today. I need to take those.”

At the mention of vitamins, Jeno’s eyebrows shoot up. 

Sure, Jaemin had never mentioned vitamins to him, and it’s not like he expects the other to tell him everything, but the mention of vitamins doesn’t sit right with him. 

It’s not like he and Jaemin are mates, they aren’t even officially dating yet, but he’s always known he had a bit of a connection with the other boy. It’s undeniable, and he knows Jaemin feels it too. 

It’s with that instinct that he knows that they’re more than just vitamins, that Jaemin is talking about. 

“Shit— Okay. Okay, let’s go back home, you need those,” Donghyuck says alarmingly, eyes wide at Jaemin’s revelation. 

As far as Donghyuck knows, Jaemin has never skipped his vitamins,  _ ever _ . He doesn’t know what’ll happen to Jaemin if he skips them, and he isn’t too keen on finding out. 

Jeno, however, squints his eyes. 

“Donghyuck,” Jeno says lowly, motioning for the other to come a bit closer. He does, and Jeno tries his best to look like he’s saying something nice instead of, “Don’t give him the vitamins. Look at what’s in the bottle.”

Donghyuck looks extremely confused, rightfully so, Jeno was also terribly confused, but he is going off instincts which haven’t failed him yet, so he only hopes they aren’t going to fail him now. 

For extra measure, he adds in,

“Please. You smell him too, I  _ know _ you can.”

Jeno feels bad talking about Jaemin like he wasn’t right beside them, but his concerns are more than just if Jaemin can hear them. 

His concerns range from questions all centered around what, why, when and how, but he knows he’s going to have to wait to get answers. All he hopes for now, is that Jaemin will be okay.

“Donghyuck, please,”

Jaemin’s voice breaks them out of their semi silent conversation, Donghyuck breaking eye contact with a simple nod. 

“Nana,” Jeno says to Jaemin next, putting his full attention on him. “Can I give you a hug?”

Jaemin hesitates before answering, not wanting Jeno close enough where he could smell the peaches. But it doesn’t seem like Jaemin is the one who gets to answer, his instincts making him nod, knowing that he wants Jeno to hug him just as much as the other wants to. 

Gratefully, Jeno engulfs the younger into a hug, avoiding his neck and instead burying his face in his hair. He lets out a breath in relief when Jaemin hugs him back, arms around his torso. 

“Feel better soon, Jaemin-ah,” Jeno whispers, pressing a short kiss to Jaemin’s lips. 

They both know Jeno means more with his words, they both know that he knows something. 

But for now, Jeno will pretend like he’s oblivious, if only for Jaemin’s sanity, will pretend like Jaemin didn’t smell beautifully sweet, will pretend like Jaemin isn’t just as much confused as he is. 

Because Jeno knows. 

So all he’s left to wonder, as he watches Jaemin and Donghyuck’s retreating figures, is how Jaemin had managed to hide it, and how he had managed to miss it.


	2. chapter two

The speed in which Jaemin throws himself at the medicine cabinet is highly alarming to Donghyuck, and Jeno’s words ring louder than anything else in his ears. 

_ “Don’t give him the vitamins. Look at what’s in the bottle.” _

Before Jaemin can open the bottle, Donghyuck slaps it out of his hand. 

“What are you doing?” Jaemin gapes in shock, too frozen to even go collect the bottle rolling to the wall. 

Donghyuck looks awfully conflicted in front of him, and his heart sinks to his stomach with the thought that maybe there’s a deeper reason towards why he slapped those pills out of his hands. 

Even after a few seconds pass, Donghyuck doesn’t answer Jaemin’s question, leaving the both of them to look at the bottle still against the floor. 

There’s a heavy silence as they both look at it, and then a heavier one when they look at each other. It only takes ten seconds before the both of them lunge at the bottle, but Jaemin is no match to Donghyuck’s real alpha speed. 

“Let go of them,” Jaemin growls, albeit the presence isn’t behind his words, his body weak because of whatever was happening. Even if he could put up a fight against Donghyuck any other day, the pain and heat in his system makes it impossible to do anything right now. 

“Just what the hell are these?” Donghyuck asks, a newfound fire in his eyes now that he sees how much Jaemin doesn’t want him to open the bottle. 

Maybe Jeno had been onto something. 

“They’re fucking vitamins Donghyuck! I skipped them today so let me have them,” Jaemin explains, stretching his hand over to try and grab the bottle from Donghyuck. 

But Donghyuck seems persistent, rolling over on the ground and trying to hide it with his body. Jaemin’s added weight on top of him isn’t helping, neither is Jaemin practically clawing at him to grab the bottle. 

“If they were just vitamins you wouldn’t be this goddamn annoying over them,” Donghyuck grunts when Jaemin scratches his neck, sending him a glare right after. 

Donghyuck wants to flip Jaemin over and keep him restricted, always stronger than the younger, but he doesn’t want to hurt him. He’s already not feeling well, for whatever reason that could be explained by what's in the bottle of pills, and body slamming him into the floor wouldn’t be helping him. 

But Jaemin constantly wriggling on top of him isn’t any better. 

“Just tell me what they are!” Donghyuck insists, hooking his legs on top of Jaemin’s legs, to keep him from moving too much. “And then I’ll give them back to you.”

“They’re none of your business,” Jaemin spits, trying his hardest to pry Donghyuck’s fingers off of the bottle himself. ‘His hardest’ doesn’t translate to much, when with every passing second, energy seems to be seeping out of his every pore. 

“I’m not fucking around,” Donghyuck hisses, keeping the bottle cradled to his chest as he locks eyes with Jaemin. “There’s something fishy about these,” he concludes. 

“You’re crazy,” Jaemin huffs, shoulder slouching and head dipping between them. He looks exhausted, and Donghyuck almost feels bad, but Jaemin wouldn’t be this tired if he just let up. Plus, the more Jaemin struggles, the quicker he’ll feel exhausted, which is the quicker he’ll be fight-less. 

“Jaemin, let up,” Donghyuck grunts. 

“You’re delusional.”

“You’re lying to me.”

“I’m not!”

“You smell like peaches!”

“I fucking  _ don’t _ !” 

It’s the volume of Jaemin’s statement that renders Donghyuck speechless for a while, eyes wide and body frozen underneath the younger. 

“I’m an alpha, Donghyuck! Alphas don't smell like peaches, I smell like an alpha!” 

Donghyuck gulps under Jaemin’s intense words, but he doesn’t think the younger can hear how desperate he sounds. Almost as if he was desperate for Donghyuck to believe his words, almost as if he was desperate for Donghyuck go let it go. 

And then, it dawns on Donghyuck. 

Why Jaemin smells like peaches. 

Why Jeno asked him to look at what was in the vitamins bottle. 

Why he’s acting the way he is now.

Why he took these pills for years, why he took them every damn day, why he suddenly fell ill after not taking them for only  _ one _ day. 

“… You're not an alpha,” he mutters quietly, almost as if he didn’t believe that the words were falling out of his own mouth. 

But it all makes sense. The way he wasn’t as aggressive as other alphas, the way his instincts never clouded him with violence, the way his body was a bit curvier, the way he always seemed to hen everyone… 

For a split second, Donghyuck sees panic wash over Jaemin’s eyes, before they’re replaced with a look of a frantic kind of irritation. 

“Yes I am!” 

The more Jaemin tries to convince him, the more he realizes that the smell around them isn’t the burnt cedar wood or the overpowering cumin it’d normally be if Jaemin was upset, instead it smelled like rotten peaches and an excess amount of sugary alcohol. 

Jaemin was right. 

Alphas don't smell like peaches. 

Jaemin isn’t an alpha. 

And where betas don’t have scents… Omegas have sweeter ones. 

Fruitier ones. 

Sugary ones. 

“You’re an omega,”

Donghyuck can feel Jaemin’s grip on his hands fall limp for a moment, and can see how his eyes go hollow for a second. He sees how Jaemin’s lips set into a thinner, firmer line, and how the heat radiating off of his body becomes even more overbearing. 

Almost as if he was distressed. 

And then, it hits Donghyuck that Jaemin hadn’t simply ‘fallen ill’. 

He’s in preheat, hot and in pain. 

“Don’t be stupid,” 

Jaemin’s voice rips Donghyuck out of his thoughts, watching as Jaemin gulps, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, and how he takes a deep breath.

“You’re in preheat—”

“I don’t  _ know  _ what the hell is wrong with me right now, but I’m  _ not _ an omega! So stop saying bullshit.”

Donghyuck, who’s had enough of whatever was going on, finally uses his strength to flip them over, pinning Jaemin under him while the bottle of pills goes flying somewhere out of the kitchen. 

“Get off of me!” The younger yells, but his attempts to free himself are fruitless, nothing compared to when Donghyuck uses his alpha strength. 

He didn’t want to end up using his strength, but this is the only way Jaemin doesn’t end up hurting the both of them or exhausting himself more. He’s clearly not feeling well, and Donghyuck believes it’s all adrenaline which has kept him going until now. 

“Jaemin,” Donghyuck says softly, trying to veer them both away from the aggression they were holding. “It’s okay to be an omega—”

“I’m not an omega! What don’t you understand?” 

“You’re an omega, Nana! Your pheromones are omega pheromones, your body is built like an omega, your instincts are omega instincts!”

Every word Donghyuck says feels like a slap to the face for Jaemin, like what he’s spent years hiding is all being flushed down the toilet in front of him. It didn’t matter that he took three gresusome and detrimental pills since he was thirteen,  _ every single day _ , because Donghyuck is revealing everything he never wanted anyone to know. 

He never wanted people to know he was a disappointment. 

He never wanted people to know he was weak.

He never wanted people to know he was a damn omega, but here Donghyuck is, above him and stripping away all the defences Jaemin had set up around him, like it was nothing. 

And it makes him feel sick to his stomach. 

More than the boiling temperature pulsing through his body, more than the pain churning in his stomach, more than the lightheadedness making itself known in Jaemin’s head, Donghyuck’s words make him sick to his stomach. 

Jaemin doesn’t want to be defeated,  _ alphas are not defeated _ , but he doesn’t think he even has the strength to keep his eyes open anymore. 

“I’m not an omega,” Jaemin whispers, hot flashes of white presenting themselves behind his eyelids every time he blinks. “Not an omega,” he repeats, to get Donghyuck to understand. 

He closes his eyes and the hot flashes stop, but the thumping of his heart, the pain in his stomach and the heat everywhere else doesn’t. 

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck sighs, seeming to notice that the fight is leaving Jaemin with every breath the younger’s takes. “It’s okay.”

The last thing Jaemin remembers before everything fades to black, is the pitiful whimper that escapes him, as he says,

“Don’t wanna be an omega.” 

  
  
  


When Donghyuck walks out of Jaemin’s bedroom after tucking him in, a knock from the front door follows immediately. 

He makes his way to the door quickly, not wanting any noise to wake Jaemin up. He had passed out, but Donghyuck didn’t know when he’d wake up. By the looks of the terribly early morning he had, it’d be for the best if Jaemin didn’t wake up any time soon. 

Donghyuck opens the door to a nervous looking Jeno, who’s holding a textbook in his hands. 

“Jesus, you came here in record time,” Donghyuck whistles, recalling that he’d only sent Jeno his text ten minutes ago. 

“I didn’t go to class,” Jeno explains as he comes in, taking off his shoes and following Donghyuck to the dining table. They both sit down, and Jeno sets the textbook onto the table. “I was too worried. Is he okay?” 

Donghyuck bites his lip at the question, fiddling with the bottle of pills that he brought to the table too. 

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck answers honestly, opening up the bottle. 

He pours the pills onto the table, not a care in the world what happens to them. It’s not like he’d let Jaemin take them after today. 

“This is a heat suppressant,” Jeno immediately says, picking up one of the larger looking pills. It’s a smooth oval shape, one half white while the other half is light pink. “An uncommon one though.”

Jeno opens up his textbook with the pill still in his hand, skimming the table of contents before flipping to the right page. Once there, Donghyuck sees multiple images of different pills and syringes, things he doesn’t understand, so he patiently waits for Jeno to continue instead of trying to read the text.

“It says that this one is for long term uses,” Jeno mumbles, eyebrow furrowed as he continues to skim the textbook. “And this one,” he starts, picking up another pill from the table. It’s around the same size as the heat suppressant, but instead of being an oval shape, it’s circular and completely white. “This is a scent blocker.”

Donghyuck nods his head, he knows what a scent blocker does. 

What he doesn’t know, however, is why Jaemin would be needing one. He doesn’t even know why Jaemin would be needing heat suppressants either. 

“And this one?” Donghyuck asks, flicking the last, tiny cylindrical pill to Jeno. It looks like a tube shape almost, an opaque blue colour. 

Jeno doesn’t say anything for a while, flipping through pages and looking over images and text blocks. Donghyuck doesn’t know how Jeno reads that fast, but maybe it was something that came out of habit. 

“I think it’s a… Scent?” Jeno finally says, tilting his head to the side in confusion. He looks up at Donghyuck for a moment before pointing to a picture, and the latter’s eyes follow, until he’s looking at a picture of a pill that looks similar to the one in Jeno’s hand. The only difference between the two is the colour. “It’s supposed to give you an artificial scent.”

Donghyuck’s eyes flick back to Jeno’s at the mention of an artificial scent, and there seems to be a mutual understanding that passes through them. 

“Cedar wood and cumin,” they say at the same time. 

The heaviness of all the pills they’ve listed seem to dawn on the two boys, if the way the atmosphere around them turns ten times more tense and heavy. 

“Donghyuck… How long has Jaemin been taking these ‘vitamins’?” He asks quietly, almost as if he’s afraid to know. 

Donghyuck is afraid to answer, already knowing it will make Jeno’s heart plummet to the soles of his feet. 

“Six years,” he gulps, feeling his eyes water right after. “Six fucking years Jeno, since he was thirteen.”

Jeno gulps too, and he feels awful as he watches Donghyuck put his face in his hands, able to smell how aggravated he’s feeling. 

“Why would he take them?” Donghyuck asks again after a few minutes of silence. His voice is a bit muffled because of his palms, but he doesn’t look like he’s going to make any move to move them. “Why doesn’t he want to be an omega?”

“He said that?” 

“Right before passing out—”

“He passed out?” Jeno exclaims, sitting up a bit straighter in his chair. Donghyuck is sure he hears Jeno’s knees bang against the underside of the table, but the latter doesn’t seem to make the pain visible on his face. 

“We got… Aggressive when we came home,” Donghyuck explains with a wince, heavily regretting his choices now. “He wouldn’t let me look at the bottle, kept trying to take it from me.” 

Jeno nods slowly, until his face crumbles as the reality of everything sets in. 

“His omega… What's going to happen to his omega?” He whispers, bottom lip caught between his teeth. He doesn’t want to think about how hurt Jaemin’s omega probably is, but he knows that it’s also something that they can’t brush over. 

“We’ll take him to a doctor,” Donghyuck says firmly, taking in a shuddering breath right after. “We’ll make him see a doctor and we’ll… We’ll be there for him, and we’ll accept him no matter what. He’s not just Jaemin. He’s my brother.”

  
  
  


When Jaemin finally comes to, the heat in his body isn’t as overwhelming, and the pain in his body has subdued. He also doesn’t feel as lightheaded anymore, and his headache is gone. 

Oh.

And there’s also a hand in his hair. 

At first he thinks it’s Donghyuck’s hand, but then he catches the scent of vodka, and he knows that it’s not Donghyuck. 

At the realization of who it really is, Jaemin’s blood runs cold. 

The same feeling of panic and dread from a few hours ago comes back, but this time tenfold as he realizes that Jeno is in bed next to him. 

Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem at all. They’ve shared a bed before multiple times. 

But this time, when he knows that Jeno was already suspicious and when he knows that he hasn't taken his pills, he knows nothing good could be awaiting him. 

Jeno seems to notice he’s awake before he can try to plan an escape route, much to Jaemin’s chagrin. 

“Hey baby,” Jeno greets, the ever so present soft smile on his face. He looks at him the same way he’s been looking at him from the day they met, and it takes Jaemin aback. 

So instead of greeting him like he would’ve, Jaemin turns away from the other, turning his back to Jeno as he pulls the blankets tighter over his body. 

“Go away, Jeno,” he whispers, closing his eyes like it’d help him pretend like Jeno wasn’t still laying behind him. 

“You don’t want me here?” The older boy asks, and Jaemin can pick up just the tiniest bit of disappointment in his tone. 

He doesn’t answer the question directly, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get the answer he wants to convey out of his mouth. Instead, he says,

“I smell horrible Jeno. Get out.”

A few seconds of silence go by, and Jaemin starts to think that Jeno believes him and is just thinking about a way to politely agree with him, until Jeno speaks again. 

“I think you smell beautiful.” 

Jaemin doesn’t want to admit it, he hopes Jeno didn’t hear it, but his breath hitches as he hears Jeno’s words. Jeno’s words have always managed to make him weak hearted, but he didn’t think anything he could say in this scenario would make him feel better. 

“You’re just saying that,” he protests, wincing at how small his voice sounds. He doesn’t want to sound pathetic right now. 

“Why would I lie to you?” 

Jaemin tenses at the wording, and from the way his back is turned to Jeno, he misses the way the latter shakes his head regretfully. 

“Jaemin, you smell like peaches and Rosé. You smell wonderful.” Jaemin shakes his head. “What’s wrong? You don’t have to hide anymore.”

Jaemin can tell by the tone of Jeno’s voice that he’s trying to be comforting and nice, but all Jaemin can think about is the fact that he’s even here right now. He didn’t expect Jeno to stay when he found out the truth, much less stay and try to make him feel better. 

“I don’t want to be…” 

“… An omega?” Jeno finishes, noting the way the younger had trailed off. The sentence doesn’t make any sense to Jeno, he knows that Jaemin doesn’t hold grudges against secondary genders or doesn’t think there’s a superior gender. So he doesn’t know where this is coming from. 

“Don’t say it,” Jaemin whines pitifully. “Makes it more real.”

Jeno furrows his eyebrows, gently placing a hand on the other’s shoulder. 

“It is real. You’re an omega, Jaemin.” 

The last thing Jeno expects to hear from Jaemin is a sniff, but then more follow, and now Jaemin is crying into his pillow. 

“I don’t wanna be,” he cries, curling more in on himself under the blanket. “Don’t wanna be a disappointment, don’t wanna not be enough, don’t wanna bring shame—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jeno shushes, alarmed by everything Jaemin is saying. “Nana, no. You’re not a disappointment or anything like that,” he assures, now both hands on Jaemin’s shoulders. He turns him around until he can see the younger’s face, tears running down his cheeks and all. 

Jaemin doesn’t let him look for long though, hiding his face away in Jeno’s chest and letting the warmth and scent of the older boy encapsulate him. 

He doesn’t think he deserves to have Jeno’s arms around him right now, after he had lied to him, but Jeno isn’t pulling away, so he’ll let himself be selfish for now. He can berate himself for this later. 

“I don’t want to be an omega,” he begs, a sob ripping through his throat. “Please let me be an alpha, I just want to be an alpha again.”

“You’ll hurt yourself doing that, Jaemin,” Jeno says gently, but a bit more seriously. “You’re already perfect the way you are.”

Jaemin shakes his head again. 

“Why can’t I be good?” 

“You  _ are _ good,” Jeno insists, bringing his hands down to cup Jaemin’s face. He doesn’t let the younger hide away this time, making sure they hold eye contact as he speaks. “You’re good enough Jaemin, you’re not bringing shame anywhere, you’re  _ you.  _ And it doesn’t get any better than you.”

Jaemin doesn’t seem to say anything to that, only crying harder after hearing Jeno’s words. The older boy doesn’t push him, just lets him fall limp in his hands as he tries to calm him down. 

Does he know the details of why Jaemin had been taking those three pills for six years? No. 

Does he know the reason why Jaemin is hysterical over being an omega? No. 

Does he know he’ll wait for Jaemin to be ready to tell him? Yes. 

Because Jeno is willing to wait if it’s Jaemin. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Jaemin, stop shaking.”

Jaemin flinches at the sudden voice piercing through the silence, eyes fidgeting over to where Donghyuck is looking at him from his spot leaning up against the wall. 

“Easier said than done,” he bites back, squeezing his hands in his lap. Even if he wanted to stop shaking, sitting and waiting around for the clock to hit 1:30pm was eating at his nerves. 

It’s only been two days since Jaemin’s meltdown, and as much as he doesn’t want to be with Donghyuck alone, where the elephant in the room is ever so obvious, he knows he can’t avoid the topic forever. 

And Donghyuck’s his brother. He can’t hurt him, right? 

Well, that’s what Jaemin thought about his parents too, but he knows that Donghyuck isn’t like his parents. 

It’s also been two days since he’s had a proper conversation with Jeno, not knowing how to feel about the whole situation after the other had found out. 

Jeno hadn’t been acting any different, still the same way he always is; still doting, still caring, still the same old Lee Jeno. 

But for some reason, for Jaemin, it’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop. He doesn’t know how he feels about having not just one person, but two people already knowing of his secret, but it’s like living in a constant state of anxiety. 

And he doesn’t know why, because it’s not like neither Jeno nor Donghyuck are being outwardly rude about everything, but he can’t help but think it. It sends his thoughts down in spirals, and he wishes it could stop. 

Donghyuck had thrown away all his pills, with the help of Jeno, and every morning, Jaemin finds his fingers itching for the three familiar shapes. 

In a sickening way, it’s like withdrawal, but the more Jaemin thinks of it like that, the more it could make sense. 

Yesterday was his first day, technically second, without swallowing down his pills. He was still hot and in pain because of his preheat, whatever that was supposed to be like, but it wasn’t as intense as the day before. 

Donghyuck had to drag him out of bed to eat breakfast, and even though Donghyuck’s presence and behaviour had been the same as it always was,  _ comforting, familial, homey,  _ Jaemin didn’t want to be around him. 

Nonetheless, he had sat down at the table and reluctantly eaten, eyes constantly glancing around for the bottle of vitamins which he knows isn’t around anymore. 

Donghyuck had caught onto his flickering gaze, and had reminded Jaemin once again, rather harshly, that the pills were gone. 

And for some reason, that had been enough for Jaemin to regurgitate all of his breakfast into the toilet bowl, Donghyuck patting his back and pushing his sweaty bangs off of his forehead. 

It’s like his body doesn’t know how to function without the presence of the heat suppressants, scent blockers and scent mockers. 

It’s like he didn’t even have control over his body anymore. 

As much as his omega was now out in the open, he didn’t know what to do with it. 

Donghyuck had called into school and emailed Jaemin’s professors and soccer coach to tell them know he wouldn’t be coming to class or practice for at the next week, and while Jaemin had been reluctant, Donghyuck had also taken the week off, so he knows that he’ll be held prisoner. 

He feels bad, in the back of his mind, knowing that Donghyuck will be missing out on more school than he already is. He already struggles with stress, and he didn’t want Donghyuck to be swamped when he got back into the groove of things. 

But alas, Donghyuck doesn’t listen to him, and Jaemin doesn’t know how to talk to him normally after his secret had been found out. 

Yesterday’s train wreck leads them to present time, waiting for Jisung to knock on their door. 

Donghyuck had called Jisung even before letting Jaemin know, asking their youngest brother to come over as soon as he could, as there was something important to talk about. Donghyuck left out the details, but Jisung didn’t need details to let them know he’d be there within the next day. 

Jaemin agrees that it doesn’t feel right to hide this from Jisung if Donghyuck  _ and  _ Jeno know, but that didn’t mean it was going to be easy to tell him. Jaemin didn’t even tell Donghyuck and Jeno, they had found out on their own, so he really has no idea how to tackle this situation. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Donghyuck sighs, pushing himself off of the wall. He makes his way to sit beside Jaemin, leaving a space that normally wasn’t there between them. Jaemin kind of wants to close it, but he also doesn’t want Donghyuck to be able to smell him very clearly. Which sounds stupid, he knows, because Donghyuck can smell him perfectly from where he is now. “But it’s just Jisungie. It’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that,” Jaemin says, snappier than usual. Donghyuck had said that he’d be more irritable because of his ‘preheat’, whatever that was, because of the hormonal imbalance in his body. Sure, he’s learned about all these things in school, but it’s different when it’s happening to his own body. Especially because he’s gone so long without it happening. 

“He’ll understand,” Donghyuck assures, looking at Jaemin with soft eyes. He hopes whatever is in his eyes can convey what he can’t convey through touches, but Jaemin looks away before even three seconds pass, so Donghyuck doesn’t know. “Are you sure you don’t want Jeno here?”

Donghyuck had already warned Jeno that Jaemin might not want to see him too much after everything, and although Jeno was predictably disappointed and a bit upset, he understood where Jaemin was coming from. 

At least a bit. 

So he reluctantly decided that he’d only show up when Jaemin wanted him to. He knows it may not be often, but as long as it doesn’t make Jaemin uncomfortable, Jeno is fine with anything. 

He didn’t know when he had grown so incredibly fond of the younger boy, but he’s not complaining about it one bit. 

“No Jeno,” Jaemin immediately says, gulping as he does. It’s not like he doesn’t  _ want  _ Jeno to be with him, he just doesn’t know  _ how  _ to be with him. 

The rational part of his brain, which sounds alarmingly like Jeno himself, says that things will continue as normal, and that he doesn’t need to act any different. But the more irrational part of his brain, the prominent part, is psyching Jaemin out by saying that Jeno wouldn’t want an omega. 

After all, they hadn’t met because Jeno was interested in an omega. 

“Okay,” Donghyuck says gently, agreeing to whatever Jaemin needed. He doesn’t want to stress him out more than he already is. “Jeno doesn’t have to be here.”

Before either of them can say anything else, there’s frantic knocking on their front door. 

Donghyuck immediately gets up to answer while Jaemin immediately tenses, shoulders squared and posture unnaturally perfect. 

“I missed you,” he hears Jisung greet from the foyer, probably trapping Donghyuck between his lanky arms and giving him a hug. The more he thinks about it, the more he wants a hug in Jisung’s lanky arms, but he doesn’t know how to get close to the other boy.

He doesn’t get that much time to think about it either, with Donghyuck and Jisung walking into the living room a few seconds later. 

“Jaemin hyung!” Jisung cheers, seeming as if he hadn’t seen Jaemin in months. He knows it isn’t the case, they all hung out last week, but Jaemin understands the feeling. 

It’s hard staying away from Jisung, he’s lucky he’s living with Donghyuck. But he can’t imagine how Jisung feels, away from the both of them. Luckily, it’s Jisung’s last year of high school, so hopefully he can join them here once he graduates. 

Their youngest easily tackles Jaemin in a hug without further notice, and where it would never be an issue any other time, Jaemin is overbearingly affectionate with his brothers, he freezes up instantly in Jisung’s arms, despite wanting his hug only a few seconds prior. 

Jisung’s scent of sage and lemongrass is overpowering where Jaemin can smell is against his scent glands, and he knows he isn’t much better with Jisung’s nose right up against his own scent glands. 

The only difference is that this time, Jisung isn’t smelling cedar wood and cumin.

“Hyung, you smell weird,” the youngest notes innocently, wrinkling his nose cutely as he breaks away from the hug. 

“No he doesn’t,” Donghyuck immediately denies, glaring at Jisung. He should’ve seen this coming, what else could he have expected from a clueless Jisung? “It’s not weird.”

“No, he’s right,” Jaemin counters, already feeling his breath pick up. Jisung has barely said a sentence, but it still feels like all of Jaemin’s worst fears come true. 

Of course Jisung thought he smelled weird, he smelled like an omega. And that was weird, because Jaemin isn’t an omega. He  _ shouldn’t  _ be an omega. 

“It is weird,” he adds before Donghyuck can say anything, looking at Jisung expectantly. “I smell weird, don’t I?” 

At Jaemin’s question, Jisung looks between his two older brothers hesitantly, taking in the way Donghyuck glares warningly at him, and the way Jaemin looks desperately at him. 

He chooses his next words very carefully. 

“It’s… Different, Jaemin hyung. It’s different. You smell different,” he says slowly, looking back up at Donghyuck for approval. 

“A bad kind of different,” Jaemin tacks on, speaking as if it was merely something Jisung had forgotten to say. “You can say it, it’s okay. Just tell me Jisungie—”

“Hyung,” Jisung cuts off, eyes widened at what Jaemin was talking about. Sure, he doesn’t really understand what’s going on, but he doesn’t like the way Jaemin is talking about himself at all. “You smell sweet. Like… Like peaches. It’s nice.” 

“ _ No _ ,” Jaemin chokes out, letting his face fall into his palms as his throat starts closing up on him. “I don’t  _ want _ to—”

“Jaemin hyung?” 

Jisung sounds so extremely worried, and all it does is break Jaemin’s heart even more. First, he can’t be an alpha, and now he’s worrying Jisung over stupid reasons. 

It seems like he can’t do anything right, can’t even have this conversation with his own brother. 

On top of that, Jaemin didn’t take any pills this morning either, obviously, but his body still isn’t used to it. It makes him even more stressed, itching for the feeling and taste of the pills sliding down his throat. 

That’s not a good combination, it occurs to him, with anxiety rushing through his veins, tears pricking his eyes and the unbearable need for his system to come back together and be an  _ alpha.  _

It all ends the same way it did yesterday, except this time it’s both Jisung and Donghyuck tending to him as he throws up in the toilet bowl. 

  
  
  


Jaemin passes out after puking his guts out, much to Donghyuck’s chagrin. He would’ve much rather had Jaemin explain to Jisung why they had called him over, it would’ve been better for the both of them. 

But he doesn’t have a choice now, not with how Jisung is constantly firing questions at him about what’s going on with Jaemin. 

“Jisungie, you have to promise not to freak out,” Donghyuck starts, holding one of the younger’s hands. They’re both sitting on the couch facing each other, and Jisung looks terribly nervous with his bottom lip between his teeth and tensed eyebrows. 

“No promises, you’re scaring me,” he admits softly, squeezing Donghyuck’s hand a little tighter. 

“Jaemin… Jaemin is an omega, Jisung.”

There’s a few tense seconds of silence between them until Jisung’s shoulders fall a bit more lax, nodding his head slowly. 

“Is it weird that that isn’t as bad as I thought? I never really completely believed he was an alpha…” 

Donghyuck quirks an eyebrow up at this, tilting his head to the side. He’s happy about Jisung’s reaction, but he’s a bit confused. 

“What do you mean? You knew?”

“I didn’t know anything concrete,” Jisung says, shaking his head. “But he never… Seemed like an alpha to me? I guess to the naked eye it wasn’t obvious, but past everything… There isn’t an alpha inside of him,” he explains, shrugging his shoulders after. 

Donghyuck nods slowly, understanding Jisung the more he thinks about it. 

When he looks back on it, Jaemin has many habits and mannerisms that omegas have, and it really should’ve been obvious to Donghyuck since he's been living alone with him for so long. 

Donghyuck wants to blame not knowing on his own negligence, but he knows better than to do that. Jaemin simply hid it well, and while he could’ve been more attentive, there really isn’t anyone to blame in this situation. 

“Right,” he mumbles. “Well, Jaemin has a doctor’s appointment in a few hours,” he says, letting go of Jisung’s hand and patting his thigh. “That’s the other reason I called you here. I think it’s best if we’re there for him. Jeno will be there too.” 

At the mention of Jeno’s name, Jisung perks up. 

Donghyuck has always known that Jisung is fond of Jeno, looking up to him a bit and always striking conversation when he visits. 

But the way his eyes are set hard right now, Donghyuck knows there isn’t a casual question about Jeno that’s going to be brought up. 

“Does Jeno hyung know about Nana hyung?” He asks seriously. Donghyuck nods his head. “And he’s fine with it, right? Because there’s nothing wrong with being an omega. And if Jeno hyung can’t accept Nana hyung for the way he is, then we  _ have  _ to beat him up Hyuck hyung—”

Donghyuck snorts out a laugh, putting a hand on Jisung’s shoulder to calm him down. 

It’s cute, how concerned he is for Jaemin and how much he cares about him, and Donghyuck knows that Jisung meant every word he said. He wouldn’t hesitate with beating up Jeno, despite their size difference. 

“Jeno is okay, Jisungie. He still likes Nana all the same,” he assures, patting Jisung’s cheek affectionately. 

“Okay, that’s good,” the younger one says, more relaxed now. “Because I really will, like… I don’t know, step on his throat, or something.” 

Donghyuck hums while rolling his eyes, patting Jisung’s head lovingly. 

“I know you will Sung, I know you will…” 

  
  
  
  


Each of Jaemin’s hands are in Donghyuck and Jisung’s hands, sweaty and clammy as they walk through the doctor’s office. 

Donghyuck had set up an appointment for him, and as terrified as Jaemin was to be here, he’s also rather curious. 

In the beginning phases of him getting used to taking all these pills, he’s always wondered what the effects would be on his body. Even more so after he’s learned about all these different medications in school. 

For sure, the thought and the idea scares him, but more than that, he’s curious. 

So it’s with small and tentative steps that the three of them make their way to the front desk, where Jaemin gives his name with a shaky voice. He’s asked to fill out some paperwork after providing his health card, so the three of them walk over to the seating area in the waiting room. Jaemin lets go of their hands as he fills in the papers, struggling a little with questions that ask about his heats or ruts. 

It hits him then that he’s never been through a real heat or a real rut. The realization stirs up something inside of him, but it quickly disappears when Jisung puts a hand on his thigh, seemingly sensing his distress. 

Jaemin has to get used to the fact that his emotions are more visible now that his natural scent is out, but it’ll take some time. 

Jaemin is finished filling in his forms twenty minutes later, a large portion of the biology section being left blank. He doesn’t know how to answer them, it’s not like he’s lived as a real alpha or a real omega… 

It saddens him a little, but he brushes it off as to not make Donghyuck and Jisung even more anxious than they probably already are. 

The wait is silent after that, Jaemin holding both his brothers hands again. His leg won’t stop bouncing up and down, and his hands are only probably getting even clammier, but Donghyuck and Jisung let him be. 

It’s probably for the best that he gets all his jitters out now anyway. 

“Jaemin hyung?” Jisung speaks quietly, so as to not disrupt the silent environment of the waiting room. Jaemin looks over at him, offering a weak smile. “I love you hyung. No matter what, okay?” 

Touched by the sincerity behind Jisung’s words, Jaemin believes him a bit. The corners of his eyes prick, but he can’t let that consume him, not when his name is called out right after by a nurse. 

“I love you too Sungie,” he says softly, sending him a slightly happier smile. 

Donghyuck makes way to get up with him, but Jaemin turns to him before he can. 

“I’ll come with you,” Donghyuck says firmly, looking like he wasn’t up for an argument. 

Jaemin smiles internally, touched by Donghyuck’s sentiment, but he knows he can’t do it with Donghyuck there. 

As much as it should seem like his brother would give him strength, he doesn’t think he can make it through this appointment knowing that Donghyuck was there, listening to everything and watching everything in real time, pitying Jaemin. 

Maybe he’s being selfish, but Jaemin thinks this is something he has to do on his own. He’s been alone in this since the very beginning anyway, might as well end the way he started. 

“It’s okay,” Jaemin gently assures, slipping his hand out of Donghyuck’s hand. “I’ll be okay. I’ll behave, I promise.” 

Donghyuck lets him go reluctantly, sitting back down in his chair. 

“Love you Jaem.”

“Love you too Hyuck.”

Jaemin watches with a final glance as Jisung scooches over and sits next to Donghyuck, holding the other’s hand. He sends them one last smile before he turns around and follows the nurse to the doctor’s room. 

With a deep breath, he greets the doctor with the brightest smile he could, sitting down on the bench and getting ready for… 

… God knows what, really. 

  
  
  


Jeno comes into the waiting room to sit with Jisung and Donghyuck only twenty minutes after Donghyuck texted him. 

“You always get here so fast,” Donghyuck sighs, looking over at where Jeno looks kind of breathless sitting next to Jisung. “You know you don’t have to like… Run here, right?”

“If it’s for Jaemin, I’d drop anything,”

Donghyuck can see the way Jisung grimaces, but all he sees is how genuine Jeno sounds. So he accepts it, knowing that Jaemin has another person added onto himself and Jisung who cares about him. 

They pick up small conversations while they wait for Jaemin to come out of the doctor’s room, not knowing how long it’ll take. 

Time passes rather slowly, and when Donghyuck checks the clock on the wall after a while, he sees that they’ve been here for around two hours. 

Just as he’s about to pull out his phone, tuning out the conversation Jeno and Jisung are having, he hears footsteps coming closer to where the three of them are seated. 

Donghyuck, Jisung and Jeno all look up at the same time, all watching as Jaemin walks over to them with tear stained cheeks and a heaving chest. 

Alarmed, they all stand up immediately, ready to be of any help they can as Jaemin comes to a halt in front of them. They all smell Jaemin’s sadness from his scent, and concern washes over them all when they catch sight of how distraught Jaemin looks. 

Jaemin, who finally notices Jeno’s presence, breaks down into heavier sobs and louder cries. 

Jaemin cowers away from Jeno’s outstretched arms, the heaviness of what he just learned from the nurse settling in deeper at the sight of him. 

But after a few seconds and when he gets a clearer whiff of Jeno’s  _ oh so familiar _ and comforting scent, he all but throws himself at the alpha, crying into his neck and inhaling his scent. 

“Shh, Jaeminnie, it’s okay…” Jeno assures, slowly stepping them back until they’re seated again, hoping it’d help Jaemin be more comfortable. And that it’ll draw attention away from them. “It’s okay baby, it’ll be okay.” 

“No, it’s not okay!” Jaemin cries, hugging Jeno tighter and trying to get as much of the other as he can. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for or what it is exactly about Jeno that helps him, but he knows that being apart from him won’t be helpful at all. As always, his omegas yearns for Jeno. “I ruined it Jeno, I ruined everything!” 

Over Jaemin’s shoulder, Jeno throws both Donghyuck and Jisung a concerned glance, who both look equally as concerned and scared. 

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Jisung assures, piping up for the first time. He doesn’t know if Jaemin can hear him, but he hopes he can. 

“Yes I did,” Jaemin insists, willing himself to calm down enough to talk to them. He’s glad they’re patient, but there’s only so much patience in a person. He lays his head on Jeno’s shoulder, arms still around him. His nose is right up against Jeno’s scent glands, and he’s grateful that with every breath, he inhales a lungful of  _ Jeno _ . 

“What happened?” Donghyuck asks gently, not sure if Jaemin would be ready to share. 

Jaemin doesn’t answer right away, but they’re all silent as they wait. It takes him a few minutes to calm down, and when he finally does, his face is swollen and flushed, and his voice comes out raspy as he says,

“I-I can’t have my own p-pups, my own babies. I’m… I’m i-infertile.”

And then, Jaemin breaks down all over again. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin asks to ride in Jeno’s car for the ride home, claiming he needed to talk to him. The implications make Jeno’s stomach churn, but he shouldn’t be anticipating the worst right off the bat. That wasn’t fair. 

Instead, he helps Jaemin sit down and waits patiently for him to put on his seatbelt. All of Jaemin’s movements are slow, probably emotionally taxed after his appointment. They don’t know the details of everything, only that Jaemin’s heats wouldn't be actual, full fledged heats for a while. 

Because of all the chemicals his body had undergone for so long, his heats wouldn’t be regular until his body was used to the cycle. 

Jeno didn’t know what he expected from his appointment, but it definitely wasn’t all of this. Nonetheless, there’s not much he can do besides be there for Jaemin whenever the younger wants him, now being a good example. 

As much as Jeno thinks that it’d be a better idea for Jaemin to ride home with his brothers and spend as much time as he could with them, he respects his want to drive with him. Although he doesn’t understand it, much less understand what it could exactly be that Jaemin needs to talk to him about, he doesn’t question it. 

Because as of now, it’s not Jeno’s place to ask questions. For now, it’s his place to be a supporter and a pillar. And for Jaemin, it’s not hard to do either of those things. 

So all he does is put a gentle hand on Jaemin’s thigh, to let him know that he’s there for him. Jaemin doesn’t say anything for the first half of the ride, but then he starts playing with Jeno’s fingers. He still doesn’t say anything though, but it’s better than nothing. 

Jeno feels Jaemin rub circles on his knuckles with his fingertip, running down his visible veins and bones. When he looks over at Jaemin for a while, he sees that the younger is looking out the window mindlessly.

_ At least he’s stopped crying,  _ Jeno thinks, turning back to look at the road. 

He debates whether to turn the radio on or not, but decides against it when he figures Jaemin must enjoy the silence. Jeno can’t tell how he’s feeling off of his gaze, but he looks rather daydreamy, so Jeno lets him be without saying anything. 

“Jeno?” Jaemin asks after some more time. He’s still looking out the window, and his fingers have stopped tracing Jeno’s hand, despite still holding onto it. 

“Yeah?” The older boy hums, keeping himself neutral and calm so that Jaemin felt safe enough to say whatever he wanted to say. 

“Do you want to stop seeing each other?” 

Jeno doesn’t show it, unless his tensed jaw gives it away, but he’s very taken aback by the question. He knew Jaemin wouldn’t be the happiest about everything which has happened in the past few days, but he didn’t think it’d have anything to do with their relationship, besides maybe wanting some time away. 

Completely stopping seeing each other though, that was something Jeno didn’t think they’d be talking about. 

“No, I don’t,” Jeno answers firmly, squeezing Jaemin’s hand lightly for reassurance. He mentally debates whether to pull over for a while or not, but decides to when he can smell Jaemin’s scent become stronger, meaning he’s becoming more passionate, or distressed. Either outcome wasn’t going to be good if they were on the road. 

Once he’s pulled to the side of the road, he turns to face Jaemin completely, only to see him still looking out the window without any emotions visible on his face. His scent though, that was a different story. 

“Do you want to?” He asks after a few more seconds. He doesn’t get an answer right away, he didn’t think he would, but he still waits patiently for Jaemin to turn his head slowly to look back at him. 

For the first few seconds that Jeno is looking at Jaemin, he can’t gage anything from his face. But then, Jaemin frowns ever so slightly. 

“No, I don’t want to,” he answers, also turning his body to face Jeno properly. “But you can… Think about it, y’know? I won’t be upset if you don’t want to stay,” Jaemin explains calmly, unaware of all the havoc he’s wrecking in Jeno’s heart. “I understand, if you don’t want me…” 

Jeno doesn’t say anything at first, taking a few seconds to recollect his thoughts so that he doesn’t blurt out something he might regret. He doesn’t want to sound rash when he answers, but he also wants to get his point across. 

Instead, he softly lets go of Jaemin’s hand, bringing it up to cup his face. His thumb strokes under his eye and along the apple of his cheek, before stopping right by his ear. 

“I want you,” he says genuinely. He scans Jaemin’s face for any reaction before continuing. “I’ll always want you.” 

“You don’t have to lie,”

Now it’s Jeno’s turn to frown, tilting his head to the side slightly as he watches the way Jaemin’s frown also deepens. 

“Why would I lie about this?” He asks, keeping his tone calm. As calm as it can be, at least, he’s rather upset that Jaemin thinks this way. “Haven’t I been clear enough about how serious I am about you?” 

Jaemin mumbles something, eyes suddenly downcast, and Jeno doesn’t catch onto what it is. 

“Pardon? What did you say?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be,” Jaemin repeats, moving his head out of Jeno’s hand. “Interested in me.”

Jeno lets his hand fall, not paying much mind to filtering his facial expressions anymore. As much as he doesn’t want to give Jaemin the wrong idea, Jaemin is giving  _ him _ the wrong idea. 

“I don’t think you get to decide that for me,” 

“I don’t think you want an  _ omega _ ,” Jaemin fires back quickly, like he was waiting to say it. 

That doesn’t sit right with Jeno, and neither does what he said. 

“First of all, don't talk about omegas like that,” he starts, noticing the way Jaemin gulps. “Second of all, I thought I told you I didn’t care about that? It doesn’t matter to me what you are.”

Now, Jeno can see Jaemin’s jaw tense, and he wonders what’s going through his mind. Just as he wonders, Jaemin sucks in a sharp breath and says, 

“Find someone else.”

Jeno frowns, irritated, quick to fire back. 

“I don’t want anyone else,”

“Date someone who’s not messed up,”

“ _ You’re  _ not messed up,”

“Be happy with—”

“Not without you.” Jeno cuts in, not even letting Jaemin finish the sentence. He knows what he’s going to say, and he doesn’t want to hear it. “Never without you.” 

“What can I even do for you?” Jaemin asks defeatedly, although he still doesn’t look at Jeno.

“You don’t need to do anything for me,” Jeno explains, furrowing his eyebrows distastefully at the mere thought. “I just like being with you.”

“Just like being with someone else! I have nothing to offer—”

“I don’t want you to offer, Jaemin,” Jeno says sternly, voice turned steely with how he wants Jaemin to understand. “You’re already all I’ve ever wanted and more.” 

“Please,” Jaemin begs, tilting his head up and blinking back what Jeno thinks are tears. “Please understand that you could never want to be with someone this damaged.”

“Jaemin-ah,” Jeno gasps softly, scowl evident on his face. He reaches over again and this time grabs Jaemin’s face in both hands, making sure Jaemin looks at him. “Don’t say that about yourself.”

“It’s true,” the younger one says shakily, breath stuttering in his throat. He hates how he always feels protected in Jeno’s hold, how he always feels like this is where he belongs. It shouldn’t be a bad thing, but Jaemin can’t help but think it shouldn’t be this way. “No one wants damaged goods.” 

Jeno is hurt by Jaemin’s words, and they’re not even directed towards him. He doesn’t know why Jaemin would talk about himself in such a way, but he never wants to hear anything of these sorts come out of the younger’s mouth ever again. 

“You’re not damaged—”

“What am I then, Jeno?” Jaemin asks, voice louder and seeming to become more distressed. “I’m not an alpha, and I’m barely an omega!” 

“You are an omega Jaemin,” Jeno counters. He makes sure to keep looking into Jaemin’s eyes as he speaks. “You’re a beautiful omega. You’re smart, you’re athletic, you’re wonderful.”

“I can’t even have heats,” the younger one denies, shaking his head in Jeno’s hold. “Jeno, I can’t— I can’t even— I—” 

Jeno frowns again, stroking both his thumbs under both of Jaemin’s eyes this time. 

“Can’t what? Take your time Jaemin, breathe,” he says gently, growing a bit anxious at how Jaemin closes his eyes and takes a few lungfuls of air to calm himself down. 

When he looks back at him, his eyes are teary again, although none of them fall. 

“I can’t even make my own slick,” he whispers, letting out a disgruntled sound right after. “And I can’t have babies— Jeno, I can't give you your own puppies.”

Jeno’s breath catches in his throat, his delicate fingers bringing Jaemin’s head closer to him. The younger’s chest heaves a little with frustration, but Jeno isn’t paying any attention to that, replaying Jaemin’s words in his head. 

“You want puppies with me?” 

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Jaemin suddenly sobs, ripping Jeno out of his hazy thoughts. “I can’t have puppies.” 

Jeno realizes his poor choice of words as he watches tears run down Jaemin’s cheeks. They’re not as violent as when he was crying in the doctor’s office, but Jeno still hates to see it. 

“It doesn’t matter to me if you can’t have babies, Jaemin-ah,” Jeno coos, his thumbs wiping away at the tears that keep falling from the younger’s eyes. “Did you know that I love everything about you? Even all the things you don’t think are lovable?” 

“You’re just saying that,” Jaemin says, shaking his heads. He sniffles, thick and heavy, and Jeno reaches into the cup holder to pull out a tissue. He lets Jaemin blow his nose before he speaks again. “There’s nothing to love—”

“Everything,” Jeno interrupts. He looks Jaemin up and down, a soft smile coming onto his face right after. “There’s everything to love about you.” 

“Jeno,” Jaemin whispers, finally leaning into his touch after being stubborn for so long.

Finally, he succumbs to the comfort Jeno gives him, succumbs to the warmth from his hands, to the relaxing pheromones he exudes to his omega. 

“I want puppies.” 

Jeno’s heart breaks all over again in his chest, reaching over the center console and bringing Jaemin in for a hug. He lets the younger rest his face on his shoulders not caring about how his shirt will be snot stained. 

“One day, you’ll have puppies, Jaemin,” 

“M-My eggs,” Jaemin says weakly, no longer crying but sounding very defeated. “They’re all gone. They’re all bad after the medicines. Jeno I… 

“… I killed my babies.” 

Jeno holds Jaemin tighter, pressing a small kiss to his forehead. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Jeno mutters, despite not knowing what caused Jaemin to take those pills for so many years. He doesn’t think now is a good time to ask either. “Believe me, it wasn’t your fault.” 

“My puppies,” Jaemin whimpers, fingers clutching into Jeno’s t-shirt. “They’re gone.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jeno shudders, unable to comprehend the unimaginable pain Jaemin is going through. Not only as an omega, but as a teenage boy as well. “I’m so sorry, Nana.”

“Please don’t leave,” Jaemin begs, clutching onto Jeno tighter. “I’m sorry, I don’t want you to find someone else. I want you too Jeno, I just—” Jaemin’s breath hitches, and Jeno feels another wet patch soak itself into the thin fabric of his shirt. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to be an omega.”

“That’s okay Jaemin,” Jeno assures. “We can learn together, is that alright?” 

Jeno hears Jaemin let out another whimper before he answers. 

“Yes. Yes please Jeno, that’s alright.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeno pulls up to the front of Donghyuck and Jaemin’s building, stopping in front of the front doors and unlocking the car. 

Jaemin looks at him weird. 

“What?” Jeno confusedly asks. 

“Aren’t you… Aren't you gonna come in?”

Jeno blinks dumbly, three times, before formulating an answer. 

“Oh. Well I thought you’d maybe want to spend some alone time with your brothers,” he explains, thrumming his fingers on the steering wheel. Jaemin notices it as a nervous habit of Jeno’s. 

His point makes sense though, and Jaemin understands, but he’d rather have all the boys he holds closest to his heart with him right now. Besides, Jeno’s just as important as his brothers, and he wants him to know that he doesn’t have to step away from these things. 

“You too,” Jaemin mumbles, reaching over to hold Jeno’s hand in his. “Unless you have other things to do?” He also doesn’t want to make it sound like he’s not giving him a choice, of course, if he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have to stay. 

Immediately though, Jeno shakes his head. 

“No, no I don’t have anything else to do,” he assures, still looking at Jaemin with those wide eyes. Jaemin thinks it’s cute, but then again, a lot of things about Jeno are cute. “Are you sure about this?”

That’s just another beautiful thing about Jeno, he’s always cautious. 

He doesn’t want to ever overstep boundaries or step out of his lane. Jaemin appreciates the extra mindfulness, always. That’s a charm about Jeno he doesn’t find in a lot of other people, the need to know that everyone is comfortable around him at all times. 

Some would find it annoying, but Jaemin finds Jeno’s constant questions asking of assurance unique. 

And beautiful. 

But there were a lot of things about Jeno that were beautiful. 

“Yes, I’m sure,” Jaemin answers, leaning over the console a little and pressing a short and soft peck to Jeno’s lips. 

He’s sure he doesn’t look the best, the whites of his eyes probably red along with his nose, and his eyelashes clumped. His cheeks are also probably ruddy, and his skin is dry after all his salty tears have washed down them. 

However, when he pulls away and Jeno opens his eyes to look at him, the look in his eyes makes it seem like Jaemin is the only person on the planet. 

And that’s just another thing Jaemin knows he won’t be able to find with someone else. Just another thing that makes him realize and appreciate how one of a kind Jeno is. 

“Let’s go park,” Jaemin says softly, sending the older boy a tiny smile. He doesn’t feel the greatest, obviously, but he knows that once he’s upstairs in the presence of Jisung, Donghyuck and Jeno, things will feel a bit better. 

Wordlessly, Jeno complies, shifting back into gear and pulling over to the visitor’s parking lot.

Jeno makes quick work of parking, and they both exit the car soon after. Hand in hand, Jeno and Jaemin make their way to the lobby and ride up the elevator until they reach Jaemin and Donghyuck’s apartment. 

It’s quiet, but Jeno is right next to him, touching him, so it’s all okay. 

“What took you so long?” Donghyuck asks once they walk in. Jaemin sees him and Jisung sitting at the dining table, presumably doing nothing. That means that they were either occupying themselves by literally doing nothing, or they were talking. 

Judging by the circumstances, Jaemin guesses he’s the topic of discussion. 

“Took a wrong turn,” Jeno lies easily, for which Jaemin is grateful. He doesn’t like lying to Donghyuck, or Jisung for that matter, but what happened in the car can be saved for a late night talk with them instead of something to talk about right now. 

Besides, he’s grateful that conversation ended on a positive note. 

“Jisung and I were gonna order dinner,” Donghyuck explains, casting a look at Jaemin. “Had a feeling you wouldn’t be up to cook,” he adds. 

Jaemin nods his head in confirmation, that no, he isn’t in the mood to cook. 

“Right, so hyungs,” Jisung pipes in, waving his phone around. “Street food or sushi?” 

Everyone looks at Jaemin in sync, collectively waiting for his answer. He’d think it was weird that their dinner was dependent on him, but he also kind of expected it. 

“Sushi’s fine,” he mutters, tugging on Jeno’s hand and leading him to the couch. “Get whatever you’d like, okay? I eat anything,” he adds gently, plopping down onto the couch right after. He pulls on Jeno’s hand, leading him to sit down next to him. 

He’s not picky, and he’s glad for that, as it means that he can just trust Donghyuck to order enough food and lay his head on Jeno’s shoulder without doing anything else or worrying too much. 

A few minutes pass by, with Jaemin tuning in and out of listening to Jisung and Donghyuck argue over what to order, as well as Jeno throwing in some suggestions here and there. 

He’s not too interested anymore, so he closes his eyes and brings his and Jeno’s joined hands to his chest. 

He just likes the weight of them there, over his heart. 

“You said something,” he mutters after some time, eyes still closed and hands still motionless. 

“I say a lot of things,” Jeno entertains, humming. He leans his head onto Jaemin’s head, and tries to discreetly sniff his scent. 

He doesn’t know if Jaemin has a problem with Jeno smelling his scent, but Jeno can help it. He really likes the way Jaemin smells, the peaches sweet but not too sweet, and the Rosé elegant while also being tasteful. 

It’s so  _ Jaemin  _ that Jeno is already intoxicated, he could spend hours with his head buried in Jaemin’s neck. 

“Jeno,” Jaemin whines, and Jeno only chuckles to let Jaemin know to continue. “Something in the car…”

“Nana, babe, you’re gonna have to be a bit more specific,” Jeno drawls.

Jeno feels Jaemin squeeze his hand a bit tighter before speaking. 

“You said you loved everything about me…” He explains softly, eyes still closed. Jeno doesn’t think he’s going to open them. “You love me?” 

Jeno feels heat immediately rush to his cheeks at Jaemin’s question, suddenly glad Jaemin isn’t looking at him. 

He knows the answer, he knows the answer very well, but he’s a bit afraid of Jaemin’s reaction. They haven’t been talking much about the progression of their relationship, or things like that, simply knowing that they each enjoy their time spent together. 

But Jaemin hasn’t said much explicitly like Jeno has, but he respects that. To each their own he guesses, but that also leads him to feel a bit vulnerable when he’s put on the spot, like right now. 

He understands that sometimes, most of the time with Jaemin, he’ll need to take the lead and initiate the deeper parts of their relationship, but he doesn’t mind that. As long as in some way, he knows that he isn’t alone in how deep he’s fallen. 

Jaemin shows it in other ways, but with the events of the last few days, he doesn’t want to overwhelm Jaemin even more with his answer. 

Jeno wants Jaemin to know, of course he does, but he doesn't know if he’s okay enough to.

But then again, that’s not Jeno’s decision to make for Jaemin. All he can do is answer Jaemin’s question and respect his want to know the answer. 

“I do,” he says quietly, pressing the lightest kiss onto Jaemin’s head. “I love you, Jaemin.” 

Jeno hears Jaemin move before he sees it, both the younger’s hands coming up to cup his face. 

Jaemin doesn’t say anything for a long time, simply traces his eyes over Jeno’s every feature. From his eyes to his nose, down to his chin and back around to his eyes. 

Jaemin  _ really  _ likes Jeno’s eyes. 

“Jeno-ya,” he finally mutters, running his knuckles down the older boy’s cheek. If Jeno looks close enough, he could call the look in his eyes  _ adoring _ , but he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself and make assumptions. 

But then, Jaemin whispers,

“I do too,” 

A giddy feeling swoops into his stomach, but Jaemin must see the little bit of confusion which Jeno lets onto his face accidentally, as he frowns a little. 

“I’m sorry,” he starts, but Jeno is quick to cut him off. 

“Stop apologizing,” Jeno chastises. 

“I just… Never loved someone before? Donghyuck and Jisung don't count. I know I do… You  _ know  _ about you, but I’m… I’m scared of saying it,” Jaemin explains as he looks away guiltily. “I’m sorry.”

Jeno takes a second to soak in Jaemin’s words, trying his best to process them properly. 

He understands, he always understands when it comes to Jaemin, and he’s glad that Jaemin is comfortable enough to be honest with him. 

“Don’t be sorry,” Jeno says gently, ruffling Jaemin’s hair in order to ease the heavy atmosphere. He doesn’t want this to become another thing on Jaemin’s mind, on top of everything else. Their relationship shouldn’t be something burdensome, and Jeno won’t let it become that. “Knowing is enough, Jaeminnie.”

“You’re too good to me,” Jaemin mutters, bringing their still joined hands up to his lips. He kisses Jeno’s knuckles for three long seconds, looking at Jeno with a tiny smile and gentle eyes. “I’m happy you’re with me.” 

Jeno feels his chest swell, mimicking Jaemin’s smile, except his smile is bigger and brighter. 

“I’m happy you’re with me too.”

Jisung and Donghyuck crash the conversation after that, throwing themselves onto the other couch and wrestling each other for the television remote. It reminds Jaemin of how much they were at each other’s throats when they were all living at home, and it makes a bittersweet feeling simmer in his stomach. 

Sure, some of his best memories with his brothers, and as a family, were when he was living at home. He got to see Donghyuck and Jisung everyday, and he fell in love with the relationship they had. 

Letting go of that bond and relationship was the hardest thing to do, but he’s lucky he still gets to see Jisung as much as he does. He’s also lucky that they’re all as close as they are, proving that they’re all brothers by choice, and not blood. 

And to Jaemin, that’s something beautiful. Because no one forced their relationship onto them, nor did they fall under a pretense or have to live up to a title. They all created their relationship from the ground up, and Jaemin will always be grateful. 

It’s almost the same thing with Jeno, building their relationship from the ground up. Jaemin wouldn’t say that he wasn’t sure of his feelings for him, he’s sure he loves Jeno too. Hell, he  _ knows  _ he’s in love with the older boy. 

The only thing holding him back is verbalizing his feelings, afraid of the reality that falls with it. 

The last time Jaemin trusted someone, or multiple people, wholeheartedly with his love, two out of five of those people put him three different types of medication which ended up killing all of the reproductive eggs in his system. 

Because of them, Jaemin can’t have his own children. He thinks that’s his parents’ cruel way of making him fall under another alpha trait; not being able to bear kids. 

And it hurts Jaemin, to know that the people he used to hold close to his heart would go to these extents to mold him the way they wanted, but he knows he has to let it stop affecting him. 

It won’t be easy, but it’s not good for him to constantly think about it either. 

“Dude, those are my ribs!” Jisung shrieks, protectively wrapping his arms around his torso. “Are you trying to kill me or something?” 

“Hand over the fucking remote, Park,” Donghyuck grunts, shoving his hand in the space between Jisung’s thigh and the armrest of the couch. Jaemin doesn’t even want to think about how many crumbs Donghyuck’s fingers come into contact with with his hand there, so he cringes before looking away. 

“Jesus, I sure didn’t miss sharing a living room with you,” Jisung spits when Donghyuck manages to wedge the remote out of between Jisung’s body and the couch. 

“Right back fucking at you,” 

And then Donghyuck sits back against the couch, surfing through different channels before settling on the food channel. 

“Are you serious?” Jisung groans, and Jaemin is only now picking up on how much he and Donghyuck truly bicker. “Right when we’re waiting for food?” 

Donghyuck says something to pick another fight with Jisung, so Jaemin tunes them out again. 

Oddly enough, the familiarity and simplicity of how natural everyone is acting already makes him feel better. He didn’t think Donghyuck’s nasally voice and Jisung’s high pitched whines would bring him comfort, but it does. 

Maybe it was the simple things which calm him down, because despite the devastating news he received a mere few hours ago, his grossly large secret that was discovered a mere few days ago, he’s comfortable now. 

Around Donghyuck, Jisung and Jeno, he’s comfortable. 

Satisfied enough, Jaemin turns to Jeno again.

“Wake me up when the food is here?” 

“Of course,” Jeno answers without missing a beat. 

Jaemin thinks he’s going to melt. 

  
  
  


The food arrives sooner than Jaemin would’ve liked, appreciative for the quietness and peacefulness sleeping brought him. 

But his stomach also growls at the sight of the sushi platters Jeno and Jisung are setting up on the coffee table, so he’s not all too mad at being woken up. 

“You guys ordered so much,” he comments, thanking Donghyuck as he takes the pair of outstretched chopsticks from him. “Who paid? I’ll e-transfer you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jisung waves off, throwing a pair of chopsticks to Jeno. 

Jaemin takes note of how Jisung is already so comfortable with Jeno, treating the latter like a brother too. 

He likes watching that, and a soft smile comes onto his face at their interaction. 

Jeno is nothing but fond of Jisung, ruffling the younger’s hair as a nonverbal thanks for the chopsticks. 

Looking at the three of them huddled around the coffee table, Jaemin can’t help but think that Jeno fits right in.

His natural banter which comes out around Donghyuck, always bouncing jokes off of each other, and his natural fondness and adoration which comes out around Jisung. 

It’s like Jeno was meant to be with all of them. 

And that warms Jaemin’s heart more than anything else. 

And also maybe the way Jeno places the pieces of tuna sushi in front of him, knowing that those were Jaemin’s favourite. 

“Thanks,” he says gratefully, sending Jeno a smile. It’s brighter than the ones he was giving him before, and he’d like to owe it to the lovely atmosphere Donghyuck, Jisung and Jeno have created for all of them. 

They all proceed to eat with small conversation, and Jaemin engages here and there when he feels necessary. 

Donghyuck is in the midst of narrating a story when Jaemin’s phone buzzes with an incoming call. 

He spares it a glance, not really intending to answer it, but then he catches the contact name, and his blood runs cold. 

“Jisungie,” he calls, disrupting the conversations and catching everyone’s attention. 

All three boys look at him curiously, eyes slowly trailing down to where Jaemin is staring; at his buzzing phone. 

“Yeah?” The youngest answers carefully. 

“Answer the phone for me. Tell them I’m napping,” Jaemin says quickly, all but throwing his phone at Jisung across the coffee table. 

Jaemin should’ve known it was a bad idea, they don’t call him ‘poop hands’ for nothing. Jisung’s hands scramble to catch his phone, and eventually his fingers clasp around the device. 

“What?” He asks, confused, and rightfully so. 

But Jaemin doesn’t have the time to explain right now, so he just urges Jisung to follow his instructions with a desperate look. 

Thankfully, Jisung only sends him a weary look before sliding to answer the phone call.

“Hi mom,” he greets, still looking at Jaemin weirdly. “Yeah, we just started to eat dinner. No, Donghyuck isn’t hogging everything.”

“Hey!” Donghyuck offendedly gasps, but no one pays him much mind. 

“Jaemin hyung?” Jisung looks at Jaemin nervously, to which Jaemin only urges him to use the excuse he had given. Thankfully, Jisung doesn’t put up a fight. “Hyung’s taking a nap right now.” 

Jaemin feels his body able to relax after that, melting into the couch behind him. 

He doesn’t really listen to the rest of the conversation they have, and he ignores the way Donghyuck and Jeno look at him concernedly. 

Jisung finally hangs up a few minutes later, and now Jaemin feels more so than sees three pairs of eyes staring at him, as if waiting for an explanation.

And he knows they are. 

He just doesn’t know where to start. 

Or if he should even start. 

“What was that about?” Donghyuck asks with a cocked eyebrow, tilting his head to one side. “Did you and mom get into a fight?”

Jaemin has to remember that Donghyuck and Jisung have a good relationship with their parents, and that their parents didn’t make them take three different medications to form them into the boys they are today. 

Donghyuck and Jisung are naturally alphas. 

They didn’t need to be built into who they are. 

Jaemin has to also remember that he’d feel an immense amount of guilt for being the reason why Donghyuck and Jisung’s relationship with their parents suddenly falls through. It’s not his place to dictate their views on their parents, so he settles on answering the only way he can. 

“Yeah, just a little fight. It’ll blow over soon.” 

“You’re gonna make me sleep with Hyuck hyung? He snores in his sleep!”

“Well, I’m not gonna let you sleep on the couch,” Jaemin coos, ruffling Jisung’s hair to cheer him up a bit. He sees Jisung open his mouth to say something, and decides to beat him to it. “I’m also not gonna let Jeno sleep on the couch.”

Jisung only glares at him. 

“You like Jeno hyung more than me,” he complains, following Donghyuck out of the living room and down the hallway to his bedroom. 

“Took you long enough to figure it out,” Jeno teases, sticking his tongue out childishly when Jisung flips him off. 

Watching Donghyuck and Jisung leave down the hallway leaves Jeno and Jaemin together in the living room. 

“Do you wanna watch a movie now that they’re gone?” Jaemin asks, turning back to Jeno with a hopeful look. 

Jeno agrees that it would be nice to spend some time with Jaemin before they go to bed, so he nods his head and lets Jaemin pull him to the couch again. 

They settle comfortably, side by side and wrapped in a long grey blanket. Naturally, Jeno’s arm comes around Jaemin’s shoulder, keeping him close while the younger chooses a movie to watch. 

He bounces different titles off of Jeno, but seeing as he doesn’t really care, he just hums to whatever and lets Jaemin pick what they’re going to watch. 

He finally settles on an old movie, something released years ago that Jeno doesn’t remember watching. All he remembers is that Mark had watched it, and then proceeded to complain about it for the next few days. 

“Nana, this is so old,” he points out, earning nothing but a dismissive wave of the hand from the younger. “It’s probably boring too.”

“It’s not boring,” Jaemin gasps, almost as if he were scandalized. Jeno doesn’t know why he sounds so protective, but he lets it go. “Read the description!” He insists, pulling up the summary on Netflix. 

Jeno has to squint to be able to read it, the letters small and his eyesight bad. He’s too lazy to reach over to where his glasses lay on the coffee table, so he just skims the summary briefly. Based on what he’s able to pick up on, he still deems the movie boring.

“It still seems—”

But then Jaemin cuts him off by pressing play, so all Jeno can do is let out a defeated sigh. He seems to let Jaemin win all of the time now, and he mentally evaluates his decisions. 

He still focuses on the movie though, tries his best to pay attention to what’s happening on the screen. 

The actors are all monotone and the background music is extremely slow. Jeno wonders how the two of them are even managing to stay awake, but he holds on if only for Jaemin’s sake.

Jaemin likes to talk about movies right after watching them, so he needs to know at least that much to appease the younger. 

There’s leftover snacks on the coffee table that no one has bothered to clean up, which Jaemin leans forward to pick up. He holds a bag of sour gummy worms in his hand, offering it to Jeno. 

Gratefully, because sugar is quite possibly the only thing that’ll keep him awake, Jeno takes a handful before giving the bag back to Jaemin. 

They continue to eat candies while the movie plays, and Jeno is finding it very hard to keep his eyes open. He wanted to at least try, for Jaemin, but this seems to be the first thing he can’t do for him. 

The movie is painfully boring. 

Just as he’s about to succumb to how heavy his eyelids feel and let them fall shut, there’s a sudden weight on his shoulder. 

Jeno looks down, just to see Jaemin already looking back up at him. His lips are stained the lightest shade of blue from the candy, but other than that, he looks just as bored as Jeno himself. 

Jeno knows what’s about to come out of Jaemin’s mouth before the latter even parts his lips, and internally cheers for being right. 

“Jeno-ya,” he starts, using the cute voice that he knows Jeno won’t admit he likes. He also bats his eyelashes so that Jeno will have no choice but to be wrapped around his finger, and pushes his lips out into a tiny pout just to twist the knife. “This movie is boring.”

And Jeno would’ve been annoyed at anyone else, but Jaemin isn’t anyone else, and Jaemin is also looking at him like  _ that _ , so realistically, what is he expected to do? 

“I told you,” he sighs, flicking Jaemin’s forehead lightly, just for being annoying. “Mark’s watched this movie before and said it was a bore,” he explains as Jaemin lowers the volume on the television. He doesn’t know why he even bothers to keep it on, but he guesses it’s more so white noise than anything else. 

“You could’ve told me that,” Jaemin complains, tossing the remote away. He turns to face Jeno completely, adjusting the blanket on their bodies and moving the empty candy bags away. 

“I did,” Jeno deadpans, scoffing when Jaemin has the audacity to look embarrassed. 

“Not with a reliable source,” he complains, leaning one side of his head onto the back cushions of the couch.

“Since when is Mark a reliable source?”

“Since he’s the one who watched the movie and not one of us.”

“Jaemin—”

“Jeno.”

The both of them look at each other in the eyes after that, bursting into tiny giggles right after at the ridiculousness of their conversation. 

When their laughter dies down, Jaemin’s eyes catch the time on the clock behind Jeno’s head. 

“It’s getting a bit late,” he comments, looking back at Jeno, who has on that easy going smile which never seems to leave his face. Jaemin sometimes finds himself wondering if Jeno is ever not smiling, seeing as even his neutral expressions have the corners of his lips curled upwards. “Did you wanna go to sleep now?”

Jeno on the other hand, wasn’t really listening to what Jaemin was saying, too focused on the way his lips move around each syllable he speaks. 

Jaemin’s pretty lips, that’re just a little fuller than his own. Then his eyes lead him to look at Jaemin’s little nose, cute in the center of his face. His eyes move up to Jaemin’s eyes, sparkly but a little tired as he speaks. He’s glad the whites aren’t red anymore, Jaemin didn’t deserve to cry anymore. 

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying?” 

Jaemin’s voice, which is also rather lovely, breaks Jeno out of his thoughts. Jaemin is looking at him expectantly, and Jeno would feel bad about not listening to him, but then they lock eye contact, and everything in the air between them shifts. 

Wordlessly, because nothing needs to be said with the mutual understanding passing through them, Jeno leans forward and catches Jaemin’s lips in a soft kiss. 

Jaemin kisses back eagerly, pushing more into Jeno as the latter feels his weight on the couch shift. 

Before Jeno can even think of making a move himself, one of Jaemin’s hands guides his own to the younger’s wasit, silently urging Jeno to hold him there. Jeno obeys, and then Jaemin wraps his own hands around his neck, pushing more of his upper weight onto Jeno’s body. 

As a result, Jeno finds himself falling back a bit, his back meeting the armrest of the couch. 

“Wait,” Jeno pants, pulling away to put just enough distance between their faces. 

Jaemin looks at him a bit confusedly, a bit out of breath, but still wholly adoringly. And Jeno doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to get that sight out of his head even if he wanted to. 

Good thing he doesn’t want to. 

“What’s wrong?” Jaemin asks, making his way to put more space between them if Jeno needed it. But the older boy only tightens his hands on Jaemin’s waist and brings him closer instead, watching amusedly as Jaemin’s eyes widen a bit. 

“Jaemin,” he starts, tone gentle, like it always is when he talks about something serious. 

That alone is enough to worry Jaemin, feeling the familiar knot of anxiety in his stomach continue to tangle in on itself as he waits for Jeno to continue talking. 

He doesn’t know what’s something serious they could be talking about right now, but given the day’s events, he isn’t too clueless. 

But they’ve been going a few hours without talking about it, and Jaemin would like to keep it that way. 

“I know you’re lying,”

Jaemin is completely taken aback by what Jeno says, even more so because he says it with the softest smile on his face and the gentlest hands on his body. 

He’s so confused by the juxtaposition between Jeno’s words versus his actions, that he doesn’t even find it in himself to question what Jeno thinks he’s lying about. But Jeno takes that as an invitation to keep talking. 

“When you said you got into an argument with your mom,” he continues, and now when Jaemin finally registers his words, he feels his blood run ice cold. 

There shouldn’t be a way that Jeno knows this, it’s not like he tells him anything about his home life like that. He was pretty sure his reaction wasn’t even that out of the ordinary for someone who was supposedly arguing with their mom. 

But Jeno seems to have been able to look past that, and now he wonders if he’s simply a bad liar, or if Jeno is more attuned to his mannerisms than he thought. 

“I didn’t,” Jaemin still tries to deny, but he knows it’s a lost cause. 

Jeno only raises an eyebrow at him, clearly not believing him. 

“Nana, one thing I want to clear up before anything else,” he states. “Is that I want you to know that you don’t have to hide anything from me,  _ ever _ . If you need to tell someone, if you need to get something off of your chest, I’m always going to be right here, and judgement free. I’ll listen when you want me to and I’ll speak when you want me to.”

Jaemin feels a little overwhelmed as he soaks in Jeno’s words, finding them just a little too good to be true. 

Ever since he presented, his parents have taught him that alphas don’t get too emotional and that they don’t let their feelings get the better of them. Jaemin didn’t agree with those ideas, but he’s learned to keep things to himself and not let them affect him, if only to appease his parents and give them the image of a perfect alpha. 

This has dragged on though, and it’s not something conscious anymore. Now, it’s instinctual and habitual to keep things to himself and not let anyone know he’s having a hard time. 

But just like all the wrongs which have seemed to embed themselves into Jaemin’s life, Jeno seems to want to pull them out and replace them with the rights. 

“Do you understand?” Jeno asks once a minute or so of silence passes by. “I want to be there for you, Jaemin.”

Again, Jeno’s words seem so simple, yet they promise so much. They seem so simple, yet they hold so much. 

And despite all of that, Jaemin finds himself nodding his head. 

“Okay,” he says quietly, not bothering to comment on what brought this conversation up in the first place. 

“Regarding your mom…” 

Jeno looks contemplative, like he wanted to choose his words carefully. And he does, he doesn’t want to say anything disrespectful. This is Jaemin’s mom, after all, and all he’s doing is assuming something between them. He doesn’t have a right, no, but he does have a concern, and it’s better to clear those up before misunderstandings can take place. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Jeno assures, smiling softly at the younger, who’s looking at him with wide eyes as he waits for him to continue. “But just tell me if I’m right about it, not just being an argument. Am I right, Jaemin?” 

Jaemin wonders if he could ever even call the conversation which made him start taking all those pills, an argument. At the young age of thirteen, he didn’t put up much fight, though he wonders what would’ve happened if he did. 

Maybe he’d been kicked to the streets.

Maybe he’d have a completely different family. 

Maybe he’d be able to freely live as an omega and love that part of him. 

It’s crazy, how one thing can decide so many things for you in life. 

But instead, Jaemin focuses on answering Jeno’s question.

“It…” 

Jaemin takes one look at Jeno’s gentle and assuring eyes, and although he’s nowhere near ready to unload the truth, he finds a promise in those eyes. A promise, a home, and a sense of comfort. 

Nothing could go wrong, with trusting Jeno. 

“… Wasn’t just an argument, no.”

And Jeno doesn’t push it, because for now, that answer is more than enough. It qwells his need to know, and it also doesn’t push Jaemin’s boundaries. 

“I’m going to let you know right now, that your simple answers won’t always be enough,” Jeno says firmly, but gently. He wants Jaemin to know he’s serious. “There’s going to be a time where my concern will bubble over your cryptic answers, I’m letting you know that, because it will happen. But I won’t ever force you to tell me anything, Jaemin. I love you.”

Jaemin’s heart is beating so fast in his chest that it’s borderline distracting, and he seriously wonders if it’ll leave his rib cage bruised. 

But that was a concern for another time, because right now, his only concern is how he’s going to pay Jeno back for giving him the world when he never even asked for it. He doesn’t know if anything he’ll ever do will be enough. 

“Thank you Jeno,” is what he settles on whispering for now, pressing a tender kiss to the older boy’s forehead. 

He feels like Jeno is too gracious, but he’s also one of a kind.

He feels like Jeno is too nice for the world, but he’s also always only known how to treat people with kindness. 

He feels like Jeno is too good for him, but he’s also sitting in his apartment, on his couch. 

So he guesses that at one point, it stops mattering what he thinks, and it becomes more important what Jeno wants. 

Because Jaemin could list off a million reasons towards why he thinks Jeno deserves better. 

But that list doesn’t matter when he can’t change what Jeno wants. 

So when he looks into the other’s eyes again, and sees nothing but the warmest thing he’s ever known, he knows he’ll always want Jeno just as much. 

  
  
  


Breakfast isn’t Jisung’s forte, granted, nothing in the kitchen is Jisung’s forte, but breakfast specifically.

It’s a problem especially this morning, because he’s the first person awake and he’s starving. 

That’s the only downfall of spending nights at Donghyuck and Jaemin’s apartment, having to be the first one to wake up. 

Donghyuck was dead to the world when he got out of bed, and his only other options were Jeno and Jaemin. He’d risk walking into Jaemin’s room, but decides against it when it occurs to him that he could potentially see a lot more than he bargained for. 

And plus, Jaemin’s scent is extremely potent when he walks by, only further convincing him to stay away from his door. 

Thankfully though, Jaemin keeps three different kinds of Jisung’s favourite cereals in the snack cupboard for times like these, so Jisung wouldn’t have to starve before waiting for someone to make him food. 

Gratefully, and a bit excited for his sugary breakfast, Jisung grabs a large bowl and an equally large spoon before making his way to the cereal boxes. Jaemin always buys him the stuff that’s packed with sugar and other things which are definitely not healthy for breakfast, and Jisung is glad, seeing as breakfast at home was always something healthy. 

He pours his cereal into the bowl before pouring his milk, and then takes his bowl to the table and gratefully starts eating spoonful after spoonful. 

He admits, it’s a bit weird to be eating alone after always eating with people at the table with him, but he understands that they stayed up quite late yesterday. Plus, everyone else in the apartment apart from him was old, so he has some sympathy for them and their age. 

Jisung is a spoonful away from finishing his breakfast when Donghyuck comes stumbling into the kitchen, a hand over his face and looking awfully disoriented. 

Jisung would care more if Donghyuck hadn’t been snoring all night. 

“Do you smell that?” The older boy asks as he takes a hasty seat across from Jisung. His hand is still over his nose, looking confused. “I thought maybe it would have been another one of your failed attempts at cooking—”

“Hey!”

“—But then it became sweeter,” Donghyuck finishes, without paying any mind to Jisung’s offended outburst. “It smells like Jaemin. Do you not smell it?”

Jisung briefly thinks back to how he thought Jaemin’s scent was strong when he was walking by his room, and as he tries to pick out Jaemin’s scent right now, it smacks him right in the face.

“Whoa— Holy shit,” Jisung says, bringing up one of his own hands to cover his nose. “Jesus, why is it so strong?” He asks, to which Donghyuck only shrugs his shoulders. 

Jaemin’s scent seems to bleed through the entire apartment, heavy and strong, peaches and Rosé. It’s almost unbearably sweet, thick with sugar. There’s nothing but the pure, overpowering smell, so Jisung and Donghyuck are at a loss towards why it was so potent.

Just as Jisung is about to ask if they should check up on him, another door creaks open, and Jeno comes out of the room looking a bit frantic. He looks down the hall to Donghyuck’s open bedroom door, before turning around at spotting them. 

“Oh thank God you guys are awake,” Jeno sighs gratefully, walking up to them at the table. “You need to come with me. Jaemin is in heat.” 

Jisung furrows his eyebrows at that, while Donghyuck immediately lets out a sound somewhere between confusion and apprehension. 

“So? What would we do there? Shouldn’t you be there to…  _ You know _ …” Donghyuck trails off, nudging his head towards Jaemin’s bedroom.

It takes Jeno a minute to understand what he means, and once he finally does, he flushes red. 

“Oh my God— His heats aren’t like that yet, remember?” 

Jeno’s question prompts Jisung and Donghyuck to both bring themselves back to yesterday, when Jaemin has been carefully explaining everything he had learned from the doctor. 

_ “My heats… Aren’t going to be  _ actual _ heats for a while… Since my body suppressed all the heats it was supposed to have for years, it’ll take a few cycles for my somewhat fully developed body to get used to them. For now, they’ll be like preheats, but more… Intense, I guess? I’ve never really had a heat or a preheat…” _

At the same time, Donghyuck and Jisung’s eyes widen, looking back at Jeno worriedly. 

“How is he? Is he awake? Is he in pain?” Jisung bombards, already standing up from his seat. Donghyuck picks up the bowl he would’ve left behind, about to scold Jisung for it, but then Jeno answers Jisung’s questions. 

“He’s awake, but he seems… Miserable,” he says upsettingly. “And I don’t know what to do, I’ve never taken care of an omega in heat before,” he admits, scratching the back of his head. “Plus, he wanted both of you there.”

“But it’s not like we know how to take care of an omega in heat,” Donghyuck splutters, wondering what was going through Jaemin’s brain, since he already knew this as well. 

“Yeah but we can all learn together?” Jeno suggests. “Jaemin wants us all with him, and we have to remember that he’s never done this either,” he reminds them, to which Donghyuck and Jisung both nod slowly. “So… Let’s go learn?” 

All three boys look at each other with assurance before making their way to Jaemin’s bedroom, clueless towards what they’ve signed themselves up for. 

The only thing they three of them were sure of was that Jaemin wanted them there with him, so all they could do is abide and help him in any way they could. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The first thing that hits the three of them, again, is how strong Jaemin’s scent is, especially in the confinements of his bedroom. 

Immediately, Donghyuck makes way to open the window a bit, hoping to start circulating the fresh air in. 

Jeno sees Jisung take a tentative step towards where Jaemin is curled out in a ball on one side of his bed, letting out sounds which like little painful whimpers. 

Jisung immediately feels bad, seeing as this was his big brother. Although he knows that Jaemin’s pain isn’t his fault, he doesn’t like knowing he’s hurting. Much less when he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

“Hyung?” He calls quietly, belatedly realizing it’s just him and Jaemin in the room. He doesn’t know where Donghyuck and Jeno went, but by the sounds of the kitchen cabinets opening and closing, he can only assume they’re getting snacks. He’s heard somewhere that it’s best to keep water and food within close proximity for omegas in heat. 

“Hm? Jisungie?” Jaemin groans, shifting the blanket down just enough for Jisung to make out Jaemin’s eyes. He wonders if his brother is hot under the blanket, it was called a heat for a reason. 

“Aren’t you hot hyung? Do you want to turn the air conditioning on?” He asks, already making his way to the thermostat. 

“No, no, don’t do that,” Jaemin protests, albeit weakly, but he sounds as frantic as he could. “Sometimes it’s cold, sometimes it’s hot. I dunno why,” he explains, sounding just as miserable as Jeno had said. “Can you just come lay with me?” 

Jisung complies, he can do that much, and lays next to Jaemin in the way too hot sheets. Jaemin looks like he’s shivering though, and his natural instinct is to wrap him up in a hug. 

So he does just that. 

Jaemin’s scent is becoming more and more bearable as the time passes, but he seems dead to the world besides the occasional uncomfortable grunt and shifting around to try and ease whatever pain he was feeling. 

“Are you okay?” Jisung asks concernedly after a while, gnawing on his bottom lip as Jaemin’s face scrunches up in what he can only assume is pain. 

“No,” Jaemin answers honestly, seeing no point in lying right now. He admits that Jisung’s sage and lemon scent is helping, it calms him down a bit and makes him feel safe, but that does nothing to ease the ache in his muscles and his fluctuating body temperatures. 

“Can you tell me where it hurts?” 

Jisung asks more for his own curiosity, he doesn’t understand the details of how heats work, nonetheless of how Jaemin’s work, but he also thinks talking about it might help Jaemin realize what he needs to ask for. 

“Everywhere?” Jaemin grumbles, a bit annoyed at Jisung’s question. He gets that the younger is trying to understand, and he appreciates it. But closer to the surface, he feels like it’s a stupid question. For Jisung however, he pushes that thought away and tries to answer to the best of his abilities. “My stomach. Feels like it’s rolling. My head hurts, sometimes it’s too hot and sometimes it’s too cold. My hips ache, my chest aches, I feel like there’s a fire inside of me,” he explains, burying himself deeper into the blankets. “But then it gets really cold.” 

Jisung frowns, not liking the sound of everything Jaemin is going through. He knows it’ll pass, because it’ll only last a few days and because Jaemin’s heat won’t be like this after a few cycles, but he still doesn’t like it. 

For years, Jaemin has put up the front of an alpha who never gets hurt, and never shows that they’re vulnerable. 

But right now, laying miserably in his arms, Jisung realizes that for Jaemin, this is just as foreign. 

“It’s because your preheat symptoms are amplified,” comes Jeno’s voice, accompanied by Donghyuck as the two of them make their way back inside the bedroom. Their arms are full of snacks like Jisung predicated, as well as water bottles and juice boxes. “Your preheats won’t always be like this, and neither will your heats.”

“Okay, Mr. Doctor,” Jaemin snaps, but Jeno knows it’s good naturedly, so he just ruffles the younger’s hair gently so as to not aggravate his headache. 

Jeno notes that Donghyuck cracking open the window has helped a bit, the fresh air filtering in doing a good job at wafting Jaemin’s scent out and keeping it at a bearable amount. 

Nonetheless, there’s not much more they can do, at a loss of knowledge. 

“Alright babe, I need you to sit up a little,” Jeno hums, hands on Jaemin’s shoulders to help him detangle himself from Jisung. “You need to eat something.”

Jaemin groans, expectedly, but feels boneless, too weak to even protest. He lets Jeno pull him up into a sitting position, back straight against the headboard.

“What would you like for breakfast? We have everything from the kitchen,” Donghyuck asks, shaking a box of granola bars and a box of Jisung’s cereal for emphasis. 

“I’m not hungry,” Jaemin mumbles, head dipped down with the sheer weight of it. 

“Understandable,” Jeno pipes in, sifting through some more of the stuff they brought. “I would say you don’t have to eat if you don’t want to, but food will help a little with the cramps. Your stomach is cramping, isn’t it?” He asks, although it seems like he already knows the answer. 

Jaemin only nods, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s arm, and lays his head down on his shoulder just to keep his comforting presence and scent close. Jisung has a different kind of comfort to him, something like coming home to your warm blankets and comfy bed at the end of a long day. 

“Choose something, or I’ll make you eat Jisung’s sugar in a bowl,” Donghyuck threatens goodheartedly, referring to a certain cereal box that Jaemin dislikes immensely. The only reason he has it is for Jisung. 

“No, don’t do that,” Jaemin protests, lazily looking over all the options he has. He’s impressed by the fact that Jeno and Donghyuck had managed to bring this much food in, and makes a mental note to thank them when he feels better. “I’ll just have a granola bar,” he finally settles on. 

Donghyuck passes him one, which he slowly unwraps and manages to eat despite the nauseous feeling trying to crawl up his throat. 

Jeno’s right though, the nausea, as well as the cramps, do pass after he finishes the bar, as well as gets some water in his system. He’s glad that there’s at least someone with a bit of medical knowledge here, at least they’re not completely helpless. Though he doubts Jeno’s textbooks talk about his specific case, he's appreciative of Jeno trying. 

“Did you eat yet?” Jaemin asks Jisung, who nods. “You two can go have breakfast,” he says to Jeno and Donghyuck. He sees the two of them open their mouths to protest, but Jaemin speaks again before they can. “It’s okay. Jisung is here,” he assures them gently, nodding with a small smile on his face for reassurance. 

The two boys relent, leaving Jaemin’s room with the door ajar behind them. 

It’s quieter now that it’s just Jaemin and Jisung, and the former uses that to his advantage by letting his eyes fall shut. Not only does Jisung radiate ‘comfortable bed’ energy, but paired with the low hum of nothing around them, Jaemin feels sleep calling to his system. 

“Can you get the heating bag?” He mumbles to Jisung, who just barely makes out what Jaemin asks. “It’s in my closet in a blue box.”

Jisung carefully makes his way out of bed, following Jaemin’s instructions and finding the blue box on the floor of the closet. 

His closet is cleaner than Donghyuck’s closet, where he had to sift through piles and mountains of clothes to find something to sleep in last night. Jaemin’s closet is tamed compared to Donghyuck’s in that sense, but then again, he sees that half the things in there aren’t even Jaemin’s. 

If the bigger size wasn’t a give away, then it was definitely the faint scent coming from the clothes. 

They smell like Jeno, and Jisung finds himself wondering how much of Jaemin’s clothes are in Jeno’s closet. 

Nonetheless, he fishes the heating bag from the box, plugging it into an outlet near the bed. 

Jaemin places it on his abdomen, seeming to melt a little as the warmth spreads through his body and relaxes his muscles. 

“Aren’t you hot?” Jisung finds himself asking again, growing a bit concerned at the sheen of sweat which cakes itself onto Jaemin’s skin. 

“I’m cold,” Jaemin answers, eyes already closed as his hands blindly search for Jisung. “Come cuddle, we can take a nap,” he says. 

Jisung knows he won’t be sleeping, but he still lets Jaemin wind his arms around his middle and hold him close, patting a steady rhythm on the older’s back. He feels as though Jaemin is using him as a teddy bear, but he guesses it’s better than Jaemin being awake and having to be conscious enough to feel whatever pain he’s going through. 

Jaemin’s body feels like a furnace next to him, so he wonders how on Earth Jaemin says he feels cold. He guesses it's a side effect of his body adjusting to his heats for now, and only hopes Jaemin won’t have to go through this more times than necessary. 

Jeno and Donghyuck come back into the room quietly after they’re done eating, taking extra care to be light with their footsteps when they notice Jaemin asleep again. 

“It’s probably for the best,” Jeno sighs as he takes a seat on Jaemin’s desk chair. Donghyuck settles himself on the edge of Jaemin’s bed as he waits for Jeno to continue. “He’ll be in pain and distress whenever he’s awake, so sleeping it off seems best,” he explains. 

“Jeez, Mr. Doctor,” Donghyuck teases. “Why are you even studying at this point?”

Jeno rolls his eyes, spinning around slowly in Jaemin’s chair. 

“It’s interesting, sadly,” Jeno admits, casting Jaemin a short look with a tiny quirked smile. “They don’t teach you this stuff in school, or how to take care of it,” he continues. “It’s best to learn things hands on.”

“Do you know the psychology behind it?”

“What?” Jeno asks, taken aback by Jisung’s question. 

“Like, do you know why someone would take suppressants for so long?” He explains, vaguely gesturing to the passed out Jaemin, who’s now snoring lightly. “I doubt hyung didn’t know about the side effects.”

Jeno takes a moment to think about it. He isn’t studying psychology or philosophy, so he doesn’t really know how to nitpick someone’s decisions and thoughts. But he is a person, so he can make a guess on why Jaemin has been taking heat suppressants for as long as he had. 

“Coercion,” he says first, wincing a bit at how hard both Jisung and Donghyuck’s faces get at the mere mention. “An insecurity, maybe something internalized? He  _ did  _ keep insisting on not wanting to be an omega…”

As Jeno trails off, he finds himself staring at Jaemin.

It truly didn’t matter that he was an omega. It shouldn’t matter what he is at all, and Jeno wishes Jaemin could see it the way he does. Even the way Jisung and Donghyuck do. But he knows that whatever convinced Jaemin to think the way he did won’t go away just because three people told him that it isn’t a big deal. 

For all they know, it could be the equivalent of trauma, or trauma itself, that made Jaemin think the way he does. 

“Who would make him feel like that?” Donghyuck thinks out loud. “He didn’t really have many friends in school, much less after he presented,” he continues with a frown on his face. “Everyone thought he was an alpha since he presented too… Jisung and I thought he was an alpha the  _ day  _ he presented.”

An uncomfortably long silence falls over the room as everyone digests the information Donghyuck had given, until Jisung breaks it with a small and tentative voice. 

“The only people home with hyung when he presented were Mom and Dad…” He says carefully. “We were at the park, remember, hyung?” 

Donghyuck nods slowly, staring at Jisung as the pieces come together in his head.

“You don’t think…” He says slowly, meeting Jisung and Jeno’s eyes. “… That they had anything to do with it, right?” 

Jeno is reminded of the phone call that had taken place last night, and his private conversation with Jaemin after Jisung and Donghyuck had left to sleep. 

There’s no way he could confirm that the events had any correlation, but he admits that the pieces would fit. Jaemin didn’t even tell him if whatever was happening with his mom was something recent or if it was something that’s been going on for a while. 

Granted, Jaemin seemed fine about his mom until Jeno, Jisung and Donghyuck had found out his secret, but Jeno doesn’t want to look too much into it in case he was wrong. 

It was a dangerous thought, though he wonders just how dangerous it is when Donghyuck even entertains the idea. 

“Why would they?” Jisung asks defensefully. “Mom and Dad always say to be proud of who you are.”

Donghyuck looks equal parts unimpressed and regretful as he speaks next. 

“That’s what Jaemin always says too. And all this time, he’s the one who hated himself the most.”

  
  
  


Jaemin wakes up when Donghyuck is in the kitchen making lunch for the four of them, still holding onto Jisung like a lifeline. 

“Are you awake?” He hears Jeno ask. He doesn't get to answer before he feels Jisung wiggle out of his arms and off the bed. “Kid, calm down,” Jeno giggles, forcing Jaemin’s eyes open completely. 

He loves seeing Jeno laugh. 

Through bleary vision, he’s able to make out Jeno laughing at Jisung with his crescent shaped eyes. He admires Jeno for a few seconds before he looks over at Jisung, who looks like he’s wiping his body down with… Towels?

“What are you doing?” Jaemin mumbles, propping himself up on his elbow. He registers that the heating bag is still on his body, and promptly tosses it to the side. 

“You’re sweating buckets,” Jisung answers, throwing Jaemin a half hearted glare. He doesn’t really mean it, it’s not like Jaemin can help it, but he still is mildly annoyed. “Aren’t you dying under the blankets? I’m pretty sure you’ve soaked the sheets with your sweat,” he adds, and Jaemin thinks he’s overreacting until a wave of pure and unbearable heat washes over his body. 

“Whoa,” he mutters, hastily pushing the blanket off of his body. Jisung was right, he feels like he’s on fire from the inside out, to the point where his clothes are sticking to his body because of how much he’s sweating. “I’m melting.”

“Sung, why don’t you change the sheets on Nana’s bed,” Jeno says as he makes his way over to Jaemin. Jisung’s right about those too, they’re reeking of Jaemin’s scent, and visibly soaked. “Jaemin, you should take a shower to cool off.”

“This is disgusting,” he notes, moving around gently to peel the blankets completely off of him, and peel his body off of the sheets. He sees Jeno reach out to help him, but Jaemin puts his hands out in front of him to stop him. “Stop, don’t do that. I’m gross,” he groans. 

Nonetheless, Jeno only tsks and helps Jaemin stand up by the arms. Once he’s on his own two feet, Jeno wraps an arm around his waist to help keep him balanced. 

“It’s natural Jaemin, you’re not gross,” Jeno assures, tossing Jisung a glance over his shoulder. “Change the sheets? And then you can help Donghyuck with lunch.”

Jisung grumbles as he makes his way into the hallway, headed to the linen closet to find new bedsheets. 

It’s with slow steps that Jeno leads Jaemin to the bathroom, Jaemin complaining and letting out little whines with almost every step. 

“Babe, my head hurts,” Jaemin whines, leaning more of his weight onto Jeno subconsciously. The more that Jaemin’s skin touches Jeno, the more he wonders how Jisung managed to survive napping with him for so long. 

“I know Nana, I’m sorry,” Jeno frowns, squeezing Jaemin in a short and soft side hug. “Maybe you’ll feel better after eating something.”

“Mhm,” 

Jeno seats Jaemin down on the closed toilet lid, telling him he’s going to grab Jaemin’s clean clothes before coming back. 

When he comes back, he’s a bit confused about why Jaemin is still sitting there, fully dressed and unmoved. 

“What’s wrong?” Jeno asks, putting Jaemin’s clean and folded clothes on the counter for later. 

Jaemin looks hesitant for a few seconds, fiddling with his thumbs in his lap. He makes eye contact with Jeno after a few seconds, gnawing on his bottom lip, a nervous habit of his. Jeno also notices that his leg is bouncing up and down, and he wonders what could be worrying Jaemin so much on top of his heat. 

“Can you shower with me?” Jaemin asks in a whisper, looking back down immediately, as if he was afraid for Jeno’s reaction.

Jeno just gapes at Jaemin after hearing his question, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. 

“You don’t have to,” Jaemin says quickly upon noticing Jeno’s silence and reaction. “I just feel really dizzy, and I don’t know if I can stand up for too long…”

Jeno gulps, still processing Jaemin’s initial request. 

“If you’re sure,” he finally manages to get out, nodding his head slowly. He walks a few steps closer to Jaemin, kneeling down in front of him and taking his sweaty and flushed face between his hands. “Only if you’re sure. I can keep my clothes on too if that’ll be better.”

“Yeah,” Jaemin whispers, also nodding his head slowly. “I’m sure. But could you, um… I don’t wanna be the only one naked…” He trails off embarrassedly, hoping Jeno catches onto what he’s trying to ask. 

And because he’s Jeno, and because it’s Jaemin, he understands. 

“That’s alright,” Jeno assures, patting Jaemin’s cheek softly before standing back up. “I’ll go in first? I’ll help you in, okay?” 

Jaemin nods, and then since he’s sitting on the toilet lid, he slaps his hands over his eyes, giving Jeno some privacy. 

He hears the older boy laugh a little, and although he feels a bit sad that he can’t see him laugh, he focuses more on trying to fight the blush which crawls onto his face. 

“Cute,” he hears Jeno mumble, before he hears the rustling of him taking his clothes off. 

He tries not to think about it, but falling asleep next to Jeno doesn’t really leave much up to imagination. Nonetheless, he thinks about other things as he waits for Jeno to let him know he’s done and on the other side of the shower curtain. 

“You can look now,” Jeno’s voice says. “Do you want cold or normal water?” 

“In between? More on the cold side though.”

Jaemin takes his time getting up from his seated down position, moving slowly as he pulls his shirt over his head. Bending down to peel his pants off of his legs is also a bit of a feat, and when he throws his dirty and sweaty clothes into a heap on the ground, he feels only the tiniest bit cooled off. 

“O-Okay I’m coming in,” Jaemin announces over the sound of the water hitting the tiles. 

“Do you want me to turn around?” Jeno asks, unleashing butterflies in Jaemin’s stomach. 

Jeno’s the sweetest boy he’s ever met, he’s sure. 

“Yes please,” 

“Okay.”

It’s with a deep breath that Jaemin takes tiny steps to the shower, pulling the curtain back a bit and letting the cooling spray hit his face. It instantly feels so immensely refreshing that Jaemin can’t help but step in eagerly, almost losing his footing on the slippery tiles. 

“Careful,” Jeno mutters, still not turning around. 

Jaemin wills himself not to look past Jeno’s shoulders, giving back the same amount of respect that Jeno is giving him. 

Once Jaemin is in completely, he sighs out shakily. 

“You can turn around,” he says softly. 

Jeno turns around, with a gentle smile on his face as he sees Jaemin standing in front of him. He looks cute with water droplets coming onto his face from the spray, and he pulls the younger closer, directly under the cool water. 

“Come on,” he mutters, one hand holding Jaemin’s while the other ruffles his hair under the water. “You gotta cool down.”

Jaemin is grateful Jeno doesn’t make any other remarks, simply helping him rinse the dried sweat off of his body and wash his hair. They don’t say much either, but Jeno constantly has a hand on him in some way, so Jaemin feels more stable despite his spinning head, and like he won't be collapsing on his feet at any given second. 

“I’m gonna say something,” Jeno says out of nowhere, brushing Jaemin’s wet bangs out of his eyes. “And you can tell me if it bothers you, okay?” Jaemin just nods, curious of what Jeno was going to say. 

Before he speaks, Jeno’s hands place themselves on Jaemin’s bare waist, sliding them down gently until they’re both resting on his hips. Maybe it’s the cold water, or maybe it’s Jeno’s touch on his bare skin, but Jaemin shivers. 

“You’re a bit curvy like an omega,” he murmurs. He still doesn’t look past Jaemin’s shoulders, but his hands are familiar with the planes of Jaemin’s body without needing to use his eyes. “I dunno how I didn’t see it before.”

Jaemin only hums, placing his hands on Jeno’s and sliding them up to his waist. Jaemin’s own hands hold Jeno around his bare shoulders, running his palms over the smooth and pale skin. 

“The doctor said that my body physique also didn’t develop fully because of the suppressants,” he whispers, taking a step closer to Jeno, just shy of having their bodies pressed together. “She said that within a few months off the suppressants, I’ll be…  _ Curvier _ ,” he says shyly, looking away from Jeno’s face right after. 

He never necessarily liked how he looked, seeing how he always compared his build to an alpha’s, so he’s not too sure how he’d feel about growing more into the distinctive features which set him apart from who he tried to be for so long. 

But a finger under his chin leading him to look back at Jeno and one soft look from him makes Jaemin think it’ll be okay. 

“You should know that you’re beautiful no matter what,” Jeno says, leaning in to leave a gentle peck on his lips. “No matter what.” He repeats for emphasis, kissing Jaemin’s cheek before pulling away. “I don’t think you wanna get pruny. Ready to head out?”

Jeno leaves the shower first, taking the one towel in the bathroom with him. He says he’ll change and come back with another towel, to which Jaemin hums and watches as he leaves. 

For the last minute or so, Jaemin switches the water to something warmer, just to bring his body temperature back to normal. His insides still feel like they’re burning, but it has cooled down a tiny bit. 

So far, his ‘heat’ has felt like an extremely prolonged and exhausting fever, though he doubts that’s what’s supposed to happen normally. He knows that omegas get very…  _ Insatiable  _ during heat, and he flushes at the mere thought of a time like that coming around. 

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t scared, but he knows (more so hopes) that he’ll have Jeno by his side for that time. 

In present time however, Jeno comes back with a clean towel and fully dressed in some of his clothes that Jaemin keeps in his closet. 

“Do you want me to leave while you get changed?” Jeno asks as he turns around after handing Jaemin his towel.

“Stay,” Jaemin says immediately, blushing a little at how quick he was to respond. “If that’s not too much to ask for.” He adds, for good measure. 

“Of course,” Jeno says, and Jaemin doesn’t even have to be looking at him to know that he’s smiling. 

Jaemin towels his hair dry for a few seconds before drying off the rest of his body, wrapping the towel around his waist as he steps out of the shower. He puts on his boxers before putting lotion on the upper part of his body along with his arms, sliding into the t-shirt Jeno picked out for him next. 

“Can you help me put lotion on my legs? Bending down irritates the cramps…” Jaemin asks, towel now slung along his neck. “You can look, by the way.” 

Jeno turns around, smiling fondly at the sight of Jaemin in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and boxers. 

“Sure,” he finally answers, lifting Jaemin up to sit him down on the vanity. 

Neither of them say anything as he Jeno runs his palms over Jaemin’s bare legs, but along with the cramps and the weird way his stomach rumbles with hunger, the butterflies from before make themselves known again, fluttering shamelessly and brewing up a grossly full feeling inside him. 

When Jeno is done, Jaemin pulls him close and between his legs by the hem of his shirt, leaning up a little to slot their lips together. 

It’s not as soft as all the other kisses they’ve shared today, a bit harder with wanting to convey three lovely words Jaemin can’t find the willpower to vocalize yet. 

But Jeno seems to catch on, kissing back with just as much fervour. 

In that moment, Jaemin realizes that he won’t always need words when it comes to Jeno, and that, he decides, is something one of a kind. 

Just another thing that reminds Jaemin of how special Lee Jeno is.

And of how lucky he is. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jisung has to leave the next day after lunch, and Jaemin doesn’t let him step even a foot out the doorstep without smothering him in hugs. 

“Jisungie, thank you for being here,” he mumbles into his taller, younger brother's neck. 

Jisung only hugs Jaemin back just as tight, kissing his head. 

“I love you hyung, I’ll always be there, okay?” 

Jaemin nods, endeared by his brother’s antics, and lets go of him with extreme reluctance. It’s always hard to say goodbye to Jisung when he goes back home, but it’s even harder as the last remnants of his heat fade out and as he knows he won’t be smelling Jisung’s calming scent anymore. 

“Take care, kid,” Jeno smiles, ruffling Jisung’s hair affectionately. Jisung only glares at him, but Jaemin can make out the adoration in his gaze. 

At least he knows he’s not the only one smitten by Jeno. 

Donghyuck walks closer to Jisung and whispers something in his ear, and Jaemin expects them to break out bickering, like they always do, except whatever Donghyuck says renders Jisung’s face hard, and when Donghyuck pulls away, all Jisung gives him is a stiff nod. 

“Bye hyungs,” he tells them, checking his phone one more time to see a text message pop up on his screen. He told the three of them that he’ll be getting a ride back home with his best friend who studies here, and judging by the way Jisung rapidly fires a text back, they’ve arrived. “Feel better soon Jaeminnie hyung, take care of him!” He emphasizes the last part of his sentence towards Jeno and Donghyuck, who both scoff in unison. 

“Did he think he was that helpful?” Donghyuck asks once the door closes behind Jisung, earning a light smack on his arm from Jaemin as a reprimand. 

“Jisung was helpful in his own way,” he defends, leaning back into Jeno’s arms when he puts them around him from behind. 

Donghyuck catches onto this, and he gives Jeno a pointed look before speaking again. 

“Why don't you go shower,” he tells Jeno, to which the latter surprisingly complies without a complaint. “I’ll make dinner with Jaemin.” 

Jeno passes Jaemin off to Donghyuck with nothing more than a kiss to the head, and where Jaemin wouldn’t normally think it’s a big deal, the look Donghyuck is giving him makes him worry a little. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jaemin mutters when Jeno is out of earshot. “What’s up?” He asks, as it was obvious to him that Donghyuck wanted to talk about something, something he didn’t want to necessarily say in front of Jeno. 

But Donghyuck doesn’t say anything for a while, simply dragging Jaemin to the kitchen and making him help with dinner, like he said. 

He makes Jaemin chop vegetables and make a sauce without elaborating on what he wanted to say, and Jaemin seriously starts to wonder if he’s okay, or if what Donghyuck wants to discuss is that serious. 

It’s only when Donghyuck covers a pot of stew with a lid that he turns to look at Jaemin fully, hand on his hip and gaze unreadable. 

It reminds Jaemin of what his mother would do when she wanted to say something to Jisung, who normally never listened. 

Donghyuck looks him up and down before finally speaking. 

“I thought you were an alpha,” he says first, shocking Jaemin a bit with how blunt he was. 

He didn’t necessarily think it was a sensitive topic for him, he could take anything in stride, but he also didn’t think Donghyuck would mention it so soon. 

Jaemin doesn’t say anything, merely gulps as he waits for Donghyuck to continue with what he wants to say. 

He’s being weird, Jaemin admits that, but he can’t pinpoint exactly what it is about him. He just seems like he’s thinking a lot, which in itself was out of the ordinary for him, but he also looks contemplative. 

What he could be contemplating, Jaemin truly has no idea, but he’s bothered by his curiosity and by how Donghyuck won’t just get right to the point. 

“Since the day you presented,” Donghyuck adds, and Jaemin busies himself with cleaning up the counters so he doesn’t have to stay looking at Donghyuck’s emotionless eyes. 

“Can you get on with it? What’s your point?” He asks, tossing scraps into the garbage and piling dishes into the sink. 

Expectedly, Donghyuck doesn’t say anything for a few seconds after that. When what feels like a minute passes by with Jaemin facing the sink and away from his brother, he feels familiar arms come around him and a familiar scent envelops him. 

“You can tell me,” Donghyuck mumbles, right up against his ear and almost in a way that Jaemin couldn’t decipher. 

He still doesn’t know what exactly Donghyuck is talking about, so he settles on putting on rubber gloves and getting a start on the dishes as he waits for Donghyuck to elaborate. 

“You can tell me anything,” Donghyuck emphasizes again, this time earning a sigh from Jaemin. 

“Hyuck, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the admits, lathering soapy suds onto the cutting board they used. “You’re all over the place.” 

Surprisingly, Donghyuck doesn’t let time pass before he speaks next. 

“If it was Mom and Dad, you can tell me,” he rushes out in one breath, almost as if he was scared to even speak the words. 

Jaemin however, only finds himself stilled frozen by Donghyuck’s words, still rather vague, but enough to get the point across. 

“I won’t get mad. I’ll always choose you,” Donghyuck assures, kissing Jaemin’s cheek for extra measure. “You’re more family to me than they are.”

“Don’t say that,” Jaemin says sternly, suddenly finding his voice after everything he hears Donghyuck say. 

He takes his gloves off and turns around, taking Donghyuck’s arms around him away. Now, without the constantly feverish heat in his system and now that he found a renowned source of energy, Jaemin can tower over Donghyuck with his height advantage, and he hopes it does something. 

“They’ve had you since you were seven, Hyuck, don’t say stupid things,” Jaemin continues, shaking his head when he sees the other open his mouth to protest. “And why would you even think it was Mom and Dad?”

Jaemin doesn’t know how else to deflect the topic, not knowing what else to say to push the idea away. 

He never really thought he’d have to figure out a lie for this, nor did he ever think that anyone would find out. 

Their parents had done a lot for Donghyuck and Jisung, adopted them at the mere ages of five and seven, and gave them a childhood. Lovely memories which are supposed to be cherished, during the ages where all Jaemin remembers is an orphanage. 

He doesn’t want to tarnish all those beautiful memories with something as mundane as his own problems, refusing to strip away the happiness that comes with growing up in such an environment. 

Some people aren't lucky enough to experience all of those things. Jaemin wouldn’t be the one to take it away. 

“Because they were the only ones around,” Donghyuck retaliates firmly, showing Jaemin that he was serious. This wasn’t something to joke about, Donghyuck knows Jaemin knows this, but if there’s even the tiniest bit of truth to Donghyuck’s assumption, he also knows that Jaemin will try to dismiss it. 

For what reason, he isn’t too sure, but he won’t let Jaemin dismiss the important conversation he’s trying to have. 

“Dude, tell me,” he insists, cocking up an eyebrow. “We’re not going to let Jisung stay there if that’s the case, right?” 

Jaemin feels a wave of immediate guilt wash over him entirely. 

When Donghyuck says it like that, he feels awful about letting Jisung stay at home with them. He and Donghyuck are fortunate enough to live far away and alone, but Jisung goes home to their parents everyday. 

At this moment, Jaemin feels like he’s been extremely selfish. 

It  _ is  _ the case, which means he shouldn’t have let Jisung stay there with them. 

But he did. 

And all for what? Because he was scared of what would happen to him? He’s an adult. He’s  _ been  _ an adult, but Jisung hasn’t been, and he still isn’t. 

More than ever now, he’s scared of what’ll happen to Jisung. 

“Does Jisung think the same as you?” Jaemin asks frantically, a million scenarios running through his mind, where Jisung is at the brute end of his own selfish mistakes and decisions. 

He doesn’t want anyone to ever pay for his own mistakes, he doesn’t want Jisung to ever feel what he felt when he was on the receiving end of their parents’ harsh words. 

“Does that mean it’s true?” Donghyuck presses, sounding a little too hopeful for someone talking about the downfalls of their parents. 

“Just tell me!” Jaemin snaps, looking at Donghyuck desperately, like he was begging for an answer. “If he thinks the same thing, he’ll probably do something dumb—”

“Jaemin,” Donghyuck cuts off, looking more serious again as he catches the younger’s attention. “Jisung isn’t going to do something stupid, he knows it’ll be dangerous if it’s mentioned.” Donghyuck assures, subtly answering Jaemin’s question as well. 

Jaemin catches onto it, and doesn’t know whether his shoulders should sag with relief or tense in tension. 

“I’ll tell you later,” Jaemin mutters, acknowledging that he won’t find an out of Donghyuck’s interrogation. And he didn’t want to start an argument over this, it was nothing to get riled up over. 

He doesn’t know if he really will tell Donghyuck later, but for now, it’s enough to satiate him. 

“You better,” the older boy grumbles, turning back to the stove and continuing to cook. 

Jeno walks into the kitchen ten minutes later like nothing happened, and Jaemin appreciates the normalcy Jeno brings with him wherever he goes. All crescent moon smiles while smelling like Jaemin’s body wash. 

“Stay for dinner?” Jaemin asks once he’s within earshot. 

Jeno turns around briefly to Donghyuck, as if asking for permission. When the latter simply dismissively waves his hand and nods his head, Jeno turns back around and smiles affirmatively. 

Jaemin thinks it’s weirdly cute, how Jeno still asks Donghyuck and himself for permission or confirmation before making a decision. Jaemin already feels like Jeno should know that he’s just like the rest of them, his brothers treat him like family, this far into their relationship. But then again, his unique mannerisms and habits like these are what make him all the more charming in Jaemin’s eyes, so he doesn’t really complain. 

“Do you know if your heat is almost gone?” Jeno asks as he takes a seat on the chair beside Jaemin’s chair. 

He has his hair dripping into his eyes, still relatively wet. And Jaemin is pretty sure that Jeno’s wearing one of his t-shirts, but he doesn’t mind, seeing as Jeno looks good in his clothes. 

“I dunno. Aren’t they supposed to last around five days? It’s only been three,” he notes, swinging his feet back and forth subconsciously. 

“They could last three to seven days,” Jeno hums, nodding his head. He throws a quick peek at Donghyuck over his shoulder, before turning back to Jaemin with a smile. “He doesn’t have anywhere to go tonight, right?” 

Although a bit confused by Jeno’s sudden question, Jaemin doesn’t waste time answering. 

“No, he’s gonna be home,” he says, furrowing his eyebrows lightly. “Why?” 

Jeno looks a bit solem as he gnaws his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes looking like the equivalent of a puppy’s. It’s too adorable for Jaemin to handle, but before he could spend more time thinking about how devastatingly cute Jeno is, he’s speaking again. 

“I have swim practice tonight,” he explains quietly, sounding almost remorseful. “I’d skip it like the rest I’ve been skipping, but this one is mandatory for the next competition.” 

Jaemin barely catches onto the latter half of what Jeno says, more so focused on how Jeno had been skipping practice. 

“Wait. You’ve been skipping practice? Why?” Jaemin asks, suddenly alarmed at how much trouble Jeno would be in. “Are you crazy! You’re like, the ace of the team!” He adds, eyes wide as he waits for an explanation from Jeno. 

“You’re in heat,” Jeno answers easily, frowning a little at how worked up Jaemin was getting. “I wanted to be here with you instead.” 

Jaemin almost feels like he’s stopped breathing for a moment, feeling like it was surreal, how Jeno chose Jaemin over his swim practices. 

Sure, he expected Donghyuck to take a break from school to stay with him, despite how guilty he still feels about it, and he knows he would’ve done the same. 

But Jeno?

Jaemin has always known that Jeno loved swimming more than anything. He always had fun at practice despite the torturous drills and endless laps across the pool. Sure, he’d complain sometimes, but never sourly. 

So he feels a bit taken aback, and a bit endeared, but above all guilty, about how Jeno ditched practice just to stay with him. 

“You didn’t have to,” he says immediately. “Oh God, you’ll get an earful from your coach,” he reprimands worriedly, looking at Jeno pitifully. “Don’t skip practice for something like this again, okay?” 

Jeno rolls his eyes, half serious as he speaks. 

“I’ll skip if it’s something about you, always. You should know this.”

Jaemin doesn’t think Jeno knows about just how much damage he does to his heart with a mere few words, and he wonders if he has a similar effect on Jeno. 

He hopes so, because Jeno always leaves him with a whirlwind of emotions coursing through him. 

  
  
  


Jeno leaves with reluctance, despite Jaemin urging him to get to practice so that he wouldn’t risk being late on top of skipping all those other practices. 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay? You’re a handful, can Donghyuck take care of you alone?” Jeno asks, semi concerned and semi teasing. 

Jaemin only rolls his eyes before flicking Jeno’s forehead affectionately. 

“My heat is almost gone anyway, I think. It’ll be okay. Now go,” Jaemin assures, practically pushing Jeno through the doorway by his shoulders. “Go home after and get some proper sleep. I’m sorry I kept it too hot to sleep well,” he apologizes. 

“But I—”

“But nothing. You’ve been more than enough Jeno, please get some rest,” Jaemin insists, smiling reassuringly at Jeno when he turns back around. 

Finally, Jeno relents, letting his shoulders slump. His lips also jut out in a tiny pout, and Jaemin’s heart skips a beat at the sight. 

“I love you,” he sighs, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his lips. 

Jaemin only smiles back brighter when he pulls away.

“I know,” he says cheekily. “Goodbye, Jen.”

Jeno waves goodbye to him and Donghyuck before he finally turns around and walks away, leaving just him and Donghyuck home alone for the first time in a few days. 

Donghyuck is putting the last of the dishes away when Jaemin walks into the kitchen, reaching for a glass of water. 

Now that they’re alone, he knows Donghyuck will be pestering him with questions, while also wanting to have a serious discussion with him. 

So he decided to enjoy the mere few minutes of quiet he knows he’ll get, drinking his water happily. 

As expected, peaceful quietness only lasts three more minutes until Donghyuck stops in front of him. 

“You said you’d—”

“Tell you, yeah,” Jaemin sighs, cutting him off. He finishes the rest of the water in one sip and puts his glass in the sink, turning to look at Donghyuck with pursed lips. “Short story? Long story?”

He didn’t think he’d want to tell Donghyuck, but now that Jisung is gone, along with Jeno, Jaemin is reminded of how much he doesn’t fear, well,  _ anything _ when he’s with Donghyuck. 

He doesn’t think too much damage could come from telling him the truth, besides, Donghyuck already suspected it. 

“I hate how that’s even a question,” the older boy whispers. 

Jaemin just shrugs. 

“Long story.”

So Jaemin makes them sit down on his bed, finding comfort in the lingering scents of Jeno and Jisung, as well as the comfort Donghyuck brings, as he wills himself to start narrating a story he never thought he would. 

Donghyuck makes him stop more than once, as to simply process or take a moment to calm himself. Jaemin gets it, he does, but he also doesn’t know how Donghyuck feels about everything after getting those reactions. 

When he’s done explaining, there’s an uncomfortably long silence that passes through them. 

“Do you hate me?” Jaemin asks, deciding to break it. 

Out of his peripheral, seeing as he’s picking threads on the blanket, Jaemin sees Donghyuck frown. 

“Why would I hate you?”

“For… For being an omega,”

Jaemin looks up at Donghyuck, catching the pitiful look the older boy sends him. 

He hates it. 

“Jaem…” 

“I hate it,” he whispers, looking back down and pulling harder on the threads, pulling them out completely, just to continue again and again. “ _ They _ hate me for it,  _ I _ hate me for it.” 

“Stop it,” Donghyuck says, immediately wrapping Jaemin in a hug. “Stop it, oh my God, what’s wrong with you? Jaemin, who cares if you’re an omega?” 

“I don’t like it,” Jaemin says into Donghyuck’s shoulder, voice coming out all kinds of muffled and hard to understand. “I-It ruined my life.” 

“Jaemin no,” Donghyuck gasps, pulling away just so that they could be holding eye contact. “No, don’t ever think that, okay? Mom and Dad are at fault,  _ they’re  _ the ones who forced you into this, Jesus.” 

Donghyuck’s eyes are so big with worry and he sounds so extremely shocked and taken aback that Jaemin almost regrets telling him. 

“Donghyuck you c-can be honest,” Jaemin pleads, nodding his head despite his onslaught of tears making his vision blurry. “You can tell me if I’m not what you thought I was. If I d-disappoint you.” 

He already disappointed the closest figures he had to parents. 

He wouldn’t be surprised if he also managed to disappoint his brother. 

“Oh, Jaeminnie…” 

“Just tell me,” he cries a bit, bringing his hands up to wipe the tears which have fallen down his cheeks. “T-Tell me so that I can fix it. I’ll be better, I’ll be an alpha again.” He assures. 

“There’s nothing to fix,” Donghyuck assures, taking it upon himself to wipe Jaemin’s tears now. “You don’t disappoint  _ anyone _ , much less  _ me _ . You don’t need to be an alpha, and you’re not taking those pills ever again. I’m your brother Jaemin, I love you,” he insists. 

“Donghyuck,” Jaemin sniffles.

“Yeah?”

“How can you love me, when I don’t… I don’t love me?” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin’s heat officially ends the next day, where his scent is normal and his body is at a normal temperature. 

He still finds comfort in familiar scents, but it’s not mandatory to help ground him anymore. 

Feeling better means that he can compensate Jisung by email transferring him fifty dollars, and compensate Donghyuck by making him breakfast. 

Feeling better also means going back to soccer practice. 

He doesn’t necessarily hate it, he’s looking forward to moving his limbs and getting back into going activity after just slumping around for the last few days, but he doesn’t know what to do about his scent. 

He’s going to be sweating, which means his scent will secrete more. It’ll be inevitable that someone will smell his omega scent, and he briefly wonders if cowering out and skipping practice again is a good idea. 

But Donghyuck had only bought him a week, and it seems as though it’s time to get back into the groove now. 

The groove being the life (Donghyuck would call it the lie) he lived before all of this. 

It should be normal, it should be routine, but for Jaemin it’s everything but normal and routine. 

He spent fifteen minutes turning the kitchen upside down trying to find the bottle of pills, until he realized Donghyuck had thrown them away days ago. 

Disgustingly, he notices that his fingers are shaking when the regular time that he normally takes them passes by, his system still void of the three familiar pills. 

Oddly enough, he feels empty inside, like those three tiny pills have made a big enough indent inside of him, have marked a big enough part of him as theirs. 

And who knows, maybe they had. 

Because Jaemin is pretty sure it’s not normal to feel like you’re constantly missing a part of you. Especially when that ‘part’ was a fake alpha, something that was never his to begin with. 

“This tastes great,” 

Donghyuck’s voice of compliment breaks Jaemin out of his thoughts, turning around from where he’s slipping his shoes on to look at the older boy, who’s still sitting at the table. 

Donghyuck always has his classes start after his, claiming he needed to get his ‘beauty sleep’. Even if Jaemin wanted to start his classes later and get his so-called ‘beauty sleep’, he’s always up really early for soccer practice. 

“Thanks,” he says to Donghyuck, glancing over his shoulder, only briefly. “You can eat the rest if you want.” 

“Did you have some?” The older boy asks before Jaemin can unlock the door. 

Jaemin’s hand pauses on top of the doorknob, hesitant with his answer. He knows the answer he wants to share and the answer Donghyuck wants to hear, so in the end, he settles on being honest. 

“I’m nauseous,” he admits, sending Donghyuck what he hopes is a quick and assuring smile. “And I can't risk puking my guts out at practice after missing a week. I’ll pick up something later maybe,” he promises, slipping out the door before Donghyuck can protest any further. 

He knows that he’s nauseous because he feels empty without his pills, and without the uncomfortableness and haze of his heat, their absence is even more glaringly obvious. 

He also knows he won’t have time to get something to eat after practice, only having a fifteen minute window between then and when his next class is. 

But Donghyuck doesn’t need to know that, though Jaemin is pretty sure he already does, having the younger’s schedule memorized and such. 

Jaemin doesn’t think about it though, deciding to push thoughts or what his teammates and friends would think when they get a whiff of his real scent. 

_ How would he even explain it?  _

Instead, he thinks about how pretty the sky looks this morning, a bit dark because the sun hasn’t fully risen, but still lovely. 

There aren’t many people out and walking as Jaemin walks towards the fields, and the ambiance is overall calming. 

He guesses that’s what he needs now, as he feels all his nerves and anxieties come back once he’s standing in front of the locker room doors. 

Jaemin isn’t late, but he still smells the scents of his other teammates, and curses himself for putting the time into plating Donghyuck’s breakfast extra beautifully. It could’ve saved him some time, where he could’ve finished changing without everyone noticing the shift in his scent. 

Nonetheless, Jaemin tries his best to suck it up as he pushes the doors open and walks in, immediately making his way towards his locker and avoiding eye contact with everybody. 

Sure, this way he doesn’t for sure know if anything is happening, or if anyone is staring, but he prefers that over acknowledging the confusion or disgust on their faces. 

Because after all, who goes around lying about their secondary gender? 

Jaemin, that’s who, because he’s ashamed of what people will think of him. 

He opens his locker with practiced ease, stuffing his bag inside after he takes out his cleats and protective gear. 

“Good morning,” 

Jaemin jumps out of his skin at the greeting, flinching ss he turns around to the voice immediately. 

Standing behind his open locker door, Jeno stands leaning against the other lockers with his arms crossed over his chest and a smile on his face. 

Jaemin feels like shit this early in the morning, even more so given the circumstances, but Jeno still somehow manages to look like a dream. 

His black hair is messy and wet atop his head, and Jaemin is reminded that the swim team probably had practice before them. 

His t-shirt clings a little to his body and arms, but other than that it’s loose fitting. Jeno has his glasses on too, perched on his nose and sliding down a little. 

“Good morning,” Jaemin greets back quietly, finding it difficult to manage even the smallest of smiles to send Jeno when the latter kisses him on the cheek. “How was practice?” 

Jaemin always wonders how Jeno manages to wake up so early in the morning and then proceed to do well in practice, but he guesses that’s something that comes with habit. 

If you were to tell Jaemin of a few years ago that his life would consist of waking up at ungodly hours for soccer practice, he’d laugh.

It’s funny how his old humour had become his reality. 

“You smell great,” Jeno notes, ignoring Jaemin’s question in favour of watching him fondly as he ties up the laces on his cleats. He can sense and tell that Jaemin is feeling anxious, and a bit out of place. The least he could do is try to ease his worries, despite not knowing how effective he’d be. 

“Shut up,” Jaemin mumbles, standing back up straight once his shoes are on tight. 

He’s ready now, and while he should go out onto the field to start his warmups, he doesn’t want to feel everyone’s eyes on him as he leaves the locker room. 

So, he turns to Jeno fully and takes a few steps closer to him, gnawing his bottom lip anxiously. 

“A-Are they staring at me?” He asks, already feeling dread pool in his stomach as he waits for the answer. 

The dread only becomes heavier, when he sees Jeno’s eyes soften on him.

Jeno sees no point in lying to him, it’d only make them both feel worse in the long run. 

“Yeah babe, some people are staring.”

Jaemin’s breathing picks up immediately at that, eyes fleeting around nervously to the lockers behind Jeno, despite no one being there. He feels increasingly paranoid as his eyes scour to look for someone who isn’t there, and the speed of his heartbeat also picks up dramatically. 

He never knew it’d come to a point, where he’d be this self conscious about other people’s eyes on him. 

Jaemin wonders when he became this vulnerable, though he has an inkling that it was from the second Donghyuck trashed his pills. 

“Hey, hey,” Jeno calms quickly, noticing the way Jaemin starts to panic. “Don’t look anywhere, just look at me, alright?” 

Jaemin doesn’t hear Jeno, transfixed on a spot behind him, so Jeno takes Jaemin’s head into his own hands delicately, making him look right at him. 

“Just look at me, okay?” Slowly, Jaemin nods his head, seeming to come back to reality. 

He looks right into Jeno’s eyes, where he feels the warmest, and focuses on the crescent shapes they form when Jeno pinches Jaemin’s cheeks. 

“Hey,” Jaemin whines, trying to wiggle free of Jeno’s hold. Reluctantly, Jeno lets go, only to bring the younger into a hug immediately after. “Jeno,” he mumbles embarrassingly, duly noting that people in the locker room were probably staring. 

It wasn’t new information around anywhere that Jeno and Jaemin were seeing each other, but that didn’t mean they were ready for so much PDA… 

“What is it?” Jeno mumbles back, stuffing his nose into Jaemin's neck. The latter recognizes the feeling, and tenses for a split second when he acknowledges that Jeno is nosing right at his scent glands. 

“D-Don’t do that,” he says weakly, although he doesn’t try to push Jeno away. “People are looking,” he adds, hoping it’d convince Jeno more. 

That’s wishful thinking though, because it doesn’t deter Jeno at all. Instead, he noses harder, as if he were afraid Jaemin would disappear out of his arms at any given second. 

“Let them look,” Jeno says, more of an edge to his tone. His arms tighten the slightest bit around Jaemin, bringing him closer and running his nose along his neck, near his collarbones and then up to the shell of his ear. “They can’t have you anyway.”

It’s only then that Jaemin registers that Jeno is  _ scenting  _ him. 

His mind feels a little dizzy as the revelation, reeling with the prospect of being scented by someone, much less Jeno. 

“What are you doing?” Jaemin asks nonetheless, despite already knowing the answer. He doesn't know why Jeno is scenting him in the middle of the locker rooms though, and rightfully, he’s more curious about that. 

“Making sure people don’t bother you,” Jeno answers, pulling away a few seconds later. He takes a quick sniff of Jaemin, only a little one, before nodding, satisfied. 

A cute smile makes its way into his lips again, like he hadn’t gotten extremely possessive over him a mere few minutes ago. 

Jaemin always knew Jeno’s duality was no joke, but this was something else entirely. 

“Go to the field,” he says, ushering Jaemin towards the exit door. “You don’t wanna be late after missing so many practices.” 

“That sounds awfully like a repeat tape,” Jaemin scoffs, referring to how he had said almost identical words to Jeno not even three days ago. 

“Ignoring that,” Jeno brushes off cheekily, turning Jaemin back around to face him once they’re out of the locker room. “I won’t do this all the time. I should’ve asked before I did, and I’m sorry I didn’t, but I just got worried over you getting self conscious about your scent,” he explains, gently stroking underneath Jaemin’s eye with one thumb.

Jeno is looking at him so tenderly, that Jaemin briefly wonders if he’s deserving of much a soft and loving touch and gaze. 

“I don’t know why, because you smell like everything lovely about the world, but it’s okay,” he continues, leaning in and pressing a small kiss to Jaemin’s forehead. “It’ll all be okay baby, you can do this.” 

For some reason, Jeno says it like a promise instead of anything else. 

And Jaemin knows that Jeno never breaks his promises. 

“Thank you Jeno,” he whispers, leaning in to press his own soft kiss against Jeno’s lips. 

“Anytime.” 

  
  
  


Jaemin isn't even on the soccer field for more than twenty seconds before a ball comes rolling towards him at a rapid speed. 

Instinctively, Jaemin’s foot comes out to catch the ball between his cleat and the grass, and he’s a bit pleased to know his reflexes haven’t gone down the drain after the week spent off of soccer.

When he looks back up, Renjun is jogging towards him with a bright smile on his face, stopping right in front of Jaemin while snatching the ball from his hold. 

Jaemin would’ve tried to get it back if he wasn’t so taken aback by how Renjun looks like he’s glowing. 

“You’re back!” The older boy exclaims, to which Jaemin only nods slowly, still a bit confused towards why Renjun looks so excited, and not weary, like most of the rest of the team. 

“I guess so,” he mumbles, following behind Renjun as they both make it towards where the rest of the team is warming up. He isn’t sure that Renjun won’t be mad at him, but it’s better than being alone, he thinks. “Did I miss anything too important? Formations? Competition announcements?” 

Renjun doesn’t answer right away, and Jaemin feels just a little uncomfortable under the other’s unwavering gaze. 

Jaemin can’t even tell anything off of the way Renjun is looking, almost like he didn’t want Jaemin knowing in the first place. 

“Nothing important,” Renjun finally answers, kicking the ball towards Jaemin lightly. It’s easy to catch it under his cleat, and he rolls it around for a few seconds before kicking it back to Renjun. 

“That’s good,” he mumbles.

It’s never been awkward around Renjun, something about them just clicks, and the same goes for right now too. It’s not awkward, just very quiet.

“Donghyuck said you were sick,” Renjun says after a while, keeping the ball with him. He motions for Jaemin to get another one, which he does. 

When he comes back to Renjun, he’s bouncing the ball on his knee repeatedly, so Jaemin joins in. 

“I was,” he agrees, moving closer to Renjun so that he wouldn’t have to speak too loudly. “Feeling better now though.”

“By better, do you mean normal?” 

Jaemin falters a little at that, but he doesn’t manage to let the ball fall to the ground. 

He wonders what Renjun means, but decides to go with it instead of questioning it. 

“You always feel normal after recovering from a fever, right?” He chuckles nervously, feeling his chest her heavier with the unknown feeling of Renjun knowing more than he’s letting on.

Jaemin wouldn’t even put it past Renjun either, he was very smart and knew Jaemin a lot better than he thought he knew himself. 

“Jaemin, I’m not stupid,” Renjun sighs, but he still doesn’t give Jaemin his full attention. He’s still dribbling the soccer ball with his knee, and Jaemin has lost count of how many seconds Renjun managed to keep it going. 

“Pardon?”

Jaemin gulps, and although he had a feeling that people would figure him out and that his secret wouldn’t be a secret anymore, he still wasn’t ready for the actual confrontation of it all. 

“I mean, I always had a hunch, but you smell different today, so it only confirms my suspicions,” the other explains, never explicitly saying what his suspicions even were. 

The fact that Jaemin understands the topic of conversation makes him wonder how many other people there are who have always had their suspicions or questions. He also wonders how many of them that he’s come across today have already put two and two together. 

“What?” 

He still feigns ignorance though, because he could be completely off about the whole thing. Better safe than sorry, right? 

But alas, Renjun knows he isn’t too stupid, and also knows that he isn’t this ignorant either. 

“Cut the crap,” the older boy sighs, finally setting his sights on Jaemin and letting the ball fall onto the grass. Just to avoid looking at Renjun, Jaemin keeps dribbling his ball. “I won’t ask for an explanation, but I’ll tell you that I know you’re an omega. Yukhei also knows.”

Jaemin freezes upon Yukhei’s name being mentioned, finally letting his ball drop as he stares at Renjun with his jaw agape. 

There’s a difference between acknowledging people like Donghyuck, Jisung, Jeno, and Renjun finding out his secret, people he’s close with, people he considers friends. But it’s something else entirely when it’s someone he isn’t as close with, or maybe even a stranger, who finds out his secret.

Jaemin wouldn’t say he’s on bad terms with Yukhei, they’re friendly. But hearing that he knows of Jaemin’s true biology, it makes something sick twist in his stomach. 

“Renjun—”

Seeming to sense his panic, Jaemin sometimes forgets that Renjun is his closest friend outside of his brothers and Jeno, Renjun cuts the distance between them and smiles at him gently. 

“He’s okay. He doesn’t care, Jaemin. I don’t think anyone cares about your gender,” Renjun assures, repeating words akin to the ones that Donghyuck, Jisung and Jeno have been telling him for the past few days. 

He wants to believe them, he really does want to make them and himself happy, but there’s something stopping him from accepting the words and drilling the concept into his brain. 

“Are you sure?” He finds himself asking, unable to hide the obvious insecurity he feels about more people finding out the truth. 

But Renjun looks like he expected the question, as he simply nods his head and kicks one of the soccer balls between them to Jaemin. 

“I’m sure. Everything is okay, Jaemin.” 

  
  
  


Everything is not okay, Jaemin decides, when he gets stares from the people who sit near him in all of his classes. 

The only exception is the one class he has with Renjun in the middle of the day, but besides that, the other three are spent with his classmates’ constant confused gazes, and Jaemin forces himself to shut them out so he doesn’t think about it for too long. 

There are a few people who try to talk to him at the end of class, but it’s for that reason that he bolts out immediately, avoiding eye contact and wishing he still had his scent blockers so that people would stop obviously trying to confirm whether or not he really does smell like peaches and Rosé. 

Once Jaemin deems that he’s far enough from anyone who could try and talk to him, he slows down and takes the longer route on the way home, simply in hopes of not bumping into anyone else. 

It works for about all of five minutes before he hears someone call his name. 

“Hey, Jaemin right?” 

He could very much ignore whoever is calling his name, but blatant rudeness was simply not who he was. 

So it’s with extreme reluctance that Jaemin slows down the pace he’s walking at, and turns around to see who had called for him. 

Jaemin recognizes him as someone from his second class, a boy who sits near where he sits with Renjun. 

“Hello… Xiaojun?” Jaemin greets a bit hesitantly, but the smile he gets in return from the other boy lets him know that he got his name right. 

“That’s right,” 

A few seconds of silence pass by without either of them saying anything, and Jaemin wonders what it is that Xiaojun wants. 

“What’s up?” He asks to try and cut the silence, relieved when Xiaojun seems to perk up a bit at the question. 

“You’re an omega, right?” He asks.

The feeling Jaemin let consume him during soccer practice comes back even stronger right now, especially since Xiaojun is a stranger, like he had freaked himself out over. 

He doesn’t know why Xiaojun asks the question so casually, but then again, perhaps it is something casual to talk about, and Jaemin had simply always avoided it for his own reasons. 

When Jaemin doesn’t answer the question, Xiaojun simply smiles softly, tilting his head to the side. 

“I’m a beta,” he says, and Jaemin notices that he has a snaggletooth of some sort when he smiles wider. “I was wondering if you’d like to—”

“He doesn’t,”

Shocked by the sudden familiar voice, Jaemin whips his around to look behind him, where Xiaojun’s eyes had shifted to look. 

“Oh,” Xiaojun says, and when Jaemin turns back to him, he’s blinking repeatedly while looking between the two of them. “Oh, are you two together? Sorry, I didn’t know,” he apologizes, seeming a bit embarrassed, if the way his cheeks darken in a blush is anything to go by. 

Jaemin is about to say it’s okay, he wouldn’t hold a grudge over someone who simply didn’t know, but Jeno seems to have their ideas. 

He walks the few steps there are between himself and Jaemin until they’re standing side by side, and takes the younger’s hand in his own. 

“Okay, you can leave now,” he waves off, using a tone that’s so extremely different from the usual gentle and soft sound of his voice. 

Jaemin is taken aback by this side of Jeno, eyes wide as he looks up at him. Jeno’s eyes don’t leave Xiaojun though, and if Jaemin looks close enough, it looks like he’s glaring daggers at the other boy. 

“Right,” Xiaojun says, looking at Jeno weirdly. Nonetheless, he smiles a small smile back at Jaemin. “I’ll see you later. Bye-bye.” And then, he turns around to leave. 

Jaemin doesn’t even watch Xiaojun leave completely before he’s looking back at Jeno, only to find him still staring at the other’s retreating figure. 

He’s still confused towards where Jeno’s sudden attitude had come from, but he waits until Jeno is finally looking at him to say something about it. 

“What—”

“You’re too cute,” Jeno cuts him off, not even bothering to listen to what his question could entail. 

Jaemin watches as his lips get pursed together, as well as feels as Jeno’s fingers manoeuvre themselves to interlace with his own. 

“What?” Jaemin chokes out this time, taken aback by the sudden compliment. 

By the looks of it though, Jeno doesn’t seem to pay the way he’s flustered any mind, only giving him a once over. 

Jaemin hates it when Jeno does that, it makes him feel entirely exposed and  _ naked _ , despite being anything of the sorts. No matter how many layers he’s wearing, whenever Jeno looks at him like  _ that _ , it makes Jaemin feel like he’s reading into his soul. 

He does it a lot too, and it’s become even more frequent. He doesn’t know what Jeno gages or accomplishes from doing that, but he doesn’t question it either. 

“And you smell really good,” the older boy finally sighs after a while, shaking his head slowly. 

Before Jaemin can say anything else, Jeno is already holding onto his hand tighter and walking them both into a familiar direction, though it’s opposite of where Jaemin’s apartment is. 

“But I should smell like you,” Jaemin pouts, mindlessly swinging their hands between them. He does it a lot, he’s come to realize, but Jeno doesn’t complain about it, so he doesn’t see a reason to stop. 

“It’s wearing off,” Jeno answers, quelling his confusion. “I should’ve scented you for longer…” 

Jeno mumbles the words, but Jaemin still hears him as bright as day. It makes a flush crawl onto his cheeks, and he wonders if he looks as red as he feels. 

Jeno always says these kinds of things mindlessly, not even thinking before rendering Jaemin flustered with the shortest of phrases. 

Once again though, it could just be an aspect of the ‘Lee Jeno Charm’, to be so effortlessly charismatic. 

“Jeno—”

“It’s not fair,” he sighs, cutting Jaemin off again. He would’ve said something about it, if Jeno didn’t continue and say, “It’s hard having the prettiest boyfriend on campus.” 

Jaemin freezes in the middle of the hallway they were walking through at that, jaw dropped to the floor as he gapes at Jeno. 

When Jeno notices how he gets pulled back when he tries to take another step forward, he turns around to see what was holding Jaemin up. 

He takes in the younger’s appearance, furrowing his eyebrows at how frozen and shocked he looks.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, a small frown marring his face as he comes up to get a closer look at Jaemin. “Are you not feeling well?” He probes, his unoccupied hand coming up to check Jaemin’s temperature on his forehead. 

“Boyfriend?” Jaemin simply repeats dumbly, unable to find it in himself to be able to form a proper sentence. 

“What?” Jeno asks, confused, as he rightfully should be. Jaemin doesn’t know why he expected Jeno to know what he was talking about when he only vaguely said one word. 

“You said I’m your boyfriend,” Jaemin says again, blinking dumbly up at Jeno, as he watches realization wash over him.

And then, Jeno looks mortified. 

His cheeks instantly dust themselves pink, and he steps a little bit away from Jaemin. 

Jaemin thinks Jeno looks cute when he blushes, but he’s more focused on an explanation. 

“I mean… Aren't you?” Jeno mumbles after some time, uncharacteristically shy as he looks down at the ground between them. 

Jaemin blanks for a minute. 

Is he? 

There was never an explicit question… Nor was there a discussion or a moment in time where their titles were established… 

But Jeno seems to think of him as his boyfriend, so he guesses that they are indeed… Boyfriends…

“I-I guess, but,” he stutters, also looking away when Jeno finally looks back up. “You never asked, so…” 

“Oh,” Jeno says, blinking three times before his usual smile takes over his face. He’s still pink, but if you look past that, he looks like he normally does again, like he hadn’t been flustered a mere few seconds ago. “Na Jaemin, do you wanna be my boyfriend?” 

Jaemin never thought he’d hear those words coming out of someone’s mouth, and for some reason, hearing them come out of Jeno’s mouth just sounds all kinds of  _ right.  _

And anyways, he was waiting for Jeno to ask sooner or later. 

“Yes. I’ll be your boyfriend, Jeno.” 


	3. chapter three

Jeno had dragged him all the way to a bakery, saying that he was going to buy Jaemin whatever he wanted as a treat for getting through his first day back, but then he settled on buying them a cake to commemorate officially getting together. 

Jaemin never knew it was this big of a deal before, but then again, he also didn’t know what it was like to have a boyfriend. 

It hits him in the midst of Jeno explaining the different cake options, that Jeno is his first _real_ boyfriend. 

He never thought your first _real_ relationship would feel so normal, but then again, it could just be because he’s with Jeno.

Everything with Jeno always feels natural, after all. 

“Do you want the chocolate one?” Jeno asks, coming back to stand next to him. His arm automatically snakes around his waist, the same way Jaemin’s hand automatically searches for Jeno’s. 

He guesses maybe that’s what it’s like to be with your person. 

“If you’d like it too,” Jaemin answers, only receiving a hum from Jeno before he makes his way to the counter. 

He waits behind Jeno quietly, looking around the bakery, at the cozy looking walls and the pretty lights strung onto the ceilings. 

Jaemin makes a mental note to come here on a date one day, and it’s with that thought that Jeno grabs his hand again and says thank you to the clerk. 

They make their way out of the bakery with a small conversation of how their classes and respective teams are going, and by the time they’ve made it to Jeno’s dorm, Jaemin learns that the swim team is having their first competition of the season in two weeks. 

“That’s so exciting,” Jaemin cheers happily, even happier when he sees the smile adorning Jeno’s face. “What are you competing in?” 

“Two hundred meter freestyle and diving,” he says, taking his shoes off as Jaemin closes the door behind them. “I wanted to do the four hundred butterfly, but Coach gave it to Mark instead.” 

“Well maybe this way you can focus on your freestyle and diving more,” Jaemin consoles, and Jeno nods in agreement. “Are we just gonna eat cake? I can order some food.” 

“I will—” 

“ _I_ will,” Jaemin cuts off, giving Jeno a pointed look. “You already bought the cake. Is pizza and wings okay with you?” 

Jeno doesn’t answer for a few seconds, which prompts Jaemin to look up from where he was ready to call the pizza and wings place. He has them on speed dial. 

“Whatever you want,” Jeno says fondly, ruffling Jaemin’s hair before trekking deeper into the form and putting the cake on the kitchen counter. “Today is all about you.”

“Us,” Jaemin protests, following Jeno until he’s sitting right in front of him on a barstool. “About us.” 

Jeno just smiles again, leaning his elbows onto the counter and putting his chin in his hands. 

“Sure. Us.” 

Jaemin looks at him weirdly before calling the pizza and wings place, placing their order and paying with his credit card over the phone. 

“You’re so sexy when you pay for me,” Jeno sighs dreamily, to which Jaemin bursts out laughing. He’s still propped up in the same position as earlier, so Jaemin mirrors it until they’re just staring at each other. 

They both let a few seconds pass by like that, until Jaemin feels his face soften a little at the sight of the mole next to Jeno’s eye. 

“Jeno-ya,” he mumbles, tracing his eyes over every soft and defined feature on Jeno’s face. “You’re so handsome.” 

Jeno doesn’t let it show, besides a blush, but Jaemin can tell with the way his eyes crinkle more that he’s flustered. Or enamoured. Either or. 

“You’re handsomer,” Jeno says back, leaning in just a few inches more. 

“Jeno-ya,” Jaemin drawls again, now also smiling as wide as Jeno. He doesn’t know what it is about the other boy, but it’s almost always impossible to not smile around him. “That’s not a word, babe.” 

“You’re cute,” Jeno dismisses, moving back to stand up straight. “Do you wanna change into some clothes? You can shower too if you’d like.” 

Jaemin is surprised at the sudden conversation change, but he also doesn’t expect anything less from Jeno. 

“I think I’ll shower,” he sighs, also pushing himself back and standing up from the barstool. “I can feel my congealed sweat,” he notes, wrinkling his nose right after. 

“Right,” Jeno snickers, waving Jaemin off into the direction of the bathroom. “Have fun, don’t take too long! We should do some homework before the food coma kicks in.” 

Jeno doesn’t see it, because Jaemin had already turned his back to him, but the younger rolls his eyes distastefully at that. 

Leave it to Jeno to want to do homework while they were alone and commemorating officially getting together. 

Speaking of official terms, Donghyuck is going to flip his shit once he finds out. 

Jaemin still remembers Donghyuck being the one to ask him to hurry up and seal the deal, and he’s been pestering him about it ever since. 

He appreciates Donghyuck’s investment, but he’s hoping that when Jaemin tells him that they’re official, he’ll back off. 

Jaemin fishes out some clothes from his corner in Jeno’s closet, opting for his own long sleeve but Jeno’s sweatpants. He makes quick work of taking a shower, not wanting to upset Jeno and purposefully dodging their time to study. 

He’s back in the living room with wet hair and soft skin soon after, taking a seat next to Jeno at the couch. 

“You smell good,” Jeno comments, watching Jaemin intently as the latter takes his own books and highlighters out. 

“It’s your body wash,” he scoffs, flipping open to a page in his book that he’s supposed to read. 

“No,” Jeno chuckles. “I mean _you._ You smell good. Peachy and sweet.” 

Jaemin’s fingers falter where he’s flipping to the right page, and he slowly looks back at Jeno when he says that. 

As always, Jeno is just smiling sweetly at him. 

Unable to filter himself, Jaemin says the first thing that comes to mind whenever Jeno says things like this. 

“You make me like my scent more,”

Jeno seems genuinely surprised at this, and Jaemin doesn’t know what he was expecting after sweet talking Jaemin’s scent every chance he got. 

“It’s not me,” Jeno says softly, looking so extremely fond at the moment that Jaemin doesn’t know how to deal with the soft look on his face. “It’s because you’re starting to know it too. You _should_ like it, Nana. You smell like a dream, you _are_ a dream.” 

“Babe,” Jaemin whines, feeling his face heat up for the nth time today. “Stop it.”

“I love you,” Jeno giggles, tackling Jaemin into a hug. He squeezes him tight, so extremely tight, and Jaemin has never felt warmer inside. 

It’s the simplest of moments with Jeno, Jaemin notices, that make him realize how lucky he truly is. How one of a kind Jeno is, how much he enjoys spending time with him, being with him… 

“So much, Nana. I love you so much,”

And Jeno never expects anything back from him, he wears his heart on his sleeve unapologetically. He doesn’t care for the words he gets back, the actions he receives in return or the sentiments. 

Jeno just wants the people around him to know how he feels. 

And Jaemin thinks it’s something beautiful, to be so open and not expect anything back. 

Jaemin feels honoured that it’s him who Jeno decided to give his heart to. 

He may not know what to do with it, and he may agree that holding someone’s heart in your hands is a responsibility bigger than anything else, but he’s not too afraid to take it on if Jeno is with him. 

Jaemin shuts Jeno up with a kiss, knowing his heart wouldn’t be able to handle whatever other nonsensical sap he’d be spewing. 

“Let’s study,” he whispers when they pull apart, smiling gently at Jeno, who’s looking back at him like a puppy would their owner. 

Jaemin guesses ‘puppy’ would be the best way to describe Jeno. 

Jaemin ends up reading and annotating his book quietly, curled up on himself and taking up a third of the space on the couch. Jeno busies himself with typing on his laptop, but Jaemin doesn’t pay much mind to what it is. 

Thirty minutes pass by like this until there’s a knock on Jeno’s door, alerting both boys of their food’s arrival. 

“I’ll get it,” Jaemin mumbles, marking the page he was on and getting up from the couch. 

When he returns with his arms full of two pizza boxes and a big box of wings, Jeno is already sitting at the table with glasses of ice and soda cans. 

“Now that I can smell it, I’m starving,” he sighs, helping Jaemin pop open the boxes along the table. He barely waits for Jaemin to sit down before putting three slices on his plate, and a handful for wings. 

Swimmer’s appetite, he guesses. 

“Whoa, don't wait up,” he jokes, taking his seat across from Jeno. He agrees that he’s also quite hungry today, not having breakfast and only eating a granola bar Renjun had graciously passed him during class. He doesn’t know how he went this long without complaining, but now that it’s closer to 6:00pm and there’s two pizzas and wings in front of him, Jaemin simply doesn’t complain and starts eating. 

For the first few minutes, it’s just the sounds of them eating after the whole day, accompanied by Jeno opening soda cans and pouring the bubbly liquid into their glasses filled with ice. 

When there’s only four slices of pizza left and two wings, Jeno lets out an extremely loud burp. 

“Sexy,” Jaemin comments, winking obnoxiously when Jeno looks back at him. 

There’s pizza sauce on the corner of Jeno’s lips and he had managed to get spicy honey garlic sauce on the tip of his nose, but he still looks adorable when he sends Jaemin an obnoxious wink back. 

“Right back at you,”

They talk in slow and murmured voices for the next ten minutes, before Jaemin cuts Jeno’s sentence off with a groan. He’d feel bad about it if Jeno hadn’t cut him off multiple times before during the day. 

“Food coma,” he whines, words slurring together because of how sleepy he suddenly feels. 

Despite them both doing sports, Jeno seems to understand just how tired sugars, carbs and sodium can make you. Even more when you haven’t eaten much the whole day. Jaemin guesses it's the medical student in him. 

“I told you,” Jeno chuckles, using an exorbitant amount of effort to lift himself up and out the chair he was sitting in. “Let’s go take a nap.” 

“A nap?” Jaemin choruses, gratefully accepting Jeno’s outstretched out hand. It’s with a combined effort that Jaemin stands up from his seat, and it’s with even more effort that he follows Jeno into his bedroom. “I might just knock out for the night.” 

“Whatever you do, text Donghyuck. Don’t make him worry too much,” Jeno advises. 

Jaemin thinks Jeno is better at keeping things in check in his life than he is, and his reminder to text Donghyuck just proves that. 

Jaemin knows he’ll get an onslaught of annoying text messages from the older boy about his his first day went and where he’ll be if he isn’t home, so he opts to send him a half assed, somewhat detailed explanation before turning his phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’, locking it and tossing it onto Jeno’s bedside table. 

**to:** **_duckie❤️_ **

_i’m gonna crash at jeno’s, don’t know if i’ll be back tonight_

_either way, eat dinner without me and don’t wait up_

_love you <3 _

Jaemin doesn’t even get to so much as take another step before Jeno’s arm comes around his waist and pulls him back onto the bed. 

He lands with a huff, and with the bed springs creaking annoyingly, but once the mattress hits his back, all other thoughts are pushed out of his mind. 

The extreme anxiety he felt when he stepped out of his apartment without swallowing pills, and the sinking feeling which consumed him when Renjun told him he and Yukhei knew his truth all disappears when Jeno covers them with the blanket. 

The only light coming into the room is from the translucent curtains covering Jeno’s bedroom window, but it’s late enough into the evening where the sunlight isn’t too bright. 

Jaemin hums contentedly when he’s pressed against Jeno and the wall, warm from the blanket and Jeno’s body heat. His nose is in his favourite spot against Jeno’s scent glands, and he can feel Jeno’s faint heartbeat through his t-shirt. 

“I’ll wake you up when I wake up,” Jeno mumbles sleepily, knowing full well after how many times they’ve fallen asleep together that he always wakes up before Jeno. “Night, Nana,” he adds, pressing a soft kiss to Jaemin’s forehead. 

From his spot buried away, Jaemin presses a light kiss onto the skin of Jeno’s neck. 

“Night, Nono.”

  
  
  


For Jeno, night lasts for all about three hours before his eyes force themselves open, consciousness seeping into his brain with every second which passes by. 

Where there used to be a soft and dark blue hue filtering into his room, it’s now a midnight blue, almost a completely black light. 

He wants to get up and turn on the light, doing anything in the dark is horrible for his already terrible eyesight, but Jaemin is holding onto him like a vice and restricting his movements. 

It doesn’t look like he’s moved at all during their nap, but he has drooled. Jeno can feel the wet puddle on the neckline of his t-shirt. He cringes a little, but it passes easily since it wouldn’t be the first time Jaemin has drooled on him. 

“Hey Jaemin,” Jeno says quietly, shaking the younger’s shoulder a little bit. He would much rather prefer if Jaemin stayed the night and fall asleep with him again, but he would also rather give him the option of whether to do that or not. “Baby, wake up.” 

Jaemin seems dead to the world, and while he normally always wakes up immediately at an alarm, he doesn’t let up much when it’s a person waking him up. 

“Jaeminnie,” Jeno tries again, cooing as he manages to wriggle an arm loose and ruffle Jaemin’s hair. 

As he expected, it does nothing to wake him up. 

Jeno settles on pressing small and soft kisses to Jaemin’s face, hoping that the ticklish sensation will wake him up. 

He’s proven correct when he feels Jaemin’s nose scrunch under his lips, and can feel Jaemin’s long eyelashes flutter against his cheek. 

“Yay, you’re awake,” Jeno mumbles, pressing a final kiss to the bridge of Jaemin’s nose. 

Jaemin only manages to hum, groggy and voice gravelly from not using it for a while. 

“Can I stay here tonight?” Jaemin croaks out after a while, still buried away against Jeno with his eyes closed. “I’m tired.”

“Of course you can stay,” 

Jaemin hums happily, relaxing completely against Jeno again. 

Jeno has other plans, seeing as he keeps kissing his face all over. From his forehead to his cheeks, nose to his chin. It tickles, but Jeno doesn’t look like he’s going to stop, in fact, he looks like he’s enjoying himself more then Jaemin. 

“Babe,” Jaemin ends up giggling a little when Jeno pecks kisses onto his chin, and it doesn’t help that Jeno’s hair is tickling his face too. “Stop it, it tickles.”

“That’s the point,” he hears Jeno grin, sliding his head down just the slightest to continue kissing down Jaemin’s neck. “You really do smell so good, Nana. I think I’m in love with the way you smell,” he comments, pressing delicate kisses to his scent glands. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jaemin huffs, not putting up much of a fight anymore. Instead, he just lets Jeno enjoy himself. 

“I’m serious,” the older boy whines softly, kissing lightly at his collarbones. “You’re like a dessert.”

“Mhm,” Jaemin hums, realizing he wasn’t going to win this argument against Jeno. He also chooses to pointedly ignore Jeno, especially after he called him a dessert, not knowing how to go about that. 

That is, until Jeno kisses right under his ear, making his breath hitch. 

Jeno doesn’t seem to pay it any mind, Jaemin doesn’t think Jeno heard him, seeing as he continues to litter pecks onto and near that spot. 

“J-Jeno,” he breathes out eventually, finally catching the other’s attention.

Jeno puts a bit of distance between them, looking at Jaemin intently for a few seconds. Neither of them get to say anything before Jeno puts a hand on Jaemin’s waist and presses their lips together, not kissing him gently, but not harder compared to anything they’ve done before. 

Jaemin thinks this until Jeno bites on his bottom lip, emitting a gasp from him and his eyes flying open. 

“Sorry,” Jeno apologizes, moving back again. A few seconds pass by them, and Jeno smells Jaemin's slightly sweeter scent within those few seconds. His eyes widen, and he looks at Jaemin with his mouth parted a bit open. “Sorry,” he says again, at a loss of what else to say. 

Jaemin, on the other hand, knows his face is already tomato red, able to feel the heat radiating off of it. 

“Don’t say sorry,” he assures, though it comes out as a mumble and it sounds very quiet even to his own ears. “I liked it. Do it again.” 

And then, Jaemin molds their lips together again, grateful and less embarrassed about his words when Jeno kisses him back enthusiastically. 

As Jaemin asked, Jeno gently bites on his lower lip again, and Jaemin’s reaction is a bit different this time. No more is it a gasp, but a softer and breathier sound instead. 

Jeno seems to like the sound, kissing Jaemin for a few seconds more before biting again, eliciting the same reaction. 

“Jaemin,” Jeno mumbles after realizing that the younger’s very sweet scent is _very_ noticeable now, a clear indication of his arousal. “Let’s relax a little.”

And for once, Jaemin finds himself immediately shaking his head without thinking about it first. 

“No,” he says, bringing his arms up to wrap them around Jeno’s neck. It’s a new feeling, bubbling inside of his stomach, but he knows what it is. And while he would’ve been weary about this step in their relationship even a month ago, now he’s more curious than anything else. It’s enough to push his insecurities away for a few seconds too. 

He looks into Jeno’s eyes, making sure they hold eye contact as he says, “I don't want to stop. Do you?” 

Jeno doesn’t answer right away, flicking his eyes down from Jaemin’s eyes to his kiss swollen lips, and then back up. 

Subconsciously, his tongue comes out to run over his lips. 

“No,” he agrees, leaning in until there was only a few centimetres between their lips. “I don’t want to stop.” 

So they kiss again, and now it’s Jaemin who takes a bit of a lead and pushes his tongue into the older boy’s mouth. 

This was fine, something they’ve done before, and Jaemin feels comfortable in leading their kiss. 

But then Jeno pulls him closer just to flip them over, hovering over Jaemin while he continues to kiss him. 

Now, a bit more alert at the position change, Jaemin can smell Jeno’s heavy scent, the spike of _more_ from his usual scent. 

He’s aroused. 

“Hey,” Jeno croons, something he only does when he’s able to sense a bit of hesitance or uncertainty from Jaemin. “We can stop. We can just cuddle and eat some ice cream,” he suggests, all with that lovely crescent smile of his. 

Jaemin looks down Jeno’s body a little, and vaguely makes out the slight bulge between his legs. He doesn’t doubt that the other is able to smell how his scent peaks, but it’s not like he can control it anyway. 

“No, it’s just…” He trails off, finally looking back up at Jeno. He’s still towering over him, hands on either side of his head and his hair falls into his eyes. It’s also extremely dark, seeing as neither of them had turned on the light and it’s nighttime outside. “C-Can we turn on the light? I can’t see you.”

Jaemin would rather be able to see Jeno’s face when he talks to him. 

Leaving with a peck on Jaemin’s forehead, Jeno gets up from the bed and heads to turn on the bedroom light. 

Colour floods the room immediately, and Jaemin already finds it easier to breathe. He’s able to make out Jeno’s features when he comes back, still laying down on his back. Jeno doesn’t get on top of him again, rather pulls him up into a sitting position instead. 

“Better?” He asks gently, hands on either side of his waist. 

“I’ve never done this before,” Jaemin says right off the bat, looking down to avoid seeing Jeno’s reaction. “I don’t know how it works.” He admits. 

He can’t ignore the bubbling feeling in his stomach, and he also can’t ignore Jeno’s heavy scent of arousal. What he can deny is knowing how this whole thing would work. 

“We don’t have to,” Jeno immediately assures, smiling gently. 

Of course, Jaemin expects Jeno to be like this; this caring and considerate. But for once, Jaemin wants to give Jeno something he won’t admit he wants. 

“I want to,” he says, genuinely, positively, hoping his words convey that much. “But I don’t know how…” 

“Do you trust me?” Jeno whispers, cupping one of Jaemin’s cheeks with his palm. When Jaemin nods, Jeno smiles. “Then I’ll take care of you.” 

Jeno lays him back down onto the bed, crawling on top of him again. He kisses him softly, slowly sliding his tongue in and licking into his mouth. One of his hands is still on his waist, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb. 

When Jeno’s lips trail down to Jaemin’s neck again, the latter arches into his hold, instinctively lolling his head to the side to give Jeno more room. He also guesses it's a bit of his omega submitting to Jeno’s heady and arousing alpha scent, as he melts into the sheets and into the other’s hands. 

“Jeno…” He whines softly when Jeno bites gently into his skin, leaving just the slightest sting in his wake. 

“I’m here,” he mutters, leaning back up to kiss him. “I’ll be here, okay?” 

“Okay,” Jaemin mumbles against his lips, letting Jeno take the lead again as he pushes his hips down flush against Jaemin’s. 

Jaemin can’t help it, when a moan escapes his lips at the action. 

Jeno grunts too, and the sound gets sent straight south, where he feels himself swell up against Jeno’s already hard length. 

His sweatpants are already feeling a little tight, and when Jeno’s hands run up and down his sides underneath his shirt, his own hands can’t help themselves from grabbing Jeno’s neck and crashing their lips together. 

His breathing comes out harsher and his chest rises and falls at a rapid pace. Jeno doesn’t seem any better though, kissing him back with equal fervour and gripping his waist tightly under his shirt. 

They make out like that for a while, sloppy until Jaemin can feel spit trickle down his chin, and he wonders if this is what it’s normally like. Either way though, those thoughts get tossed out of his head the second Jeno puts a hand on his hard length, cupping him through his pants. 

“ _Oh_ ,” he moans, the sound ringing bells in Jeno’s mind. “Please,” he whines, not sure what he’s asking for, but knowing that Jeno had just sent sparks up his spine with his touch. 

Wordlessly, Jeno kneads the heel of his palm against Jaemin’s bulge, relishing in the little breaths and moans he lets out. He busies himself with kissing Jaemin’s face all over, not wanting to muffle his mouth and silence his erotic sounds. 

“God, you even sound so lovely,” he mutters, lifting his head back up to see Jaemin’s flushed cheeks and sparkly eyes. “Can I take your shirt off?” 

Seeming to snap out of his gaze for a few seconds, Jaemin shyly nods his head at Jeno’s question, feeling himself redden more when the other pulls his long sleeve over his head. 

With his chest bare, Jaemin feels more exposed and like Jeno could see the thumping of his heart through his skin. 

Again though, since Jeno seems to sense Jaemin’s uneasiness, he sits up a little to take his own shirt off, tossing it somewhere else right after. 

At the sight of Jeno’s bare chest, Jaemin feels his breath catch. 

He always knew Jeno had a good body, comes with swimming and all the training and practice he does. But seeing his chest bare and from this close, Jaemin feels his mouth run dry at the sight of his defined muscles and abs. 

“You’re hot,” he finds himself saying, like his brain to mouth filter was completely nonexistent. 

Jeno however, seems to be amused, simply chuckling as he leans back down and peppers kisses down Jaemin’s chest, all the way down until he reaches the waistband of his pants. 

“You’re very pretty,” he murmurs into Jaemin’s skin, looking back up at the younger through his eyelashes. “Very soft, very beautiful,” he adds, hands suddenly on Jaemin’s hips and eyes holding contact. 

He asks his question silently with his eyes, and although Jaemin’s heartbeat picks up, he nods his head and gives Jeno the green light to take his pants off. 

He peels the clothing off slowly, throwing it aside for later on, and he doesn’t waste a second before he’s kissing up Jaemin’s legs, all the way until he reaches his thighs. 

“Yours too,” Jaemin pants, out of breath after watching Jeno kiss up his legs. 

There’s so much adoration and love in Jeno’s eyes as he makes a show of taking his pants off, wiggling his eyebrows in a way which Jaemin can’t help but laugh at. 

“You’re so gorgeous when you smile,” Jeno admits softly, leaning back down and over him to kiss his lips. 

Where Jaemin saw the love in Jeno’s eyes, he's able to feel it now too with every kiss pressed to his mouth, with every touch which sets his nerve ending ablaze, with every whisper of praise into his ear. 

Jaemin’s hands come up to grip Jeno at his hips, using whatever burst of confidence comes over him and pulls him down, pressing their arousal together. 

Jeno moans against his lips this time, and Jaemin whimpers at the sound right up against him. 

“Please,” he says again, still not knowing what exactly he’s asking for. All he knows is that when Jeno grinds down onto his hips, it feels like heaven. 

It also feels like heaven when Jeno’s hand trails down to his behind, thumb slipping under the waistband of his underwear. 

“Yes,” Jaemin moans before Jeno can even ask, subconsciously lifting his hips up. Whether it was to make it easier for Jeno to pull his underwear down or if it was to search for the friction against Jeno again, he isn’t too sure. 

“Are you sure?” Jeno pants, leaning up so that they could look at each other properly. “You can say no.”

Jaemin sees Jeno’s cheeks, which are also dusted pink, and then he sees something akin to the stars in his eyes. 

When he takes his eyes over his body, he sees a toned chest which houses a gentle heart, and for some reason, when he brings his eyes back up to see Jeno looking at him patiently with the softest look in his eyes, he knows. 

Because this is Lee Jeno. 

Someone with an abundance of patience, someone who loves everyone for who they are.

Someone who makes Jaemin feel like he can be comfortable in his own skin, someone who doesn’t forget to remind Jaemin of just how much he’s worth. 

Jeno is someone who’s stuck by his side during his weakest moment, someone who doesn’t fail to put a smile on anyone's face. 

So in this moment, looking up at him while they both wait to take the next step in their relationship, he knows. 

“I love you,” 

Jeno freezes for a moment, it’s almost funny with the way his eyes blank for a while before flooding with the same warmth and love there’s always been in them. 

And then, a smile so bright and wide stretches onto his lips, and Jaemin doesn’t know if he should feel as giddy as he does. 

He said it. 

He really said it, and he _meant_ it. 

It’s more than just three words for him, at this moment. 

For Jaemin, it’s another milestone in his life, which Jeno helped him achieve. 

“I love you too,” Jeno breathes out, crashing his lips onto Jaemin’s right after. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he cheers, accentuating each confession with a kiss to his lips. “I love you so much, Nana.” 

Jaemin smiles wide too, Jeno’s happiness is contagious, and lets himself fall open underneath Jeno, _for Jeno_. 

After all, this is the man he loves and trusts. 

So he takes one of Jeno’s hands and leads it back to the waistband of his underwear, nodding his head and giving Jeno the green light. 

Jeno strips them down both, admiring Jaemin’s body, from the tips of his hair to the bottom of his feet. 

“I love you,” he repeats again, scooting down until he was between Jaemin’s open legs. 

Jeno doesn’t wait for Jaemin to say anything as he kisses the insides of his thighs, making his way up higher and higher until he’s eye level with Jaemin’s hole. 

The younger blushes darker again, looking away and wishing he could bury his head into the pillow. But alas, all he can do is blindly search for the lube Jeno says is in his bedside drawer, tossing the bottle to him without so much as looking into his eyes. 

When Jaemin hears Jeno squirt some lube onto his fingers, his insecurities come back full force. 

Normal omegas don’t need lube. 

“I’m sorry,” he breathes out, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as an onslaught of doubts pummel his brain. 

“For what?” Jeno frowns, fully focused on Jaemin’s face. “It’s okay if you want to stop, you don’t have to be sorry about that,” he assures.

But Jaemin simply shakes his head, looking away from Jeno’s patient eyes. 

He wonders if there will ever be a day, where Jeno runs out of patience for him. 

“I can’t… There's no slick…” He admits in a whisper, too embarrassed of the words which slip past his lips. He shouldn’t even have to worry about this as an omega, but of course he couldn’t have a normality with his real biology. 

Jaemin feels a comforting hand on his thigh, one that rubs his skin in a calming way. 

“Hey,” Jeno starts gently. “Look at me.”

So Jaemin does, albeit reluctantly, and wants to melt and cry right there on the spot at how enamoured Jeno looks, even when he's looking at a mess like him. 

“I don’t care about that, Jaemin. It doesn’t matter to me that you can’t make slick,” he assures, pressing another kiss to the inside of his thigh. “All that matters to me, is that you’re here, that you love me, and that I love you. That’s all that’ll ever matter, baby.” 

Call Jaemin pathetic, but he really does let his tears slip then. 

Hearing the sincerity and the promises in Jeno’s words, when he’s as vulnerable as he is right now, makes something emotional bloom inside of him. He can’t help but let those emotions overflow until they spill out in the form of tears, blurring his vision and making his heart throb. 

“I love you,” Jaemin says shakily, wiping his own tears away as he sends Jeno a watery smile. “Oh, Jeno I love you so much.” 

Jeno makes him feel comfortable in his skin, and Jaemin guesses that’s more than everything he’s ever needed, if the full and complete feeling which encapsulates him is anything to go by. 

“I know,” Jeno hums, looking up at Jaemin fondly. “I know Nana, let me show you how much I love you.”

Jaemin nods his head, letting Jeno breach into him with his fingers coated in lube. 

Jeno starts off slow, letting him get used to the new and different feeling. Jeno tells him to relax, so he tries his best to and focuses on the drag of the other’s finger inside of him. 

Jeno adds more fingers upon Jaemin’s request, until he’s writhing against the sheets and against Jeno’s hand. 

“More,” Jaemin whines, looking down at Jeno with hooded eyes. “Please, I want you Jeno.” 

Anyone would be weak for that, and Jeno is no exception. 

With Jaemin’s scent being the sweetest it’s ever been, Jeno lubes up his length and wipes his hand on his sheets to clean it off.

“Baby,” Jeno grunts, sliding into Jaemin slowly, one hand holding his leg open and the other gripping his waist to ground himself. “You feel so good, fuck.” 

Jaemin moans at Jeno’s words and the feeling of him molding to the shape of his insides, pushing deeper and deeper with every movement. 

“You feel good,” Jaemin pants out, feeling like the breath was knocked out of him when Jeno finally stills to give them both time to adjust. What feels like three minutes pass like this, until Jaemin shifts his hips slightly, immediately moaning out the feeling of Jeno moving inside of him. He decides he needs more of that feeling. “Please,” he calls, looking up at Jeno with arousal bleeding through his every pore. And this time, he knows what he’s asking for. “Please move.” 

Jeno always listens to him, further proven by how he slowly starts thrusting in and out of Jaemin, one hand stretching out to lace their fingers together. 

“Yes,” Jaemin gasps, squeezing onto Jeno’s hand when he hits a sweet spot inside of him, arching his back off of the bed slightly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Jeno please,” he begs, chasing the feeling Jeno had just given him. 

The other seems to catch onto this, angling his hips and thrusting back into him, constantly hitting that place inside of him which makes him see stars. 

Jaemin learns, wrapped up in Jeno’s arms and tangled in Jeno’s limbs, that love doesn’t come easy. It hadn’t come easy for them, but after giving Jeno the last tucked away part of him, Jaemin knows it’s worth it. 

Because falling asleep next to Jeno after he had cleaned them both up, is a feeling Jaemin never wants to forget. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin has to drag himself out of bed with Jeno the next morning, because as much as he’d like to bathe in the morning after bliss with him, he has to pick up his soccer uniform from his apartment before making it to practice. 

“Babe, let go,” Jaemin whispers, trying his best to wriggle free from Jeno’s arms. He doesn’t want to wake him up, but he seems to fail at that, Jeno’s eyes slowly blinking open.

“What? Where are you going?” He croaks, loosening his arms nonetheless. 

“I have to go get my uniform from home,” he says, managing to get free from Jeno’s arms. 

He gently manoeuvres himself around Jeno’s limp body and off of the bed, trying his best to rustle the sheets as little as possible. 

“I’ll come with you,” Jeno insists, starting to sit up, but Jaemin only pushes him back down by the shoulders, tucking him back into bed. 

“You’re not going anywhere. Go back to sleep.”

“But Nana—”

“I mean it Jeno. Get some sleep, I’ll be okay,”

With extreme reluctance, Jeno lets his head fall back against the pillows, watching as Jaemin picks out new clothes with a pout on his face. 

His eyelids do feel heavy though, and by the time Jaemin comes out of the bathroom after a quick shower, Jeno is on the verge of passing out again. 

His eyes only stay open enough for him to watch Jaemin grab his discarded bag and slip into his shoes, before he comes back to give Jeno a kiss on the head. 

“Bye Jen, I’ll see you later,” he mumbles fondly, taking in the other’s closed eyes and soft expression. Jeno always looks so peaceful and beautiful when he’s asleep. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Jeno slurs, eyes still closed and burying himself deeper into the blankets. 

Jaemin only smiles again before petting Jeno’s hair gently, and then quietly makes his way out of Jeno’s dorm room. 

It’s a short fifteen minute walk back to his apartment, and although he is tired and hungry since it’s so early in the morning, soccer practice will wake him right up. 

He wishes he could head straight to the field, but he has to grab another uniform from home. He could use the one in his soccer bag, but it’s already coated in a full practice’s worth of sweat, and Jaemin wasn’t keen on using it again. 

The morning breeze does it’s job with keeping him awake, crisp and cool as it hits him in the face and blows the hair out of his eyes. 

Along with the pleasant enough weather, Jaemin feels rejuvenated this morning. Maybe it was because he got a good sleep, or maybe it was because of everything that went down yesterday. 

Becoming each other’s official boyfriends, spending the evening together, being intimate… 

The thought alone sends red flaming up his neck and along his cheeks, and Jaemin is glad the wind is there and cools him off. 

Needless to say, he’s practically bouncing on the balls of his feet as he finally makes it home, and where he would dread waiting for the elevator to bring him up to their floor, he can’t find it in himself to let anything ruin the sunshine he’s walking on today. 

That is, until he makes it to his front door. 

Where there should’ve been no one, but instead, standing in front of their apartment door, are his parents. 

They look like they were getting ready to knock on the door, and why they were here this early, he has no clue. 

He must’ve dropped his keys at the shock of seeing them here, because his fingers aren’t gripping onto anything anymore and his parents both turn around at the same time to see him. 

“Oh, Jaemin,” his dad greets, smiling warmly. “You’re out early,” he points out, and it’s then that Jaemin realizes that he doesn’t look the best right now, with his hair a mess. And that on top of everything, he smells either predominantly like himself, _his omega self_ , or like Jeno. 

Either way, the problem is that he doesn’t smell like cedar wood and cumin. 

“G-Good morning,” he stutters, reaching down to pick his keys back up and hesitantly making his way over to them, to unlock the door. 

He doesn’t want to get too close, he doesn’t want them to be able to smell him, but seeing as he’s the one with the keys and seeing as they don’t look like they’ll be moving anytime soon, Jaemin accepts his fate. 

He makes quick work of unlocking the door, letting them all in and turning the lights on. Obviously, Donghyuck is still asleep, and he feels his anxiety spike at knowing that he’ll have to deal with his parents alone today. 

Donghyuck already seems suspicious though, it’d be a shit show if he were here right now anyway. 

“Is Donghyuck asleep?” His mom asks, speaking up for the first time today. Jaemin simply nods, dropping his used uniform into the washing machine at the end of the hallway. He doesn’t make eye contact with any of them, choosing to look away and busy himself with bringing out two glasses of water if they’d like instead. “Good. These are for you.” 

Like he expects whenever they come over, his mom slides over a large bottle of ‘vitamins’, and the rattling sound makes Jaemin want to immediately hurl. 

He stares at them for a good few seconds, unmoving. Jaemin only comes back to reality when his mom clears her throat again. 

“I’m assuming you need them now. You smell… Funny,” she says with a nose scrunch, looking at him with distaste. “And like an alpha. Who were you with?” She sounds steely now, and Jaemin wishes he could disappear into thin air at this point. 

Anything would be better than being under the stern looks of his parents. 

“Spent the night at a friend’s place,” he lies, finding it extremely hard to refer to Jeno as just his friend. He wonders if there will ever come a day where he can introduce Jeno as his boyfriend to them. “Drank a little so I just crashed there.” 

Jaemin hopes they buy his excuse, and by the way his mom purses his lips and doesn’t say anything else, he thinks they do. 

“What’s his name?” His dad asks after, and now Jaemin doesn’t know what to say. 

There’s a chance that his parents would want to meet said friend, and he doesn’t know if he can handle Jeno meeting his parents so soon, despite Jeno and Jaemin seeing each other for around four months at this point. He doesn’t even know if Jeno _wants_ to meet his parents. 

So instead, he says the only other name of an alpha he can trust. 

Granted, they've hung out only once. 

“Mark. Mark Lee, someone from the swim team,” he supplies, nodding his head, almost like he was also trying to convince himself. 

“Mark Lee,” his mom repeats, like she was testing the way it rolled off of her tongue. 

Jaemin doesn’t know what to think about it, or if she can tell he's lying, so he just nods again. 

Thankfully there are no more questions asked, so Jaemin clears his throat awkwardly before making his way down the hallway again. 

“I have to go to practice,” he explains, grabbing his clean uniform from the dryer machine. “Are you guys gonna wait here for Donghyuck…?” 

“No,” his mom answers, grabbing the bottle of pills and motioning Jaemin to come forward with her hand. “Take your suppressants.”

“I’ll take them before I leave,” he says, hoping he sounds nonchalant as he brushes her off. 

In reality, he feels nauseous at the mere thought of taking those again. 

Yesterday, he felt all kinds of horrible for _not_ taking them, but today he knows he’ll feel all kinds of horrible if he _does_ take them. 

“You smell, Jaemin. Take them now so that you will smell normal when you leave.” 

Jaemin hopes she doesn’t see how he falters at her words, hand falling off of the door knob on his bedroom door. 

He does smell, doesn’t he? 

He thought he’d have confidence in his peaches and Rosé, given the last week and _especially_ given the night prior, but all of that is washed away by his mother’s mere few words. 

Oddly enough, it makes him feel worse, since he still thinks he’s starting to like his scent more. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that other people will too, right? 

He should’ve known, if he’s being honest with himself. 

The euphoria from yesterday wasn’t meant to last, and Jaemin wasn’t meant to be an omega. 

He’s supposed to be an alpha, after all. 

“Okay,” he finally whispers, taking slow steps back to where his mom is standing. 

She has the three pills laid out on her palm, holding them out to Jaemin. He stares at them for a good few seconds before taking them into his shaky hands, ignoring the shiver that runs down his spine as his hand makes contact with his mother’s icy skin. 

His dad hands him a glass of water, and Jaemin already feels terrible. 

Both of his parents’ eyes are on him as he somehow forcefully manages to push the three familiar pills down his throat, washing the horrendous taste down with water. 

He wills himself not to visibly gag in front of them, but he can already feel his body start to quease up. 

“Have a good practice,” his dad says, with a smile on his face like what just happened, didn’t happen. Like he didn’t watch Jaemin swallow a heat suppressant, a scent blocker and a scent mocker. “Do well.”

_I always do well_ , he almost wants to say, but his tongue feels like sandpaper in his mouth and his throat feels like it’s been dropped to his stomach. 

“Tell Donghyuck we dropped by, there’s some food for you guys in the bags too,” his mom says, picking her purse up and giving Jaemin a once over. “Don’t forget to take your vitamins, Jaemin. Don’t skip a single day.”

Jaemin feels like she probably knows he hasn’t been taking them, why else would she say something like that? 

With the knowledge that she probably knows, Jaemin feels like his heart had crawled out of his throat, blood cold and body frozen. 

“Okay,” he settles on saying again, admittedly weaker and quieter this time. 

He didn’t think that after the last week, he’d go back to being this fragile around his parents. 

“Bye Jaemin,” his dad says, holding the front door open for his mom. 

“Goodbye, Jaeminnie.”

If Jaemin’s heart was still somewhere in his system, it clenches painfully at those words. 

“B-Bye Mama,”

Jaemin is left in silence once they’re gone, and a few seconds later, he has half the mind to move forward and lock the door. 

After he’s done with that, the weight of what he let into his body dawns on him, and the sickening feeling comes back, except this time, tenfold. 

He practically sprints to the bathroom, flipping the toilet lid up and emptying the contents of his already empty stomach into the bowl. 

His throat burns while pure bile comes out of his system, and his retching must’ve woke Donghyuck up, as he suddenly feels a hand on his back and a hand pushing his sweaty bangs off of his forehead. 

“Hey,” Donghyuck whispers soothingly, though Jaemin is able to detect the worrying tone in his voice. “It’s okay, let it all out,” he soothes, running his one hand up and down Jaemin’s back. 

He wishes it would’ve helped more than it actually does, because Jaemin feels tears prick at his eyes at how his stomach convulses and how his muscles shake.

Jaemin did so well, for a week. 

A whole seven days without those three horrendous little things. 

But now he’s here, weak again. 

He’s back at the bottom again. 

  
  
  


Jaemin skips out on soccer practice without a word to Donghyuck or a text to Renjun letting anyone know why, and holes himself up in bed until his first class. 

He feels the complete opposite of how he did yesterday, euphoria replaced with dread and comfort replaced with a cold, achy feeling. 

Even under his blanket, Jaemin is cold. 

Jaemin lets himself somehow fall asleep for the next two hours, curled into a ball in his bed and hugging one of Donghyuck’s sweaters to his body. 

He wants his brother with him now, but he isn’t ready to answer all the questions. 

Jaemin doubts he needs to though, the bottle of pills are sitting right on the counter where their mom had left them. Maybe Donghyuck had already pieced two and two together and is giving Jaemin space. 

When Jaemin wakes up because of the alarm he set, he feels something on his forehead, something which casts a shadow onto his line of vision. 

Confusedly, he groggily reaches up to his forehead, fingers coming into contact with a post-it note. 

With his bleary eyes, he reads the note. 

_I made you pancakes, please, please have breakfast. And I threw the pills away, don’t worry about them. I’m also going to pick up dinner on my way home, I threw out everything that lady brought us. You can stay home all day if you’d like, I love you Jaemin._

His eyes are teary by the time he’s finished reading the note, and he can already faintly smell pancakes from the kitchen. 

He’s never been so grateful for Donghyuck. 

Suddenly realizing how hungry he is, Jaemin hops out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth quickly. He doesn’t bother getting ready yet, he doesn’t know if he wants to go to class. 

Realistically, he knows he should, since he already missed so much because of his heat. But he really doesn’t think he has the energy or the mental capacity to sit through his classes today, and he knows Renjun will send him the stuff he’s missed anyway. 

So he settles on staying home, and sits down to eat his pancakes, which lifts his mood up the tiniest bit. 

It’s quiet, but Jaemin expects it to be. He just looks around the kitchen and apartment, and sure enough, there’s no containers with food from their mom like there was a few hours ago, and the bottle of pills is gone from sight. 

He doesn’t know what exactly Donghyuck did with them, but he also doesn’t want to think about it. 

When he’s done eating, Jaemin washes his dishes and makes his way to get clean clothes from his room, clothes which didn’t accumulate the sweat from his… Episode earlier. 

He takes a long shower after that, scrubbing himself clean and taking the extra time and care to make himself feel better. 

He thinks he could do at least that much, compensation for how terrible this morning was. 

After an hour, he’s out of the shower and the bathroom is steamy and humid. He also takes his time moisturizing and doing skincare, feeling happier and more refreshed as he steps into sweats and a t-shirt, crashing down on the couch with a throw blanket. 

He checks his phone before turning on a movie, and sees a bunch of unread texts from Jisung. Suddenly concerned at the amount of messages, Jaemin reads them immediately. 

**from:** **_jisungie🐭🤍_ **

_hyung mom and dad weren’t home when i woke up_

_hyung i think they’re going to your place_

_are you already awake_

_did they show up_

_hyung are you okay did they make you do anything_

_jaemin hyung please answer it’s been a while_

_hyuck hyung said you were sleeping… but it’s really late in the morning already…_

_are you okay?_

_please answer me soon hyung_

_i love you❤️_

Jaemin sighs, feeling guilty for letting Jisung worry like this. 

**to:** **_jisungie🐭🤍_ **

_i’m okay jisung, relax <3 _

_yeah they came over but donghyuck dealt with it, don’t worry too much_

_be careful at home, i can’t believe i have to say that :(_

_i love you too sungie❤️❤️❤️_

Jaemin doesn’t expect an answer soon, Jisung is in school, so he locks his phone and tosses it aside for now, scrolling through Netflix for something to watch. He knows he’ll end up falling asleep, but he still plays a movie he heard is trending nowadays, and curls into the cushions of the couch. 

Just like he predicted, his eyes fall shut an hour or so later, and he’s woken up again by the sound of keys jingling outside the door. 

Donghyuck walks in when the sun is just beginning to set, two bags in his hands and his backpack over his shoulders. 

Jaemin makes his way up to help with the bags, insisting even when Donghyuck tells him it’s okay. 

“How was your day?” Jaemin asks, normal, and Donghyuck seems to pick up on the need for a little bit of normalcy. 

“It was alright,” he says as he helps take out the food from the bags and set them along the table. “Mark bought me lunch today and Renjun let me steal his notes,” he explains, grabbing plates from the kitchen along with chopsticks. “What did you do all day?”

“Sleep,” he answers honestly, making the both of them laugh. “Watched a movie, but mainly slept.”

Donghyuck hums, and then they both sit down at the table. 

Donghyuck continues to tell him anecdotes of his day during dinner, and while Jaemin is listening, he’s more focused on the dinner. Donghyuck had bought food from his favourite Japanese place, and he makes a mental note to thank him in the form of breakfast on the weekend. 

Speaking of breakfast,

“Thanks for the pancakes this morning,” he says. “Made me feel a lot better.”

“Good,” Donghyuck nods, sending a small and sympathetic smile. 

Jaemin would’ve hated seeing Donghyuck look at him like that any other time, but right by now, all he cares about is someone else knowing what’s going on and not having to keep these things to himself. 

Donghyuck always makes it obvious that he can lean on him. Jisung too, with the worrisome and frantic texts from the morning. 

Getting adopted into this family may have not given him parents, but it did give him brothers for life.

And for that, Jaemin is eternally grateful. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**from:** **_jen <3 🧅 _ **

_na_

_donghyuck told me about your parents visiting…_

**to:** **_jen <3 🧅 _ **

_i’ll kill him🔪_

_i’m kidding🙃_

_i’m okay_

_but why are you awake so late ?_

**from:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_thinking about you_

_duh_

**to:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_what about me😳_

**from:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_everything about you_

**to:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_cute :(_

_but it’s also 2:30am_

_go to sleep baby💗_

**from:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_not yet_

_i’m still thinking_

**to:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_about things other than me ?_

_ </3 _

_atrocious_

**from:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_you’re on my mind 24/7 sweetheart dw_

**to:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_as i should be :)_

_i think about you a lot too, don’t worry <3 _

**from:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_good🥺_

_as for me…_

_i’m thinking about_

**to:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_yeah ?_

**from:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_nana can i call you ?_

_i missed you today_

**to:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_of course babe🥺_

“Nanamin,” Jeno sighs immediately when the call connects, and Jaemin hears the bed sheets rustling a little too before Jeno gets completely comfortable. 

“I hate it when you call me that,” Jaemin grunts, putting his phone on speaker and laying it down onto the pillow next to him. It makes it feel like Jeno was beside him. 

“All the more reason to keep calling you that,” Jeno hums. 

“You sound very tired, Jen, why don’t you go to sleep?” Jaemin asks, letting the unadulterated concern slip into his words. Jeno normally never stays up this late, especially because he often has early swim practices. 

“I’ve been thinking,”

“Yes, we’ve established that,” Jaemin snorts. When Jeno doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, Jaemin frowns slightly. “What’re you thinking about, hm honey?” 

“Jaemin-ah,” Jeno lets out shakily, alerting Jaemin even more than he already was. 

“Yeah?”

“I’m scared,”

Jaemin’s eyebrows furrow, and he lets dread creep into his heart. He doesn’t like the way Jeno’s voice sounds right now, and he also doesn’t like how he isn’t with him right now. 

“Of what? Did you have a nightmare?” Jaemin asks, only to receive no answer for multiple seconds. “Talk to me babe, I’m here. If all you want me to do is listen, that’s all I’ll do.” 

“Okay,” Jeno manages to choke out after some time, taking a deep breath. “Okay. Just listen first, please. Okay Nana?”

Gnawing his lip between his teeth, Jaemin nods before remembering that Jeno can’t see him. 

“Okay,” he whispers, hearing Jeno take another shaky breath before speaking. 

“I did um… I did have a nightmare,” he starts. “But it felt really real and I haven’t been able to fall asleep since then. In my nightmare, you kept taking those pills, and everyday they broke you more and more. Until you became unrecognizable, which I know is ridiculous, that’s not what happens in real life, but then I remembered that Donghyuck said you took the pills again this morning and I just— 

“I really, really don’t wanna lose you, Na Jaemin.” 

Even if it’s just a nightmare, and even if it’s something that won’t happen in real life, Jaemin’s heart breaks at the sound of the panic in Jeno’s voice all the same. 

“You won’t lose me,” Jaemin assures, hoping he sounds comforting enough through the phone speaker. He wishes he could give Jeno a hug right now, but that option doesn’t seem viable. “I’m not going anywhere, Jeno.”

“Baby, please stop taking the pills,” Jeno’s voice strains from his phone. “Please, never take one ever again, never deny who you are, Nana, I love you,” he pleads, and Jaemin almost wants to cry. 

“I won’t, honey,” Jaemin says. “Donghyuck threw them out, I won’t take them.” 

“Promise me,” Jeno whimpers, and Jaemin’s heart breaks all over again. 

“I promise, Jeno. I love you.”

  
  
  


Jeno hugs him extra tight the next time he sees him, despite how he’s oozing sweat from every pore after practice. 

Jaemin guesses that’s what love is like. 

“You can let go now,” Jaemin mumbles, glad his face is tucked away in Jeno’s neck so that he didn’t have to see his teammates looking at them. 

“Not yet,” Jeno whispers, only tightening his hug. 

Jaemin sighs, but lets Jeno do whatever he wants. Sometimes, words don’t console people the same way touch does, so Jaemin lets him be. 

“I smell bad though,” the younger boy says after a while, to which Jeno shakes his head. 

“You smell good,”

“I’m sweating,” Jaemin deadpans.

“Your sweat smells good—”

“Is that your kink?” Jaemin laughs, finally breaking out of Jeno’s hold. He expects to see Jeno smiling, even just a little, but the face he sees instead is Jeno biting his bottom lip and looking over Jaemin’s face, as if trying to figure out if he was really there. 

Jaemin wonders if this problem was bothering Jeno for longer than he let on, and if he was just keeping it to himself all this time. 

He doesn’t want to think that’s the case, but he also wouldn’t be surprised if it was. 

Either way, Jaemin knows now isn’t the time to talk about that. 

By now, a lot of people have left the locker rooms, which makes Jaemin comfortable enough to bring one hand up to Jeno’s face, cupping his cheek and stroking under his eye. 

“I’m here,” he whispers assuringly, proceeding to press a small kiss to the corner of Jeno’s mouth. “I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.” 

“I know,” Jeno sighs, leaning into Jaemin’s touch. He looks happy to be here, and Jaemin loves him. “I love you here.” 

The younger simply smiles again, patting Jeno’s cheek and letting him go. 

“Okay, get out now so I can change,” he says, pushing Jeno towards the direction of the locker room doors. 

Jeno only turns to look at him over his shoulder with a pout on his lips. 

“Why? Nothing I haven’t seen before,” he protests with a whine in his voice. 

Jaemin only flushes red, and all but pushes him out of the locker room. 

“I’ll be out soon,”

So Jeno heads out and waits patiently, leaning back against the wall as he scrolls through his phone. He has a couple text messages from Mark, but nothing that seems important, if what he skimmed by is anything to go by. 

He hops on a few social media apps before he hears the locker room doors creaking open, and out comes Jaemin with his soccer bag slung over his shoulders and hair wetter than when Jeno had left him. 

Maybe it sounds weird to say, but Jaemin manages to look good even after running around on a field for an hour and a half. 

“Donghyuck is blowing up my phone,” Jaemin mumbles as he stops in front of Jeno, eyes glued to his phone and sending a quick text to Donghyuck letting him know he’s with Jeno, also known as code to stop bothering him. 

Then, he pockets his phone away and smiles up at Jeno. 

“When’s your next class?” He asks, taking one of the older boy’s hands in his own and lacing their fingers together. 

“Two hours,” Jeno answers. “Yours is in two hours too, right?” 

Jaemin nods, affirmative, prompting Jeno to lead them aimlessly around campus. 

Jaemin wants to enjoy his time with Jeno before classes start, but his phone won’t stop buzzing in his pocket, easily distracting and annoying him. 

“Jesus,” Jaemin says under his breath, wiggling his phone out of his pocket using one hand. 

There’s an incoming call from Donghyuck flashing across his screen, like there has been for the past five, consecutive minutes. 

Jaemin sighs before he looks at Jeno apologetically. 

“Do you mind if I take this?” He asks, showing his screen to his boyfriend. 

“Take it, it’s whatever,” Jeno waves off, watching as Jaemin slides across his screen to answer Donghyuck’s phone call. 

“Sorry,” Jaemin apologizes sincerely, turning to speak into his phone quite violently. “What the fuck do you want?” 

Jeno chuckles to himself, and just squeezes Jaemin’s hand lightly to let him know to take it easy. 

“Stay right where you are,” Donghyuck says over the phone, rendering Jaemin really confused. 

Before he can voice this confusion though, Donghyuck hangs up, leaving Jaemin without any answers. He brings this phone down from his ear and looks at the blank screen with his eyebrows furrowed, but since it’s Donghyuck, sure enough, Jaemin gets his answers right away.

“Na Jaemin!” 

Both Jeno and Jaemin turn around at the sudden, and very loud, call of his name, and instinctively, though Jeno doesn’t know when or how it became an instinct, he pulls Jaemin closer to him and out of Donghyuck’s way, watching as Donghyuck barrels into the air. 

Mark follows behind Donghyuck disappointedly. 

“Dude,” Mark groans, and he looks embarrassed as he latches onto Donghyuck’s arm and pulls him back to him. “Can you relax?” 

“Mark Lee, you did not just call your boyfriend ‘dude’,” Donghyuck scolds with distaste, throwing Mark a disdainful look. “I can’t believe I buy flowers for you.” 

Mark at least has the audacity to look embarrassed, more embarrassed than before, and his cheeks turn a hue darker. 

“Shut up brat,” Mark mumbles, finally looking over at Jaemin and Jeno. “Hey guys,” he greets. 

The other two are still weary, the phone call being weird and then Mark and Donghyuck appearing out of nowhere unannounced being suspicious, but it’s whatever. 

“Hey,” Jeno says back, smiling cutely, like he always does. It makes Jaemin wonder if there’s even a bad bone in his body. “What’re you guys doing here?” 

“I have been looking everywhere for you,” Donghyuck hisses, pointing a finger at Jaemin. “Everywhere! We need to talk, the _four_ of us need to talk.” 

Donghyuck sounds serious, and it sends a chill down Jaemin’s spine. 

What do they need to talk about? 

Jeno seems to be able to read his mind, because he sounds just as nervous and confused as he asks,

“What do we need to talk about?” 

Neither Mark nor Donghyuck answer for a while, the both of them looking at each other and then looking back at Jeno and Jaemin. 

Finally, after what feels like hours of silence, Donghyuck speaks. 

“That lady—”

“You can call her Mom,” Jaemin interrupts, confused as to why Donghyuck keeps calling her ‘That lady’. He did the same thing a few days ago and even yesterday, and Jaemin doesn’t understand why. 

“ _That lady_ ,” Donghyuck continues, ignoring Jaemin and emphasizing his words instead. “She texted me this morning about… About Mark Lee,” he says tentatively, looking straight at Jaemin to gage his reaction. 

Along the lines of something he expected, Jaemin’s eyes immediately widen, and he instantly looks all kinds of frantic and scared. 

“Well, what did you tell her?” He asks rapidly, the curiosity of knowing if he’s ruined itching at his skin. 

It must show in his mannerisms, voice, or even scent, because soon enough, he smells a lot of Jeno’s tree bark and vodka, which instantly relaxes him and sets his head on straight. 

“What did you say?” Jaemin asks again, a bit more collectively this time, and at a more appropriate volume. 

“You’re lucky I know you,” Donghyuck tsks, crossing his arms over his chest. “And I don't know why you had to use my boyfriend’s name instead of yours, but I told her you guys were friends,” he explains. 

“Okay,” Jaemin says, nodding his head and feeling a bit better, like a weight has been lifted off of his chest. Donghyuck had played into the excuse Jaemin gave their mom, and now there shouldn’t be a reason towards why she’s suspicious. “Thanks man.” 

“Yeah? You owe me.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes, but nods his head dismissively at Donghyuck’s terms. 

Realistically, he does owe him a little anyway. 

“Is that all you wanted to say? You didn’t have to come find me,” Jaemin says, and he doesn’t know how he feels when Donghyuck shakes his head. 

What else could there possibly be? And of what else there is, does Jaemin even want to deal with it? Does he even have a choice towards if he wants to deal with it or not? 

Judging by the emotionless look on Donghyuck’s face, it doesn’t seem like it. 

“Mom wants to… Meet him. As far as she knows, he’s the only friend you’ve spent the night at.”

“But we didn’t!” Jaemin and Mark say in unison, looking more frantic than when Donghyuck had initially told Jaemin about their mom. 

“We didn’t,” Mark repeats, making eye contact with Jeno and Donghyuck, to solidify his statement. 

Donghyuck only rolls his eyes. 

“We all know that, idiot,” he sighs, smacking Mark’s arm in reprimandation. “What I’m saying is we need to think of a lie. And need to think of what to do about your scent.” 

“Wait, Mom’s actually meeting him?” Jaemin cuts in, looking at Donghyuck, completely flabbergasted. “As my friend?”

“Well, duh? Did you want that lady to meet Mark as your boyfriend or?” Donghyuck asks sarcastically. Jaemin is on the verge of rolling his eyes to the back of his head in annoyance and quite literally throttling Donghyuck by the neck, but Jeno speaks up before he can do either of those things. 

“No,” he says, taking a step closer to Mark and Donghyuck, sounding firm. 

“Dude, she won’t actually meet Mark as his boyfriend,” Donghyuck dismisses, waving his hand.

“That’s not what I mean,” Jeno argues, still sounding as firm as before, holding his ground. 

Jaemin doesn’t know what he’s going to say, but he looks serious about it, so he sends Donghyuck a look, as if begging him to just hear him out before saying anything else. 

Luckily, Donghyuck picks up on it and stays quiet, letting Jeno speak. 

“She makes Jaemin take those stupid pills,” Jeno says, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Donghyuck falter a little. He’s more focused on Jeno though, so he doesn’t tear his eyes away from him. “And she’ll make him do it again, and Jaemin _promised_ me he wouldn’t take another one.”

Jeno turns to Jaemin at that, an almost pleading look in his eyes. 

“You promised. You won’t, right?” 

He looks so desperate for an answer, sounds so desperate for an answer, and despite already knowing what he was going to say, he lets a few seconds pass between them as he stares into Jeno’s eyes. 

He’s always known, starting from somewhere, that Jeno cared about him more than anyone in his life had ever cared about him. But everyday, Jeno seems to remind him of that fact more and more, rendering him speechless with every new way he finds to express his feelings. 

And to Jaemin, that’s something unmatchable. 

Something hard to find and something you only experience once in your lifetime. 

Jaemin is never going to let himself lose that special something. 

“I won’t,” he assures, nodding his head and turning back to Donghyuck and Mark. “I said I wouldn’t take another,” he interates, firm. “And even if Mom doesn’t make me, she’s gonna ask why we don’t have anymore.” 

Jaemin raises a point, Donghyuck realizes, but he doesn’t know why to do now then. 

Their mom is stubborn, she’ll be sure to meet the so-called friend Jaemin was talking about. 

The only question now, is how they’re going to arrange the whole thing. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Donghyuck had suggested they head somewhere to talk, and the four of them agreed on a café between Jeno and Jaemin’s next classes. 

Mark and Jaemin were left in a somewhat awkward silence while Jeno and Donghyuck went to get drinks. 

Sure, Jaemin and Mark have talked here and there, the first time ever meeting being in this very café! 

But they weren’t close at all, simply acquainting each other as their brothers’ significant others. 

Jaemin knew the question was coming, but that didn’t mean he was ready for Mark to awkwardly clear his throat and sit up straighter before looking at him. 

“Um…” the older boy starts, drumming his fingers against the table top nervously. He wouldn’t say he’s intimidated by Jaemin or anything like that, if he could handle Donghyuck, he could handle anything. It’s just he doesn’t really know how to talk to him. 

For simple acquaintances, Mark knows a lot more about Jaemin than the latter has ever told him, courtesy of Donghyuck and his gigantic blabbermouth. 

“So…” Jaemin continues, hoping it’ll ease Mark into whatever he wants to say. He looks painfully constipated right now, so Jaemin decides to do his part. 

“So, why did you say my name?” Mark asks at once, getting it all out so fast it takes Jaemin a few seconds to understand what he said. 

Once he does, he ends up twiddling his thumbs as he formulates his answer. 

He knows it’s weird, why he’d bring up Mark all of a sudden. But at the time, it seemed like the right answer, despite the scent surrounding him and the scent on him belonging to Jeno. 

Bringing up Jeno at the time… Jaemin was afraid of what his parents, more especially, his mom, would have to say about him. 

Jaemin can take criticism of a friend (sorry Mark), but he doesn’t know if he’d be able to take criticism of Jeno. 

His boyfriend. 

An alpha, at that. 

“You were just the first name to come to mind,” Jaemin lies, not really keen on explaining everything in detail to Mark. “Didn’t really know if Jeno would be down to meet my parents yet, so…” He adds, and it's not really a lie. 

Jeno meeting his parents had been a concern, something he didn’t want to push onto his boyfriend just yet. 

Especially because Jeno’s disliking towards his parents was very blatant. 

“First things first, it’s not at our place,” Donghyuck clarifies as he comes back with Jeno, sitting down and sliding a cup of coffee towards Mark. 

Sure, he just interrupted the conversation he was having with Mark, but Jaemin thinks it’s better this way. They don’t have to talk one on one like this, it’ll be easier. 

“I got you a cookie too,” Jeno says, sliding over a cup and a little bag. “Oatmeal chocolate chip.”

Jeno sits down next to him with his own cup, and Jaemin sends him a small smile. Despite the situation, Jeno always seems to know what to do to put a smile on his face and lighten the mood. 

At this point, it doesn’t even surprise him anymore, it’s like a hidden talent Jeno has. 

“Thank babe. I agree, not our place,” Jaemin says, nodding his head and taking his cookie out. He turns to face Donghyuck after taking his first sip of coffee, looking between him and Mark. “Mark’s place?”

“My place,” Jeno suggests, leaning back into his chair. “Your mom—”

“That lady,” Donghyuck cuts off, rendering everyone silent for a few seconds before Jeno clears his throat and looks at Donghyuck before continuing. 

“Right, um, that lady already knows what I smell like. If it were at Mark’s place, it’d be weird that she wouldn’t smell me at all.” 

Jeno raises a valid point, but Jaemin can tell he’s nervous about the whole thing. Jeno’s leg won’t stop bouncing up and down under the table, so to calm him down, Jaemin puts a hand on his thigh, hoping it'd relax him a bit. 

Thankfully, Jeno stops, and just places an equally comforting hand atop of his, which is how they sit while continuing the conversation. 

“Okay, so we bring her to Jeno’s. Do we say his name is Mark, or…?” Mark asks, and everyone seems to nod at the same time. 

“I guess,” Jaemin agrees. “She doesn’t know what either of you look like, so I’m pretty sure it’ll work.”

“What if your mom hired a private investigator to look into Mark Lee when you mentioned my name?” Mark jokes, only to see Donghyuck and Jaemin share a look. 

Donghyuck and Jaemin weren’t laughing. 

Mark’s throat dries up. 

“Would she—”

“Wouldn’t put it past her,” Donghyuck mumbles, blind to the way Mark gulps. 

“Relax man,” Jeno says, trying to ease the tension which crawled into the air. “We’ll be fine. She’ll believe us, it’ll be cool,” he assures, and everyone can tell he’s trying to motivate them. 

Jaemin appreciates it, but he wonders this time, if Jeno’s motivation will be enough to sail through their plan smoothly. 

  
  
  


“I texted her saying she could come over next week,” Donghyuck announces, coming into Jaemin’s room without even knocking. 

Jaemin is way too used to it, which is why he stopped locking his door altogether. He found it way too unnecessary to get up every time to unlock the door when he knows Donghyuck won’t leave despite the lock. 

“Okay,” Jaemin sighs, closing the textbook he was reading from. He doubts he can go back to concentrating on his schoolwork after Donghyuck brought up the topic of their mom visiting. 

Every time it’s mentioned, it sends nerves through his entire system, makes his head spin in the worst ways. 

He doesn’t want his mom to meet Jeno, he doesn’t want Jeno to meet his mom, but because of his slip up, it seems like that’s the only solution to get her off their cases. 

“Loosen up,” Donghyuck chimes, skipping over to behind Jaemin’s desk chair. He rubs the younger’s shoulders playfully, leaning forward with his chin on Jaemin’s head. “It’ll be fine.”

“Easy for you to say, you're not the omega,” Jaemin scoffs, feeling Donghyuck tighten his hug around his shoulders immediately after he speaks. 

He knows that Donghyuck doesn’t necessarily like it when Jaemin says these things, or brings himself down because of his biology, but in a situation like this, he can’t help himself. 

It’s not like he’s even lying, their biology is the reason why Donghyuck and Jisung aren’t on the brute end of their parents’ behaviour. 

Not saying Jaemin wishes Jisung or Donghyuck to ever go through what he went through, he wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. But the fact that Donghyuck manages to remind him how easy going he is about life, never thinking about how he smells, going about his day without a sick feeling in his stomach, freely being in a relationship with someone, doesn’t make him feel the best. 

And although Jaemin knows Donghyuck doesn’t do it on purpose, doesn’t try to make him feel bad, he isn’t good at watching himself either. 

Jaemin could never get mad at Donghyuck for something like this, at the end of the day, the blame falls solely on their parents’ shoulders. 

The only thing he wishes, is for Donghyuck to be self aware before saying things like that. 

“Dude…”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry for bringing it up,” Jaemin sighs, swivelling around in his chair and facing his brother. There’s a little frown on his face, Jaemin can tell he feels guilty, and he doesn’t want Donghyuck to feel guilty. “I’m serious. It’s just a habit, I’ll grow out of it soon,” he says lightly.

But the look he gets back from Donghyuck is anything but light. 

“Jaemin,” he sighs, and Jaemin mentally sighs as well. This is going to be another one of _those_ conversations. He doesn’t hate that Donghyuck tries to talk through their problems, and especially that Donghyuck tries to talk through how he’s feeling, but he doesn’t really want to do that now. “You should stop looking at yourself like that. Like _just_ an omega. You’re so much more than that, I know you know that.”

Jaemin sighs, but this time audibly, and swivels back around so that Donghyuck wouldn’t have to see his face. 

Does he know that? 

Jeno and Renjun always tell him that, and at given chances Donghyuck and Jisung do too. 

But it’s hard for him to accept that when he’s lived so much of his life thinking that he was inferior, thinking that he wasn’t deserving of a lot because of what he presented as. 

It didn’t help that he never had the best examples to look up to, a family full of alphas, only to be disappointed when he presented as an omega. 

In some ways, it’s like a… Burden. 

A burden to carry, to try and be perfect. 

A burden to carry, to fit into what’s expected of him. 

A burden to carry, to make his parents proud. 

Jaemin wonders, that if he hadn’t been put up for adoption, if he would be leading a different life. 

Would he have ever met Donghyuck and Jisung? 

Would he have ever met Renjun and Yukhei?

Would he have ever met Jeno and Mark? 

Would he have… 

Would he have been happy with being an omega?

These are questions Jaemin doesn’t think about often, because he doesn’t think about what his life would've been like if he hadn’t been adopted. It’s not something that could happen anymore, so he usually doesn’t like spending time thinking about it. 

But as he hears Donghyuck’s words, he can’t help but wonder. 

Does he know that he’s so much more than what he’s let himself become? 

Does he know that he’s more than the pills he’s taken for years? 

Does he know that he’s his own person, his own being outside of what his parents want?

It’s unfortunate for himself to admit that he doesn’t have an answer. 

For years, he hasn’t known if he was worth it when he’d been stuck at the orphanage for years on end, watching his friends come and go as they get adopted into lovely families. 

And once he finally thought he was out of the gruesome cycle of just watching, his adoptive parents try to change who he is completely, and he lets them. 

He doesn’t know if he’s more than the cards life has dealt him, but he agrees that one day, he’d like to be something more than his past. 

Jaemin just really doesn’t know, if that’s someday soon.

“I know that,” he lies, because he doesn’t want to tell Donghyuck the truth. That’s a whole can of worms he doesn’t think he’s ready to open up, and it’s nice to keep some things to himself. Donghyuck, Jisung, Mark and Jeno know a lot about him than he ever planned to let on, and having these little things makes him feel at peace. 

Perhaps one day, he’ll tell them all. 

He’ll tell them that he’s struggling. 

But for now, keeping this to himself feels right. 

  
  
  


“Hey um…”

Jaemin is characteristically shy as he tries to initiate a conversation with Jeno, the only difference is that this time, he’s shy when they’re alone. 

He’s normally never this timid when they’re alone, finding no reason to be when there’s just Jeno around. He’s grown extremely comfortable with him, and he doesn’t find a reason to hide himself. 

But as he’s sitting on his bed, watching Jeno play a game on his computer at his desk, he can’t help but nervously pick at his cuticles. 

What he’s about to say… Jeno really, _really_ won’t take it well. 

“Yeah? What’s up?” Jeno asks, still facing the screen as he talks. He’s in the middle of a round, so Jaemin decides to just wait until he’s done. 

“Finish your game first,” he says, expecting Jeno to listen to him. 

Instead, Jeno just takes his headphones off and turns to look at him completely, ignoring the game still going on behind him. 

It may just be a video game, but it’s another thing which reminds Jaemin of how much Jeno puts on hold for him. 

Sleeping at night? Paused for when Jaemin can’t sleep and calls him. 

Study time in the library? Paused for when Jaemin has a class and Jeno wants to walk him there. 

Even wanting the last piece of sushi is paused because Jeno knows how much Jaemin loves sushi. 

It’s from the smallest things to the bigger things, but Jeno is always pausing, sacrificing, and showing his best to Jaemin. 

Wearing his heart on his sleeve, vocalizing his adoration, conveying his feelings with intimate touches, Jeno doesn’t go a day without making Jaemin feel loved. 

And he knows the proper way to thank Jeno, to repay him, isn't to say what he’s about to say. 

It’s not fair, and Jaemin knows that. 

He’s always thinking about himself in these types of situations, but he knows that once this is over, he won’t be focusing on protecting himself. No one else is in the danger zone besides him as of now and if Jaemin keeps it together… 

Then after this weekend, everyone will be cleared. 

He just needs until this weekend, but he knows that even the few short days before the weekend could be enough to rattle them to the core. 

“I’m listening,” Jeno smiles, and Jaemin is snapped out of his thoughts. 

As he looks in front of him at Jeno, and how Jeno is smiling at him, as if appreciating his mere presence in the room with him, Jaemin knows it isn’t fair. 

But it’s for the best. 

It’s for everyone’s best. 

“I love you,” Jaemin says, prefacing what he really wants to say with his confession, hoping that it’ll soften the blow and remind Jeno that he really does love him. 

Jeno might need the reminder, after tonight. 

“Is that it?” Jeno teases, and because of the soft look on his face, Jaemin knows he doesn’t mean it. He rolls forward a little in the chair, until he’s sitting right in front of where Jaemin is sitting at the edge of the bed. “I love you too.” 

And because he can’t help it, and because he’s hopelessly in love with Jeno, Jaemin leans in and kisses him. 

It’s short but it’s sweet, and it means the world. 

Jaemin knows that Jeno knows that. 

So he hopes he understands. 

“Jen, I…” Jaemin starts, finding it hard to find the words inside of him. No, he doesn’t want to do this, and he doesn’t even want to tell Jeno, but it’s only fair, and in this situation, Jaemin will do what’s fair. “I have to take the scent blocker and the scent mocker this weekend.” 

Jaemin expects it, but that doesn’t mean seeing Jeno’s face completely crumble at his words is any easier. 

Jeno looks positively devastated at the revelation, and Jaemin wants nothing more than to turn back time, take it back, make it like he never said anything. 

But that wouldn’t be a good decision. 

Jeno deserves to know. 

“What?” Jeno asks, and he sounds heartbroken. 

He sounds so heartbroken that it ruins Jaemin, but despite how hard this is, it has to be done. 

“I have to take them,” he repeats, and it’s then, that he watches the solemn look on Jeno’s face turn into something more angry. 

“You promised,” Jeno accuses, rolling a bit away from Jaemin and putting distance between them. 

Jaemin hates the distance. 

“You promised you wouldn’t take anything anymore.”

“It’s not a suppressant, it’s only a blocker—”

“But you said you wouldn’t take _any_ ,” Jeno cuts off, and Jaemin knows it’s true. It’s valid, Jeno is right, but he doesn’t have a choice. 

Not now. 

Not anymore. 

“Jeno, I _have_ to,” he insists, standing up from the bed when he sees Jeno do the same. “I can’t let my mom know, she can’t know I’ve stopped taking them. It’d be hell for me, babe.” He explains, though he doesn’t know how much is actually registering into Jeno’s brain. 

With the way he’s pacing around Jaemin’s room, the latter wouldn’t be surprised if everything was going in one ear and out the other. 

“Why can’t you? Who cares what she does? You want to be done with her, Jaemin, you don’t need her!” Jeno argues. 

Well, Jaemin wouldn’t really call it arguing, he’s just stating facts. Everything Jeno is saying, he’s only saying because Jaemin has told him this before. 

There’s only one thing though,

“I need her,” 

“You don’t! You don’t need her for a thing,” Jeno protests, looking exasperated at the mere fact that he heard Jaemin say such a thing. 

“I need her, Jeno, _we_ need her,” Jaemin reiterates, hoping his word choice would make what he means clearer. “I need her money, I need to finish school, Jeno. I can’t live here and I can’t study here if she doesn’t pay. Donghyuck can’t either, and Jisung’s education is out the window. Jeno, you _know_ they’d foolishly stand by me. If I go down, so do they.” 

Jeno wastes no time in firing back. 

“One thing,” he says slowly, though the emotion and disappointment is still clear as day in his voice. “I give you everything, I never ask questions. I’m patient and I love you entirely, and you can’t even promise me one thing?” 

When Jeno puts it like that, Jaemin feels terrible. 

Even more terrible when Jeno’s scent becomes unbearable with the more upset he’s getting, tree bark smelling burnt and vodka smelling like it was lit up into flames as well. 

“It’s not like it’d even benefit me!” Jeno laughs sarcastically, not giving Jaemin the chance to speak. “This is for _you_ , it’s so that _you_ can be happy, and be yourself, and… And you won’t even do this for yourself, wow, Na Jaemin…” 

Jaemin never wants to hear Jeno sound this disappointed in him ever, never wants to hear Jeno sound this upset ever again. 

But he can’t do anything about it. 

His decision is made. 

And not even Jeno can change his mind. 

“I have to,” Jaemin insists, but he wonders if it was the right thing to do when he sees all the fight leave Jeno’s body, and can practically smell the defeat coming from him. 

“If after everything I’ve told you, you still choose to do that… Then you just proved it, Jaemin,” Jeno scoffs, looking at him upset. 

“Proved what?”

Although Jaemin is scared to ask, he still does. It doesn’t sit right with him, not knowing. 

According to the look on Jeno’s face, whatever he’s about to say doesn’t sit right with him either. 

“That I’ve failed to love you.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The only texts Jeno sends him are good morning and goodnight texts, he still waits for him after his soccer practice whenever he can, and he still walks him to class. 

But it’s all while there’s this palpable, unwanted tension between them, constantly rendering them both aware of what’s happened. 

They don’t even kiss anymore, and every time Jaemin tries to, Jeno always dodges and just kisses his cheek with a gentle smile before telling him he has to go. 

Jaemin doesn’t know what’s worse at this point, seeing Jeno but being this weird with him, or not seeing him at all and getting the silent treatment. 

Like this, Jaemin still knows that Jeno cares, but it’s awkward and weird because he’s more subdued than before. 

It’s not the Jeno he’s used to. 

It’s not the Jeno he knows. 

But in a way, he guesses he can’t blame anyone but himself for that. 

He just hopes that Jeno can understand soon, hopefully before or by the time this weekend rolls around. 

He couldn’t have anything jeopardizing his mother buying his excuse and meeting his ‘friend’, hopefully after that she’ll leave him alone. It’s not like she visits much anymore, and as long as he keeps stuff for his scent laying around when she does, he thinks he’ll be fine. 

Actually, maybe he doesn’t even have to be the one who’s there when his parents come over, maybe he could convince Donghyuck to deal with them until they graduate. 

That seems like a good idea, though he doubts how much of them Donghyuck can actually put up with before ripping his hair out. For him though, he knows that Donghyuck will at least try. 

Today, it’s Thursday, and Jeno is leaning with his back against the change room lockers while he taps away at his phone. There aren’t many other people here, just him and Jeno, and normally they’d use this time to talk, or Jeno would at least be standing closer to him then he is now. 

But instead, today Jaemin is left to change in the quiet, the only sounds coming from him. He doesn’t even know why Jeno still bothers showing up and waiting for him if he isn’t going to talk. 

A bit frustrated, today Jaemin slams his locker door shut harder than he normally would’ve, and feels a bit of satisfaction course through him when Jeno jumps at the loud sound. 

He doesn’t bother looking back to see if Jeno is following him when he starts to make his way towards the door, simply preening his ears to catch his footsteps and taking the time to consciously sniff the air for his scent. 

Jaemin feels a little better once he can confirm that Jeno is following him, but that doesn’t last when he just continues to walk behind him, not bothering to pick up his pace and come beside him. 

Beyond anything, he’s frustrated. 

What doesn’t Jeno understand? 

It’s not like he wants to do this, he doesn’t want to ever go near a pill again. But he doesn’t have a choice here, does he? 

He’d be ruined if his mother found out that he doesn’t take his pills, and who knows what she might make him do as a consequence. She’s a psycho, Jeno knows this, and he’s terrified for what could happen if she knew the truth. 

And it’s not like he wants to hide Jeno under the title of a friend when he’s _so_ much more than that, but his parents would have his head on a chopping board if they knew he was dating an alpha. 

He had to be the blueprint alpha, he had to makeup for being an omega. He had to be fit, play sports, date and eventually mate an omega, and he wasn’t allowed to seek help from others. 

Jaemin is supposed to be in this on his own, and he’s grateful he isn’t. 

But just for this weekend, he needs his parents, more specifically his mom, to think he’s alone. 

He wouldn’t ever forgive himself if he was the reason why something happened to Jeno, or if his parents were the reason why they stopped seeing each other. 

“What is your problem?” Jaemin finally snaps, turning around abruptly and barely flinching when Jeno walks into him. 

Jaemin isn’t surprised that he can’t gage anything off of Jeno’s face, the latter has been making it exceptionally difficult to understand him without words. 

Jaemin used to always be able to tell how he was feeling off of his facial expressions, but Jeno isn’t granting him that anymore. 

At least he still has Jeno’s scent to go by, and feels a weird type of satisfaction course through him when he can smell the guilt wafting from his boyfriend. 

“I don’t have a problem,” Jeno says, gulping and trying to walk around Jaemin. “Let’s get you to class, come on.” 

“No,”

Jeno stops walking then, turning around to look at where Jaemin has his arms crossed over his chest, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. Jeno knows he only does that when he’s trying to calm himself down from saying something he might regret. 

“I’m not going anywhere, until we talk,” he says, standing his ground. “This is stupid of us.” 

As per always, because Jeno can’t stand to make Jaemin more upset than he already is, the older boy sighs and walks over, closing the distance between them. 

“What?” He asks, though he doesn’t have a bite to his tone like Jaemin does. It makes the latter wonder if he ever does get annoyed by him. 

“What do you mean ‘what’? I want you to understand why I’m doing this. Do you?”

Jaemin doesn’t take the outstretched silence as a good thing, finding it answer enough, how Jeno has to think about it. 

“Jeno, are you serious? It’s not like I want to,” Jaemin scoffs, finding Jeno’s reaction towards him unbelievable. 

And Jeno even knows how much he hates those pills, so why doesn’t he understand that he doesn’t have another choice? 

“Then don't take them,” Jeno says back, eyebrows furrowing in the middle as if he didn’t understand why Jaemin kept insisting he had to. 

And that’s the part that makes Jaemin angry. Jeno does understand, he knows, somewhere beneath all his sadness and anger, why Jaemin has to take them this weekend. 

“You know that’s not an option,” the younger hisses, glaring at Jeno. 

It’s not that hard to understand. 

“You don’t ever have to do something you don’t want to, Jaemin,” Jeno says firmly, and the words rings bells in his ears, because Jeno always says this. 

From day one, he’s always tried his best to remind Jaemin that he never had to do something he didn’t want to. 

“Then what else do you want me to do Jeno?” Jaemin asks loudly, letting his irritation bleed through his words. He throws both his arms up in exasperation, looking at Jeno and waiting for an answer. “What do you suggest I do, huh?” 

“Don’t do anything! I’m here Jaemin, I’m always here for you. You don’t need to worry, you don’t need those stupid pills or anything. I’m right here—” Jeno takes a few steps closer, bridging their gap completely and taking one of the younger's hands into his own. “You don’t want my help?” 

When Jaemin looks at Jeno, he looks confused. Like he genuinely doesn’t understand why Jaemin wouldn’t want his help. 

“It’s not whether I want it or not,” Jaemin says calmly, careful with his words so that Jeno doesn’t get the wrong idea. “It’s what I need, Jeno. This is my mother, and of course I want your help, but your help would be to pretend to be my friend, and letting me take those pills. That’s what I need to do, Jeno.” 

“But they hurt you,” Jeno whispers, like talking about them brought him pain too. And Jaemin wouldn’t be surprised if it did. “They bring you farther away from who you are.”

“I’m pretty sure I know the effects, Jeno-ya. I can’t even have my own puppies anymore, remember?” 

Jeno’s eyes snap to his own immediately at that, widened and frantic. 

“That’s not what I mean—”

“I know,” Jaemin cuts off, finally squeezing Jeno’s hand back. “I’m just saying, I know what I’m getting myself into. And I’ve already lost so much to these three tiny things, to my own mom, and I’m ready to just… Get it over with.” 

Jeno doesn’t say anything, simply looks conflicted, and for once, Jaemin is glad he stays quiet. It means he’s holding himself back from saying something, because it’s quite clear, where he stands with all of this. 

“All I need is for you to support me. Because I… I don’t know how I’m going to feel after taking them,” Jaemin shrugs, weakly smiling at the older boy. “Not well, I assume.” 

“Jaemin…” 

“It’ll be okay, Jeno,” he assures, trying his hardest to muster up a convincing smile, despite how dread seeps into him and despite how he knows Jeno will be able to tell he’s lying. “Just, stay with me, okay? That’s what I _want_ and _need_ from you.” 

Jeno still looks hesitant, still looks like he’s against every word that came out of Jaemin’s mouth, still looks like he doesn’t want to do this. 

But he still sighs, nods his head, and pulls Jaemin into a tight hug. 

And that’s how he knows that Jeno really does put him before everything else in the world, even his own heart. 

So for that, Jaemin hugs him back just as tight. 

  
  
  


Saturday rolls around sooner than anyone would have liked, and Jaemin finds his hands shaking as he attempts to tie his laces properly. 

“Your… Pills are on the counter,” Donghyuck says quietly, cocking his head in the direction of the kitchen. 

His voice snaps Jaemin out of his own thoughts, so he quickly finishes tying his shoes and gets up. 

“You’re gonna make me walk all the way over to them?” He teases, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water. Just as he takes the two little tablets in his hand, Donghyuck speaks. 

“I don’t want to be the one who hands them to you.”

Understatement washes over Jaemin in that moment, and the air around them is no longer teasing or lighthearted. It’s very obvious that Donghyuck is against this probably as much as Jeno is. 

“Thanks for that,” Jaemin whispers, sincerely, and takes the pills without wasting another second. 

It’s kind of terrifying, how routine it feels despite it being a while since he’s last had to take them. It’s also kind of refreshing, to know that it was a burden for him for him to take these. 

Before, it used to be a burden when he _didn’t_ take them. 

“I don’t wanna take them either,” Jaemin continues, walking out of the kitchen and hoping to make the atmosphere less tense. “But mom—”

“Why do you keep calling her that?” Donghyuck snaps, glaring at Jaemin when he looks at him. “Is she a mom to you?” 

Jaemin is a bit taken aback by Donghyuck’s sudden aggression, so he doesn’t manage to answer right away. Instead, he stays quiet and watches Donghyuck’s eyes shift through anger and frustration. 

“Because she’s not a mom to me,” Donghyuck continues after the silence has drawn out long enough. “And she isn’t one to Jisung either, if you were wondering.” 

It’s then, that Jaemin finally sighs. 

“You guys have been with her for a long time,” he argues softly. He knows that their mother hadn’t really been a mother to him, but it’s still hard to accept that. Doesn’t that mean that he’s lived without a mom his entire life? It sounds scary to him, and it’s like a safety, knowing he at least had one. Her unfair treatment had only ever been directed towards Jaemin, so he doesn’t see how she wasn't a mother to Donghyuck and Jisung. “You guys love her.”

“Don’t tell me that I love her, when I lost all my respect for her the moment I found out the truth about you,” Donghyuck fights back, words firm. “She’s discriminatory and doesn’t value everyone as an equal. She doesn’t let you do what you really want to, and she’s controlling!” 

When Donghyuck puts it like that, despite Jaemin always knowing it, it’s easy to see how horrible their mom really is. 

If Jaemin could even call her that anymore. 

“The worst part is that I can’t even do anything about this, Jaemin. Jisung needs their money, and we do too. We can only cut them off completely after Jisung graduates, so Jaemin, if she got to choose whether she wanted me as a kid or not, I get to choose if I want her as a mother or not. And I don’t.” 

“Okay,” Jaemin agrees softly, nodding his head to show Donghyuck he understands. He doesn’t want his brother to get more riled up right now, of all times, not now. “I should get going though.”

“Yeah, you should,” Donghyuck mumbles, leaning back against the wall and relaxing himself. “I already can’t smell you.” 

Jaemin gulps, and nods his head again once before heading out. 

His nerves are eating him alive as he takes the fifteen minute walk to Jeno’s dorm. Timing wise, if everything goes smoothly, he should be arriving at Jeno’s an hour before his… 

… Before _that lady_ gets there, which gives them enough time to make sure his scent is nowhere around. Jeno already said he has some gym bags where they can shove all the clothes which smell like him in, and other things, like pillows and blankets. 

She’ll only be there for a while, but she’s already suspicious as is. It’s a lot of work for what could only be ten minutes, maximum, but it’s what has to be done to keep Jaemin’s secret. 

He remembers a time where his secret was convincing everyone he was an alpha, and finds it funny how now it’s only to convince that lady that he’s an alpha. 

Sure, going back to the mentality where he feigns an alpha and ‘expected’ alpha mannerisms is difficult, but he’ll be okay… He thinks. 

He has people to go back to now, and they should make everything easier. 

It’s with that thought in mind that Jaemin knocks on Jeno’s door, the latter opening it immediately and dragging him inside. 

Jaemin is about to greet him, say hello, maybe a peck, but the hand that Jeno used to drag him in abruptly lets go, and Jaemin looks up to see Jeno’s heartbroken face, and downturned lips. 

He’s about to ask what’s wrong, despite there obviously being so many things wrong today, but Jeno says something before he can. 

“You… Cedarwood…” 

And then, Jaemin aches for Jeno. 

Because the one thing Jeno has always been in love with, was his scent. 

Not his cedarwood and cumin, but his peaches and Rosé. 

And today, on the day that mattered the most to Jaemin, the day that he needed Jeno to keep himself cool, Jeno’s one source of assurance and comfort is gone. 

Jeno knew it was going to happen, the whole reason Jaemin is here at this time is to make sure the dorm doesn’t smell like him, but it hurts differently now that they’re actually doing it. 

It’s like getting smacked in the face with reality. 

Normally, he’s optimistic, but Jeno really, _really_ hates today’s reality. 

“I’m sorry,” Jaemin sighs, snapping Jeno out of his thoughts. “It’ll be over before you even know it. I promise babe, come on.”

And then Jaemin takes Jeno’s hand and leads them both to the latter’s bedroom, where they get to work immediately. 

It’s only once they start cleaning things out that they both realize Jaemin leaves a bunch of things here. A lot of clothing items and pillows are a mix between Jeno and Jaemin’s scents, and thankfully the younger’s is more subdued because of how long it’s been since he’s touched any of those things. 

“This is ridiculous,” Jeno grumbles as he zips up their final bag, shoving it deep somewhere inside of his closet. “I hate every second of this.”

Jaemin sighs again, understanding, but also at a loss. Nothing he can say will make Jeno like this situation any better, but maybe something he can say will make him tolerate it more. 

“I hate this too, trust me,” he assures, sitting down onto the floor next to Jeno. They’re side by side with their legs crossed and shoulders touching. “It’ll be over in an hour, maybe, and then it’s _over_. Completely.” 

Jeno takes in a deep breath, grabbing Jaemin’s hand and leaning his head onto the younger’s shoulder. 

“I seriously hate you for doing this,” he mumbles, squeezing Jaemin’s hand harder after he says that. “But I love you more than I hate you.” 

Even in the worst times, even in this situation, Jeno manages to make Jaemin smile genuinely, even if it is just a quirk of his lips. It’s more than he’s smiled all day, so it definitely goes for something. 

“I’m sorry about this,” Jaemin whispers, kissing the top of Jeno’s head. “I love you too.” 

  
  
  


It was with tremendous effort that Jaemin managed to keep from grabbing onto Jeno’s hand for comfort. 

It was also with tremendous effort that he remembers to address Jeno as ‘Mark’. 

“Where is your brother?” She asks once she greets Jeno, in the overly sugary way she does with strangers. Jaemin thinks it would’ve worked on Jeno if he didn’t know how she really was. 

“He has a class right now,” Jaemin lies, trying to be nonchalant. He has to act like Jeno is his friend, and that Jeno doesn’t know that his mother is a psychotic lady. 

“Nice to meet you, Ma’am,” Jeno smiles, all half moons and everything else Jaemin loves, and he can’t believe his mother gets to see such a lovely sight. 

As if she deserved it. 

“Yes, hello. I just like to meet all of Jaeminnie’s friends, he’s a bit of a reckless one,” she laughs, and Jaemin forces a smile on his face too. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Jeno do the same thing. 

“Well, he’s a great friend,” Jeno says, nodding his head cheerily. “He helps me with my homework a lot too.”

At least that wasn’t a lie, Jaemin usually ends up spending the night because he’s been helping Jeno with his homework for hours, and helping him study for upcoming quizzes and tests. 

“Right… What is it that you’re studying, Mark?” 

Jeno almost lets too many beats of silence pass through them before he remembers that _he’s_ supposed to be Mark.

“Medical, um yeah… I’m going to apply to medical school after graduation,” he answers, looking between Jaemin and his mom awkwardly. 

“Oh so you’re smart?” She teases, to which the other two boys laugh awkwardly. “And an alpha, right?” 

Both of their laughter ceases simultaneously at that, and Jaemin looks around, pretending that the question doesn’t affect him much. 

Though from his peripheral, Jeno can see how he wrings his hands behind his back, his nervous habit. 

“Yes, Ma’am,” he smiles, trying to pretend like everything is okay. 

But everything is not okay, especially when he sees a wide smile stretch into her face, like she was proud with his answer. 

Like she was proud of _him._

And that sends the sickest feeling to his gut. 

“That’s good,” she nods, and the proud look on her face dims a little when she turns back to Jaemin. “That’s honourable.” 

Jaemin flinches beside him just a tiny bit, and Jeno wants to immediately deny those woman’s words. 

But he can’t. 

Because he’s stuck acting clueless. 

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Mark,” she says when she turns back to Jeno, who almost forgets he’s ‘Mark’, once again. 

“Oh, y-yeah, you too,” he grins while reluctantly accepting her outstretched hand. 

He wants to douse his hand in bleach after that, but tries not to let that show. 

“And Jaemin, sweetie have you been taking your vitamins?” She asks, looking back at Jeno with a kind smile. “My baby is awfully forgetful.”

_Not your baby,_ Jeno almost wants to say, but again, he bites his tongue and holds himself back. _He’s my baby._

“Yes, Mama,” Jaemin answers quietly, and Jeno can tell he’s trying to hold back the urge to move out of her hold when she cups his cheeks. 

Jeno wants to do something at how she’s touching him, she doesn’t deserve to put a single finger on Jaemin, and he feels useless when he remembers he can’t do anything. 

“Everyday, right?” She sounds sterner now, and Jeno hates the tone she’s using to talk to Jaemin. 

“Mhm,” Jaemin nods, and when Jeno looks at his back, his hands are still there. Except this time, he’s clenching them into fists. 

“Good. Love you, Jaeminnie.” 

And Jeno wishes that Jaemin would hold his ground, he wishes that he didn’t see the way his fists loosen and the way his eyes soften just a smidge. 

It hurts him too, because it’s probably because of this _‘Love you’_ or _‘I love you’_ phrase Jaemin has heard his mother say, that he spent all these years pretending to be an alpha, thinking that was the only way he’d be liked. 

Because Jaemin’s mother doesn’t love _Jaemin_. 

She loves the Jaemin she _created_. 

His boyfriend looks like he believes that lady’s words, because at the end of the day, for a while, this was Jaemin’s mother. And he didn’t know the full effects of her actions until he grew up. 

Until now, she’s the only mother he knows of. The only one he remembers. 

So Jeno feels that sick feeling from earlier come back tenfold when he hears Jaemin say, 

“Love you too, Mama.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s only fifteen minutes after his mother had left, so Jaemin is surprised when he hears a knock on the door. 

Except it’s not normal knocking, it’s more of a frantic knocking. 

And if Jaemin listens close enough, it sounds like a pattern against the door. 

“Jen—”

“It’s just Mark,” Jeno sighs, getting up from his seat at the table and making his way towards the door. “We use a specific knock on each other’s doors. Means there’s something important,” he explains as he opens the door. 

“I’m sorry,” Donghyuck says as he walks in, shoving past Mark and leaving the other to grumble under his breath. “I’m sorry, Jaem, I should’ve come too—”

“No,” Jaemin sighs, accepting Donghyuck when the older boy throws himself at him. “That would’ve made her more suspicious. I’m just glad you’re here now.” 

“And not me?”

Jaemin looks around Donghyuck’s frame when a familiar voice asks that question, and he has no doubt that his eyes sparkle when they land on Jisung. 

“Sung,” Jaemin gasps, moving out of Donghyuck’s hug and making his way to Jisung. “How have you been? You better have kept your mouth shut, Donghyuck and I are going to find jobs—”

“ _We are_?” Donghyuck asks confusedly, earning a glare from Jaemin. 

“ _Yes_ , we are,” be seethes, turning back to Jisung as the loving gaze in his eyes returns. “So don’t worry at all, okay? Just a few more months, and you can live with us, and after a few years of saving up, we won’t need them. You applied here, right?” 

“Hyung, calm down,” Jisung giggles, patting the older boy’s head. “Everything will work out. You just focus on getting better.” 

Jaemin immediately softens at those words, letting Jisung breathe by stepping out of his space. 

Sometimes it really hits Jaemin how much Jisung has grown up, and now is a great example of that. It seems like this time, Jisung is the one taking consideration of him. 

“Not to bring the mood down,” Mark speaks up, clearing his throat and walking into the living room to join the rest of the boys. 

“No. Don’t talk. I don’t need the mood downing further,” Jeno groans, flopping down onto the couch, dragging Jaemin down with him. The omega yelps before he's being squished in between Jeno’s arms, kisses being repeatedly pressed to his head. “No more bad news.” 

“Jen,” Mark says pointedly, ignoring everything his brother had just said. “Tomorrow’s Sunday?” 

“So?” Jeno mumbles, leaning his head on Jaemin’s head, and looking at Mark. “What’s Sunday supposed to be?”

Mark only sighs, giving Donghyuck what seems to be a pained look before turning back to Jeno. He’s pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, and Jaemin briefly wonders if this is a common occurrence between the two of them. 

“We’re supposed to go see Mom and Dad?” Mark says, reminding Jeno as if it were something obvious. 

And apparently it was, because then Jeno’s eyes widen, completely comically, and he’s sitting up straight within a second.

Jaemin however, feels an immediate sense of fear rush through him, something he feels is irrational. Something about Jeno not being close around him after today makes his gut swirl with an ugly feeling. 

But before his actions can catch up to his brain, he’s already holding onto Jeno’s arm tightly. 

“No!” He immediately says, shaking his head. Jaemin has failed to recognize all the heads which turn to his direction, as his face slowly flushes red with the realization of what he just did. 

He’s only looking at Jeno as he lets embarrassment sink in, loosening his grip and pointedly ignoring the way Donghyuck snickers. 

“I mean,” he corrects, clearing his throat. “No, don’t go so soon,” he whines playfully, hoping his grimace isn’t noticeable over the way his sarcastic tone bleeds through. 

“You’re a terrible liar,” Mark notes.

“I wasn’t lying!” Jaemin argues, though his voice goes up a pitch and he feels his face flush again. “And even if I was, Jeno didn’t know!” 

“Baby—”

“Shut up,” Jaemin grumbles, accepting his inevitable defeat. “You didn’t say anything about visiting your parents…” 

Jeno has the decency to look a bit guilty as he winces, ruffling Jaemin’s hair in attempts to console him. It doesn’t work, but Jaemin appreciates the gesture all the same. 

“I honestly forgot about it,” he sighs, looking back at Mark with a pained expression. “Do I have to go.”

It’s vehemently obvious to everyone in the room that Jeno doesn’t want to leave Jaemin alone for the day, especially after today’s events. He couldn’t even promise standby via text messages and phone calls, he’s always busy when he goes to visit his parents. 

Jeno knows he wouldn’t feel good at all if Jaemin were to leave him to his own devices for the day right after something as emotionally taxing as today happened. 

Jaemin almost feels bad too, he doesn’t want to be the person holding Jeno back from going to see his parents, from what he’s heard they have a lovely relationship. Just because he doesn’t have a relationship like that with his parents, doesn’t mean he can be selfish and stop Jeno from having one. 

Though he admits, he would’ve liked to laze around with Jeno all day; his scent and warmth does wonders when he’s not feeling the greatest. 

“Just… Bring Jaemin with you,” Mark suggests, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly, like it wasn’t a big deal to meet Jeno’s parents. “I’m bringing Hyuck anyways.”

“ _You are?_ ” Donghyuck shrieks, mouth open wide in shock. 

Jaemin knows then that Mark didn’t actually talk to Donghyuck about this, but he appreciates Mark trying to make him feel hopeful. 

“ _Yes_ , I am,” Mark hisses, trying to send Donghyuck the memo to just go with it. “I asked you last week, remember babe?” 

In honesty, Jaemin knows Donghyuck doesn’t remember, because it didn’t happen, because of the way his eyes fleet between Mark and himself for a few seconds. 

Again though, he appreciates the thought.

“It’s okay,” Jaemin speaks up, waving a hand dismissively, as if this was more casual than any of them were taking it. “I wouldn’t wanna intrude on family time…” 

Jeno's eyebrows furrow at this, and despite not thinking about this option before, now it’s all he can contemplate after Mark had mentioned it. 

Plus, it doesn’t seem like a bad idea. It’s about time, actually. 

“You should meet my parents,” he says, looking firm and confident with his words. 

It makes Jaemin believe that Jeno actually wants him to meet his parents.

“But—” He starts to protest, clearly intimidated by the prospect of meeting Jeno’s parents. He can barely hold a proper conversation with his own parents, how was he supposed to hold a conversation with his boyfriend’s parents? 

“No buts,” Jeno cuts off. “They’ll love you. And we’ve been dating for like… Two months, and have been seeing each other for way longer,” he explains, stating what is blatantly obvious. “It’s about time.” 

“Yeah. Plus I really will bring Donghyuck,” Mark assures, clapping an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “I wanna know if they’ll say I’m making a mistake or not.”

“Hyung!” Donghyuck gasps, scandalized, but it does a good job at lightening the atmosphere and making everyone laugh. 

“Okay, um, why don’t you think about it?” Jeno suggests, standing up from his seat. Jaemin is about to protest, but Jeno grabs Donghyuck’s arm before he can. “We’re gonna go get food. Japanese, okay? Hyuck, you know the place, right?” 

Donghyuck nods his head skeptically, not knowing what Jeno is planning. 

Jaemin just wants Jeno to sit back down with him, but he guesses that isn’t an option when he sees Jeno drag them both to the door. 

“Great! Donghyuck and I will get lunch, and Jaemin, you can think about it,” Jeno says, smiling happily before leaving abruptly. 

“Excuse him,” Mark sighs, ruffling Jisung’s hair as he takes a seat beside him. “But um, I don’t know if this is biased or not, probably is, but I know our parents will love you,” Mark assures. 

“Well, I don’t doubt that they’re nice people judging by how you and Jen turned out,” Jaemin mumbles, sighing right after. 

“No offense hyung, but that’s not really accurate,” Jisung pipes in, scrunching his nose in distaste. “I’d like to think the three of us are quite lovely too, but Mom and Dad aren’t.”

“He’s smart,” Mark snickers, throwing an arm around Jisung’s shoulders too. “Your parents don’t always define you, depends on if you’ve found who you’d really like to be. Jen and I have, and so have you, Jisung and Hyuck. We’re all our own people,” he explains gently, looking between Jisung and Jaemin. “And I think it means more that the three of you have found where your hearts lay instead of following footsteps. That’s more impressive than sailing smoothly.”

Jaemin doesn’t know what to say for a while, taken aback by Mark’s spiel for a moment. But then he regains himself, after letting everything Mark has said sink in. 

“This is too deep for a Saturday,” he jokes, hoping the atmosphere would lighten up. “But thanks, Mark. Donghyuck is quite lucky to have you around.” 

Mark grins sheepishly, but the moment is ruined when Jisung gags loudly. 

“Disgusting,” he comments. 

“Oh, hush. You can’t possibly be disgusted, Sungie, who are you hiding from us?” Jaemin asks, looking expectant when he locks eyes with Jisung. 

When the younger boy turns a shade of pink darker, Jaemin knows he’s hit the jackpot. 

“Who?” He gasps, suddenly ten times more excited than when he first started this conversation. He expected Jisung to probably deny or dodge the question, not stay silent and give his answer away like that. “Who is it?” He urges. 

Jisung seems to snap back into the conversation at that, turning his head around to glare at Mark, who’s been snickering, before glaring at Jaemin. 

“No one,” he spits, and _ah_ , there's the Jisung that Jaemin expected, the little brother who gets shy at the easiest questions and dodges everything even remotely romantic. “Shut up.”

“I bet it’s that Chenle kid,” Mark says smugly, triumphant when Jisung whips back to look at him with wide eyes. 

“How do you know him?” Jisung asks quickly, and this time it's Jaemin who snickers. But Jisung doesn’t turn around to glare at him, too focused on waiting for Mark’s answer. 

“Donghyuck has a big mouth,” Jaemin answers for Mark, remembering how he’s heard the same ‘Chenle’ name fall out of Donghyuck’s mouth once or twice before. “And no self control. You shouldn’t tell him secrets.”

“I don’t tell him anything!” Jisung protests, a distressed sound coming out of the back of his throat. His scent also heightens in frustration, and Jaemin would be alarmed if the situation wasn’t so cute and funny. “He’s just always around whenever Chenle comes to pick me up—”

“So it _is_ Chenle!” Mark exclaims, snapping his fingers in Jisung’s direction and effectively rendering him speechless. “You suck at secrets, dude,” he adds on with a sigh, shaking his head. 

“Shut up,” Jisung groans miserably, sinking into the couch and hiding inside of his sweater. “Don’t talk to me right now, this is humiliating.” 

Jaemin and Mark decide to let him be, to let him wallow in his sadness or whatever, and simply pick up on a conversation about the nice places in Mark and Jeno’s hometown. 

Jaemin thinks that Mark is simply trying to convince him to come with them tomorrow, and while the promises of the town are intriguing and the prospect of spending time away with Jeno is tempting, he’s still not too sure about it he’s ready to meet Jeno’s parents. 

He already knows they’re good people, sure, but the lingering paranoia of something happening, of him slipping up, of setting a bad first impression, is still strong. 

So for now, he still isn’t sure, but hopefully he can come up with an answer by the time night rolls around. 

“We’re back!” Jeno singsongs, bursting through the door with Donghyuck in tow. They both have takeout bags in their hands, and Jaemin gets up immediately to help them. 

“That smells awesome, what the hell,” Jisung gapes, already fascinated by the food Donghyuck and Jaemin are setting up on the table. 

“If you like it so much, help me unpack it,” Donghyuck grunts, throwing a napkin at him. 

Jisung starts bickering with his two older brothers, though, he is still helping with unpacking everything, but Mark tunes that out in favour of paying attention to Jeno, who’s now grabbed his wrist. 

“Does he seem up for it?” Jeno asks, and Mark feels just a little bit bad when he sees sparkles in his brother’s eyes, like he was really excited for this to happen. “Did Nana say anything?” 

“He didn’t let anything up,” Mark says apologetically, patting Jeno’s shoulder when the younger’s face dims a little. “But it’s only been like half an hour. Give him a while.” 

“I don’t have a while,” Jeno whines. “We leave tomorrow.”

“Jen, meeting the parents is a big deal,” Mark explains. “And it might be a bit nerve wracking for Jaemin, y’know, with meeting Mom and stuff…” 

Jeno softens then, realization dawning on him as he sighs and closes his eyes to collect his thoughts. 

He gets it, he really does, but he guesses he lost that part in between all his excitement towards Jaemin meeting his parents. 

Jeno understands if Jaemin isn’t ready to meet them yet, but he really, really hopes that he is. 

“Okay,” he relents, nodding his head and walking back towards everyone else with Mark. “I get it.”

“Good,” Mark smiles. “Also, the food really does smell good. This place nearby?” 

“It’s Jaemin’s favourite Japanese restaurant,” Jeno hums. “Just a bit off of campus.” 

So Mark and Jeno help grab out the last things they need before everyone starts eating, praises about the food and little conversation slipping past their lips as they do. 

Near when everyone is finished eating, Jisung’s phone starts buzzing loudly against the coffee table. 

“What is it?” Donghyuck asks as they all watch Jisung fetch his phone. 

Secretly, Jaemin was hoping Jisung would say it was Chenle so that they could tease him about it, but instead, his face pales and he quickly answers the call without answering Donghyuck’s question. 

“Hey Dad,” he greets, giving everyone pointed and frantic looks. “Oh, just hanging out with Jaemin and Donghyuck hyungs. Mom dropped me off when she came too. Yeah, I’ll be home tonight.” There’s a brief pause between Jisung answering questions where Jaemin holds his breath, anxious of what his dad could be saying on the other line. But then Jisung answers with, “… Yes, Chenle said he could give me a ride home,” in a mumble, and Jaemin is able to breathe regularly again. “Yeah okay. Bye.”

“Chenle, huh?” Donghyuck teases, and it seems like everything is back to normal, like that conversation didn’t even happen, when Jisung lunges at him unapologetically. 

“Shut up, Chenle always drives me home from here,” the youngest grumbles. 

“What did he want?” Jaemin asks, blurting his question out and halting the conversation going on. He almost feels bad for that, but the curiosity gnawing at his stomach overpowers the guilt. 

“He was just asking if I was coming home today,” Jisung explains, waving it off. “It’s not like I want to, but it’s also not like I have a choice.”

“Jisungie, no~” Donghyuck whines, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s frame and smothering him in kisses. “I promise you’ll be with us in a few months. I feel sorry that you have to see those two witches everyday.”

Jaemin snorts at Donghyuck referring to them as witches, all his tense and unpleasant feelings dissipating away when he hears Jisung’s indignant squawks for Donghyuck to let go of him. 

Trust his brothers, to always put a smile on his face. 

Conversation only lasts for another thirty minutes before the evening bleeds in, and Mark and Donghyuck end up taking their leave with the excuse of homework, since they’d both be busy tomorrow. 

Jisung ends up leaving a few minutes after them too, saying something along the lines of Chenle. Donghyuck isn’t there to tease him about it, so Jaemin takes it upon himself until Jisung gets so annoyed that he leaves without saying goodbye. 

And now once again, it’s just him and Jeno. 

“Can we take a nap?” Jeno asks, to which Jaemin only smiles fondly. 

“You’re always sleeping. Is there anything else you like?” He asks, already taking the other’s hand and leading them to the bedroom. 

“I like you,” Jeno hums, shutting the light off as they enter the room and pushing Jaemin onto the bed. He lands right on his back, and Jeno wastes no time in sprawling himself on top of the younger, wrapping both his arms around Jaemin’s waist and laying his head on his chest. “I like you a lot.”

Jaemin doesn’t say anything for a while after that, only puts one of his hands in Jeno’s hair while the other holds him close around the neck. 

“Jen, thank you for today,” he whispers after a while, when he feels Jeno’s breath start to even out against him. 

He thought the older boy might’ve already fallen asleep, but when Jeno answers back, he’s proven wrong. 

“For what?” He mumbles, shuffling closer to Jaemin. The younger can feel him inhale his scent, and feels another tinge of guilt creeping in when he realizes his real scent won’t be back for another few hours. 

“For today,” he repeats. “For meeting my— That lady, for the food, for everything…” 

Jeno only hums.

“Then you owe me,” he jokes, but Jaemin ends up biting his lip while contemplating, Jeno not catching the action. 

“I do,” he whispers, continuing to thread his fingers through Jeno’s hair. “I’ll come meet your parents tomorrow.” 

Jeno immediately seems more awake then he was a few seconds ago, no longer lax on top of him and under his fingers. 

“I was just joking,” he sputters while trying to clarify. He tightens his hold around Jaemin’s waist, almost as if he wanted to gather all of the younger’s attention by doing that. “You seriously don't have to if you don’t want to. There’ll always be next time. I promise, it’s not like I’ll get mad if you don’t want to—”

“Jen,” Jaemin cuts off, sighing endearingly and shutting the other boy up. “I want to. Believe me.” 

Jeno only lets one beat of silence pass through them. 

“Okay,” he whispers, relaxing back against the younger and closing his eyes again. “I believe you. We leave at noon tomorrow.”

And for the first time in a while, Jaemin has a smile on his face as he drifts asleep. 


	4. chapter four

Jaemin feels extremely groggy when he wakes up the next morning, warm sunlight streaming in through the window and heating up his back as he lays. 

Unfortunately, Jeno isn’t beside him, but he doesn’t stay wondering where he went when he hears the water from the shower running. 

Bringing a fist up to his eyes, Jaemin rubs the sleep out before looking at the clock, seeing that it was almost 10:00am. 

He feels a little more awake now that he knows what time it is, quickly getting out of bed and picking some of his clothes from the packed away bags shoved in Jeno’s closet. They could unpack all of those later, but right now he needs to make sure he looks presentable enough for Jeno’s parents. 

After sifting through some clothes, he settles on a pair of light washed jeans with a moderate amount of rips in them, and a white silk-like button up. Casual, but not too casual, and formal, but not too formal. 

All that’s left to do is impatiently wait for Jeno to get out of the bathroom, so in the meantime, he chooses some rings from Jeno’s collection and a simple necklace too. 

Jaemin would’ve liked to wear his own rings, but he doesn’t think they’ll have enough time to make the detour to his apartment before leaving. And he wanted to make an impressive impression anyway, he needed to look more put together than he actually felt. 

As Jaemin waits, he reaches for his phone to check his notification, feeling a rush of anxiousness when he sees he has unread messages from Donghyuck. 

**from:** **_duckie❤️_ **

_ i milked information out of mark and lets just say his parents are as rich as ours  _

_ part of me thinks that’ll mean we fit in, but another part makes me weary🥴 _

_ don’t tell mark i said that  _

Jaemin rolls his eyes at Donghyuck’s last message, quickly typing up his response. 

**to:** **_duckie❤️_ **

_ stop harassing your boyfriend, jesus _

_ having money doesn’t mean anything, stop psyching yourself out, it psychs me out too  _

_ and we’re not gonna fit in donghyuck, mark and jen grew up worlds away from what we grew up with </3  _

**from:** **_duckie❤️_ **

_ don’t say that it makes me sad😔 _

_ anyways, are you guys almost ready  _

_ it’s like three hours from here and apparently their parents want us by dinner  _

**to:** **_duckie❤️_ **

_ three hours😐 _

_ are you kidding _

_ how the hell am i gonna be able to manage being in a car with you for three hours  _

_ and we’re almost ready, jen’s in the shower and then i’m going  _

**from:** **_duckie❤️_ **

_ you know me dude, i’m just gonna end up taking a nap🥰 _

_ and hurry up! mark wants to catch breakfast together but it seems like you guys are gonna run us late🙃 _

_ so we’ll end up eating in the car if anything  _

**to:** **_duckie_ ** _ ❤️ _

_ i’m cool with whatever  _

**from:** **_duckie❤️_ **

_ i wasn’t asking if you were cool with it, but alright❤️ _

_ see you in a bit _

_ mwah! _

**to:** **_duckie❤️_ **

_ see you, idiot <3  _

Just as Jaemin sends his final message, Jeno comes into the room with his shirt slightly sticking to his damp chest, and a towel around his neck to catch droplets from his wet hair. 

He’s wearing simple black jeans with a white t-shirt and a black denim jacket on top, and Jaemin momentarily forgets how to breathe. 

Jeno looks so simple, yet so unfairly breathtaking. 

“Oh, you’re awake already? Good morning,” he greets, ripping the younger out of his thoughts about how lovely Jeno looks so early in the morning. 

“Morning. You took forever in the shower,” Jaemin sighs, quickly kissing Jeno’s cheek before scurrying to the bathroom. “Also, put some jewellery on? You don’t wanna be bland, do you?” 

Jeno only snorts at that, not offended at all by Jaemin’s question. 

“I think you’re forgetting that these are  _ my  _ parents? I don't need to impress them,” Jeno says as he watches Jaemin lock himself in the bathroom. 

Very obviously, the younger is embarrassed of his words, and the easier option is always to hide away from Jeno’s teasing eyes and irritating smirk.

“Whatever!” He calls through the door. “Also, check your messages, Mark might’ve texted you.” 

Jaemin takes his time showering, but also remembers that they’re on a bit of a time crunch. 

After showering, he dresses himself tastefully and takes longer than he’d like to admit, styling his hair. The necklace comes on next, and then the rings. Once he’s decently satisfied with what he sees in the mirror, he gets out and grabs what he needs from Jeno’s room, and then heads to the living room where Jeno is sitting. 

“Are you ready?” Jeno asks while not looking up from his phone. When he does though, his eyes widen a little, and his mouth parts, completely taken aback. “Oh wow…” He breathes out, staring Jaemin up and down. 

He starts at his now dry pink hair, to the necklace and the way he left the first few buttons of his shirt unbuttoned, then drifting down to how the high waisted jeans accentuate his waist and pretty curves, shirt tucked in nicely. 

“You look so pretty,” he whines, clutching his heart as he pretends to be in pain and falls back. “Completely fatal.” 

“Shut up,” Jaemin grumbles, though his cheeks are pink and he doubts he does a good job at hiding them. “And yes, I’m ready. Let’s go?” 

“Great,” Jeno smiles, and jumps up from his seated position. He’s grabbing his wallet and keys, and throwing Jaemin one of his jackets. “It may be colder at night,” he explains. 

“It’s May,” Jaemin mutters, but still takes the jacket and follows Jeno out the door. 

They walk their way to Jeno’s car, driving to Mark’s dorm and picking up him and Donghyuck. 

Unsurprisingly, Donghyuck is bickering with Mark as they both enter in the backseats. 

“Just tell me! Vases? Wines? Hell, flowers even? C’mon Markie, don’t be like this,” Donghyuck groans, buckling in and shooting Mark a glare. 

“I’m already loving this,” Jaemin sighs, turning around to face the back as he looks between the two of them. “What are you bitching about?” 

Donghyuck doesn’t even have the mind to be offended, answering Jaemin's question defeatedly. 

“Mark won’t tell me what his parents like because he says it doesn’t matter. Jeno, say something, we can’t show up empty handed!” He complains, and it’s only then that Jaemin is reminded of the need to bring a gift. 

“Oh my God, Jen, what do your parents like?” Jaemin asks, now turning his full attention onto his boyfriend. “Chocolates? Or is that weird?” 

Jeno doesn’t say anything at first, and he gives Mark a helpless look from the rear view mirror. 

Finally taking pity on his brother, Mark relents. It’s already not fun having Donghyuck pester you, Mark couldn't imagine what it’d be like if Donghyuck  _ and  _ Jaemin were pestering him. 

“They like wine,” he sighs out. “But you seriously don’t have to get anything. They’ll fawn over your presence,” Mark assures, but it’s to no avail, seeing as Donghyuck and Jaemin are already talking up a storm about what bottle of wine to buy. 

So it’s with reluctance that Jeno drives them to the nearest liquor store, where Donghyuck and Jaemin spend a lovely thirty minutes choosing which wine to buy. In the end, they settled for a two hundred dollar bottle which makes Mark wonder why Donghyuck always insists he pay for dates. 

But anyway, after that whole ordeal, it’s a quick ride to pick up some breakfast before they start their three hour drive to Jeno and Mark’s hometown, where Jeno threatens all of them to not spill anything on the seats. 

By the time they’ve started their drive, Donghyuck has stayed true to his word and has passed out in the back, and Mark simply plugs his earbuds in and is lost to the world. 

Jaemin kind of thinks he’s brewing up a music video in his head with how he’s looking out the window, but before he can think about what type of music video it is, Jeno puts a hand on his thigh, effectively gathering his attention. 

“You can fall asleep too, I won’t mind,” Jeno says gently, sparing half a second to smile at him. “Maybe it’ll ease your nerves.”

“I’m not nervous,” Jaemin immediately denies, though the way he reaches for Jeno’s hand on his thigh and gives it a squeeze makes his lie obvious. “I swear,” he tacks on weakly, but it’s obvious it does nothing. 

“Jaemin, can I tell you something?” Jeno asks, and Jaemin nods his head. “There’s something about you that makes everyone automatically like you. When you smile, it’s bright. When you speak, it’s polite. When you laugh, it’s lovely. I don’t think people have a choice but to fall in love with you.” 

“Now you’re seriously just saying that,” Jaemin mumbles, toying around with Jeno’s fingers so that he doesn’t have to look at the other boy. “You’re biased.” He pouts. 

Jeno spares another glance, sees his pout, and laughs lightly. 

“Even if I am, my parents think like me. So they’ll love you, Nana. Don’t worry, okay? Just be yourself and they’ll have no choice but to adore you.” 

Jaemin doesn’t say anything, doesn’t know what to say. 

He appreciates Jeno’s words of encouragement, and they do in fact do something to help calm his nerves, but he wonders if it’ll all disappear the second he steps into their house. 

But before he can think himself down another spiral, Jeno says something more. 

“Also… Your scent is back,” he whispers, squeezing Jaemin’s thigh. “And it’s beautiful.” 

  
  
  


Much to his demise, Jaemin does end up falling asleep halfway through, and he’d feel more bad about it if he didn’t distantly hear Mark start up a conversation with Jeno before he drifted away. 

It’s Donghyuck who wakes him up with a violent shoulder slap, and Jaemin kind of wants to hit him back, but that’ll probably end in a fight and neither of them could afford to mess up their appearances right now. 

They’re parked in the driveway of Mark and Jeno’s parent’s house, and much like Donghyuck had said, they seem pretty… Well off, if Jaemin puts it moderately. 

He won’t lie, he feels intimidated all over again, and also feels a bit silly for that when he sees how easily Donghyuck and Mark fall into step beside each other as they make way to the front door. 

But Jaemin can’t help the buckets of sweat he’s producing with each step they take, the closer they get to the door is the closer Jaemin is to passing out. 

“Just a reminder that they’ll be able to smell you if you’re uncomfortable,” Jeno points out softly. “You really didn’t have to come if you didn’t want to.”

“I want to,” Jaemin assures, feeling guilty for making Jeno think otherwise. “I really do, but… I don’t have the best track record with parents,” he explains shamefully. 

“I won’t say my parents are amazing,” Jeno shrugs, throwing an arm around the younger’s shoulder to bring him close. He tries expelling more of his own scent to help Jaemin calm down, and he hopes it works. “That’s for you to decide. But I will say that you’re overthinking it. Be natural, and everything will play out.” 

Jaemin takes a deep breath as they make it to the front of the door, and exhales when Mark rings the doorbell. 

“Okay,” he breathes, clutching the bottle of wine in his hands tighter. “Okay. It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.” 

Jeno squeezes him one more time, pressing a kiss to his temple.

The last thing he hears before the door opens is,

“Yes it will, baby.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Two distinctive scents hit Jaemin when the door of the house first opens; roses and rhubarb. 

“My babies!” Jeno’s mother greets happily, immediately opening her arms up for Mark and Jeno. 

They’re both taller than their mom, leading them to tower over her in height, and engulf her in their arms. 

Jaemin and Donghyuck admit that it’s a nice sight. 

It must also feel nice, to get to hug your mother. 

And maybe, it was also nice to know your mother missed you. 

“And who are these lovely gentlemen?” 

Her question is what rips Jaemin out of his thoughts, and he feels heat immediately crawl onto his face when all three of them are looking at him and Donghyuck. 

But then he sees Jeno’s eyes crinkle up into the crescents he loves so much, and wills himself to calm

down. Nothing bad ever happens when Jeno is with him, Jaemin needs to start remembering that more. 

“This is my boyfriend Donghyuck,” Mark introduces first, pulling Donghyuck a little bit more forward by the hand. “He’s in Jeno’s year.” 

“Hello, Donghyuck,” she smiles brightly, opening her arms up for a hug. 

Donghyuck is a bit tentative, but Jaemin can see him immediately relax once he’s in the hug. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Donghyuck grins, to which she smiles softly again. Jaemin thinks she’s endeared by the sound of his voice, which makes sense. Everyone thinks Donghyuck’s voice is unique once they start talking to him. 

“And this is Nana,” Jeno abruptly introduces, pulling Jaemin forward by the arm. 

He steps into place beside Jeno, feeling relaxed with Jeno’s hand around his arm and the familiar look of comfort in his mom’s eyes. 

Jaemin guesses that’s where Jeno gets it from. 

“Nana?” She asks teasingly, tilting her head to the side. And when Jaemin sees the crinkles at the corner of her eyes, he guesses that’s also where Jeno gets it from. 

“Na Jaemin,” Jeno clears up, sliding his hand down and to the small of his back. “My boyfriend.” 

Getting introduced as Jeno’s boyfriend for the first time makes a surplus of butterflies invade Jaemin’s stomach, rendering him way too giddy to think clearly right now. 

But what’s more important is that he has to introduce himself, or else he’ll already be on the wrong foot with Jeno’s mother. And he'd be mortified, if that were to be the case. 

Plus, she already seems sweeter than any other woman Jaemin has ever met in his life. Her scent is also oddly comforting, very sweet on the tongue, but homey, nonetheless. 

“Hi,” he greets softer than he intended, attempting to smile. He hopes it doesn’t come out like a grimace, but with his luck, he’s not too sure anymore. “I’m Nana— Jaemin! I’m Jaemin,” he chuckles nervously, hoping that he doesn’t give off how anxious he is about this whole thing. 

Braincell-less in his nerves, Jaemin thrusts his hand out to her, which not only elicits a laugh from her, but from Jeno, Donghyuck and Mark as well. 

“That’s lovely, Nana,” she laughs, accepting his hand and then pulling him into a hug. 

It’s odd, how he immediately feels warmth flood his senses and body, how he feels safe and protected in her hold. 

“Jeno has told me a lot about you,” she whispers just for him to hear, and Jaemin just knows he flushes more at her words. “You’re the first boy my Jeno has brought home,” she coos louder, and Jaemin can tell it was just so that Jeno would be able to hear. 

“Mom!” Jeno whines, and Jaemin doesn’t even have to be looking at him to know he’s pouting. “We’re not even inside and you’re embarrassing me.” 

She lets go of Jaemin then, and then proceeds to usher them all inside lovingly, like he’s seen the moms in movies do. 

It makes Jaemin wonder if she’s too good to be true. 

Once they’re all inside the living room, which is so beautifully decorated despite it being a large space, Mark takes Donghyuck’s hand to give him a tour of the house. 

“Where’s Dad?” Jeno asks his mom, hand already finding its way back to the small of Jaemin’s back. 

“He went to pick up some last minute things,” she answers, and it’s only then that Jaemin remembers he’s holding a bottle of wine in his hands, and has been for probably the last five minutes. 

“T-This is for you,” he blurts out, holding the bottle out to her with two hands. 

Jeno’s mom only looks between the bottle and his face for a few seconds before letting out a soft laugh and accepting the wine. 

“I was wondering how long you were going to hold onto that, dear,” she smiles, but looks genuine and gracious as she says, “Thank you, Jaemin.” 

It’s also odd hearing his name coming out of her mouth, because despite just meeting, there’s already an affectionate lilt in her voice that is so foreign to Jaemin, that he can’t get enough of it. 

“No problem,” he says sheepishly. “It’s from me and Donghyuck.” He adds, just to make sure Donghyuck sets a good impression too. 

“I love you guys already,” she jokes, walking ahead to the kitchen. “Come with me, you two can help while I interrogate Jaemin.” 

Jeno and his mother both laugh at that, but as he and Jeno are following her to the kitchen, Jaemin can’t help but recognize that this was exactly what he was nervous for. 

He doesn’t do well around parents, and all he can hope is that he doesn’t make a fool out of himself as he answers her questions. 

“So, Jeno told me you guys met at the diner he works at?” She asks, opening up a cabinet and handing Jeno a stack of plates.

“Yeah, he waited for my table and then… Wrote his number on my receipt,” Jaemin recalls fondly, accepting the glasses she passes to him. 

As he follows Jeno to the dining table to set it up, he admits that he found Jeno’s way of showing his interest very corny and sneaky, but now it’s just cute to him. 

Overtime, he guesses everything Jeno does is cute to him. 

“And then it just blossomed from there,” Jeno tacks on, sighing lovingly. He earns a smack on the arm from Jaemin for that, but he seems unphased as he just snickers. “Or maybe Jaeminnie played hard to get and it took a few days before we went on an actual date, but it was very much worth it,” he clarifies, winking at his boyfriend and ruffling his hair. 

“I would’ve played harder if I were you, Jaemin-ah,” Jeno’s mom tsks, passing him a hot bowl of soup. When Jaemin peers inside, it looks like seaweed soup. “Now you’re stuck with Lee Jeno.” 

Jeno rolls his eyes as he passes by Jaemin and takes something else to the table, while Jaemin only giggles. 

“It’s okay, I kinda like Jeno,” he hums teasingly, already feeling his shoulders relax and become less tense now that he’s embraced the comfortable atmosphere between the three of them. 

“Word on the street is that he kinda likes you too,” she whispers to him as she passes another bowl, and Jaemin smiles brilliantly at her humour. 

He can already see where Jeno gets his humour from, and where he gets his quirks from. He thinks that’s part of the reason why he’s getting along so well with Jeno’s

mom so fast. 

This continues for a while, Jeno and Jaemin helping her by taking dishes to the table, along with a water pitcher and utensils. 

“Jeno sweetheart, go and help you dad bring in the things he bought,” she instructs when they all hear another car pull up in the driveway. “Let me have some alone time with Nana.” 

Jeno mutters something about his mom liking Jaemin more than him, still leaves to go help, but not without shooting Jaemin a glare first. 

All Jaemin does is stick his tongue out back at him. 

“He takes good care of you, right?” She asks right when Jeno’s out of earshot. 

It catches Jaemin a bit off guard, but he smiles and nods his head softly at the question, sudden little tidbits of all the things Jeno has done for him flooding his mind. 

“Yeah,” he agrees, feeling his heart leap when he suddenly remembers the time Jeno bought him chicken nuggets at 2:00am because neither of them couldn’t fall asleep. “He really does.”

“That’s good to hear,” she sighs fondly. “I’ve always wanted my children to be respectful.” 

Jaemin smiles at that, she seems like the sweetest woman on the planet, and nods his head once again. 

“Even Mark, he's so polite,” he says. “We hadn’t met very conventionally, but he was still very nice even then,” he laughs, remembering the first time he met Mark at that café. “A bit clumsy, but very nice.”

“Ah, my Mark takes after his father,” she tsks, waving her hand around. “Dropping things here and there, I can never trust them to do the tedious tasks.” She rants, which Jaemin is amused by. 

It’s funny, hearing this side of Mark, since he’s always heard Donghyuck complain and swoon over Mark’s clumsiness. 

“You know, one of the first things my son had mentioned about you was your scent,” she says once she’s done talking about Mark. “And he was right. It’s very lovely.” 

Jaemin blushes a little at that.

Despite letting Jeno know that he’s truly one of the bigger reasons why he’s learned to like his scent more, hearing someone else say it is different. It’s also very different when it’s Jeno’s mom saying it. 

“Ah… Jeno helped me a little with that,” he admits, looking back at the woman standing in front of him. “Your scent is also very lovely… Like what a home would smell like,” he whispers, forcing out a smile. He looks down and fiddles with his thumbs after the words leave his mouth, suddenly feeling vulnerable. 

Saying it out loud and admitting it is much different than just thinking it, Jaemin learns, feeling a little embarrassed that he let something like this slip. 

But when he looks back up, all he sees is Jeno’s mom looking at him softly.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she starts in a whisper, and all Jaemin sees is sadness when he steals a glance at her eyes. “I know about your…  _ Family _ , if you still call them that. Jeno rants to me a lot, please don’t be upset with him. He sounded upset and scared more than anything else,” she explains. 

Jaemin isn’t mad at Jeno, he wouldn’t even think about being mad. 

But hearing that his mom knows about… Well, everything that he’s ever told Jeno about what happened, he feels very overwhelmed. 

He hasn’t known this woman for long, but she already admitted to knowing his deepest secret. The thing that he never wants to tell anyone. 

But he can’t be mad at Jeno for that. It’s just his mom, maybe Jaemin would’ve done the same thing if he had a mother like Jeno’s. 

“O-Oh,” he simply sighs out, looking back down, suddenly unable to meet the pity in her eyes. 

She knows everything about him. 

About his adoption, his pills, his dream of a mom, the way he stopped taking suppressants, the way he hates his omega… 

Subconsciously, he feels his breath pick up and a familiar prick at the back of his eyes, and thinks he’s being ridiculous. But he can’t help it, and he’s a bit scared now. 

It’s a scary feeling, to be vulnerable in front of someone. 

“I understand if you don’t want me seeing Jeno anymore,” he chokes out, biting his bottom lip so that he doesn’t let anything out. He also swallows the lump in his throat so that his voice doesn’t break. “But thank you for not d-doing this in front of Jeno—”

“Jaemin,” she suddenly cuts off, and Jaemin flinches a little at her firm voice. Nonetheless, he forces himself to look up at her, not wanting to add more fuel to the fire. “Do you love my son?” 

Jaemin figures he has nothing to lose, so he nods his head vigorously. 

“I’ve never loved s-someone like I love him,” he admits, feeling his heart swell at the mere thought of his boyfriend. 

Or maybe, his soon to be ex-boyfriend. 

“He’s everything to me.” 

“Then why are you crying, silly boy?” Jeno’s mother tsks softly, reaching her hands up and wiping his tears, which Jaemin didn’t even realize had fallen down his cheeks. “I just wanted to let you know you have more than a family with me and my children,” she continues softly, making Jaemin feel all parts stupid and guilty. “Why would you even think such a thing?” 

“It’s just a little hard,” Jaemin whispers, unashamedly leaning into her warm palms. “All my life, I thought I had to be an alpha to be happy. I thought taking suppressants and having a different scent would

make me happy. But now I feel the happiest I ever felt, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t have babies, I don’t want to be an omega, I-I don’t even know  _ how  _ to be an omega and it’s just— I’m not used to people sticking around, after all that.” 

He should feel weird, opening up to someone he’s known for less than an hour, but telling her everything makes so much sense to him. It makes him feel lighter when everything is off of his chest, and it makes him feel safe being around her. 

“Jaemin-ah,” she coos, pulling into another hug. “I don’t know much about your mother, but I know that I’d be more than willing to help you with anything. Omega to omega, you know? I’m only a phone call away for all my kids.” 

Jaemin appreciates her words and takes them to heart, but there's only one thing he can focus on. 

“Your kids?” He repeats confusedly, to which she only pulls away and looks at him lovingly. 

Jaemin doesn’t even know if he’s ever had a mother look at him that way. 

“Jeno loves you, Jaemin. And everyone Jeno loves, I love. Just… 

“… Call me Mom.” 

  
  
  


“Mom, is there anything else— Nana why are you crying?” Jeno gasps, walking into the kitchen and immediately getting concerned. 

Jaemin quickly wipes his tears away, as he doesn’t want to give Jeno the wrong idea. 

For once, he isn’t crying because he’s upset. 

“N-Nothing Jen, I’m okay—” He tries to assure, but doesn’t get to finish before he finds himself in Jeno’s arms and not his mother’s anymore. “Seriously, it’s okay,” he says from where he’s tucked under Jeno’s chin, voice coming out muffled. 

He also may or may not be embarrassed knowing that Jeno’s mom is watching them now. He can’t even take his own teammates in the locker room looking at them, how is he supposed to manage this?

Just when he thinks Jeno will let him go, Jaemin makes the mistake of sniffling, alarming the older boy all over again.

“Nana,” Jeno whines, holding him tighter, and Jaemin is even more embarrassed. “I’m not letting you go until

you tell me—”

“Will you stop being a worry wart?” Jeno’s mom scolds, hitting Jeno’s arm with a dish towel. “I asked if you took care of him, but I didn’t think you’d harass him,” she says while clicking her tongue. 

“I do not harass my boyfriend!” Jeno says scandalously, finally loosening his hold. It gives Jaemin enough time to take a step back, and he uses the back of his hand to wipe his tears. Unfortunately, Jeno catches sight of it. “I just wanna know why Jaemin is crying.” He frowns. 

“I told you it’s nothing,” Jaemin repeats, at the same

time that Jeno mom says, “I told Jaemin he had a family with us.” 

And then, Jeno softens. 

And Jaemin doesn’t think he’s going to stop feeling embarrassed any time soon. 

“I’ve  _ been  _ telling you that,” Jeno says gently, cupping

Jaemin’s face and running his thumb over his cheek. “Do you believe me now?” 

“Shut up Jeno,” Jaemin huffs, smiling lightly through his trembling lips and red eyes. 

“ _ Shut up Jeno _ ,” he mocks, ruffling up the younger’s hair. “You cried all your makeup off,” Jeno sighs, looking over Jaemin’s face. 

“I’m not even wearing much makeup,” he grumbles, finally stepping back and putting some space in between them. 

Though he appreciates Jeno’s concern, and maybe he swooned over how protective he is, he’s heavily embarrassed that he even  _ cried  _ in the first place. 

Today wasn’t supposed to be one of those days. 

“You took extra long today in the bathroom,” Jeno deadpans, matter of factly. “And your pimple is gone now.”

“Are you saying I  _ need  _ makeup—”

“Jeno,” his mother cuts off, glaring at her son. “Show Jaemin to the bathroom. You can use my makeup if you’d like to touch up,” she tells Jaemin gently, who only smiles and nods his head. 

Both of them are deaf to the way Jeno scoffs. 

“Come on Nana, before she turns you against me,” Jeno says, grabbing the younger’s hand and leading them

out the kitchen. “Dad’s favourite is already Mark.” 

“Jen, you’re just a big baby,” Jaemin teases sweetly, reaching up with his other hand and pinching his cheek. “Do you want a cookie? Will that make you feel better?” He continues to coo, not phased by how Jeno turns to glare at him.

“Na Jaemin,” he warns, but Jaemin, as always, turns a blind eye. 

“Or maybe milk—”

Jaemin doesn’t get to finish taunting Jeno, not when he bumps into someone when they round the corner. 

He registers three gasps before he registers how the front of his shirt is wet, but by then, he’s already eye to eye with someone whose eyes are the same type of wide that Mark’s were the first time they spoke. 

And now he knows that he’s face to face with Jeno’s dad. 

“Oh my God,” the man in front of him says, slowly looking up from Jaemin’s stained shirt to his face. “Oh 

my God,” he repeats, and if Jaemin looks a little past him, he can see an identical facial expression on Mark’s face. 

Jeno’s mom really wasn’t lying when she said Mark takes after his dad. 

“Dad!” Jeno finally exclaims, tearing his eyes away from Jaemin’s now purple stained white shirt. “Who even drinks purple Crush?”

“It’s okay,” Jaemin mediates, sending Jeno’s dad a somewhat forced smile. He admits, it’s hard to act natural when his shirt is sticking to him uncomfortably. “I’m Jaemin.” 

“Jaemin,” his dad repeats, and then his eyes widen even more, and it makes Jaemin wonder if they’ll fall out. “Na Jaemin, I’m so sorry. I’ll pay for cleaning. Or buy you a new shirt. Whatever you want—”

“That’s not necessary,” Jaemin says nervously, hoping he doesn’t keep on listing different ways to compensate for his shirt. He’s not good with confrontation, after all. “Really, just a simple mistake.”

“I insist—”

“I’m just gonna bring Jaemin upstairs to change,” Jeno interrupts, grabbing the younger’s hand again. He makes them step around the puddle of liquid on the floor, and Jaemin was about to offer to clean it, but then he sees Mark come back into the hallway with a mop. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

Jeno all but pulls Jaemin up the stairs two at a time after that, and Jaemin can’t help but wonder if it’s because he also didn’t want to hear the apologies that looked like they were on the tip of his dad’s tongue. 

“Today’s not my day,” Jaemin sighs miserably as they walk through the upstairs hallway. “Oh God, I probably looked hideous meeting your dad,” he whines, hands coming up to cup his own cheeks in embarrassment. 

“First of all, he was the bigger fool, trust me,” Jeno says as he opens the door to his bedroom. “And second of all, how many times do I have to say that you look pretty all the time before you start believing me?”

Jaemin doesn’t answer Jeno’s question in favour of looking around his room. 

The bed is rather large in the middle of the room, with white sheets and white pillows on top. On one side is a bedside table which doesn’t have much on it, simply an alarm clock, and a small empty desk pushed up against another wall. 

There’s a wardrobe across from the desk, and Jaemin assumes that the room looks so empty because Jeno has been moved out for so long. 

But there are still some photo frames on the wall, pictures of his parents and pictures of him with Mark. There’s also a few photo frames holding certificates inside, but before Jaemin can read what they are, Jeno is pulling his hand and leading him to the wardrobe. 

“You can choose something you like and head to the bathroom,” the older boy instructs, walking over to a door Jaemin didn’t notice at first and opening it until the door was ajar. Jaemin then sees that it’s Jeno’s bathroom. “And I’ll bring some makeup from Mom’s room.”

Jaemin simply nods his head as he watches Jeno disappear down the hall, and turns back to Jeno's closet to pick out something to wear. 

Unfortunately, there isn’t too much to choose from, since Jeno brought most of his clothes to university. There’s still some hoodies and simple t-shirts though, and it seems like those are Jaemin’s best bets. 

He’s a bit bummed that he has to throw away the casual/formal look he had going on, but the most he can do now is tastefully tuck in a white t-shirt and put on a red cardigan and hope for the best. 

“I don’t know what you use, so I brought… Everything,” Jeno says as he walks into the bathroom, spilling the products onto his vanity. “Also, you look great in my clothes.”

“Duh,” Jaemin says in an attempt to hide his blush, but since he knows Jeno, and since Jeno knows him, Jaemin knows it doesn’t work. “Thanks.”

Jaemin makes quick work of touching himself back up, and tries very hard to ignore the way Jeno won’t stop staring at him. He’s not even looking at him through the mirror, and Jaemin wonders what’s so enchanting about his side profile to get Jeno to silently stare. 

He’s giving himself a final once over when he hears Jeno say,

“I’m so happy they like you,” he whispers quietly, finally moving and taking a step forward. He steps around Jaemin until he’s behind him, and wraps his arms around the younger’s waist, puts his chin on his shoulder and watches them through the reflection. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Can you even go a day without speaking sugar?” Jaemin mumbles, looking down so that he can avoid Jeno’s eyes, and so that he can clean up everything he used. 

“Just say you're happy you’re here too and I’ll back off,” Jeno whines, shaking Jaemin slightly in his hold. “You’re happy, right?” 

Jaemin sighs, closing the last product and turning around in Jeno’s arms. The latter walks him back until he makes contact with the vanity behind him. 

“I’m always happy when I’m with you,” Jaemin assures, poking the middle of Jeno’s chest between each word for emphasis. “So stop worrying so much about me and enjoy time with your family, honey. That’s why we’re here, right?” 

“It’s in the job description to worry about you,” Jeno mumbles, leaning in to lightly kiss Jaemin’s forehead. “How can I not worry about you? You’re mine.” 

“Jeno, shut up,” Jaemin whines, weakly attempting to push the other away, to no avail. 

Jaemin expects something sassy in return like always, but what he gets instead makes him flush through his makeup. 

“Why don’t you shut me up?” 

“Lee Jeno—”

And then Jeno kisses him, and Jaemin forgets what he was going to say all together. 

He thought he’d get a chance to breathe, but he’s proven wrong when Jeno only picks up the pace and runs his hands down until they’re on his thighs, picking him up and placing him down on the vanity counter. 

“You looked so good all day,” Jeno growls when their lips finally part, moving down to kiss Jaemin’s cheeks to his chin, trailing further until Jeno kisses down his neck. “I wanted to have my way with you before we left, but you just kept nagging about leaving,” he complains, nosing his way back up to kiss his lips again. 

“We were gonna be late,” Jaemin explains shakily through kisses, finally giving in and pulling Jeno closer between his legs by the shoulders. “Just didn’t wanna be late.”

“Yeah? Well I just wanted to bend you over the couch,” Jeno counters right into Jaemin’s ear. He slides his hands over Jaemin’s clothed thighs, squeezing them between his hands and reveling in the way Jaemin’s breath catches. 

“J-Jen, babe—”

“And then you wear my clothes and look like a princess— Seriously, what do you want, baby?” Jeno asks, returning to kissing Jaemin’s lips. “Maybe I’ll take you right here, pull on your hair and make you look at yourself while I—” 

“Jaemin, Jeno! Mom’s calling for dinner!”

And just like that, Jaemin and Jeno are both ripped out of their arousal induced haze, staring at each other for a few seconds before Jaemin slaps Jeno’s chest. 

“Ow!” He exclaims, stepping back from Jaemin and giving the younger the space to jump off of the counter. 

“Lee Jeno, I swear to God the next time you try to make a move in a  _ bathroom _ —”

“You liked it!” Jeno argues, but Jaemin only glares at him, and it’s enough to shut him up. 

“We’re going to eat dinner now and you’re going to forget this happened,” the younger says. “Understand?”

“But—”

“Jeno! No sex for a month if you don’t get it together and save both of our dignities.”

Jaemin almost feels bad when Jeno starts pouting. 

“Okay…”

  
  
  


The last thing Jaemin expects to see as he makes his way back downstairs, is Donghyuck having a conversation so comfortable with Mark’s dad, that Jaemin might as well have thought that Donghyuck was dating Mark’s dad and not Mark. 

“Something about this doesn’t sit right with me,” Jeno comments, tilting his head to the side as he looks at Donghyuck and his dad. 

When he scans the table for anyone else, he’s surprised when he sees that Mark isn’t there yet. 

“Yeah, me neither,” Jaemin agrees, and it’s then that Mark comes up from behind them, grumbling under his breath as he also stares at Donghyuck and his dad. “Um… So your dad clearly likes Donghyuck,” Jaemin says, hoping it’ll ease Mark out of whatever weird feeling he’s feeling. 

Jaemin doesn’t know for sure, since he doesn’t spend that much time with Mark, but his scent is a little more pungent than usual, so Jaemin can only assume he’s a bit… Bitter? Is that the right word? 

“A bit too well,” Mark sighs, turning to look at Jeno and Jaemin helplessly. “I left to go to the bathroom for  _ three  _ minutes, and suddenly Donghyuck has a new best friend,” he explains. 

Jaemin feels bad for laughing. 

Especially when Mark glares at him. 

“Okay, dude, think of it like this,” Jaemin starts, as the three of them are still subtly watching Donghyuck and their dad have an animated conversation. “Hyuck was also nervous coming here to meet your parents, obviously. But imagine how much better he felt when he realized that your dad is just the older version of you?” He explains, gesturing between Mark and his dad. “You and Donghyuck get along well, that’s probably why he’s getting along so well with your dad.” 

“That makes sense,” Jeno pipes up for reassurance, but also because that’s something he noticed too. “That’s why Mom gets along with Jaemin so well. Or they’re just plotting against me and she's telling him my embarrassing stories.” 

Mark makes a distressed sound at that, alarmingly wide eyes looking back to Donghyuck. 

“That can’t happen! I have so many embarrassing stories!” Mark complains. 

“It can’t be anything worse than what Donghyuck has already seen though, right?” Jaemin tries to console, though he doubts it works when he realizes how backhanded his words sound. 

“Jaemin—” Jeno sighs, but he’s cut off by Jaemin ushering them all to the table. 

“Let’s just eat.”

So they all sit themselves around the table, Jaemin taking a seat beside Donghyuck, while Mark and Jeno sit beside each other across from them. Jeno’s mom is seated on Jaemin’s right, and Mark’s dad is seated on Donghyuck's left, both at either ends of the table. 

“Oh wow,” Donghyuck comments as he eyes everything on the table, taking in each and every dish. 

All the dishes run along the center of the table, and Jaemin also feels his mouth start to water as he takes in everything in front of them. 

“Thank you,” Jaemin says gratefully, looking between the two parents. “Really, everything looks so good.” 

Jaemin doesn’t remember the last time he’s had a home cooked meal, but he knows that after this dinner, nothing will ever compare. 

Jeno’s mother tells them all to eat well, and then it’s all metal chopsticks on glass plates and bowls, satisfactory hums and many compliments. 

Jaemin and Jeno recount the story of how they met for Jeno’s dad, and Mark and Donghyuck do the same for Jeno’s mom. 

Much to Jaemin’s displeasure, they both leave out the part where it was him who gave Donghyuck Mark’s number, but he doesn’t think much of it. 

Throughout their meal, Jaemin and Donghyuck both find it eerie how similar Mark is to his dad, but at the same time it was also comical. If the term ‘finish each other’s sentences’ could be applied literally, it’d be applied to Mark and his dad. 

Jaemin hears a few embarrassing stories about Jeno, which always end in Jeno whining and telling Jaemin to try to forget about ever hearing it. 

But Jaemin knows that he’ll just hold it over Jeno’s head for teasing purposes later on. 

Dinner passes by with a lot of table talk, where both Donghyuck and Jaemin leave with enough blackmail material for a lifetime. 

Everyone helps clean up the table and wash the dishes, and it isn’t long before the clock disappointedly strikes 7:00pm. 

They were all in the midst of a conversation in the backyard when Mark’s phone rings loudly. The owner looks down at it before sighing and shutting the alarm off, looking at his parents apologetically.

“I think we need to start going now,” he says, dimming the entire atmosphere. “We all have classes tomorrow, Jen and I have swim practice and Jaemin has soccer practice,” he explains, hauling Donghyuck up onto his feet by the hand. 

“That’s a shame,” their dad comments, also sighing as he gets up from his seat. “But we get it.” 

“Actually… Can I talk to Jaemin and Donghyuck for a minute?” Jeno’s mother pipes up, and Jaemin would be lying if he said his heart rate didn’t pick up with anxiety. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck cheers for the both of them, grabbing Jaemin’s arm and pulling them over to her. “Markie, why don’t you find the car keys before Jeno does? I wanna ride shotgun.”

Donghyuck barely gets to finish his sentence before both Jeno and Mark are sprinting into the house, with their amused dad following behind them. 

“You two are absolutely adorable,” Jeno’s mom comments, drawing their attention back to her. “I’m so glad my sons have found partners like you.” 

“Don’t say that, Donghyuck’s ego will get bigger than it already is,” Jaemin jokes to distract himself from the warm and fuzzy feelings which swarm his insides. 

It means more than the world, hearing those words come from Jeno’s mom. 

Maybe it was because she has the kindest soul he’s ever seen, or because he’s severely lacking a maternal presence in his life. Whatever the reason, Jaemin knows it’s more than just superficial. 

And he hopes Donghyuck can feel it too. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” she continues after her laughter has died down. “You two have another brother, right?” 

Donghyuck and Jaemin share a look at the mention of their other brother, clearly very protective over him. 

“Um yeah, his name is Jisung,” Donghyuck answers. 

“Jisung…” She repeats, letting the name fall onto her tongue. She smiles again before speaking. “Next time, bring Jisung with you. I’d love to meet him.” 

Honest to God, Jaemin might’ve teared up if he hadn’t already cried in front of this woman today. 

But that doesn’t mean Donghyuck can’t tear up. 

“R-Really?” He clarifies, looking like she had just offered to buy them the moon. 

Jaemin knows he hasn’t been with Donghyuck and Jisung as long as they’ve been with each other, and it’s because of that time that Jaemin wasn’t there, that they both had relatively good childhoods. 

But after his secret came out and everything had been aired out, Jaemin has noticed how much of a distance Jisung has put between him and their mom. 

On one hand, he doesn’t blame Jisung for doing that, no one would want to be close to that lady, but on the other he feels guilty for being the reason why that space was there. 

He feels the same way with Donghyuck, but with Donghyuck it’s that he’s a bit older and understands his fate more, and doesn’t let his emotions cloud his thoughts. 

He’s let them both know before that if it weren’t for what he presented as, they’d both still have a family. They  _ all  _ would. Likewise, both Donghyuck and Jisung have let him know that they wouldn’t have wanted someone rotten like her anyways. 

Back to the point though, Donghyuck had been worried about the distance Jisung had been imposing, afraid that he wouldn’t have a support system nearby during one of the most stressful years in his life. 

So hearing Mark’s mother offer to meet Jisung, saying she’d  _ love  _ to meet Jisung, makes Donghyuck a bit more emotional than necessary. 

“Of course! What a lovely bunch, the three of you make.”

He knows Jisung will want to.

Neither Jaemin nor Donghyuck know what they did in a past life to deserve such a loving mother figure come into their lives, especially at a time like this where they didn’t think they needed one. 

One thing is for sure though; they’d be damned if they let her go. 

  
  
  


Jaemin and Donghyuck wait in the car for a few minutes to give Jeno and Mark the privacy to say goodbye to their parents, turning the air conditioning on to get the car cool. 

“Why the hell is your seat reclined so far back?” Donghyuck grumbles as he adjusts the passenger’s seat, moving it up straighter. 

“I’m taller than you?” Jaemin answers like it’s obvious, putting on his seatbelt. He’s sitting in the middle seat for one of two reasons. The first one being that the cool air from the air conditioning is direct from here, and the second being it’s easier to lay on Jeno when the older boy comes in. 

“Anyway,” Donghyuck dismisses, like he always does when the conversation of his height comes into play. “Did you have fun? I feel like I don’t even need to ask, you were glowing the entire time.” 

Jaemin finds himself nodding to Donghyuck’s question before he’s even done speaking, and also finds a small smile crawling onto his face when Donghyuck mentions that his happiness was visible. 

Was he really glowing? 

“Yeah, it was nice feeling like… Like it was home,” he says softly. 

“It did feel like that, didn’t it?” Donghyuck sighs happily, as if he still couldn’t believe what the past few hours had entailed. He doesn’t say anything for a bit after that, until he turns around in his seat to stare directly at Jaemin. 

Donghyuck fixes him with a pointed look, like he was trying to look inside of his brain. 

And then, he turns completely serious. 

Jaemin raises an eyebrow. 

“… Are you going to mate Jeno?” 

Jaemin’s eyes widen until they’re comically large, and he feels a strange sensation bubble inside of him when Donghyuck mentions it. 

He knows what love, happiness, sadness, stress and adoration bubble like, so he isn’t too sure what the feeling inside of him is right now. 

He hasn’t thought about it, because he didn’t think he needed to. All he knows was that he’s never going to love someone the way he loves Jeno, and that in the back of his mind, forever with Jeno doesn’t sound bad at all. 

But the back of his mind is also where there is an endless plethora of self doubting questions, questions without answers that Jaemin didn't want to get into. 

At least not yet. 

Thankfully though, Jaemin is saved from answering the question when Mark opens the front door of the car, followed by Jeno who opens the door on his left. 

“Ready to go?” Mark asks as he buckled up, which causes Donghyuck to reluctantly look away and face the front again as he answers Mark. 

“Yep,” he says, to which Jeno and Jaemin chorus. 

“Great.”

Jeno and Mark’s parents watch them back out of the driveway, and they all wave a final goodbye before the house is out of sight. 

For a house that he didn’t even grow up in, Jaemin feels sad leaving it behind. 

But he doesn’t think about that for too long, seeing as Jeno placing an arm around his shoulders distracts him. 

“Thank you for coming along today,” he says, ruffling the back of Jaemin’s hair lightly. The latter is briefly

reminded of Jeno saying he’d pull on it, but that thought is thrown away when Jeno continues to talk. “They love you a lot.” 

He’s heard it a few times today, but right now, in a hushed conversation with Jeno, it feels stronger. 

Because there’s no one else listening, and there’s no one around them. 

Because Jaemin knows that he means it. 

“I love them a lot too,” Jaemin answers, leaning more into Jeno and laying his head down on his shoulder. “Thank you for inviting me.” 

Jeno doesn’t say much after, so Jaemin doesn’t either. Instead, he closes his eyes and lets Jeno’s scent invade his senses, feeling immediate comfort and warmth bloom inside of him.

This feeling of safety and love he only ever feels around Jeno is something Jaemin knows he’ll never get tired of. 

The next time Donghyuck looks into the rear view mirror, he sees Jaemin’s face relaxed and eyes closed. 

“Pst. Jeno!” He calls in a slight whisper, successfully gathering said boy’s attention. “Is Jaemin asleep?” He asks. 

Jeno double checks by slightly looking at Jaemin and then tapping his temple. When he gets no reaction, he deems Jaemin asleep, and tells Donghyuck as much. 

“Okay so,” Donghyuck starts. “Jaemin will most likely be embarrassed and won’t admit it, so I’ll say it for the both of us, to the both of you.” 

This gathers Mark and Jeno’s attention in full, and now they’re both attentive to what Donghyuck has to say. 

“I’m sure it goes unsaid that Jaemin’s childhood sucked,” he starts, and Jeno sucks in a sharp breath at that. 

He hates thinking about it, or even talking about it, but there’s no way around it when it's the truth. 

“And I liked to think I had a pretty tame one until secrets came out,” Donghyuck continues, and Jeno feels the mood in the car drop by a lot. 

He doesn’t know how often Mark and Donghyuck talk about this, but there’s a reason why he and Jaemin avoid it as much as possible. 

It’s not something nice to remember, so Jeno doesn’t want to trouble Jaemin with the memories. He guesses that’s why Donghyuck asked if Jaemin was asleep before he started talking about this. 

“Today was the first time in a very long while, I think, that Jaemin and I felt like we were finally at home. So thank you guys, for everything. I won’t speak too much on Jaemin, he rightfully hates when I do that, but just know that… Today meant a lot more to him and I than he’d ever let on.” 

As Jeno tunes out the rest of what Donghyuck says to Mark, he wonders if Jaemin will tell him, one day, how much this truly means to him. 

Because everyone knows that if there’s one thing Jeno loves, it’s making Jaemin happy. And he’d love it even more, if Jaemin could talk to him so that he knows what to do next time to make him feel all the good things he felt today, again, and again, and again… 

  
  
  


Jeno only wakes Jaemin up when they’re five minutes away from their apartment, and it surprisingly doesn’t take long before he’s stirring awake.

Very slowly, Jaemin blinks his eyes open until they’re wide and unfocused, trying to gage his surroundings. 

“You’re almost home,” Jeno explains once he sees the confused look on Jaemin’s face. He helps the younger sit up properly and brushes his bangs out of his eyes. “Try to sleep early, remember, you have soccer practice tomorrow morning,” he reminds, and Jaemin only nods his head in acknowledgment. 

Jeno guesses he’s more tired than he thought. 

The both of them step out of the back so that Jeno can take over Donghyuck’s spot, and while they let Mark and Donghyuck say goodbye in the car, Jeno hugs Jaemin tight outside of the car. 

“My mom gave you her number, right?” Jeno asks as they’re still pressed together, and Jaemin nods silently. “Text or call her whenever, she’ll be really excited.”

“Okay,” Jaemin whispers with a small smile on his face. 

They pull away then, and Jeno is reminded of what Donghyuck had said not too long ago. 

He doesn’t bring it up through, and instead brings one hand up to Jaemin’s face, thumb under his eye like he knows Jaemin likes. 

When Jeno leans in to kiss him, Jaemin meets him halfway. Even by the way Jaemin kisses, Jeno can tell he’s tired. 

“Goodnight, Nana,” Jeno coos endearingly, seeing how slowly Jaemin blinks. 

Jaemin can’t even find it in himself to tell Jeno off for this. 

“G’night. I love you, Jen,” he mumbles, hearing Donghyuck get out of the car. 

Jeno only smiles again, softer as he squeezes Jaemin’s hand once more, letting him go while saying,

“I love you too.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Although he’s used to seeing Jeno most mornings in the locker room, he knows it’s not an everyday occurrence. 

Sometimes their practices don’t line up, but they have been for a while, so Jaemin is a bit taken aback when he doesn’t see Jeno waiting up against his locker for him like usual. 

But he doesn’t think much of it, and simply gets changed quickly. He tries to see if Mark is around, maybe he could ask him, but he can’t seem to find him. 

So Jaemin tries to push the thoughts to the back of his mind during practice; just focusing on their game plays and formations since there are a few upcoming games. 

He doesn’t feel as tired as he normally is after practice, and he thinks it has to do with how he got a good amount of sleep last night. He ended up passing out right as he got home, and he’s surprised he managed to sleep through Donghyuck’s violent gaming. 

Jaemin spends a few minutes talking to Renjun and Yukhei during their cool down on the grass, and he’s glad to know that there isn’t a difference in the way they act around him.

He kind of knew since day one that Renjun would be indifferent, and he’s glad his best friend is still around like normal. He has an inkling that Donghyuck might’ve also let something slip, Donghyuck and Renjun aren't  _ best friends  _ for nothing, but he doesn’t have the heart to ask him about it yet.

For now, he just wants to enjoy the simplicity. 

Yukhei on the other hand… While Renjun had told him that Yukhei didn’t care and that nothing would change, he found it hard to believe without actually speaking to the older boy. 

But now, after a conversation and their usual banter, Jaemin knows Renjun was right. He shouldn’t have expected anything less from Yukhei anyway, he wasn’t known as a walking talking sweetheart for nothing. 

Because of this, and just a little bit because of Jeno's absence, Jaemin feels comfortable in the locker rooms after a long time. As long as he’s with Renjun and Yukhei, he doesn’t feel like everyone is staring at him and trying to catch a whiff of his scent. 

He walks with Renjun to their next class, and feels light on his feet. 

Jaemin doesn’t know if it’s because the reality of yesterday hasn’t washed away, or if it’s because of Renjun and the simple way he made him feel back to normal. 

Regardless, he buys Renjun a light breakfast on their way to the lecture hall. 

When he checks his phone as they wait for their professor, he frowns a bit at how there isn’t a message from Jeno like there usually is. 

Jaemin wouldn’t say he  _ expects  _ one every morning, but since he has been getting a good morning text every morning, he finds it weird how there isn’t one today. 

He figures the least he can do is be the one who sends a text first today, Jeno is always the first one to do it because he’s always awake earlier. 

**to:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_ good morning honey (ﾉ´ з `)ノ _

_ sleeping in today? _

_ if you don’t answer these by the time my classes are finished, i’m coming over❤️ _

Jaemin leaves it at that, not wanting to wake Jeno up if he really was just sleeping in today. 

He focuses on his next three classes instead, sharing the last one with Renjun as well. 

As Renjun bides him goodbye and reminds him to get a good rest, Jaemin checks his phone to see if there’s anything from Jeno. 

There isn’t. 

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t getting worried, but it’s because Jeno always likes to be in constant communication with him. So it’s weird when Jeno is the one who’s silent. 

But everyone has off days, Jaemin guesses. Though, as he’s making his way to Jeno’s dorm, he also wants Jeno to tell him when he’s having an off day. 

Just so that his blood pressure doesn’t skyrocket like it has been today.

Anyway, as he’s on his way, he walks by their favourite café/bakery, the same one they bought their cake to commemorate officially getting together, and decides to pick something up.

If it was an off day, he hopes the least he can do is make it slightly better. 

Jaemin picks up a box of six macarons, all consisting of Jeno’s favourite flavours, and makes his way back on route towards Jeno’s dorm.

He doesn’t really know how Jeno managed to snag another copy of his door scanner, but he’s glad he has one when he stands outside Jeno’s door knocking for five minutes without an answer. 

As he fishes the key out of his bag, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t getting really worried now. 

It was unusual for Jeno to be so MIA, and very out of character. 

However, as Jaemin swipes the card and steps foot into Jeno’s dorm; it all makes a bit of sense. 

It absolutely  _ reeks.  _

Every square inch is thick with tree bark and vodka, Jeno’s pheromones covering the entire space. 

And he was only standing in the doorway. He has no idea how much stronger it’ll be the farther he goes. 

He finds out soon though, as he makes his way to put the box of macarons on the counter, discarding his bag to the side too. 

He checks the calendar on his phone quickly, and sees that Jeno’s rut wasn’t supposed to hit for another two days. It’s earlier this time, but Jaemin guesses he should’ve seen it coming. Jeno has been getting more possessive and touchy feely recently. 

Still, normally he isn’t worried when he is in rut. Sure Jeno spends a few days cooped up alone, desperate and… Well,  _ insatiable _ , but that’s all it is at the end of the day. 

Jaemin never really got involved. 

Not because he didn’t  _ want  _ to, but because he just wasn’t ready yet… 

But that conversation had taken place almost two months ago, and now, standing in the middle of Jeno’s tree bark and vodka infused dorm with only a single door between them, Jaemin wouldn’t mind helping Jeno. 

It’s just one more step in their relationship, and although it’s a big one, it’s one Jaemin wouldn’t mind taking today. 

And he’s not as nervous as he thought he’d be walking to Jeno’ door, because it’s not anything they haven’t done before… Right? 

He never talked about ruts because it reminded him of how he couldn’t have them when he was expected to be an alpha, and Jaemin never really asked about them, plus everything he learned in school was a bit vague. He refrained from asking Jisung and Donghyuck questions because that just felt wrong, and he never really asked Jeno about them either. 

You learn something new everyday though, right? 

So Jaemin doesn’t know what he’s expecting when he opens the door to Jeno’s room, but it probably wasn’t Jeno passed out shirtless, only in boxers. 

But what he notices more than Jeno, is the ridiculously potent scent. It’s almost unbearable, but Jaemin guesses it’s okay for him because of how used to it he is. 

Jaemin walks in slowly, and makes sure to close the door behind him too. He doesn’t know if he should touch Jeno or not, so he settles on sitting on the floor by his head, cross legged. 

Since he doesn’t know what his touch will do, Jaemin decides on just sitting there until Jeno wakes up. Which, in retrospect, is a stupid idea since Jeno could be asleep for hours, but it makes sense in Jaemin’s head, so he just decides to roll with it. 

He learns it wasn’t the smartest idea, however, when he starts to stir awake and sniff the air a few minutes later. 

He also learns that maybe he shouldn’t have come over unannounced, when he hears a low growl escape from Jeno’s lips. 

Jaemin doesn’t know what to say when Jeno starts turning around to inevitably face him, so he stays silent as Jeno finally sees him staring back at him with wide eyes. 

“Jaemin,” Jeno hisses, glaring at the younger as he sits up. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Jaemin wastes time where he could’ve been answering Jeno’s question by acknowledging how the older boy keeps shifting his legs every few seconds, and steals a glance at the very obvious tent in Jeno’s boxers. 

Subconsciously, he gulps. 

From closer, Jeno’s pheromones have the edge of arousal that isn’t always there, and it’s finally seeming to have its effects on Jaemin, as his own gut swirls and his length hardens between his legs. 

And then, he remembers he has to answer Jeno’s question. 

“I didn’t hear from you all day,” he explains, looking back at Jeno’s face and not between his legs. He admits it’s a bit challenging to keep his eyes on Jeno’s face though, especially when his bare torso was right in front of him. “So I got worried but when I came in I smelled your rut— I wanna help.” 

Jeno doesn’t say anything at first, but his thoughts on Jaemin’s words are obvious with the way his scent spikes with a more intense power. 

He wants it too. 

“Safe word?” 

“Coriander,” Jaemin recites, and he brightens up when Jeno puts a hand on the back of his head. 

“If you say yes, I can’t control myself,” Jeno warns, looking Jaemin dead in the eyes. 

It takes a lot of trust, they both know, to spend a rut together. Jaemin trusts himself and Jeno, while Jeno trusts himself and Jaemin. 

“Do you want to do this?”

So Jaemin doesn’t hesitate answering, it was a no brainer. 

“Yes.” 

Jeno’s fingers dig into his hair at the affirmation, and Jaemin’s breath already hitches at the sensation. 

Admittedly, all the other times they’ve slept together, which Jaemin can count on one hand, have been relatively tame. But Jaemin knows this won’t be anything like the other times. This time, Jeno is insatiable and they’re together now as a couple with a deep emotional bond. 

Jaemin doesn’t know what to expect, but he makes a mental note to be obedient when Jeno pulls on his hair until he’s kneeling on both knees in front of him. He doesn’t know what’s in store, but he wouldn’t want to upset the other either way. 

Jeno wordlessly guides Jaemin’s head down between his spread open legs, and the younger doesn’t waste any time before mouthing at his hard length through the fabric. 

He hears Jeno moan low in his throat, and it only serves to spur him on as he gets the fabric all wet with his saliva. 

This only lasts for a few more seconds before Jeno pulls his boxers down, revealing his cock which slaps against his abs, angry, thick, veiny. 

Jaemin mouth waters at the sight. 

So he doesn’t even wait for Jeno’s instruction before he takes the tip into his mouth, swirling his tongue around and over, gradually taking more and more as the minutes tick by. 

Jaemin seems to be going too slow for Jeno’s liking though, as the latter grips his hair harder and pushes him down onto his entire length. 

Jeno’s cock pushes down and past his throat, causing an obscene wet sound to echo around the room. His throat burns a bit, and he sees his vision blur, but Jeno is loud above him, and it makes him twitch in his own boxers. 

Jaemin lets Jeno take over now, lets the other boy guide his head up and down. All he does is relax his jaw and ease up, and he knows it’s paying off when he looks up at Jeno through his eyelashes to see his head tilted back in pleasure. 

It’s at that moment that Jeno looks down at Jaemin, just to see him looking back up at him with big and wet doe eyes. 

“Fuck,” he grunts, holding Jaemin’s head in place just to see the way spit falls from the corner of his lips. He keeps Jaemin’s head still and thrusts his hips forward instead, spurred on by how Jaemin’s gags around his length. 

He only stops when his knot begins to build up and knock into Jaemin’s lips every thrust, finally pulling the younger off and jerking himself to the sight of Jaemin’s debauched look. 

His teary eyes, pink cheeks and red lips, all aid in bringing Jeno to the edge, where he curses loudly and finishes himself on Jaemin’s face. 

Almost instinctively, Jaemin’s mouth opens up and tongue lolls out, catching Jeno’s cum in his mouth. 

He only blushes violently after Jeno stares at him, chest rising and falling rapidly, as he realizes what he did. 

“Jeno—”

“Come here,” the older boy cuts off.

“I—”

“ _ Come here _ ,” 

Jaemin’s whimpers at the new authoritative edge in Jeno’s tone, scrambling up next to him, never mind cleaning up his face. 

Jeno gets his hands on him immediately, harshly gripping his waist and kissing him roughly. 

The feeling of Jeno licking into his mouth makes Jaemin moan, his hands scrambling to find purchase on the other boy. 

Jeno’s hands don't stay in one place for long, already pulling his shirt out of his pants and over his head. Now it’s Jeno’s hands on his bare skin, and it sends goosebumps and sparks along his body simultaneously. 

Jeno pushes him down onto the bed, and stays on top of him as he’s kissing his neck. Jaemin feels more teeth than he normally does, but he doesn’t complain because the slight sting is extremely pleasurable. 

“Mine,” Jeno growls into his skin, nipping particularity harshly right near Jaemin’s scent glands. If he was interested enough to sniff the air, he knows it’d be reeking of not only Jeno’s scent, but his own too. “You're  _ mine _ .” 

“Okay,” Jaemin nods, and if he wasn’t ready to submit the second he dropped to his knees, he is now when Jeno’s pheromones cloud up his senses. 

“Say it,” the other boy commands, catching skin between his teeth and relishing in the cry Jaemin lets out. 

“I’m yours,” Jaemin says, throwing his head back as Jeno makes his way further down his body. Toying with his nipples, leaving hickeys on his abs, stripping him of his pants and boxers. 

“I’m yours  _ what _ ?” Jeno emphasizes, spreading Jaemin’s legs open himself. His mouth waters when he sees Jaemin’s cute and little pink hole, clenching around nothing but air. 

Jeno doesn’t waste any more time before he kisses along Jaemin’s thighs, but in the end he leaves more bruises than kisses, in the shape of his fingertips, lips and bites. 

Just to remind Jaemin that he has a question to answer, Jeno slaps a hand down on the inside of his thigh, earning a high pitched moan from the younger. 

“I’m yours Alpha!” Jaemin whines, and when Jeno looks up, his neck is bared. 

And that’s all it takes for Jeno’s mouth to run dry. 

“Fuck, don’t do that,” Jeno groans, grabbing lube from his bedside drawer and slathering up his fingers. 

“Alpha,” Jaemin calls, reaching out for any part of Jeno, a little satiated when he finds a grip on his shoulders. His mind is all Jeno, tree bark, and vodka, and for lack of better words, Jaemin really is drunk on Jeno. 

Drunk on Jeno when he smells how possessive he is despite them being alone, drunk on Jeno when he feels his first finger enter his hole, drunk on Jeno when he starts nosing up his neck and scenting him. 

“Everyone’s gonna know you’re mine,” Jeno promises, working his fingers inside of Jaemin. His eyes keep focus on the way Jaemin’s face is scrunched up in pleasure, and his alpha goes crazy for knowing that he’s the reason why Jaemin is writhing underneath him. “They won’t even think of looking at you because  _ you  _ belong to  _ me _ .”

More than the feeling of Jeno scissoring his fingers, Jeno words get sent right to Jaemin’s gut. 

Jaemin knows he’s going to reek of Jeno by the end of this, but he can’t find it in himself to hate that. Not when he loves the smell of Jeno and is set ablaze by the thought of everyone knowing he smells like Jeno. 

When Jeno sees Jaemin nodding his head along to everything he’s said, a carnal desire blooms inside of him. 

Realistically, and if he weren’t rut-hazed, he knows Jaemin is his boyfriend, and isn’t going anywhere. But right now, watching him agree to everything, watching him agree to the idea of  _ belonging  _ to him, makes absolute pride swell in his chest. 

“My omega,” he whispers right into Jaemin’s ear, crooking his fingers the right way which makes the younger absolutely  _ sob  _ underneath him. “No one else is ever going to get you like this, only  _ me _ ,  _ I’m  _ your alpha.”

“Alpha,” Jaemin cries out, raking his nails down Jeno’s back when the latter won’t stop  _ talking,  _ talking absolutely filth into his ears with his pheromones all over the place and fingers up his ass. “Please, please fuck me.”

And Jaemin has never been so desperate for Jeno in his whole life, but right now it isn’t Jaemin who’s begging for Jeno, it’s Jaemin’s omega begging for Jeno’s alpha, and all he wants is to help the other through his rut. 

Jeno wouldn’t be in rut if he wasn’t desperate, quickly lubing up his length and removing his fingers, because his omega begged so prettily to be fucked. 

So what kind of person would Jeno be to deny him?

Jeno positions Jaemin the way he wants, on his knees in front of the mirror. He grabs onto Jaemin’s hair and pulls his head up, making him look at their reflection as Jeno lays on top of him. 

“Keep looking,” Jeno grunts, making sure Jaemin is looking before he starts slowly inching his length inside of the younger. 

Jaemin already feels better than his fist, what he had been using for the hours prior to Jaemin’s arrival. He’s tight and warm, and the way Jaemin scrunches his face up in pleasure is an image he’s never going to forget. 

But alas, Jaemin’s eyes are closed. And Jeno can’t have any of that, so he pulls on Jaemin’s hair harder, right at the grown out roots, and makes him look at himself. 

“Watch yourself,” Jeno hisses, starting with a brutal pace from the beginning. “Watch yourself come on my cock and take my knot,” he grunts, the only sounds in the room being the harsh slap of skin on skin and Jaemin’s high pitched moans and whines. 

His scalp aches, his leaking cock is pressed helplessly agaisnt the sheets between his body, and he’s on fire as Jeno pounds into him mercilessly. 

But Jaemin takes it and takes it, because it’s never felt as good as it does now. And the added fact that he’s helping his boyfriend, his Jeno,  _ his alpha _ , electrifies everything times one hundred. 

Jeno’s hand doesn’t leave his hair, and Jaemin’s eyes can’t leave their reflection. 

He can’t stop looking at the way Jeno’s eyebrows scrunch together, how his chest rises and falls rapidly, how his hips slam down. 

There’s one thing he can’t see though, but when he feels it, when he feels Jeno’s swelling knot catch on his rim, he’s not looking at their reflection anymore as his eyes roll to the back of his head. 

He hasn’t felt an alpha’s knot before, nor does he know what it’s supposed to feel like. 

One thing he does know though is that he wants Jeno’s inside of him. 

“Knot me,” Jaemin moans, twisting his head around at a weird angle to look at Jeno. “Please Alpha, I want your knot,” he begs, whining highly when Jeno growls at his words. 

Jeno doesn’t say anything, but he does push Jaemin’s head back, a hand on the base of his neck as he keeps Jaemin face down on the mattress. All his moans and whines are muffled like this, but he feels Jeno’s knot swell even more against his rim, and it’s all he can think about. 

Jaemin doesn’t even really register when he comes, just feels euphoria course through his veins, and blinding, hot pleasure takes over his body. 

Maybe he’s babbling, maybe he’s calling for Jeno, but he’s not coherent enough to know for sure, not when he’s hypersensitive and Jeno keeps hammering right into his prostate. 

But he does become more aware, when Jeno stills and Jaemin feels his knot push past his rim, until they’re locked together with Jeno’s cum pumping into him. 

“ _ Mine, mine, my omega, _ ” 

“Alpha!” Jaemin sobs, breathless as he tries to adjust to the feeling of Jeno’s knot inside of him. 

At his cry, Jeno finally lets go of the back of his neck and slowly moves them around, careful not to jostle their bodies too much. With how careful he’s being, Jaemin knows his head is clearing up a bit after his orgasm. 

Jaemin still whimpers with every movement, and his eyes don’t stop welling up. New tears start to join the ones that are already drying on his cheeks, even as Jeno brings his hands up to wipe them away. 

“Does it hurt?” He asks gently, no more edge to his voice, no more rumble and no more growl. It’s just soft and sweet Jeno underneath him, and it’s only now that Jaemin realizes the older boy has manoeuvred them into a position where Jaemin is laying on top of him. 

“No, I just— Not used to it,” he explains through a sniff, using his fingers to hold onto Jeno, now that they’re no longer buzzing. “Are you feeling better now?” Jaemin asks, nuzzling his nose right where Jeno’s scent gland is. Because even if the entire dorm reeks of him, now when Jaemin takes a sniff, there’s no tinge of arousal. 

“Yeah, I am,” he answers, grabbing the discarded blanket when he sees Jaemin shiver. He covers them both with it, and massages Jaemin’s scalp lightly. It must ache a little. “I’m sorry I forgot to tell you baby. And for pulling your hair.” 

Jaemin giggles a little from where he’s hidden away, and lifts his head up slowly to press a kiss to Jeno’s cheek. 

“That’s okay. And I like it when you pull my hair anyway.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“You can ignore her,” Donghyuck says pointedly, and although Jaemin knows he has a point, he knows he can’t ignore her again. 

“I’ve been ignoring her everyday for a week,” he sighs, looking at his ringing phone contemplatively. He reaches for it, but Donghyuck slaps his hand away before he can. 

“I mean it,” Donghyuck hisses, hitting the decline button on Jaemin’s screen. 

The younger’s eyes widen comically, and he’s scrabbling for his phone immediately. He opens the text message app just to see his mother’s text bubbles in their chat conversation, and exists out of there right after. 

“You just killed me,” Jaemin gulps, staring at his phone for all of three seconds before his screen lights up again with an incoming call. 

This time, he doesn’t give Donghyuck the chance to interfere. Just because Donghyuck wasn’t scared shitless of their mother didn’t mean he was too. 

“Hi Mama, sorry I couldn’t find my phone,” Jaemin explains once he answers, hoping his voice doesn’t come off as shaky as his nerves feel. “Between the couch cushions. No, Donghyuck isn’t home.”

He sends Donghyuck a look he hopes is threatening when he says this, but he doesn’t think it works too well when all Donghyuck does is roll his eyes back at him. 

Jaemin can only hope Donghyuck stays quiet. 

“Yeah, this morning right after breakfast,” he lies through his teeth, referring to when he had taken the pills his mother still thinks he takes. 

Jaemin doesn’t think he’s a good liar, but he also doesn’t think his mother is stupid. One of those things are wrong though, because she seems to believe him when he says he had taken them. 

He sort of wishes the conversation ended there, but she doesn’t say goodbye yet. 

In fact, she keeps talking, and what she says makes Jaemin’s blood run cold. 

“Jaeminnie, sweetheart did you forget that all of your medical statements get sent here?” 

He’s at a loss of what to say, it’s obvious what she’s talking about, he’s only been to the doctor’s for one thing lately. 

But he doesn’t have an excuse for that, he doesn’t know how to explain himself.  _ If  _ there’s even a way he can explain himself. 

He’s still glad he’s not on speaker phone though, because he knows that Donghyuck would’ve started telling her off by now. 

Instead, Jaemin just gulps and tightens his grip on the phone. 

Whatever she says next, he can’t waver. He can’t let her know that she’s getting to him, so he steels his nerves and hopes for the best. 

“I don’t remember going recently though?” He says confusedly, hoping he could play it off. 

He wouldn’t call three to four months ago ‘recent’, but paper mailed statements take forever to be received, so he forgot all about that once he received his email copy. 

It’s all biting him in the ass now, as he can see. 

“Jaemin,” she quips harshly, and although she can’t see him, although she isn’t here, his back straightens immediately and he looks more alert as he gnaws his bottom lip between his teeth. “Don’t play stupid and explain what I’m reading.” 

He knows he’s already lost this, maybe he should’ve expected failure the moment he tried to convince himself it’d be okay. 

It’s never okay with her, because she always ends up winning somehow, some way, for some reason. 

So all he can do now is think on his feet. 

Jaemin knows that no matter what, he can’t tell her that he’s stopped taking the pills. He just needs to quickly think of an excuse. 

All while Donghyuck is glaring daggers into his skull, but it’s easier to ignore that after living with it for so long. 

“I had a bad flu and got a check up,” he lies, thrumming his fingers on his thigh anxiously. “They must’ve found out all those other things…” 

It sounds absolutely weak to his ears, but he hopes it’s enough. It’s rare that his hardest is ever enough with his mom, but if Jaemin could choose one time where the odds work in his favour, it’d be now. 

And thankfully, for once, the odds are in his favour. 

“Truthfully, I don’t care for how this came about,” she says coldly, and Jaemin wonders how numb he’s become when the pang sent to his heart from her words doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. “All that matters is that this doesn’t get out to anyone. Especially those new friends of yours.” 

Jaemin knows she’s talking about Jeno, who she knows as Mark, and it makes his blood boil with how she’s talking about him. 

On another note, he doesn’t know how to tell her that there are already people who know, more than he can count on one hand. 

So he doesn’t. 

Instead, he nods his head before realizing that she can’t see him. 

“Of course no one knows,” he says, and he finds it funny how easy it is to lie to her. Sort of. Another part of him finds it scary. 

“And another thing,” she continues, to which Jaemin has to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. She’s already putting a strain on him by talking to him, and all this stress couldn’t be doing him any good. “You should be glad you’re infertile. It’s just another hindrance to have to have hidden about you.” 

And Jaemin thought that he could hear anything from her, and it wouldn’t hurt as much. 

Anything she can say, could never hurt more than what he’s already heard from her. 

But he seemed to have forgotten that she now knows one of his biggest insecurities. The biggest thing which always makes him feel inferior. 

Jaemin isn’t surprised she’s using it against him. 

But that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. 

It feels like someone has physically ripped his heart out of his chest, leaving a large, bleeding, and gaping hole. It’s like someone then proceeded to stomp all over it, to smithereens until there was no more. 

Oddly enough, he has no more tears to cry over this woman. He’s shed more than he’s proud of over the course of the last six years, but his body still feels like it does when he cries actual tears. 

Funnily though, this time, nothing drips from his eyes. 

“M-Mama,” he still manages to sound wounded though, and he guesses that’s what she thrives off of more than anything. Knowing she’s affected her, knowing she’s the reason he’s hurt. 

It’s something twisted, but it’s something he wouldn’t put past her. 

“What? Don’t tell me you’re sad about it?” She scoffs mockingly, successfully making Jaemin feel like his emotions towards the whole thing are a joke. 

He whimpers at her knife-like tone, like her mere words are stabbing him. 

Jaemin can see Donghyuck getting more worried now that he’s showing a negative reaction to what he’s hearing, but Jaemin can’t find it in himself to worry about him right now. 

What did his mother even know about being infertile? Does she know the pain that comes with not being able to bear your own children? 

Sure, she’s an alpha, but that means she never even had the option to bear a biological child. Jaemin had the option, had the  _ chance,  _ but it was ripped away from him before he could make any decisions of his own. 

And he’ll never forgive her, or his dad, for being the reason why he’ll never be able to have his own kids. Not only does this tear Jaemin to shreds, it’s devastating for his future mate too. 

It’s a pain Jaemin knows his mother can’t comprehend. 

But he feels too hurt to even try and snap back at her for this one. 

“Jaemin, don't be ridiculous,” she continues, and the laugh she huffs out gets sent straight to Jaemin’s heart like a shard of glass. If his heart was still even there. “If you’d like to be sad, find some real problems to cry over.”

He doesn’t know what snaps inside of him, what gives him enough confidence to weakly utter a few measly words, but he doesn’t waste the opportunity.

Because even if it’s small, even if it’s unsuccessful, and even if it’s embarrassing, Jaemin will try to stand up to her every chance he gets. 

“Mama, it is something to be sad over!” He exclaims, and from the corner of his eye, he sees Donghyuck startle. “They’re mine! My  _ babies _ , I’ll never be able to have my babies!”

Donghyuck is more than concerned now, knowing that Jaemin is never stable when he’s talking about this particularly sensitive subject. 

He tries to grab the phone from Jaemin, but the younger wrestles himself out of the way and glares at Donghyuck. 

If their mom knew someone else was listening in on this, he’ll end up in more shit than he’s already in. And this time, Donghyuck would be dragged into this. 

The last thing he wants to do is bring people down with him, bring them deeper down than he already has. That’s a type of guilt he knows he won’t be able to live with. 

“Omegas have babies, Jaemin,” his mother sighs, her tone laced with disgust. “You’re not an omega.”

_ I am,  _ he wants to say, but he bites back his tongue. 

“I have to go now honey,” she says before Jaemin can say anything, switching back to sounding like she loved him. 

Jaemin can’t believe it took him this long to acknowledge that she doesn’t love him. 

“I’ll see you soon, I love—”

Jaemin hangs up before she can finish what she was saying. 

For once, he doesn’t care about the consequences. 

He just can’t hear her lie to him anymore. 

“Jaemin?”

He almost forgets Donghyuck is here with him, but once he does, he releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

Jaemin puts his phone down back on the table wordlessly, and he can’t find the words to answer Donghyuck. He feels like they’re all caught in his throat, he feels like there’s  _ nothing _ he can even say. 

What is he supposed to say, after that? 

Luckily though, he has someone like Donghyuck in his life. Someone who he doesn’t need to use words with to be understood. 

“I’m gonna run you a bath,” Donghyuck says, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder, to make sure he’s okay with it, before guiding them to the younger’s bedroom. “Pick put some comfy clothes, take a nice bath and then sleep in early, okay?” 

He still doesn’t say anything, but he does pick out some clean clothes as Donghyuck leaves his room. 

When he makes it to the bathroom, there’s bubbles in the tub and Donghyuck has lined up Jaemin’s shampoo for easy access on the edge of the tub. 

It’s as simple as drawing water and adding soap, but Jaemin is so overwhelmed right now that his shoulders hunch and his arms whined around Donghyuck in a hug. 

“Hyuck please,” he sighs shakily, not even knowing what he’s pleading for. He just knows Donghyuck’s warmth and comforting scent provides wonders for him. “I can’t take her anymore.” 

“You don’t have to, I’m sorry,” the older boy sighs, hugging Jaemin back tightly, making sure his love is able to be felt like this. “I promise Jaemin, it’ll all be over before you know it. I love you Nana.” 

Jaemin lets go and Donghyuck leaves the bathroom quietly. He strips out of his clothes and steps into the tub one foot at a time, letting the warm water seep deep into his bones. 

When he gets his entire body inside, the warmth does as much as it can to mend the empty cold in his chest, and although it sounds dramatic, Jaemin doesn’t know how else to describe it.

It all feels empty, everything feels empty as he washes his hair and stays in the water until his skin is wrinkly everywhere. 

He admits he feels a bit better as he steps out of the tub and pulls the plug out of the drain, but the pains in his chest remain, and his movements are slow as he mosturizes himself and steps into his clean clothes. 

Jaemin knew the whole phone call ordeal had cut into dinner time, but he’s completely lost all of his appetite just now. He has no intentions of joining Donghyuck, afraid he wouldn’t be able to keep it down. He lets this much be known to his brother, who sends him to bed with a kiss on the forehead. 

Jaemin doesn’t immediately get under the covers or turn off the lights when the door of his room is closed behind him. Rather, it’s with lethargic movements that he sits down at the edge of his bed, willing his mind to decide what to do.

It’s been empty for about an hour at this point, and he stares blankly at the door as he waits for his mind to make a decision about what to do for the rest of the night. 

All it takes is one glance down at his white cotton shorts, which have ridden up, and he sees bruises and hickeys all over his thighs and legs. 

Jeno’s rut had ended two days ago, but the evidence of the time they spent together is still visibly there. 

Because there’s nothing better to do, and because his mind won’t make a decision, Jaemin scoots back on his bed until his back is flush against the headboard. His legs are pulled up to his chest and fall open a bit, and it’s with a little bit of daze that his finger delicately pokes at a bruise. 

Jaemin winces just a little, and moves on until his finger pokes another bruise, followed by a hickey. 

He spends his time tracing the marks of faded blue and purple on his thighs, lightly applying pressure to certain areas to feel the soreness and ache that comes with them. 

He would’ve continued, it doesn’t look like there’s marks to run out of, but Jaemin’s door opening slowly distracts him. 

Blankly, Jaemin looks up to see who’s opening his door, but before he can put a face to the person, Jaemin catches a whiff of Jeno’s scent. 

It’s like a mutual agreement, how neither of them speak a word as Jeno closes the door behind him and steps in. 

Jeno dumps a bag onto the floor, and where Jaemin would already be asking ten questions about it, today he doesn’t even look at it. 

He just watches Jeno. 

He watches as Jeno shrugs off his denim jacket, until he’s just in sweatpants and a t-shirt. 

Jeno doesn’t sit too close to him, and not beside him

either, like usual. 

Today, Jeno sits down in front of him, on his haunches. Jaemin is a bit perplexed, and he lets it show on his face as his eyebrows scrunch together a little and how his head tilts to the side. 

But again, Jeno doesn’t say anything as he lays down on his stomach, gently placing his hands on Jaemin’s legs, which are still pulled up to his chest. 

Very carefully, Jeno lays Jaemin’s legs down flat on the bed, but keeps them open enough to slot himself between them. Jaemin doesn’t know what he’s doing, or what he’s going to do, but seeing Jeno in such a familiar position, regardless of the situation, makes his heart skip a beat. 

And then, before Jaemin can think of anything else, Jeno starts kissing his legs.

It doesn’t remind him of a few days ago, because these kisses are light and feathery against his skin. They’re a delicate press of Jeno’s pillowy lips, a soft spot of warmth that somehow manages to radiate through his entire body. 

“I was walking home from a late swim practice,” Jeno starts, but he doesn’t look up at Jaemin. In fact, his words come out a little muffled from where his mouth doesn’t stop pressing kisses to his skin. “And I picked up cupcakes.” 

Jaemin guesses that’s what’s in the bag Jeno had put down, but still can’t find words in his throat. 

Instead, he brings his hands down to Jeno’s hair, petting him almost as he plays with the strands. He hopes that this can convey his appreciation. 

“And then when I walked out of the store, I thought of you. Because you love cupcakes.” 

This time Jeno does look up at him, head laid down on his thigh as emotion practically oozes out of his eyes. 

So Jaemin manages to send him a small smile. 

Jeno shuffles up then, until he’s sitting with his legs crossed between Jaemin’s legs. He doesn’t say anything for a while, but then he brings one hand up to cup Jaemin’s face. His fingertips are soft, almost as if they melt against his skin. 

“I can always tell when my Jaemin is sad.” 

Jaemin knows that probably isn’t true, and that his cupcake story is more likely exaggerated. If anything, Donghyuck was the one who told Jeno about all of this. 

But still, all Jeno gets is a helpless huff or air from Jaemin, who seems triggered by the words as his hands scramble to pull Jeno in by the back of his neck.

And then they’re kissing, and Jaemin’s mouth is soft and slow against Jeno’s, despite how desperate and flimsy his hands were. 

It’s soft with the way Jaemin thumbs the base of his neck, soft with the way Jeno licks into his mouth, soft with the way their tongues dance together. 

“I love you,”

And Jaemin’s tears are equally as soft, where they spill from his doe eyes and slide down his cheeks until they meet Jeno’s skin. 

His nose stings, his eyes sting, and somewhere in there, his heart stings too.

Jeno pulls away when Jaemin’s lips start wobbling violently, and the second he does, a heart wrenching sob wracks its way out of his throat. 

“Nana…” 

And they’re all wails that follow, like a child who’s been separated from their mother.

The more Jeno thinks about it that way, the more it sounds like the truth. 

Jaemin doesn’t sound like how he usually does when he cries, because this time they’re all raw and unfiltered, coming from where he feels genuine pain and loneliness. 

Jeno pulls him into a hug, bodies pressed close until Jaemin is in his lap, curled up and shaking with the intensity of his sobs. 

“M-Mama said, s-she s-said—” 

But Jaemin can’t finish, cutting himself off with another brutal sob, something which even makes Jeno's eyes water. 

He’s holding onto Jeno like he’s afraid he’ll disappear into thin air, clutching the back of his shirt like a lifeline. 

“Shh, baby, take a breath,” Jeno tries to comfort, but he doesn’t know how effective it is when his own heart is breaking to pieces in his chest. 

Jeno never even knew someone could sound so pained without many words, but Jaemin sounds helpless and lost as he cries, like nothing in the world could make him forget what he’s feeling right now. 

“Omega,” he cries, muffled against Jeno’s clothes but still coherent enough for him to understand. “I don’t wanna b-be— Don’t w-wanna be an o-omega,” he wails, as if the mere idea brought him an onslaught of unimaginable pain. 

Jeno is reminded of a few months ago where Jaemin said the exact same thing, and all possible progress he thought Jaemin had made was thrown out the window. 

“Don’t say that,” Jeno says, biting back his own whimper when he pulls Jaemin’s face in front of him and sees the swollen eyes, red cheeks, and snotty nose. He uses the hem of his shirt to wipe Jaemin’s face, but everything keeps coming and coming; he doesn’t stop crying. “I told you not to say that, Jaemin you’re more than an omega.” 

Jeno isn’t surprised when he sees his vision blur and feels his own tears fall, but he doesn’t even care for them. Because all that matters is Jaemin’s losing his breath over crying himself to hysteria right in front of him. 

Jeno’s never heard him sound so hurt. 

Jaemin can’t manage to say any more words after that, so Jeno is left to watch as he cries himself to sleep in his arms. 

For once, Jeno cries with Jaemin. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin wakes up with a splitting headache, something which makes it hard to blink without the light sending a beat of pain all over his head. 

He also finds it hard to open his eyes, and hard to breathe. His nose is stuffy, no doubt from all the crying he did, and when he opens his mouth to yawn, it’s terribly dry and disgusting from having breathed through his mouth all night. 

Jaemin turns around hopelessly, lethargic and wanting to go back to sleep. He recognizes that there’s more empty space in the bed than he remembers, and it’s only when he spreads his legs out and realizes he’s hugging a pillow to his chest, that he realizes Jeno isn’t here with him. 

For some reason, a sense of panic fills Jaemin’s body as he looks around the room frantically, trying to find Jeno amidst everything else. 

When he can’t find him in his room, Jaemin’s breathing picks up and his fingers dig deeper into the pillow that’s still clutched to his chest. 

The smell around the room, the smell which isn’t his own, is only a vague hint of vodka and tree bark, letting Jaemin know that Jeno has been gone for a while, if his scent was able to air out.

“Jeno?” He calls out, despite not knowing if he’ll get an answer. He doesn’t even know if Jeno is still in the apartment, but it’s worth a shot since there isn’t a note left nearby, or a text message when he checks his phone.

Much to his surprise, but not anything bad, his bedroom door opens a few seconds after his call, and Jeno walks in with a plate in his hands and his backpack on his shoulders. 

“Good morning,” he greets, like he always does. The first thing Jeno will always say is ‘good morning’. “I didn’t know you’d be awake so early.”

“Where did you go?” Jaemin asks, watching as the older boy sets the plate down on the bedside table, and drops his bag down at the foot of the bed. 

He looks like he’s been out for a while too, which seems a bit odd since it’s only 7:30 in the morning. 

Jeno throws himself next to Jaemin before answering, head in his lap as he looks up at his boyfriend with what he hopes is a comforting smile. The last thing he needed to cause Jaemin was more stress. 

“I had swim practice,” Jeno says, and with how often Jeno’s gone for practice, Jaemin should know this by now. He’s a bit forgetful like that. “Competitions are next week.” 

“Oh,” Jaemin says, the mention of the competition reminding him that he has a reminder set on his phone for that day. 

Subconsciously, his hands have started to play with Jeno’s hair, still a little damp and now very obviously smelling like chlorine. Jaemin doesn’t know how he didn’t put two and two together before asking his question, but he guesses it has something to do with how his nose is blocked. 

He looks around the room a bit, not knowing what to say and acknowledging that the atmosphere is heavier than usual. 

“Did you make that?” Jaemin settles on asking, nudging his head in the direction of the plate Jeno had set down on the bedside table. 

There’s a piece of toast with scrambled eggs and sausages, and Jaemin finds his stomach rumbling without any further prompting. 

He guesses crying really did work up an appetite. 

“Yes I did, aren't you glad?” He teases, sitting up straight and reaching for the plate. “Donghyuck already told Renjun you won’t be at practice, and you don’t have to go to the rest of your classes if you don't want to,” he says, handing the breakfast over to Jaemin. 

The younger sighs as he bites into the toast, appreciative to finally get something in his system. He kind of regrets not brushing his teeth first though, but all motivation to get out of bed has been stripped from him the moment Jeno handed him the plate. 

“I’ve been missing a lot of practice,” Jaemin mumbles, eyebrows furrowing as the stress of the revelation dawns on him. “It’s not that big of a deal missing classes because Renjun and Donghyuck can give me notes, and everything is posted online. But if I get cut from soccer…” 

Jeno has a sympathetic look on his face the next time Jaemin looks at him, something which makes him sigh again. 

“Soccer is how I’m paying for school, and if it’s gone… Mom and Dad won’t like it even more since I’ll be out of a sport,” he rambles, mouth full of food. He’s grateful Jeno is listening, he’s always there to lend an ear whenever he needs one. “Because a-alphas do sports…” 

“Hey,” Jeno intervenes, patting Jaemin’s thigh and smiling at him gently when Jaemin looks up at him with a frown on his face. “Let’s talk about something else for now. Is your breakfast good?”

So Jeno steers their conversation in another direction, something which successfully keeps him distracted until he’s done eating. 

Thirty or so minutes later, there’s a knock on Jaemin’s door. Donghyuck is the only other person awake, and he thinks it’s weird that he’d knock. But then again, he’s probably weary because Jeno is here too. 

“Come in,” he says, watching as the doorknob turns and Donghyuck walks in.

He looks like he just rolled out of bed. Since it’s barely 8:00am, and Donghyuck doesn’t have a class until 11:00am, Jaemin wonders why he's awake. It’s not like Donghyuck is much of a morning person either. 

“How are you feeling?” He asks as he walks in, sitting down next to Jaemin. “You were very loud,” he grins lightheartedly, and since he’s Donghyuck, and since Donghyuck knows how to make him feel better, Jaemin smiles a little. 

“I think I’m okay now,” he answers softly, leaning into Donghyuck when the latter gives him a hug. “Thank you.”

“Me? I didn't do anything,” Donghyuck denies confusedly, leading Jaemin to roll his eyes. 

“You’re the one who called Jeno here last night. Thank you.” 

Donghyuck looks bashful now that Jaemin knows, but he takes Jaemin’s gratitude in stride. 

Jaemin busies himself by adjusting the blanket around him, so he doesn’t see the glance Donghyuck and Jeno throw at each other when he isn’t looking. 

“Hey um,” Donghyuck starts, gathering Jaemin’s attention back. “What’s up with your… Birth parents…?” 

Jaemin freezes for a moment, staring blankly at Donghyuck as he lets the sudden, out of blue question sink in. 

Donghyuck doesn’t ask about these things, partially because it was a sensitive topic, and partially because Jaemin had already explained that he was too young to remember much. 

Subconsciously, his gaze dances over to Jeno, who’s looking at him with wide eyes and an endearing look, as always. 

“I can leave,” Jeno says, already sitting up straighter. “Seriously, if you guys want privacy or something—” 

“Just stay,” Jaemin sighs, pulling him back down from where he was trying to get up. “My birth parents?” He repeats, looking at Donghyuck. “I don’t really know much? All I have from them is this bunny,” he explains, reaching over a bit of the bed and grabbing his stuffed bunny. 

It’s worn and has definitely seen better days, but Jaemin keeps it around because it’s adorable, and because it just reminds him that he could’ve had a different fate. 

“I don’t even remember when I got this,” he smiles sadly, stroking the floppy ears. “Maybe when I was four? My earliest memories start from then.” 

“Why don’t you look for them?” Jeno asks before he can stop himself. 

It’s a question that’s been on his mind for a while, but it’s something he didn’t have the confidence to ask before. But now, in a delicate and safe atmosphere, he guesses there’s no harm. 

“Um,” Jaemin sighs, blowing a raspberry as he thinks of a way to phrase this. There’s no easy way to say what he wants though, but he doesn’t want to twist his words either. 

He’s thought this way for a long time, and he doesn’t want Jeno or Donghyuck getting the wrong idea. That’d just make everything more complicated than they need to be, and Jaemin doesn’t need another mess in his already twisted life. 

“Because I don’t care?” He finally answers, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ve lived my life not knowing and I’d like to keep it that way. I’m sure they have their reasons but…” 

Jaemin trails off, not finishing his sentence with words, but instead a shrug. 

“Why?” He suddenly asks, looking at Donghyuck skeptically. “It’s not like I’m the only one. You and Ji don’t know your birth parents either.” 

“Yeah, but Ji and I got put up at birth,” he answers, like it’s nothing. Jaemin guesses he’s become a bit immune to the fact. “If I had the chance, I’d wanna know my parents. They can’t be worse than what we ended up with anyways.”

Donghyuck smiles at the end of his sentence, being humorous, but Jaemin can’t help but feel a little guilty. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, feeling like he isn’t using what little knowledge he has of his birth parents to his full abilities. “I just don’t—”

“I’m not blaming you,” Donghyuck cuts in, his smile now directed softly at him. “I wouldn’t blame you for something like this. It’s your decision,” he shrugs, patting Jaemin’s knee for comfort. “But now that we’re on the topic, I have to ask…” This time, Jaemin does see the subtle glance Donghyuck throws at Jeno. “Do you think that’s where your, um— your—”

“Problems?” Jaemin supplies gently, tilting his head to the side. It’s obvious that’s what Donghyuck wanted to say, just didn’t know how to. 

“It’s just that—” Jeno pipes up now, looking very serious and very genuine as he looks at Jaemin, something which lets him know that he’s coming from a place of love. “I was just thinking if this was the reason since… You told me you didn’t want to be alone. That’s something rational but you really,  _ really  _ hated the idea of it,” he explains. 

Jaemin doesn’t say anything right away, instead remembering when he had a breakdown in front of Jeno about being an omega, and the internalized fear he had of Jeno leaving him for that reason. 

He wonders if Jeno knows now that his guise of ‘not wanting to be alone’ was just his way of saying he didn’t want to lose anyone because he’s an omega. 

Jaemin understands where they’re coming from, somewhere from concern and love, and while he knows what he wants to say, the response that slips out of his mouth isn’t the one he wanted. 

“You guys think I have problems?” 

He can see the alarm flash before Donghyuck and Jeno’s eyes, but they should’ve expected this, realistically. They couldn’t bring up all of this heavy stuff without at least preparing for a negative reaction. 

“Well, we just wanted to know if that’d be something else to talk about in therapy—”

“ _ Therapy _ ?” 

Donghyuck looks regretful as he bites his tongue, mentally cursing himself for letting it slip. 

“You guys talked about  _ me  _ going to therapy,  _ without  _ asking?” Jaemin asks incredulously, looking between the two of them with disbelief all over his face. “You guys—” 

“We were just gonna bring it up as a suggestion,” Jeno insists, eyes almost pleading. “Of course we wouldn’t make you go, that’s up to you.”

Jaemin has a rebuttal on the tip of his tongue, but doesn’t get to use it as it seems like Donghyuck finally found something to say. 

“Listen,” he starts, looking at Jaemin pointedly when the younger raises an eyebrow at him. “We both love you a lot, you know that. So you know where we’re coming from when we say it’s just something we were thinking about, just a suggestion,” he explains, looking at Jaemin expectantly. 

Jaemin’s lips are pursed together, and it’s a telltale sign for Donghyuck and Jeno that he acknowledges their argument. 

“It’s just the way you cried last night…” Jeno brings up, squeezing Jaemin’s hand from where he found it under the blankets. “Jaemin, you shouldn’t feel that much pain. You shouldn’t  _ let  _ her be able to affect you that much.” 

“It’s not a choice,” Jaemin scowls, looking almost offended as he turns to Jeno. 

“I know,” he immediately soothes, running his thumb over Jaemin’s knuckles, something which calms the younger down. “I know baby, we were just talking about it and… Maybe it will help? It never hurts to try, right?” 

Jaemin stays silent as he looks between Donghyuck and Jeno, pursing his lips and finally letting out a sigh. 

They look too hopeful and anxious for Jaemin to not at least… Try.

“I’ll think about it.” 

  
  
  


He doesn’t end up taking too long to think about it, having come up with his conclusion in the middle of the day. 

He’s opted to stay home, and Donghyuck is out for classes, so he doubts he’ll get an answer soon when he texts Jeno his answer. He can always tell Donghyuck when he comes back home. 

**to:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_ medical statements get sent to my parents after a few months  _

**from:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_ charge them to me  _

**to:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_ you’re not paying for my therapy wtf _

_ and aren’t you in a class right now?  _

**from:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_ i’m walking to my next class  _

_ you can pay me back if you’d like  _

**to:** **_jen <3 🧅_ **

_ no😔 _

_ jeno…  _

_ i want to but i don’t want my mom to know _

_ how am i supposed to do this if she finds out  _

Jaemin doesn’t get an answer, instead his phone starts ringing with an incoming call from Jeno. 

“I’m being serious,” Jeno’s voice rings in, and Jaemin can vaguely hear all the bustling of life behind him. “I wouldn’t mind at all if you billed them to me.”

“But  _ I  _ would,” Jaemin argues, flopping back onto his back. The pillows cushion his head and the blanket bounces with the movement he makes, but it still doesn’t feel as comfortable. “I couldn’t do that.”

“Even if I asked you to?” Jeno tries, and can practically hear Jaemin’s eye roll. 

“Especially if you asked me to,” he grumbles, curling into the blankets he hasn’t left all day. Part of him thinks it’s gross and that he should shower soon, but another part of him can’t even fathom getting out of bed. 

“Baby, I’d love to help,” Jeno assures softly, so soft and gentle that it sounds like he’s right here beside Jaemin, and not talking to him through a phone speaker. “There’s no limits to what I’d be willing to do to help. I love you, you know that, don’t you?”

“Shut up,” Jaemin whines, burrowing his face in his pillow, glad that Jeno can’t see him. “You probably sound so disgusting to people who can hear you.” 

Jeno chuckles over the line, something light and velvety, something Jaemin wishes was here with him now, even if that means Jeno seeing his embarrassing reactions. 

“Will you come over after class?” He asks quietly, absentmindedly picking at some thread while he waits for an answer. 

“My baby’s so clingy, hm?” Jeno teases, and it makes Jaemin blush absolutely red. “Can’t stay away from me for too long?”

Well, when Jeno put it like that, it makes Jaemin second guess asking him in the first place. 

He didn’t want to be too overbearing for Jeno, that’d make him feel horrible. He hopes Jeno doesn’t feel suffocated with him, that'd be the last thing he wants. 

“You don’t have to,” he says quickly, now nervously picking the thread instead of being absent minded about it. “I-If you’re busy… Or if you’re tired of seeing me all the time,” he jokes, but he doubts it works. He’s pretty sure some of his insecurity has bleed through the words, and he wonders if Jeno heard. 

“That doesn’t make any sense Nana,” Jeno answers, and Jaemin can picture him looking down and kicking a rock as he walks to class. “I can never get tired of you.” 

Jaemin snorts, spirit lifted a little. Not a lot, but he’s not surprised Jeno managed to do something, the mere mention of his name can do wonders at times. 

“I’ll come over for a bit,” Jeno assures, and Jaemin vaguely hears that the whistling wind from the other end of the line comes to a stop. 

Jeno must be in the building his class is in. 

“But I can’t stay the night, I’m sorry.”

Jaemin can practically hear the frown he’s convinced Jeno is sporting, and it makes him smile a little. 

Every single one of his boyfriend’s mannerisms is adorable. 

“That’s okay,” he whispers, content as he lets his eyes fall closed, under the warm blankets. “We can make dinner together.” 

“Of course, that sounds lovely,” Jeno agrees. “I have to go now though. I’ll see you in a few hours, okay Nana?” 

Jaemin is drowsy as he answers, barely managing to keep his grip on his phone. 

“Okay Nono,” he mumbles, unsure of how much of that Jeno was able to hear. “Love you.” 

If Jaemin were with him, he’d be able to see the way Jeno smiles, endeared at the slur which mumbles Jaemin’s words. 

“I love you too. Sweet dreams.” 

  
  
  


Jaemin makes the mistake of not setting up an alarm before succumbing to his nap, and now it’s almost 4:00pm, and he still hasn’t managed to get out of bed. 

Which means he hasn’t been able to shower yet. 

Jaemin feels a surge of adrenaline coursing through him, scrambling out of the bed and miraculously managing to not trip and tangle himself within the sheets. 

He doesn’t know how long he has, all he knows is that Jeno’s last class ended at 3:30pm, so he didn’t have too much time. Jeno could be around the corner, if anything. 

He’s ashamed to admit it’s more of a rinse off than a shower that he takes, but when he steps out and into another set of pyjamas, there’s a knock on the door. 

Jaemin practically runs to the door, opening it up while trying to catch his breath. 

Very naturally, Jeno quirks up and eyebrow at his appearance as he makes his way inside. 

“Did you just take a shower?” He asks as he sees Jaemin’s wet hair, which is slowly but surely dampening the collar of his shirt since he didn’t place a towel around his neck to catch the droplets like he normally does. 

He was in too much of a rush for that. 

“Yeah,” Jaemin finally answers, locking the door behind Jeno and following him to the couch where he’s settled down. 

Jaemin takes a seat next to him, snuggling in close so that he could inhale lungfuls of Jeno’s scent. He’s almost completely curled around him, legs slotted together and arms around his waist with his head tucked under Jeno’s chin. 

What can he say? He’s a homebody, and Jeno is home. 

“How were classes?” Jaemin asks, flipping through television channels until they find something that peaks their interest. 

“They were alright. I watched a kid spill his smoothie over the professor’s shirt today,” he muses, proceeding to tell Jaemin a very animated story of a boy looking down at his phone while walking to class, and then bumping into a professor and ruining both their clothes. 

“He should be lucky he isn’t expelled,” the younger snorts, putting a halt to his channel surfing when Jeno tells him to stop in the station that’s playing reruns of a drama he likes. “And alive.”

“I know right,” Jeno mumbles, attention slowly but surely getting taken away by the dramatics taking place on the television screen. 

Jaemin lets him be, and lets himself be immersed into the plot as well as they spend the next hour or so in relative silence. 

It’s only when Jeno’s stomach makes a sound equivalent to a whale that Jaemin finally breaks the silence by laughing. 

He sits up straighter and looks at Jeno’s sheepishly face, and coos internally at how shy he looks. 

“Hungry?” Jaemin asks gently, to which Jeno nods. “Alright, come help me in the kitchen. We have to make an extra serving for Donghyuck.” 

Jaemin drags Jeno to the kitchen with him, taking out ingredients for a simple pasta. 

Jeno makes himself useful by starting a pot of water on the stove to boil, while Jaemin takes out other vegetables and sauces from the fridge. 

Just as he sets everything on the counter and turns around to ask Jeno if he can grab a bowl for all the soon to be cut vegetables, the older boy starts crowding his space. 

“What is it that you’d like?” Jaemin asks, arching up an eyebrow when Jeno pushes him back against the counter, until the edge is digging into the bottom of his spine. 

“Kiss,” he answers, puckering his lips cutely, in the way he knows Jaemin melts for. Today isn’t any different, with Jaemin’s face softening as he leans in to press a slow kiss to Jeno’s lips. 

“Happy?” Jaemin smiles when he pulls away, just a little confused when he sees a frown on Jeno’s face. 

“No,” comes the older boy’s quick answer. 

But before Jaemin can ask what he means, or maybe kiss him again, Jeno grabs him by the waist and kisses him himself, catching Jaemin so off guard he ends up grabbing the edge of the counter with his hand. 

Jaemin doesn’t know where this is coming from, but Jeno is always full of surprises. 

It’s not like he minds either, once he’s past the initial shock his arms come up to wrap around Jeno’s shoulders, keeping their bodies close as their mouths exchange soft kisses. 

Jaemin enjoys moments like this, little pockets of time with Jeno where they’re alone and able to just… Be together. 

Even if they were supposed to be making dinner and the pasta water was already boiling and starting to evaporate. 

They could always just refill the water. 

Jeno doesn’t stay kissing one place for long, Jaemin knows this, so it’s no surprise he breaks away just to trail kisses up his cheeks and across his nose, dotting back down to under his jaw and neck. 

“I talked to my mom today,” Jeno starts, mumbling his words into a mark that his tongue soothes over. 

“Now’s not the time to talk about your mom,” Jaemin gasps, fingernails digging into the fabric on Jeno’s t-shirt when the latter gets started on a new mark. 

His head falls to one side naturally for Jeno, who takes advantage of it and moves along there, littering kisses and tiny bites which leave Jaemin breathless. 

“I just don’t want you to hit me for what I say, so I’m kissing you boneless first,”

Jaemin’s brain clears up a little when he hears Jeno’s odd words, wondering just what it could be that he’s about to say. 

He wants to ask, but his mind fogs up again when Jeno starts sucking on a patch of skin near his scent glands. 

“She said she’d love if you billed to her,” 

It takes Jaemin a minute to understand what Jeno said, senses clearing up again and finally grasping what words he just spoke. 

And maybe Jeno was smart, rendering him the equivalent of jelly before telling him, because he can’t find the strength to smack his shoulder to reprimand him. 

“Jeno,” Jaemin says, shaking his head when the older boy finally brings his head up and looks at him. “Why did you even ask— I can’t do that,” he disagrees, face panicked when they make eye contact. 

“Yes you can,” Jeno assures softly, stroking Jaemin’s cheek with the back of his knuckles. He looks fond and adoring as he looks at the younger, smiling gently as he speaks. “Because you’re family. And Mom does everything for the family.” 

It takes Jaemin another few seconds to let Jeno’s words sink in, finding it sounds odd how he said that they’re a family so naturally. It’s like he was always supposed to be taken in, always supposed to find a home within the lovely people he’s got to meet. 

Family is important to Jaemin, he’s learned to keep those most precious to him safe and healthy. The only people he considers family like that are Donghyuck and Jisung, and while he knows they’d never want something bad to happen to him, hearing that he also has a family with Jeno’s makes things just a little unimaginable. 

Never once, does he remember having a concrete home. 

There are a lot of things Jaemin doesn’t remember having before Jeno, and he wonders if he could ever go back to the life he lived prior to Jeno. 

He hopes he never has to. 

“Is she really my family?” Jaemin asks in a whisper, despite himself. He doesn’t want to sound stupid, but Jeno’s words had sounded too good to be true. He’d rather know than later, if he was dreaming or not. “Do I have a mom?” 

Jeno smiles bright at the question, kissing him with passion before he answers. 

Jaemin feels it all the way from his lips to the tips of his fingers, and knows that there won’t ever be a love like this anywhere else in the world. 

“You’ll always have a family with us, Nana.” 


	5. chapter five

“Jisung-ah,” 

“ _ I mean it. And I’ll do it, you can’t stop me. _ ” 

“Of course I can’t stop you, but get a job? I’m telling you to think about this properly, you know you can’t rely on her for forever.” 

“ _ That lady loves me, she deposits a gross amount of money into my account every month. And I haven’t been using a penny! I’m set hyung, really. I’ll be like you and Hyuckie hyung… Free. _ ”

“Holy shit kid, you make things sound way more depressing than they are,” Jaemin jokes, hoping it’ll lighten the atmosphere. 

He’s wrong. 

“ _ It is depressing, hyung. I’m glad you can see that _ .”

Jaemin doesn’t say anything to Jisung’s words, focusing on which street to walk onto next so that he doesn’t have to think about it. 

“ _ Anyway, are you almost there? _ ” 

“Almost,” Jaemin sighs, looking around and reading building names. He never even knew there was such a lovely downtown area in the town he went to school in, but he guesses he’d never know unless he went outside. 

Jaemin is just used to slugging around anyway. 

“ _ Is Hyuck hyung with you? Or Jeno hyung? Maybe Renjun hyung? Mark hyung _ ?” Jisung asks, and Jaemin can distantly hear him clacking away at his gaming keyboard. 

“I came alone,” 

“ _ Why would you do that _ ?” Jisung splutters, and Jaemin also hears the keyboard clicking stop. “ _ What if— _ ”

“I’m not helpless,” Jaemin intervenes, to which he simply earns Jisung clicking his tongue across the line. He wonders when Jisung grew out being intimidated by his older brothers, but he doesn’t dwell on it. 

“ _ Obviously _ ,” comes Jisung’s dismissal. “ _ But it'd be nice to have someone, no _ ?” 

Jaemin can’t deny that having someone with him right now would be nice; maybe a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on, ears to listen. 

But he also knows that some things in life have to be tackled alone. 

“I won’t always have someone with me,” Jaemin sighs, spotting the building he’d been looking for since he stepped foot downtown. It’s a pretty modern looking building, tall with glass windows and all that. He has some high hopes, for what's to come. “Plus, this is something personal I shouldn’t have people with me for. Speaking of, you can’t rely on her for forever—”

“ _ Hyung _ ,” Jisung whines, clearly annoyed. “ _ What is happening is between me and her only. Even Donghyuck accepted that, why can’t you _ ?”

Jaemin knows very well why he can’t accept what Jisung was talking about, but he also knows very well that it wasn’t his choice. This was, like Jisung had said, something he wasn’t even involved in.

Technically though, he was, so was Donghyuck, but Jisung and Jeno’s mother had decided to keep it between them only. 

It still feels weird though, but it seems like Jaemin will just have to get used to it. 

It’s not like he’ll be able to change Jisung’s mind or anything anyway. 

“I’ll get there,” Jaemin ends up sighing, opening up the door to the building. He talks quieter as he walks down the hallway, reading the office numbers and name plaques as he tries to find the one he’s looking for. “Give me some time, it’s not everyday your brother moves in with your boyfriend’s family.” 

Jaemin hears Jisung snort when he finally finds the office he’s looking for. 

“I gotta go now Sung, but call me tonight so we can set up our new bank accounts, alright?” 

“ _ Yeah, alright hyung. Talk to you later! _ ”

“Bye, Jisungie.”

When Jaemin hangs up and Jisung’s deep voice is no longer present, he feels a wave of nerves wash over him. 

Meeting new people is always nerve wracking, and for Jaemin even more so when he’s about to meet his therapist. 

He knows that he realistically will eventually be open and comfortable around her (her name is Minji and her voice sounded really soothing on the phone), but for now, his fingers shake a little. 

He hopes he won’t give off a bad first impression, and he takes a deep breath before knocking on her office door. 

It doesn’t take more than three seconds for Jaemin to hear the telltale sound of heels clacking against the floor, and then the door opens to greet him with the sight of Minji. 

She has brown hair cut to her shoulders, and she’s only a bit shorter than Jaemin. Her wire framed glasses remind him of Jeno’s, and she looks comfy as she looks at him. 

“Na Jaemin?” She smiles sweetly, only smiling wider when he nods his head. “Come in.” 

As Jaemin steps foot into her office, he roams his eyes over everything, taking in the cream coloured walls, pale blue couch and little trinkets scattered all around. 

It doesn’t really look like an office, but that would just be something to make patients feel more comfortable And Jaemin admits, he does feel a bit comfortable. 

“Would you like to take a seat next to me?” She asks, motioning to a seat that wasn’t on the blue couch, but a yellow single seater closer to her desk. 

Jaemin prefers being within close proximity to whoever he’s speaking with, so he moves to sit down on the yellow single seater. 

Minji looks at him with the same smile she greeted him with, something that feels soft and natural. Her desk looks relatively clean too, just a computer and a couple loose papers littering the surface. 

From what Jaemin can see from just this, Minji seems like a really tidy person. 

“Hello, Jaemin,” Minji says, turning to face him completely. “Is there a name you prefer to be called by? Or is Jaemin okay?”

“Jaemin is alright,” he answers, thrumming his fingers on his thighs and looking along the walls when he doesn’t know what else to say. 

“Are you a little nervous?” She asks after a few seconds, and when Jaemin looks back at her, he sees Minji looking at the fingers dancing in his legs. 

He immediately stops. 

Minji keeps smiling. 

“It’s okay to be, but I hope we can be comfortable with each other,” 

Her voice is equally as soft and soothing in real life like it had been on the phone, and Jaemin wonders if she always sounds this calm and cotton-like. 

“I’d like to get to know a bit more about you, if you’d be okay with answering some questions,” Minji continues. Jaemin notices that her fingernails are painted pastel purple. “You have brothers, right?” 

Jaemin had to fill out a form about his contact information, personal information, and what  _ he  _ thinks is the cause of him going to therapy. The form didn’t ask for details, so Jaemin didn’t give any. 

Now though, it seems like he’ll have to elaborate a bit. Minji can’t know more about him based on the form alone. 

“Yes, their names are Donghyuck and Jisung,” he starts, liking the natural flow of conversation that comes with talking about something he’s comfortable with, his brothers. “Donghyuck is only two months older than me, and Jisung is two years younger than us.” 

“So Jisung is a secondary student?” 

“Yeah,” Jaemin nods. “He’s graduating this year. Donghyuck lives with me since we go to the same university.” 

“Interesting,” Minji comments, shifting around a bit until she was sitting cross legged in her desk chair. Jaemin wonders how that’s comfortable, but she seems to like it, so he doesn’t question it. “Is it nice living with your brother?” 

“Sometimes,” he answers truthfully, knowing there’d be no progress if he wasn’t going to be open. “Other times I want to hit him with a frying pan, but I don’t like violence.”

Minji laughs a little at his answer, and it makes Jaemin relax a bit more. She seems to have the same humour as him. 

“You mentioned a boyfriend on your form. Could you tell me about him?” She continues, and Jaemin thinks she definitely caught the way he brightened up at the mention of his boyfriend. 

“His name is Lee Jeno,” he starts, a smile immediately crawling into his face at the mere mention of Jeno’s name. Like always. “He’s on the university swim team.”

“And you play soccer, right?”

“Yeah, sometimes our practices overlap so we share a locker room,”

He doesn’t realize how misleading that phrase sounds till after he’s said it, and it’s with wide eyes that he looks at Minji. 

“Not like that!” He denies, feeling his face flush. “It’s just— Sometimes we— Y’know, more time together,” he explains poorly, but Minji doesn’t seem to pay mind to his efforts, simply fixing him with a knowing look. 

“Of course,” she teases, and Jaemin wishes he could redo this conversation. “Is that how you two met? Through the locker room rendezvous?” 

Jaemin winces at the wording, but decides to brush past it. 

“No, we met at his job. He was waiting for my table and gave me his number,” he recounts fondly, always rendered endeared whenever he remembers what Jeno did. “And then things just… Happened.” 

When Jaemin looks up at Minji, she’s smiling the same way Jaemin does when he talks about these things. It almost feels like she’s sharing the content he feels with him. 

“Hm, that’s cute,” she hums, and then takes a glance to her computer screen. Jaemin can’t see it from where he’s sitting, but he can only assume it’s the form he had to fill out. “How about family? Do you miss living with your parents?” 

Jaemin remembers that he wrote that his parents, specifically his mother, was the reason why he even looked into therapy under the section where it asked him why. 

He knows this is a question she has to ask, but it does dim down the friendly atmosphere that was between them earlier. 

“I don’t miss them,” he says softly, and he admits, it feels nice to say. 

It’s always been something unspoken between him and Donghyuck, and something Jeno and Jisung have picked up on without Jaemin having to actually say it. So telling Minji, saying it out loud, brings a different kind of relief. 

“Is it because you feel more independent?”

It’s a generic question to ask, that’s what a lot of kids feel when they first move out of their parent’s house. 

And Jaemin guesses that he does feel independent in a way, that he did feel the feeling of freedom when he spent his first night alone, away from his parents. 

But it’s for a different reason. 

Jaemin felt independent because he didn’t have to have them breathing down his neck every second, didn’t have to put up a front for them to be proud of him. 

He didn’t have to meet a standard anymore. 

Not really, at least. 

“I do,” he says softly, a small smile quirking onto his lips. “It felt nice, making my own decisions.” Because even if his scholarship was based on him playing soccer, and even if taking pills had been integrated into his routine for the next year or so, it did feel nice to not have to ask for permission anymore. 

It finally started to feel like he was his own person. 

“Your medical records,” Minji brings up, still looking at him with a comfortable gaze in her eyes. It makes him feel more relaxed. “I’ve had a look at them. Would you like to talk about it today? If not, we can discuss that another time.”

Minji gives him choices, Minji is patient, and Minji is soft spoken. 

She reminds him a lot of Renjun and Jeno. 

Minji reminds him of his friends. 

And it’s because of that, and maybe because she offers him a bowl of snacks, that he tells Minji a story. 

Starting all the way back to when he first presented. 

  
  
  


It’s a weird feeling, leaving Minji’s office with another appointment scheduled. It feels like leaving a friend’s house, except once he steps out of her office and sees hallways and a bustling building, he’s reminded this is anything but a friend’s house. 

It’s a medical office, and he just had his first therapy session. 

Jaemin feels better than he would’ve thought. 

His shoulders don’t hunch, his heart feels just a bit lighter and his steps flow easier. 

It’s like a tiny bit of the weight on his back has been shaved off, like the lead running through his veins has been thinned. 

Jaemin feels like it’s easier to breathe, after getting some things off of his chest. No matter how odd it was to him that he opened up to Minji so quickly (Jaemin just thinks that’s what makes her good at her job), he appreciates the simple chemistry between them. 

Lord knows it would’ve been terrible if he didn’t get along well with his therapist. 

Jaemin expected a call from one of the five people who knew about his appointment, but he didn’t think his phone would be ringing the second he stepped out of the building. 

“Hello?”

“ _ It’s dark out right now. Look for my car. I have Japanese takeout _ .” 

Jaemin is completely convinced once he hears the words ‘Japanese takeout’ slip through the phone speaker, and he’s quickly looking around for Jeno’s car when he hangs up. 

He finds the vehicle rather quickly, slipping towards the passenger’s seat and smiling instantly at the smell of food that hits him immediately. 

“You’re so perfect,” Jaemin grins, sliding into his seat as he watches Jeno slurp on some noodles. “Have I told you that I love you today?” 

“I’d be quite upset if it was 10:00pm and you haven’t told me you loved me yet,” Jeno hums, handing Jaemin his own container. 

Jeno’s seat belt is off and the car is parked, so it doesn’t look like they’re gonna be leaving any time soon. Jaemin doesn’t mind though, with the soft music playing and the low glow of the light, it’s kind of like a date. 

“Thanks for this,” Jaemin says before digging in, appreciative of the food, since it’s been a while since he’s had his last meal. “But why’d you come here anyways?”

“Just to see you,” Jeno answers easily. “Congratulations on your first therapy session. How’d it go babe?” 

“We gossiped a lot about you,” Jaemin hums, not necessarily lying. He did end up talking a lot about Jeno when he was explaining his whole… Situation. 

But Jeno didn’t need to know they were all good things, they’d only get to his head. 

One day, he’ll let Jeno know how grateful he is. 

Maybe when he becomes better with his words. 

“Of course you did,” Jeno sulks, pouting lowly and looking like the cutest boy to Jaemin. He sniffs for dramatic effect as he finishes his food, turning to look at Jaemin with big eyes. “You hate me.”

All Jaemin does is hum, barely looking at Jeno as he continues to eat. 

“Took you long enough,” he says around a mouthful, hearing more than seeing Jeno scoff. “We talked about Donghyuck and Jisung too. She’s really nice,” he adds on softly, this time looking at Jeno and seeing him already looking at him and smiling. 

“That’s good. I’m glad,” he grins, one of his hands coming up to stroke the back of his head. Unable to resist him, Jeno pulls the younger’s head closer and pecks his lips gently. “I’m happy.” 

“You’re happy because I’m happy?” Jaemin questions, tilting his head to one side confusedly. 

Jeno only does the same thing. 

“You’re happy?” He asks. 

It makes Jaemin think a little, but he doesn’t dwell on it. 

He knows the bright feeling inside of him, the light feeling on his shoulders, the bubbly feeling in his mind. He doesn’t need to think much about it, because there isn’t anything to doubt anymore. 

Is he happy?

“I am. I’m very happy.” 

And like always, Jeno smiles. 

He smiles, the smile which shatters Jaemin’s heart to pieces because he looks like an innocent boy. 

Someone who loves with his whole heart. 

Someone Jaemin will forever be grateful for. 

“Then I’m happy too.”

Someone who’s happy because he is. 

  
  
  


**to:** **_kang minji🗒_ **

_ noona😳 _

**from:** **_kang minji🗒_ **

_ Yes? _

**to:** **_kang minji🗒_ **

_ jeno took me on a date today🥺 _

**from:** **_kang minji🗒_ **

_ Did you have fun? _

**to:** **_kang minji🗒_ **

_ yes!!  _

_ and when i came home, donghyuck was waiting with dinner and a movie  _

**from:** **_kang minji🗒_ **

_ So today was a pink day, Jaemin-ah?  _

**to:** **_kang minji🗒_ **

_ yeah…  _

_ very pink💓 _

**from:** **_kang minji🗒_ **

_ That’s good Jaemin, I’m happy for you  _

_ Let me know more about your days, okay?  _

_ I hope you have more pink days ahead of you  _

**to:** **_kang minji🗒_ **

_ thank you noona…  _

_ i hope so too :)  _

Jaemin learns ever quickly that his mood affects everyone around him. 

He always knew that the energy and the mood of the people around him affected him, and whenever he was upset or sad the general atmosphere got greyer. But for some reason, despite knowing all this, Jaemin didn’t think his happiness would start affecting everyone around him too. 

He already knew Jeno valued Jaemin’s happiness the same way he values his own, and that a happy Jaemin means Jeno is equally as happy. 

But he didn’t know it meant livelier soccer practices with Renjun and Yukhei. 

He didn’t know it meant longer and more enthusiastic phone and facetime calls with Jisung. 

He didn’t know it meant a brighter atmosphere and apartment when he was home with Donghyuck. 

They all sound so obvious, they all sound so minimal. 

But to Jaemin, it’s like his life has done a complete one hundred and eighty degree flip. 

He didn’t know he could be this happy, waking up in the morning and actually getting out of bed with zero to no motivation. 

There’s a skip in his steps, everyone has commented on it, when he walks to class. 

Renjun tells him he’s excelling in soccer despite missing quite a bit. 

Donghyuck tells him his cooking tastes better. 

Jisung tells him their bank accounts are set up. 

Jaemin is on such a high, it doesn’t feel like anything could ever bring him down. He doesn’t think there’s something capable of stripping the sunshine out from under his feet, and he hopes it stays that way. 

For the first time in a very long time, Jaemin is happy to be where he is. 

And he promised Minji, but more importantly, he promised himself, that nothing will take that happiness away from him. 

So he truly doesn’t think anyone can take his happiness away, he knows he’s really made an improvement, he’s proud of himself for coming this far, when his heat hits. 

He expected the dread, the ten kilograms of stress and loathfulness that would pile on his back. The intense need to disappear, and then the inevitable and soul crashing fact that he  _ can’t.  _

But today, there’s none of that. 

Sure, the dread piles a little high in his throat, when he realizes there’s no wet spot underneath him on the bed. And he feels a bit self conscious about his scent that is no doubt stinking up his room and probably the apartment, but that’s expected. It’s only been three months since he’s started seeing Minji. 

But those thoughts aren’t on the forefront of his mind. 

This evening, when the sun has set and Donghyuck has let him know he’s at Mark’s place, when the heat burns through his body and his sweat mattes his hair to his forehead, there’s only one thought in his mind. 

Jeno.

He wants Jeno. 

He  _ needs _ Jeno. 

But Jeno’s at home, so the only thing he can do is grab his phone. He pulls up Jeno’s contact, and despite the insatiable fire inside of him, his thumbs hovers over the call button. 

He has a different idea. 

Jaemin decides to pull up their text conversation, ignoring their previous messages and opening up the camera. 

It wasn’t his fault Jeno wasn’t here with him right now. In Jaemin’s hormone induced brain, if Jeno wanted to prioritize his stupid chemistry report over him, he’d make him regret it. 

So riding his shorts up until they barely cover his ass, pulling his shirt up until his stomach is exposed, and laying on his side is exactly how he’s going to do it. 

  
  
  


**from:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ [1 ATTACHMENT] _

**to:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ … what are you doing  _

**from:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ nothing🙃 _

_ why?  _

_ you don’t like it?  _

**to:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ i didn’t say that  _

**from:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ good  _

_ [1 ATTACHMENT]  _

Jeno has to hold his breath as he clicks on the photo Jaemin sends, not knowing what to expect but also having a slight idea. 

When the photo takes up his whole phone screen, Jeno sees Jaemin now with his shirt off, still laying down with his own hand around the base of his neck. From what he can see, Jaemin’s head is tilted back. 

**to:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ you look so beautiful  _

_ are you having fun? _

**from:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ i’d be having more fun if you were here >:(  _

_ i want you  _

_ [1 ATTACHMENT] _

Jeno is less apprehensive when he opens this photo, the picture blowing up until he sees two of Jaemin’s fingers in his mouth, lips plump and covered in a sheen of saliva. There’s a little bit escaping from the corner of his lips, coloured red from probably biting them too much. 

**to:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ you seem to be doing just fine without me, fucking your own mouth _

_ do you like gagging on your fingers?  _

**from:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ fuck jeno  _

_ please  _

**to:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ what do you want, hm _

**from:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ anything please  _

Jaemin sounds desperate, that much is evident, so Jeno decides to relent like he always does.

He pushes his laptop away along with his notebook, deciding he could deal with those later. 

For now, he looks down and sees his dick half hard in his pants, courtesy of Jaemin’s tasteful photos. He grabs himself through his pants, snapping a simple photo and sending it back to Jaemin without much thought. 

**to:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ [1 ATTACHMENT] _

_ look at what you’ve done baby  _

**from:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ jeno  _

_ alpha please i want you so bad  _

_ fuck please please  _

_ [2 ATTACHMENTS] _

These photos are different, because the first one shows Jaemin completely naked, cock hard and leaking against his stomach. The second one is a full picture of just his ass, his own fingers digging into the flesh and spreading himself open a little. 

**to:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ jesus you’re so gorgeous sweetheart  _

**from:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ come fuck me if you think i’m so pretty  _

**to:** **_nanamin🍑🌹_ **

_ that’s all you want isn't it  _

_ just to be fucked stupid  _

_ maybe i’ll pull your hair since you like it so much  _

_ do you want that, nana?  _

Jeno expected a few more messages, maybe a few more pictures. But what he doesn’t expect is his phone lighting up with an incoming call from Jaemin. 

He’s a little tentative when he picks up the call, not knowing what he’ll be hearing, but he’s definitely surprised when the line finally connects. 

“ _ You’re just a dumb alpha _ ,” Jaemin pants, heavy and breathless right in Jeno’s ear. It should insult him, but it doesn’t. It arouses him more than it should, because if he can’t see Jaemin, the second best is hearing Jaemin. “ _ Have you even checked the date _ ?” 

At this question, Jeno steals a quick glance to the calendar on his desk, eyebrows furrowing when nothing clicks. 

“Um…” He starts, not knowing what to say, especially when Jaemin whines at the lack of an answer. So, he decides to move on and talk about something he does know. And probably something that’s more of a pressing matter. “Are you touching yourself?” 

“ _ Of course I’m touching myself _ ,” Jaemin answers, like it was the most obvious thing. “ _ I have to because my fucking alpha forgot that my heat was supposed to hit now _ .” 

At the mention, today’s date suddenly makes sense to Jeno. 

It’s been this time each month, where Jaemin’s heat would start. He’d always experience them similar to the first heat he had off of his pills, tired, achy, feverish and miserable, but they’ve been decreasing in severity lately. 

It should’ve been a sign to Jeno that Jaemin’s heat was starting to regulate, and that in no time, he’d experience his first,  _ real _ , full fledged heat. 

But of course he wasn’t there for it. 

Leave it to Jeno to be able to mess things up to this degree. 

“Shit,” he curses, dumping everything else that was on his bed onto the floor so that he could look for his keys and wallet. “I’ll be there, so soon, I’m so sorry oh my God.” 

Just as he’s about to grab his wallet, Jaemin speaks up. 

“ _ Don’t _ ,” he insists, making Jeno freeze. “ _ I can’t— Just finish here  _ please _ , and then you can come over _ .” 

Jaemin must feel restless and very, well,  _ horny _ , which is enough to convince Jeno to put his things back down. The least Jeno could do now is help him get off. 

He’s read enough about all of this in school and class to know that the presence of an alpha would help the most, but since he’s not there, all he does is suggest the next best thing there is. 

“Are some of my shirts near you?” He asks, and briefly hears shuffling on the other side of the line before he hears Jaemin inhale deeply, and his question is answered without any words. “Get a few of those, yeah?” 

“Facetime,” Jaemin says, and Jeno doesn’t even get to reply before the call ends. It doesn’t even take a long time for his phone to light up again with an incoming facetime call. 

Jeno answers right away, but he kind of wishes he gave himself some time because now he’s staring at Jaemin, who’s hair is a mess, skin is sweaty, and his hand is moving rapidly up and down his cock. 

“Oh my God,” Jeno gulps, subconsciously gripping his phone harder in his hand, feeling his own cock harden in his pants. “Fuck baby, you’re a dream.” 

“ _ Shut up _ ,” Jaemin groans, throwing his head back just so that he wouldn’t have to look at Jeno. “ _ I want you  _ here _ , you’re so stupid for forgetting _ ,” he whines, but Jeno knows he doesn’t mean it. He’s just a bit… Hazed, if that makes sense. 

“I’m coming, I promise. Let’s just take care of you first, okay?” Jeno doesn’t get anything except for a nod from Jaemin, whose hand has slowed down a bit. “Nana, what do you want, hm? If I was with you, what would you want?” 

“ _ Fuck me _ ,” he says breathlessly, and Jeno watches as his eyebrows furrow and his hand squeezes around the base of his cock. “ _ Please, I want my alpha _ .” 

Jeno’s own cock twitches in interest at Jaemin’s words, but he keeps his mind off of himself. Right now, he’s interested in what Jaemin had just said. 

“Your alpha?” He repeats, unable to hide the way he growls a little. He doesn’t know what Jaemin’s words provoked in him, but his fingers twitch with the need to hold him, and he practically salivates when he realizes that Jaemin’s entire apartment probably reeks of his irresistible peachy scent. 

“ _ Well aren’t you _ ?” Jaemin snaps back, and Jeno makes a mental note that he’s snarkier during heat. “ _ My alpha, my knot _ .” 

Jeno really does growl then, watching with hungry eyes as Jaemin burrows his head in two of Jeno’s t-shirts, probably inhaling the scent. Jeno’s even more sure of this when Jaemin moans higher, more needy and desperate. 

“You’re gonna take my knot so well,” he coos, watching the way Jaemin keens. “Just a little omega ready for my knot, want me to fill you up baby?” 

Jaemin sobs when he thumbs under the head of his cock, when Jeno’s words fully sink in. 

The way Jeno sounds, the way Jeno smells, the way Jeno feels, the way he fucks—

Jaemin wants it all here. Right now, next to him. 

Jaemin wants his alpha. 

“ _ C-Close _ ,” he cries, thighs shaking a little as he approaches his orgasm. The heat hasn’t subsided, still ridiculously hot and practically unbearable as he jerks off, and thinking of Jeno only makes him hotter. 

Looking at Jeno makes him hotter. 

“Come on Nana, come like a good omega, I don’t wanna give my knot to someone unworthy.”

That seems to do it for Jaemin, the younger coming all over his hand, thighs shaking, nerve endings vibrating and whimpers escaping past his lips. 

“Easy there angel,” Jeno coos, now suddenly sounding all soft and gentle, the way that has Jaemin melting and yearning for him even more. 

“ _ Quickly _ ,” he says breathlessly, wrapping himself up in the blanket and pulling his phone closer to his face. He knows that he’ll be satiated for a bit after his orgasm, but not too long since he hasn’t been with an alpha. “ _ Alpha— Jeno please _ .”

Jaemin looks cuter when all Jeno can see is his face, cheeks flushed pink and hair ruffled messily. But Jeno knows what they just did was everything except cute. 

“Yeah, okay my love. Do you wanna stay on call?” 

“ _ Yes please _ ,” Jaemin whispers, shuffling around a little until he’s more comfortable. “ _ I love you _ .” 

Jeno’s a little taken aback, he didn’t think he’d get that in a situation like this, with no context, but it’s always welcome. 

So it’s with a smile on his face, a foot out the door, a bulge in his pants and his phone in his hand as he says,

“I love you too.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Lee Jeno, why do you think I can’t see you? Just because this passes with Jaemin doesn’t mean it makes any sense!” 

This is one of those rare moments where Jeno wishes Jaemin would just agree and do what he asked, because if Jaemin did then he wouldn’t be in this predicament. 

He knew how risky it was eating Donghyuck’s breakfast cereal, but he’s been craving it and it’s  _ right there  _ in the damn cabinet, Donghyuck was just being difficult. 

“Dude come on!” Jeno groans defeatedly, shutting the cabinet with a bit more aggression than necessary. “You were asleep like, three minutes ago!” 

“That was three minutes ago,” Donghyuck deadpans, walking into the kitchen to stand guard in front of the cereal cabinet. “Did you know that there are five other boxes of cereal here? Because Jaemin insists on keeping Jisung’s shitty cereal stocked and because he switches between two that he really likes? Knock yourself out, man.” 

Donghyuck doesn’t look like he’s going to get out of the kitchen until Jeno grabs something which  _ isn't  _ his cereal, and it makes Jeno want to trip him in the back of his mind. 

On the outside though, he settles for a banana and a bottle of orange juice. 

“Oh, now, was that so hard?” Donghyuck taunts, and Jeno has half the mind to put him in a chokehold. He decides not to though, because Donghyuck is more than his boyfriend’s brother, he’s also his brother’s boyfriend. 

With that thought, he remembers their plans for tonight. 

It’s a Friday, and Jaemin had made sure to check in with everyone to make sure they didn’t have any plans for the weekend. 

That was Jaemin’s job, and Jeno’s is to do a check-in with everyone. Which Jeno finds ridiculous, because text messages and phone calls exist for a reason, but there’s a million things he’d rather do before upsetting Jaemin. 

“You remember where we’re going today, right?” 

All he gets is a scoff from Donghyuck, and Jeno seriously wonders how he never noticed these little things about him before. 

“How could I forget. I love being in a car where you’re the one driving,” he says sarcastically, earning a scowl from Jeno. 

“You know what?” Jeno starts, taking an aggressive bite of his banana. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you didn’t like me very much.” 

“What’s stopping you from thinking that?” Donghyuck asks, and as Jeno watches him pour his cereal into a bowl, Jeno knows it’s just to spite him. 

“I miss when you were nice to me,” Jeno sulks, grumbling into his banana as Donghyuck takes a seat in front of him. 

He eats his breakfast like a starved man, but that’s expected by this point. Jeno has seen Donghyuck eat on more than one occasion. 

“It just means you’re a part of the family,” Donghyuck scoffs, talking around a mouthful. Jeno used to find it disgusting, but he honestly doesn’t care anymore. Either that, or he’s used to it. “Don’t make it seem like such a bad thing.”

Jeno doesn’t say anything for a few minutes after that, finishing his banana and drinking his juice while Donghyuck is finishing his cereal and milk. 

Donghyuck burps loudly when he’s done, and Jeno really does think he’s made it into the family if Donghyuck has no reservations around him. 

“Anyway,” Donghyuck starts, pushing his bowl away as he leans on his elbows on the table. “When are we getting back?” 

“Why is it up to me?” Jeno asks, capping the bottle of orange juice. “Ask Mark. Or Mom. Or you suggest something.”

“Jeno,” the other sighs, pinching his eyebrows together. “I think you know better than anyone that Jaemin is the one you want to please. So what did  _ he  _ say?” 

Donghyuck makes it sound like Jaemin doesn’t give him a choice, and despite that being the farthest from the truth, it is something funny to joke about. 

“He was talking to Mom,” Jeno sighs. “And she said she wants us to stay a night.” 

“Then we’ll stay the night,” Donghyuck says, like it’s the most obvious thing ever. Jeno guesses it kind of is, but Donghyuck makes him feel stupid about it. But it’s fine, he knows that’s just how Donghyuck is. “Do you live like this, Jeno? Making everyone around you happy?” 

The way Donghyuck says is, it sounds like a genuine question. He isn’t teasing, it doesn’t sound like he’s making fun of Jeno. 

Instead, he has an eyebrow quirked and it sounds like he’s asking solely because he’s curious. 

But that doesn’t mean Jeno knows how to respond. 

“I mean… Why not?” He chuckles, watching confusedly as Donghyuck gets up from the table. “There’s no use in upsetting anyone.” 

“Hm,” Donghyuck hums, as if considering him. His back is turned to Jeno, so he can’t see the younger’s expressions. What he can see, though, is Donghyuck grabbing another bowl from the cabinet. 

Jeno is still just watching, watching as Donghyuck sets the empty bowl in front of him. 

“You’re like Na Jaemin, in that way,” Donghyuck continues, proceeding to grab a spoon and putting it in the bowl. “Nana likes to make everyone happy. Even if it’s at his own expense.” 

Jeno doesn’t necessarily know why Donghyuck is telling him these things, especially when he wasn’t clueless towards the facts. 

He knows, always has known, that Jaemin is a people pleaser. He likes to see the people around him smile, and make people laugh, make their days brighter, all of that. He’s been working on it, but as of now, it’s relatively the same. 

Either way, he’s known about these traits, so he doesn’t quite get where Donghyuck is going with this. 

“He’s been getting better at that,” Jeno settles on saying, eyes still on Donghyuck as the latter opens a different cabinet. “Jaemin… Jaemin’s trying.” 

“Of course he’s trying,” Donghyuck sighs, turning back around to where Jeno can see him properly. He walks over to where Jeno is still sitting down, and pours cereal into his bowl. “What else do you expect from him?” 

Donghyuck makes Jeno snort with that, and he truly does think about. 

What else did he expect from Jaemin? 

When is Jaemin  _ not  _ trying? 

Whatever he does, he always puts in one hundred and ten percent. It’s something he’s always admired. 

Jeno is startled out of his thoughts when he hears Donghyuck pouring milk into his bowl. 

“I took the long way around to get to this point, but Jeno,” he sighs, putting the milk down and looking at the other right in the eyes. “I don’t need you to please me. Think of me like someone you can get mad at. I won’t like… Kill you, or something,” he snorts, twisting the cap back onto the milk and putting the spoon into Jeno’s hands. “So next time, just eat my damn cereal. I don’t care.” 

Jeno doesn’t get to fully process the kindness behind Donghyuck’s gesture and words before a new voice cuts into their conversation, resulting in the both of them turning their heads to the source. 

“From this angle, you two look awfully misleading,” Jaemin pouts, shuffling into the kitchen with his messy bed hair, rumpled t-shirt, and grey slippers. 

He passes Donghyuck without sparing him more than a glance, shuffling towards Jeno and sitting in his lap. 

“Good morning, Hyuck,” he mumbles, turning his head to lean onto Jeno’s shoulder. “Good morning, honey.”

Almost like an instinct, one of Jeno’s hands finds itself on the younger back, rubbing small circles there with his palm. 

“Good morning, Nana,” Jeno hums, leaning over a little to eat his cereal before it gets soggy. “How’d you sleep?” 

When Jeno looks up, he sees that Donghyuck has already disappeared from the kitchen, and it makes Jeno remind himself to thank him properly later. 

“It was fine,” Jaemin answers, still slumped over. Jeno thinks he’s going to stay that way, and wonders if Jaemin will go back to sleep after a while. “How was your sleep?” 

“I breathed in peaches and Rosé all night,” Jeno says, as if that much was an answer in itself. And Jaemin understands, so maybe it is. “So it was wonderful.” 

“Sap,” Jaemin mumbles, feeling the way Jeno’s chest rumbles with a laugh. “Do you have to go to your dorm to pack?” 

“I do,” Jeno sighs with affirmation, nudging Jaemin slightly so that he could sit up straighter. He’s almost done his cereal, and he needed to drink the milk. “So I’ll probably pick up Mark before I get to you two. Is that okay?” 

Jaemin shifts until he’s sitting with his back to Jeno’s chest, uncapping the half empty bottle of orange juice and taking a sip for himself. 

“Why are you asking me?” Jaemin mutters. “Whatever's convenient for you.”

Jeno is briefly reminded of everything Donghyuck said not too long ago as he brings the bowl up to his lips, even more so when Jaemin starts playing with his hair gently. 

“You should go blonde,” he murmurs, and Jeno barely hears it over the sound of him putting the bowl back down. 

“My hair has been healthy all my life,” Jeno pouts, looking up at Jaemin. “Don’t you like how soft and silky it is?” 

“Don’t tell me,” Jaemin starts, scratching his nails over his scalp, admiring the way the fringe falls back into place. Jaemin leans in closer to his ear, and Jeno feels his warm breath tickle his skin as he whispers, “You're a virgin?” 

“A v-virgin— What?” Jeno splutters, leaning back so that he can see Jaemin’s full laughing face completely. “Is that a thing? Hair dyeing virgin?” 

“You have virgin hair, babe,” Jaemin explains, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “It means you’ve never done anything to it. No colour, no bleach.” 

“I’ll do it if you do it with me,” Jeno reasons, or maybe it’s just to appease Jaemin for now. He’s not too sure, but he doesn’t deny that seeing Jaemin with a pretty head of blonde would be a sore sight. He’d look rather charming, if Jeno’s being honest. 

“Why? You’re tired of the pink?” Jaemin teases, manœuvering until he’s eye to eye with Jeno. “I dye my hair when Donghyuck does, usually.” 

“Well, Donghyuck’s hair has been brown for a while now,” Jeno negotiates. “C’mon, you’d look so good.” 

“Would I?” Jaemin questions, tilting his head to the side. He’s lost interest in playing with Jeno’s hair, now simply tracing his eyes over every feature. “So would you.”

“Then together,” Jeno grins, leaning up slightly to press a small peck on Jaemin’s lips. “Wouldn’t that be cute?” 

“That’d be awful,” Jaemin chuckles, and Jeno can tell he's joking by how bright and wide his smile is. “Renjun wouldn’t let me hear the end of it.” 

“Who cares about what Renjun thinks?” Jeno scoffs, hugging Jaemin tight. “He still can’t figure out a way to tell Yukhei he likes him.” 

“Jeno! Don’t be mean!” 

  
  
  


Jeno stays true to his words, texting him when they’re leaving Mark’s place and telling him he’d only be five to seven minutes until he reaches him and Donghyuck. 

Packing was a relatively easy affair, it was one night, but Donghyuck seems to be having a breakdown over what to bring and what not to bring. 

Jaemin doesn’t understand it, but he indulges his brother nonetheless. 

“Mark has seen you eat, Donghyuck, I’m positive he doesn’t really care for what pyjamas you wear to sleep.”

“You don’t know that!” Donghyuck berates, gnawing on his bottom lip as he continues to contemplate whether or not to switch his pyjamas. 

Jaemin sets him with a look. 

“But  _ you  _ know that,” 

Donghyuck doesn’t have a retaliation for that, he does very much well know that, but he wouldn’t tell Jaemin that. 

“Why are you even worried? You’re acting like a virgin,” Jaemin snorts, but all that earns him is a deadly glare from Donghyuck. 

“It’s scary! Impressing his parents, not making a fool of myself,” he complains, flailing his arms helplessly. 

Jaemin knows there’s a running joke about how Donghyuck is sometimes just as clumsy as Mark, but he didn’t think of it as a bad thing. He didn’t know it worried Donghyuck this much. 

“But you’ve met them before,” Jaemin consoles, patting Donghyuck’s arm. “They love you, you love them.” 

“It’s just… Different. This has never happened before.” 

Jaemin’s eyebrows furrow a little as he tries to comprehend Donghyuck, but he’s at a loss each time. 

“You’ve dated before,” he notes. “I don’t get it.” 

He admits that him being this clueless probably doesn’t help Donghyuck with anything, but he wants to help so he has to ask these stupid questions. 

“I’ve never dated… An alpha,” he admits quietly. He looks off to the side as he continues, almost like he couldn’t look Jaemin in the eyes. “I never dated someone I didn’t need to bring home.” 

Jaemin understands what Donghyuck is trying to say now. 

And it hurts him. Probably the same way his honesty and feelings had hurt Donghyuck. 

To a minimum degree, to a maximum degree, to any degree in between, Jaemin, Donghyuck, and Jisung have been affected by their adoptive parents. 

Ideology and maybe some traits that they didn’t want to pick up, but subconsciously picked up during their prime developing years. 

He guesses none of them are proud to have inherited what they have, but now it’s only up to them to let those things go. 

One of Donghyuck’s examples could be right now, how he never knew it was okay, that it was  _ normal _ , to date an alpha even if he was one. He didn’t have to conform to what his parents expected of him, despite them both being alphas themselves. 

It wouldn’t be the first time their parents were this hypocritical. 

“There’s no difference,” Jaemin finally assures gently, patiently waiting for Donghyuck to look back at him. “Love is love,” he tacks on cheesily, just because he knows it’s something Donghyuck will laugh at, or maybe scrunch his nose in disgust. 

But instead, he asks, 

“How did you learn that?” Donghyuck whispers. 

Jaemin didn’t know a simple question could break his heart so much. 

“Because I had you,” Jaemin answers honestly, bumping their shoulders together. 

He admits, he acknowledges, and he knows that a large part of him being able to go to sleep at night and being able to tack a smile on his face was thanks for Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck’s easy words, comforting hugs, his simple way of putting a smile on anyone’s face. 

Family plays a huge part in getting to the end of the tunnel, and Jaemin is ready to do what Donghyuck did for him. 

“It’s not easy, listening to your own advice,” he says after a few beats of silence. “But that’s okay, Hyuckie. I love you, and I'll be by you.”

“I already had this conversation today,” Donghyuck tsks, and Jaemin can see him blinking rapidly, as if he were blinking his tears away. It makes Jaemin smile a little. “You’re so important to me. You and Jisung both.” 

Jaemin meant it, when he told Minji that living with Donghyuck sometimes made him want it to hit his brother with a frying pan, but it’s moments like these, moments where their vulnerability and emotions are out in the open, that he knows he wouldn’t trade it for a thing in the world. 

Because what’s better than living with your best friend?

“You guys are important to me too,” Jaemin grins, smothering Donghyuck in a hug right after and kissing his cheek. “You’ll be okay, my Hyuckie. Everyone in that family loves you.” 

Jaemin appreciates the laugh Donghyuck lets out, the laugh which makes Jaemin feel like he’s done as much as he can for now. When Donghyuck laughs like that, Jaemin feels like everything will be okay. 

“Our family,” he corrects in a whisper once he calms down. Slowly, Donghyuck looks him in the eyes for the first time since they’ve started this conversation. “They’re mine, Jisung’s, and your family.” 

Donghyuck couldn’t be any more right. 

  
  
  


Immediately upon arriving, Mark, which in turn means Donghyuck, sprints out of the car and into the house. Donghyuck had said something about Mark missing his mom recently, but he wasn’t expecting that. 

Nonetheless, Jaemin and Jeno make their way in after that, bags in tow as they greet Jeno’s dad. 

“Awesome seeing you two, I could actually use your help with a few things,” he says, motioning for them to come follow him. 

“But Mom—” Jeno tries, only to get cut off by his dad. 

“You’ll have your time with her,” he dismisses, and Jaemin bites back the urge to laugh. Jeno’s dad was always quite humorous. “I was planning on cleaning out the garage this weekend, and you two are excellent for the job.” 

As Jeno’s dad is opening the garage door from the inside, Jaemin hears Jeno scoff. 

“So you waited for us, didn't you?” Jeno sounds accusatory, but Jaemin knows it’s all in good nature. 

“Exactly,” he hums, pointing towards all the things that they needed to get rid of. He explains where to throw certain items and where to keep the rest, and all in all, it doesn’t seem that tedious. If Jaemin and Jeno work efficiently, they could be out of here within an hour and a half. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Jeno groans, half heartedly accepting the gloves his dad hands them. 

“Come on Jen, don’t complain so much,” Jaemin sighs, slipping his gloves on. “I’ll give you a kiss every time you clear a foot of space.” 

Jaemin sees that Jeno does perk up at that, but it also looks like he tries to hide it right after when he realizes he’s intrigued. 

“See, you’re good,” Jeno’s dad chuckles, clapping Jeno on the shoulder as he makes his way to the door. “If you two aren’t done by dinner, I’ll call you in. Have fun!” 

When the door shuts behind Jeno’s dad, the two are left in silence. 

Jaemin decides to break it by walking down a few steps and tossing the little things into a trash bin, while moving the bigger things they’re going to keep along the wall. 

He’s about to ask Jeno why he isn’t moving, but just as he opens his mouth, he hears the other boy walk down the stairs. 

“Okay, I don’t get it,” he starts, coming up next to Jaemin with furrowed eyebrows. He does start helping, tackling things in the area Jaemin wasn’t working in. “We’re alone right now, the garage is soundproof, and you’re  _ actually  _ working?” 

“But your dad asked us to,” Jaemin pouts, looking at Jeno. “And what would you even want to do in a  _ garage _ , of all places.” 

Jeno scoffs as he tosses another piece of garbage into the bin, also turning to look at Jaemin. 

“I could list ten things off the top of my head,” he deadpans, putting his hands on his hips for emphasis. Admittedly, Jaemin turns a bit red at the revelation, but that seems to be all Jeno needs to start speaking again. “We could make out, you pants look like they miss my hands in them, I wouldn't mind if you sucked—” 

“Is that all you are?” Jaemin squeaks, shoving Jeno away when he takes a few steps closer. He knows his cheeks are already darker than they were. “Just horny?” 

“I’m just saying, it’s so convenient now,” Jeno whines, reluctantly going back to work when he sees Jaemin doing so. “You won’t have this privacy at night.” 

“I am  _ begging  _ you to change the subject,” 

“I’d rather you  _ beg  _ for something else,”

“I’m not speaking to you anymore.” 

  
  
  


Jaemin manages to stay true to his words, which is why he and Jeno manage to get back inside an hour before dinner. 

They wash up quickly, and take short showers before joining everyone back downstairs. Donghyuck, Mark and their dad are sitting in the living room talking about something, and Jaemin smiles softly when he sees Donghyuck talk animatedly. 

He knew he was worried for nothing. 

“I’m gonna go yell at Dad for making us do that,” Jeno mutters as he walks away. He’s out of earshot before Jaemin can tell him to go easy, so he repents and decides to help set the table instead. 

He’s making his way to the kitchen when he hears laughter coming from there, his ears immediately picking up on two familiar laughs he knows very well. 

“Jisungie, you’re gonna slice your finger!” 

Jaemin only peers his head through the corner, intrigued to know what’s going on in there. It’s not everyday he hears Jisung laugh the way he is right now. 

“No I won’t! You taught me how to do it Ma, I’m fine,” is Jisung’s retaliation, and Jaemin finds himself frozen when he hears the word ‘Ma’ fall from his lips. 

It sounds so natural, spilling from his lips. It sounds like second nature, and so affectionate. 

Neither he nor Donghyuck have been unironically addressing Jeno’s parents by Mom and Dad yet, only on certain occasions. 

Now though, it seems like Jisung has found a family too, after all this time. And of course it happened to be with the Lee’s. 

“Jisung, just be careful, okay? I don’t want your blood on my hands,  _ or  _ my countertops.”

Jaemin hears boisterous laughter as he prepares himself to walk in, already knowing his heart won’t be able to handle how well her and Jisung get along. 

“Hey,” he calls, walking up to them. “Anything I could help with?” 

“Ah, Jaemin!” Mrs. Lee chimes, immediately coming up to him and cupping his face. “Oh, it’s so good to see you.” 

Her smile is bright, borderline contagious, and Jaemin finds his cheeks hurting from all the love he feels from this woman alone. 

“I missed you,” he admits, leaning into her palms and then the hug she envelopes him in after his confession. If this were a few months ago, he’d find it difficult to voice his genuine feelings to her, but now, with the help of Minji, he’s learned voicing how he feels is healthiest. 

“Oh, Nana I missed you too,” she says softly, patting his back before letting go. “I think Jisung and I have everything covered here though. How has Minji been?” 

Jaemin often sends her text updates about therapy and Minji, finding that to be the least he can do when all the bills are getting sent to her. Therapy isn’t cheap, but Jaemin also learned that there’s no price tag on love. 

“She's sweet as always,” he hums, still washing a few fruits he sees laying on the counter, despite her claiming they didn’t need any help. “And very helpful.” 

“I’m glad, Jaemin-ah,” 

Deep down, where Jaemin doesn’t even let Minji see, he’s glad too. 

Glad to have been blessed enough, to be let into a family this loving. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin climbs up the stairs after way too many cups

of tea with Jeno’s mother, finding themselves well

close to midnight by the time they split ways. 

When he makes it up to the third floor, he stops

by Jisung’s room before going to sleep. 

“Hey,” he says, walking into the room. He saw it the first time he was here, except then it was just a guest room. Now, it’s decorated the way Jisung likes it, and it makes a cozy feeling set into his heart. 

There’s a desk that Jaemin doubts Jisung has for school, seeing as he’s playing games there now, and a few shelves on the wall for his books and decoration stuff. 

Jaemin admits that compared to the room Jisung had in what was once called their home, this one looks emptier and has fewer things. 

But he also admits that when he sees the healthy glow on Jisung’s cheeks and the smiles which reach his eyes, Jaemin knows that this is already more home than anything else had ever been. 

“What’s up?” Jisung questions, patting the spot next to him on the bed. “Hyung was here a few minutes before you,” he comments as Jaemin takes a seat. 

“Which hyung?” He asks playfully, but the atmosphere he was aiming for shifts when a soft and genuine smile makes its way onto Jisung’s face. 

“I guess I have a lot now, huh?” He whispers, smiling up at Jaemin. “When we were little, you always said you wanted a big family.” 

Jaemin is surprised that Jisung still remembers this, but he makes it a point to nod as an answer anyways. 

He’s about to say something, but Jisung beats him to it. 

“You have that now, don’t you?” 

Jaemin lets out a sound that's somewhere between a laugh and a sob, finding it ridiculous how little Jisung, who he's known for almost half his life, who he’s seen grow up next to him, who he’s seen the worst of, who’s seen the worst of  _ him _ , was here, talking about the things Jaemin had dreamed of when he was a kid like it was no big deal. 

It’s every single time that Jisung does this, that Jaemin wonders that where between all the exams, soccer practices, suppressants, and puberty, had Jisung grown up. 

“I guess I do,” Jaemin shrugs, knocking shoulders with Jisung to bring the lightheartedness back. “You help around a lot,” he notes, nodding at his own statement. He’s seen how much Jisung lends a helping hand without being told to, whether it be preparing dinner, clearing the table, or even helping with the landscaping. “That’s good. Keep doing that, Sung, this is something  _ huge _ —”

Jaemin is used to Jisung cutting him off, he disdainfully admits, but he didn’t think Jisung would cut him off while he was in the midst of talking about something so important. 

“About the jobs you and Hyuck hyung talked about,” he interjects, and Jaemin wonders what that has to do with anything. The confusion must’ve shown on his face, because Jisung continues rather quickly. 

When Jaemin looks closely, he sees the younger biting his lip anxiously, and he suddenly wonders if there’s a problem. 

“I have a lot of money,” he mumbles after some time, finally looking up at Jaemin’s eyes. “They always gave me a lot, and I never spent too much. And since I haven’t been spending any recently, there's…  _ A lot _ .” 

Jaemin wasn’t a stranger to their bank accounts, they always had an absurd amount of pocket money because of their adoptive parents, and because it was that  _ absurd _ , they never used all of it. 

Money has accumulated since they’ve first opened their accounts, which have been used for savings and personal things, since their adoptive parents like to take pride in paying for their tuition and rent. 

“I know that,” Jaemin agrees, a bit confused about why Jisung even brought it up. 

“And even after we moved accounts, they haven’t stopped giving us money,” 

Once again, Jaemin nods, in agreement. 

He doesn’t know if it means that his parents are just that dense and just think they’re trying to be more independent, or maybe it’s to show that they’re bathing in money, but Jaemin isn’t complaining. 

For the next few years, they’ll need every penny they can get their hands on. 

“So… You really don’t need to find a job right now,” Jisung says apprehensively, knowing how serious and responsible Jaemin was about things in the long run. 

And he expects it when Jaemin says,

“But we need—”

“Think about it,” Jisung cuts off again. “You have enough money for the next three years, if you keep letting that lady think you’re taking your pills. Donghyuck hyung is good for another three to four too if he can hold himself back—”

“— Which he probably can’t,” Jaemin interjects, and Jisung doesn’t deny it. 

He wasn’t wrong, anyway.

“Either way,” Jisung starts again. “And I’m good for my tuition. If I live with you, I’ll just need a part time job or something.”

Jisung has reasonable points, and everything he’s said makes perfect sense. 

But again, it all comes down to  _ why  _ he’s talking about this right now. 

And, there seems to be something he’s forgotten. 

A tiny detail that can change everything. 

“All of that… That’s  _ if  _ you even get into where we are,” he frowns, not liking to have to even entertain that idea. 

Yes, he’s realistic and understands that Jisung won’t get into the university he’s attending just because he  _ wants _ him to, but he also hopes that some deity up there is listening to his pleas in having Jisung closer now. 

Jaemin admits he’s impressed with the amount of thinking Jisung has put into this plan. 

He was right when he said he could easily make his mother believe he still takes pills and is on his way to becoming an alpha, and he was right when he said Donghyuck would be safe as long as he kept his cool for a few more years. 

Jisung has always been a bit of a favourite too, since he was younger and they had more time to drill poor ideologies into his brain, so he’d still be getting an allowance until he’s crossed them. 

_ But… _

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Jisung suddenly says, snapping him out of the one sided debate he was having inside of his own head. “Hyung, that's the  _ last  _ thing you need to worry about.” 

Jaemin doesn’t know why Jisung’s smile is broadening with every passing second, but he decides to ask. 

“And why is that?”

Instead of verbally answering him, Jisung gets up from his seat and walks over to one of the floating shelves on the wall. He grabs what seems to be a folded piece of paper, and Jaemin wonders how he hadn’t noticed it before. 

Wordlessly, Jisung hands the paper to Jaemin, who looks at it apprehensively for a second before taking it between his fingers slowly. 

His heart is beating a mile a minute because of suspense, and he’d be lying if he said the lack of knowledge is killing him. He’d rather know if this was something bad or good beforehand, but by the looks of it, Jisung is staying mum about the whole thing until Jaemin unfolds the paper. 

But when Jaemin unfolds the paper, only two words stick out to him amongst the hundreds typed out. 

  
  


**ADMISSION GRANTED**

  
  


He doesn’t need to read more before he’s throwing the acceptance letter away and gaping up at Jisung, who’s smiling at him expectantly.

“O-Oh my God, Park Jisung—”

He doesn’t even let himself finish before jumping up and grabbing Jisung in a tight hug, practically squeezing the life out of him in order to express the feelings his words can’t. 

“Donghyuck hyung was here before you, I already showed him the letter,” Jisung says, hugging Jaemin back, albeit not as tight. Jaemin thinks it has something to do with his restricted movements. “Do you two have space for one more?” He asks cheekily. 

Except the cheeky grin is wiped off of his face when Jaemin lets go of the hug and he sees his brother’s eyes teary, his chin wobbling dangerously. 

Jaemin admits he surprised himself too, with his tears, and in the back of his mind he thinks he’s being ridiculous. But what’s at the forefront of his mind overpowers him, and words are slipping out of his mouth before he can even organize his thoughts. 

“Do you know how hard it was to be away from you?” Jaemin asks wetly, voice barely above a whisper because he’s afraid it’d crack. 

When Jisung doesn’t answer, whether it’s from speechlessness or Jaemin’s abrupt tears, the latter lets it slide and just continues. 

“I couldn’t help but—  _ We  _ couldn’t help but think about what those monsters were doing to you now that we had left,” Jaemin says, laying it all out because there’s no more reason to hide it. 

Jisung will be free, after all. 

“There wasn’t a day where we woke up missing the way your snores could be heard across the floor, or missing the way you woke us up gently on the off days you were awake before us,” Jaemin admits, walking closer to Jisung and cupping the younger’s face in his hands. 

Jisung is so tall now, grown into his features and bulked up where a growing boy should be bulked up. 

Jaemin feels like it's dramatic to say he’s missed two years of Jisung growing up when Jisung manages to visit pretty often, but it’s nothing compared to seeing him everyday. 

The only reminder of the eleven year old boy who held sparkles in his eyes and shared his toys with Jaemin is the slight chub in his cheeks. 

“There wasn’t a day where we didn’t miss our best friend,” 

Jaemin lets a tear fall then, which is quickly followed by more. 

He’s been crying a lot more often, he’s realized, but he can’t find it in him to berate himself like he would’ve before. 

Jisung should know that there’s more than enough space.

There’ll always be more than enough space. 

“I’m not a baby anymore,” Jisung whispers, wiping away Jaemin’s tears. “If I see you cry over me again, I’ll beat you up.” 

Jisung manages to make Jaemin laugh with this, a thick sound which blocks the sound of the door opening behind them. 

“I can recognize Jaemin crying from miles away,” a familiar voice drawls, a voice and tone so powerful it makes Jaemin roll his eyes despite the situation. “You get used to it, when he cries during every movie we watch.” 

“Can it, Hyuck,” Jaemin grumbles, turning around just in time to see the slightly upwards quirks of Donghyuck’s lips. 

“I take it you’ve seen the letter?” He asks, to which Jaemin simply nods. “Gonna miss the office we have going on then?” Donghyuck questions, referring to the third bedroom space. 

“Not in the slightest,” he answers, staring directly at Jisung when he says this. 

It makes Jisung grimace in disgust, but it’s so  _ Jisung  _ that Jaemin is more endeared than offended. 

And because it’s so  _ Jisung,  _ Donghyuck makes a show of starting an argument over it. 

“Watch that face, you can sleep on the couch for all I care—”

“Don’t bother lying!” Jisung cuts off, a victorious grin on his face as he says, “Jaemin hyung told me everything. I know you were miserable without me. Waking up everyday and not seeing my face, coming back home to an empty living room.” 

Donghyuck splutters for a while, as if he’s at a loss of what to say. He’s always had a harder time showing his emotions, even if it was to Jisung. 

“Don't believe everything your Jaemin hyung says,” Donghyuck counters back, crossing his arms over his chest and throwing Jaemin a glare. “He tells you he likes your ramen.”

It’s just like that, that the three of them find themselves in a spat that painfully reminds him of the mundane things they’d argue over when they spent hours bleeding into the morning together in one bedroom, never getting sleepy. 

Just like that, and Jaemin feels even more at home. 

  
  
  


Jaemin leaves Jisung’s room after Donghyuck does, and by now it’s well into the early hours of the morning. 

The hallways are dark, so Jaemin uses the flashlight on his phone. He points it towards the ground so that he doesn’t risk waking anyone up, since he notices that the light sleeping through the bottom cracks of the doors aren’t there. 

He makes sure to keep his footsteps light, closing Jisung’s door softly behind him and opening Jeno’s equally as quietly. 

Jaemin expects it to be dark in Jeno’s room too, but he’s taken aback when there’s a soft yellow light illuminating the room. It’s still rather dim, but the yellow is comforting and warm. 

Jaemin turns off his phone flashlight to see Jeno sitting up against the headboard of his bed, glasses perched neatly on his nose and a book laid open in his lap. He’s already changed into pyjamas as well, but when Jaemin takes a few steps closer, he sees that Jeno still looks wide awake. 

“There you are,” the older boy says softly, folding the corner of his book page over and placing it onto his bedside table gently. “I was wondering how long you’d be.” 

“You absolutely did not have to wait up,” Jaemin says just as softly, heading towards his bag and pulling out his pyjamas. “You must be tired.” 

Out of his peripheral, Jaemin sees Jeno shrug, but he doesn’t say anything. 

Jaemin doesn’t either, keeping the silence between them as he strips himself from the clothes he’s been wearing all day. 

With Jeno’s eyes on him, he feels just a little self conscious about pulling his shirt over his head, but it only takes a few seconds for his mind to remind him that it’s Jeno, and that Jeno wasn’t going to think anything of his body. 

He’s a bit lost in his thoughts, so much so that he doesn’t hear the sound of Jeno getting out of bed, and doesn’t even hear the soft footsteps of Jeno coming up behind him until he feels two warm, large hands on his hips. 

Jaemin startles only a little, turning his head and peering over his shoulder curiously at Jeno.

Wordlessly, he conveys his question with a raised eyebrow. 

“Months ago, you said that you’d grow more into your omega body since you’ve stopped taking suppressants,” Jeno starts, words barely more than a mumble as he traces his hands up and down Jaemin’s sides. “You have gotten curvier, I’ve noticed.”

Jaemin flushes at Jeno’s observation, though he doubts his boyfriend can see much through the dim lighting. 

“Wider hips, smaller waist, but still the prettiest boy in the world,” Jeno continues, peppering kisses on the back of his neck. 

Jaemin tries to ignore the butterfly-inducing action, pulling pyjama shorts onto his legs and grabbing his sleeping shirt. 

Jeno doesn’t let go even as he tries to put his shirt on, which leaves the fabric stopping awkwardly around his waist where Jeno’s hands are resting. 

“You’re beautiful,” Jeno says, pressing more kisses onto his neck, trailing a line from the back to the side, until his head is tucked into his shoulder, lips right now his ear. “So beautiful.” 

Jaemin turns around then, haste not present in his movements as his hands curl around Jeno’s neck, as his eyes slip shut softly, as their lips meet chastely. 

They move slowly together, something soft and vulnerable dancing between their bodies and folding itself into their kisses. Something which spreads warmth in the pits of their bellies, and makes their instincts call to pull each other even closer. 

Breathy sounds from both of them break the silence in the air around them, a strangled sound coming out of the back of Jaemin’s throat when Jeno parts the seam of his lips with his tongue. 

It’s familiar, and it reminds Jaemin of the countless nights they’ve spent tangled together, the hours spent in the dark in Jeno’s car, the feel of his back pressed against brick when neither of them were patient enough to wait until they had privacy. 

A feeling so warm and familiar, something so delicious and heartfelt, that it has Jaemin’s breath hitching, mouth parting, and words begging as he whispers,

“Bite me,”

Jeno doesn’t answer for a few seconds, instead letting one of his hands come up Jaemin’s chest and up his neck, holding him still as his thumb runs over the spot to the left of his Adam’s apple. 

“Yeah?” Jeno asks in an equally soft whisper, his eyes already opened, watching as Jaemin’s flutter open slowly, watching as Jaemin nods his head and looks at Jeno with wide pupils. 

“Yeah,” 

And then Jeno kisses him again, with a passion that makes one arm curl around his waist while his other hand trails up to cup his face. 

Jeno moves the both of them back to the bed even in the semi-darkness, until the back of Jaemin’s legs bump into the mattress, until he’s laid down, until Jeno towers over him with their mouths still connected. 

“Alpha,” Jaemin breathes out, sliding his hands down Jeno’s back until he reaches the hem of his shirt, pulling the fabric up and over his head. “Can I bite you?”

Jeno sucks in a sharp breath at the question, head dizzy with arousal and love as he stares down at Jaemin, at the way his chest rises and falls, at the way his hands run down his biceps. 

It’s overwhelming, the swarm of fuzzy feelings which overpower his stomach, nothing like the usual burning fire which begs to be satiated. 

This time, it feels like a desire that can only be qualmed with his teeth sinking into his omega’s skin, with a permanent mark on Jaemin’s skin which goes to show their bond. 

That they’re  _ mates _ . 

That after the bites, their emotional connection will be deeper than ever, that after the bites, their hearts will beat only for each other. 

“You wanna be my mate?” Jeno asks redundantly, as if Jaemin hadn’t made it obvious enough. “You wanna be my omega?” 

“Yes,” Jaemin whimpers, lolling his head to the side and baring his neck for Jeno to kiss. “I just want  _ you _ ,”

When Jaemin puts it like that, it’s hard for Jeno to even think of saying anything other than ‘okay’.

But, as much as he wants nothing more than to claim Jaemin as his own, to have the deepest bond possible with him, it’s a rather serious affair. 

When mates split up, be it for whatever reason, the heartbreak is soul crushing, since it’s the equivalent of losing the literal other half of your heart. It’s like losing something precious from deep within, and the last thing Jeno ever wants to do is put Jaemin through that type of pain. 

It’s barely explainable, he’s heard people say. The only true way to know how horrible losing a mate is, is to experience it yourself.

And Jeno wasn’t terribly keen on letting either of them find out. 

So as much as he knows Jaemin will chase him, Jeno breaks their kiss and puts some space between them. Just enough to see Jaemin’s face, enough to see the way his chest rises and falls rapidly with his heavy breathing. 

He doesn’t say anything until Jaemin’s eyes are opening, until his eyebrows furrow a little at Jeno’s contemplative expression. 

Jaemin seems to translate the look the wrong way, heart suddenly ten times heavier in his chest and hands hesitant where they’re perched on Jeno’s shoulders. 

The older boy feels them twitch a little, probably debating whether to drop them or not. Before Jeno can assure him though, Jaemin starts speaking. 

“You don’t want to?” He asks in a whisper, eyes constantly flickering between looking into Jeno’s and looking away. He wants to hold eye contact with their conversation, but he also fears what he’ll see if he looks for too long. “T-That’s okay…”

Jeno sighs, grabbing both of Jaemin’s hands and dropping them from his shoulders. He holds them in one of his, between their bodies as he makes sure they’re looking at each other. 

“I love you,” Jeno says, the corner of his lips quirking up. 

Jaemin can just barely make it out in the low light. 

“I love you too,” Jaemin says thickly, hoping it’s too dark for Jeno to make out how his eyes water a little. 

Does he not want to be mates with him? Does he think Jaemin is being too rash or haste? 

It breaks Jaemin’s heart in half, thinking that Jeno might not want to bite him, might not want to seal everything permanently, because Jaemin has known that’s what he wanted for a while now.

He knows Jeno loves him, he doesn’t think that Jeno is having second thoughts about that, but maybe it’s… Maybe Jeno doesn’t see a forever in him. 

Maybe he isn’t Jeno’s forever. 

But then, Jeno continues with,

“And I want to be your mate,” he says, smiling softly when he sees how wide Jaemin’s eyes get at the words. “What else did you think?” He teases, although he has a slight idea. 

“Well I— You just… Didn’t say anything,” Jaemin mumbles, unable to meet Jeno’s eyes, feeling a bit guilty for ever doubting Jeno’s feelings and intentions with him. “I want to be your mate,” he tacks on, just for extra measure.

“Good,” Jeno whispers, leaning down to kiss his cheek. Jaemin feels the older boy’s lips curve up in a smile against his skin. “Because it’s really hard stopping myself from biting you right now.”

Jaemin huffs out a laugh at Jeno’s words, bringing his hands back to rest around Jeno’s neck. 

He stares into his eyes for so long he loses track of time, but it’s Jeno who breaks the silence. 

“You know that if we’re mates, then… I’m yours for life, right?”

Jaemin quirks up an eyebrow, almost like he’s amused by Jeno’s question. 

“And I wouldn’t want anyone else for life,”

Jeno kisses the beautiful grin right off of Jaemin’s face, kissing him passionately and rendering them both speechless. 

Unlike other nights, Jeno takes his time tonight, kissing Jaemin thoroughly before pulling their lips apart to kiss up his cheeks and down his jaw. 

Jaemin is a bit bubblier than usual too, giggles escaping his lips every second and hands gentle and soft as they run along Jeno’s nape and back. 

It doesn’t take long for the sensation of Jaemin’s fingers to start tickling him, until he has to take a break to also let out a few quiet giggles of his own. 

But there’s not too much of that, seeing as now that Jeno isn’t completely laid down over Jaemin anymore. The younger takes the opportunity to push Jeno onto his back by the shoulders, onto his back. 

It’s Jaemin’s turn to crawl atop of him now, knees braced on either side of Jeno’s hips as he leans down to kiss up his neck. 

Jaemin’s nose brushes up right against Jeno’s scent gland, the tree bark and vodka sending both arousal and comfort through his body at the same time. Unable to get enough of the heady scent, Jaemin stays marking Jeno’s skin with bruises of purple, red, and pink for so long that it feels like hours when his swollen lips finally make it back up to Jeno’s mouth. 

“Pretty sure you just mauled me, sweetheart,” Jeno chuckles breathlessly, cheeks blushed a dark red and hands eagerly making their way under Jaemin’s shirt. 

“Don’t be too mad,” Jaemin mumbles against Jeno’s lips, one of his hands cupping Jeno’s jaw while the other rakes through his hair. “I’ll let you do worse.”

Jeno all but growls at Jaemin’s words, suddenly seeming like his patience snapped with the way he pulls Jaemin’s shirt over his head hurriedly. 

Jaemin doesn’t necessarily know why, they have the whole night ahead of them. 

Either way, he lets Jeno toss his shirt away somewhere, sitting back on the older boy’s thighs as he takes off Jeno’s shirt too. 

Now, with so much of Jeno’s inviting, pale skin on display, his hands move before his mind as he makes way to undo the drawstring of Jeno’s pyjama pants. He only gets off slightly to let Jeno strip his pants off, but finds himself back in the other’s lap with their tongues tangled soon after. 

“You don’t know how pretty you are,” Jaemin mumbles into Jeno’s mouth, at the same time he lets Jeno shove a hand down his pants. His breath catches in his throat as a strangled sort of sound escapes his lips. “My pretty alpha.”

Jeno hums contentedly at Jaemin’s words, stroking up and down his length until he’s panting in their kiss and digging his nails into the skin of his back. 

Jaemin’s pheromones are quick to fill up the room, always being the more prominent scent between the two of them. His arousal tinges the peaches sweeter and Rosé stronger, but Jeno thinks it complements the earthiness of his tree bark perfectly. 

“Baby, lay down,” Jeno mutters sweetly, both hands now on Jaemin’s hips as he coaxes him down on the bed. “Let me make you mine.”

Jaemin’s eyes close blissfully at the words, a soft smile on his face, only growing when he feels Jeno start littering kisses along his stomach. 

Despite watching Jeno’s mom turn on the air conditioning, Jaemin feels like he’s burning up when Jeno pulls his pants and underwear down in one go. Blood pumps through his veins all the way south, until he’s blushed red down to his chest and his fingers curl desperately into Jeno’s bedsheets. 

“Mm, Alpha,” Jaemin moans breathily when Jeno sucks a hickey onto his thigh, his teeth grazing the mark right after, like a tease of what was to come. 

And Jaemin, knowing their circumstance, knows it’s more than promising. 

Jeno makes quick work of kissing up his body until their lips meet again, and it’s with a blind hand that he reaches into his bedside table to search for a bottle of lube. When Jaemin catches sight of it and sees that it’s already been opened, he remembers Jeno slipping an entirely new bottle into his backpack when packing. 

“Been thinking about me?” He pants teasingly, though he thinks the effect is gone when his words bleed out into a moan when Jeno pinches his nipples between his fingers. 

“Always,” the other shamelessly admits, shucking off his own boxers and squeezing lube onto his fingers. “About you, your long legs, your pretty chest, your red lips, how good they look taking my cock, how beautiful you look gagging for it,”

Jaemin lets his mouth fall open at Jeno’s sudden words, and as he realizes that he now has knowledge of what Jeno thinks about when he… Has fun on his own. 

Jeno smirks when he looks down to see Jaemin gaping at him, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips as his hand makes its way down between his legs. 

“Why did that surprise you?” Jeno mumbles as he pushes one finger past Jaemin’s relaxed hole. He moves slowly, never going too fast. He likes to watch the way Jaemin takes his bottom lip between his teeth, and the way his eyes flutter shut with his face scrunched up in pleasure. “What else am I supposed to think about?”

Jaemin takes a deep breath in, not answering for a few seconds as he gets used to Jeno’s finger. 

“I just didn’t think you’d say it,” he admits quietly, silently asking Jeno to add another finger with his eyes. 

Like always, Jeno understands and adds a second, moving his hand a little faster and scissoring his fingers slightly. 

“I don’t like thinking about anyone else,” Jeno says, kissing up Jaemin’s neck, giving extra attention to his scent gland, and then taking his earlobe between his teeth. “Only my mate.”

Jaemin’s whine is audible at the words, his head lolling to the side at the words whispered close to his ear and the scent hitting him right in the face. 

When Jeno sees the state he’s in, he adds a third finger and looks into Jaemin’s hazy eyes. 

“It used to be hard for me to look at you with your neck like that,” he admits, running the thumb of his opposite hand right over his scent gland. “But now I’m allowed to take you.”

“Fuck,” Jaemin curses, not too sure what he’s curing. Whether it’s Jeno’s words which make his gut twist, or his fingers which have found his prostate which makes his arousal pool deep in his tummy. 

Either way, he’s had enough prep, and makes sure Jeno knows this too. 

“Fuck me,” he says, startled out of his skin when Jeno immediately shushes him at the request. 

When Jeno sees his wide eyes, he at least has the decency to look a bit bashful. 

“I like it when you’re loud, but we’re still in my parent’s house,” he reminds them, to which Jaemin flushes embarrassedly. He admits, he did forget about that detail. “Your brother’s room is right next to mine, my brother’s room is on the other side, and my parent’s room is down the hall,” he continues, seeming to like the mortified look which paints itself onto Jaemin’s face. 

He can only hope that no one has heard them and has grown suspicious up until now. 

“We don’t have to do this here,” Jeno says when Jaemin lets one beat too many go by in silence. “Or now… Not that I don’t want to!”

Jaemin can’t help but snort. 

Jeno seems a bit taken aback by it, so Jaemin uses that to his advantage as he pulls him down by the shoulders. 

When their lips are brushing, he says,

“Just keep me quiet, Alpha,” he whispers, satisfied when a growl rumbles from within Jeno’s chest. “Now fuck me, please.”

Jeno doesn’t dwindle much at all after that, lubing his length before guiding himself to Jaemin’s puckered hole. 

Jeno starts slowly, as he always does, but then Jaemin starts wiggling his hips and urging Jeno in deeper, like he always does. 

Jeno doesn’t like ever denying Jaemin what he wants, much less when it’s in such a vulnerable situation like this. 

So it’s like that that Jeno pushes in inch by inch, until he’s fully inside of Jaemin. Both of them are breathing heavily, and it’s when Jeno thrusts shallowly for the first time that Jaemin moans, loudly. 

“Fuck, fuck,” Jeno curses, not sure if he’s cursing out how loud Jaemin is, or if he’s cursing out the mind blowing tight feeling of Jaemin’s walls around him. “Shit, you’re so tight.”

Jaemin might’ve blushed at the words, Jeno’s not too sure. He’s distracted by the way Jaemin pulls him closer with both hands on his back, until they’re skin on skin. 

“You’re so good,” Jaemin sighs out pleasurably, busying himself with kissing Jeno’s jaw and neck. “You feel so good.”

The words spur on Jeno, who puts more force into his thrusts, effectively rendering Jaemin incapable of creating anymore coherent sentences. 

With every movement, every shift of their hips, Jaemin moans louder and louder, and while the sound is heaven to Jeno’s ears, he’d rather save them both the embarrassment of being caught. 

“Right there, right there, please—”

Jaemin gets cut off by a hand slamming down onto his mouth, eyes shooting open and looking up at where Jeno is grunting above him. 

“I love you, but you need to be quiet. Understand?” He asks breathlessly, black bangs falling into his eyes and hot breath hitting Jaemin’s face. When the younger nods at Jeno’s question, he softens a little. “Good boy.”

Jeno continues to pound into Jaemin, now with more power as he feels the familiar pit of pleasure growing in his stomach. He can’t take his eyes off of Jaemin’s face, not like he’d want to anyway. He likes the way he can only gage his emotions from his eyes; the way they squeeze shut, the way they roll into the back of his head, and the way they blow out big and wide when Jeno does something he knows the younger will like. 

It’s when Jaemin is raking his nails down Jeno’s back that the latter knows he’s close, along with the way his breath becomes staggered against his palm. 

A few seconds later, Jeno realizes he’s trying to say something. 

A bit embarrassed by his reaction time, Jeno removes his hand from Jaemin’s mouth and doesn’t even get to hear what Jaemin wanted to say before the younger is pulling him down for a kiss. 

It’s absolutely filthy, but Jaemin somehow makes the way their tongues twist together more romantic than sensual. 

“Kiss me,” Jaemin whispers when there’s a bit of a gap between their faces. “I wanted you to kiss me,”

Of all the things spoken tonight, Jaemin’s own words make him blush the most, until it makes Jeno grin so broadly he’s laughing. 

So he does exactly what Jaemin wanted, and leans down again to kiss him. Softer this time, because he still wants Jaemin to focus on the hand he wraps around the his cock, stroking up and down in time with his thrusts. 

“Bite me,” Jaemin whimpers, and by the way the vein in his neck pops, Jeno knows he’s close. 

“Where?” He asks breathlessly, which only earns him Jaemin shaking his head. 

“Anywhere,” he begs, pulling Jeno closer, close enough where he could bite. “Just want to be your omega.” 

“Shit, baby,” Jeno grunts, eyeing up Jaemin’s neck for the next few seconds before settling on a spot right above his collarbone, next to the divot. “Bite me anywhere too, okay?”

Jaemin nods his head rapidly, pulling Jeno down closer, closer, and closer. Until it feels like no air can pass through them, until it feels like they really are one. 

Jeno is the one who sinks his teeth in first, biting down hard and hearing Jaemin cry out above him. It doesn’t take more than three seconds before Jeno feels Jaemin’s own teeth dig into the side of his neck, just a little above where the skin blends into his shoulder. 

Euphoria like no other rushes through them both, adrenaline and pleasure pumping through their veins and bodies. Both their releases leave them sticky from the waist down, but while they shiver in pleasure and twitch with the remnants of their orgasms, Jeno starts thrusting slowly again. 

“Jeno,” Jaemin sobs, heavy and loud, and Jeno thinks it’s enough to wake someone up. 

So he does what he thinks is nicer than shutting him up with his hand again, and kisses Jaemin. 

Their first kiss after sealing everything— their relationship, their feelings, their love, their  _ souls _ — feels like something indescribable. 

It’s different, now that their bond runs deeper than it already had, it feels like everything is right with the world when their lips lock, feels like walking on a cloud that’s as soft as cotton candy. 

Sharing a soul does that to you, he supposes.

With every shake of Jaemin’s body, Jeno mirrors. 

Every time Jeno shudders, Jaemin does too. 

When Jeno’s heart skips a beat, looking into Jaemin’s glorious, happy, gorgeous eyes, Jaemin’s skips a beat too. 

“Jaemin-ah,” Jeno whispers, a smile so large that it’s bound to crack his lips splitting onto his face. “I love you.”

Jaemin sobs again, but he’s happy. 

He lets more tears fall, because they’re happy tears. 

He forgets about everyone else in the world right now. 

His mother doesn’t cross his mind, his father doesn’t cross his mind. His adoptive mother doesn’t cross his mind, his adoptive father doesn’t cross his mind. Renjun, Yukhei, Hyunjin, Xiaojun, none of them cross his mind. Not even Jisung, Donghyuck, or Mark, or Jeno’s parents. 

Because right now, he’s looking at his boyfriend. 

His Jeno. 

His alpha. 

His mate. 

And it’s easy to forget everything that has happened in the past, everything which has plagued his mind, body, and soul. 

Because you don’t think of any of that when you’re looking into your mate’s eyes. 

Jaemin certainly didn’t know, the day he picked up a flimsy blue-ink ballpoint pen from a dirty dinner floor, that he’d be handing it to his future mate. 

There’s no more second guessing. There’s no more insecurity. There’s no more preparing for the inevitable. 

“I love you too, Jeno-ya,”

And now, their hearts beat for each other. 

_ Mates for life.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Awakening with hands kneading into his skin, Jaemin lets out a content breath first thing in the morning. 

The golden sunlight filters through the bedroom curtain as the sun rises, and the chirping of birds is faint in the quietness of the atmosphere. Jaemin wants to remember the sweet scent from the pillows his face is pressed against, but then a different scent takes over and overwhelms him. 

His favourite scent, so he isn’t complaining at all. 

Especially not when pillowy soft lips come accompany his skin alongside the hands working wonders into the muscles of his back. 

“Mm, morning,” Jaemin mumbles, not interested in opening his eyes just yet, or moving from his warm and comfortable spot. He knows he’ll have to inevitably, but he’s not eager to until then. 

“Good morning, sweetheart,” his favourite voice reciprocates, lips moving from his back to the side of his neck. A familiar tongue pokes out to run over a mark which he stares at way too often, but it’s welcome, and he loves it. “Sore?”

The question is asked in reference to the night before, where peace hadn’t been this tame in this very bed. Where he wasn’t this calm and sated, where he was desperate and hot instead.

But Jaemin refuses to think about that right now, finding solace in the easy movements of the morning.

“Not terribly,” he answers, finally turning only his head over so that Jeno was in view now. He looks handsome without a shirt on, with his mating bite on display and his hair messed up from the way Jaemin had pulled on it. “I wouldn’t have minded, if you wanted to be a bit rougher.” 

Jeno smiles brilliantly at that, and Jaemin is reminded of why he loves him so much. The sun coming through the windows shines brightly across Jeno’s face, and the warmth emitted from his skin is addicting when Jaemin flips over onto his back and runs his hands down Jeno’s back.

It’s been years of this, seeing Jeno looming on top of him with a devastatingly cute smile, but Jaemin still can’t quite comprehend how ethereal the sight is. 

Hair so light that it’s blond, eyebrows so sculpted that they’re arched, lips so swollen that they’re red. 

So perfect that he’s Jeno. 

“When are you going into work? It’s Friday,” Jaemin whispers, using his fingertips to brush Jeno’s bangs out of his eyes. 

“Scheduled for 8:00am,” Jeno answers regretfully, leaning down more and running his nose along Jaemin’s neck. “I can drop you off today though.” 

“What time is it?” 

“5:30,” Jeno mumbles, and now Jaemin feels the wet press of his lips on his skin again. “Bright and early.” 

Jaemin groans softly when he learns how early it is, relishing in Jeno’s touch, kisses, and warmth as much as he can before he knows they’ll both have to pull away and get ready for the day ahead of them. 

“Too early,” Jaemin groans softly, pulling Jeno down completely in his arms, and cuddling more into his smell and warmth. If he had a choice, he wouldn’t move an inch from this bed the whole day. “Let’s call in sick.” 

Jeno snorts, and Jaemin would reprimand him for making fun of him if he didn’t think he sounded quite atrocious himself.

“I’m afraid that’s not how it works,” Jeno smiles, Jaemin can hear it. “And the day will be over before you know it. It’ll be alright.” 

Jaemin mumbles something incoherent after that, and Jeno doesn’t bother asking for clarification. Instead, he runs his hand up and down the bare skin of Jaemin’s back, enjoying what little time left they have together. 

“Can you give me a massage before bed tonight?” Jaemin asks after some time, moving his head out of Jeno’s chest and looking up at him with his big, pouty eyes. 

Jeno melts a little inside, and he doubts he’s able to conceal the way he feels on his face. 

“Of course,” he answers without skipping a beat. “Why though? I thought you said you wanted it even rougher.” He smirks. 

Jaemin smacks Jeno’s chest lightly at that, not as powerful as he could be since he’s still lethargic from just waking up. 

“Crouching down with kids all day is tiring,” he admits, yawning loudly and blinking away the water that formed in his eyes. “They're so little, so I have to make myself little too.” 

“You are little,” Jeno counters, hugging Jaemin tighter and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Little baby.”

Jaemin glares at Jeno, though he wonders if Jeno can even see him. 

With a spare glance at the clock, Jaemin reluctantly accepts that it's time to get up, and start to slowly sit up. 

The blankets pool at his waist, leaving everything above that bare for Jeno’s eyes. 

And he doesn’t know why he expected Jeno to be mature for his age, it’s been  _ six years _ , but the older boy still whistles when he sees Jaemin’s body and skin, marked up with bruises and love bites alike. 

“Don’t look so proud,” Jaemin grumbles, stepping out of the bed and pointedly ignoring how Jeno’s eyes roam over his body like a starved man. “I have to cover some of them up, you animal.”

“As if you didn’t have fun with me too,” Jeno scoffs, also getting up and pointing towards his own mauled chest. “I should put a cone on you with how restless you were.”

“At least  _ I  _ have the decency to keep them hidden. I’m mindful of the way we both work with kids,” the younger spits back, looking through his closet to find an outfit for today. “I can already imagine what some of them would say, ‘ _ Teacher Nana, who gave you a booboo? Teacher Nana, why is your skin purple?’ _ And what do I tell them then? They're children!” He cries incredulously, whipping a belt out of the closet. 

“You tell them you have a fiancé who is terribly attracted to you,” Jeno answers from his own closet, winking at Jaemin when the latter turns around. 

“God so help me, I won’t show up to the altar,” he threatens, walking into the bathroom first for the mere purpose to keep Jeno locked out until he’s done. 

“You know you will!” Jeno yells confidently through the door, and Jaemin is glad the older boy can’t see the way his cheeks redden.

Every time their inevitable wedding is mentioned, Jaemin is rendered useless. It feels like a dream come true, knowing that he did find someone, that he has a mate, that he has a fiancé, and that some time in the near future, he’ll have a husband. 

Jaemin remembers the night Jeno got down on one knee merely a year ago, looking up at Jaemin with stars shining in his eyes and a promise of eternity glimmering in between. 

If magic could be defined, it would’ve been that night. The night where he said yes, where he cried happy tears with Jeno, drank an abundance of wine until their brains were fuzzy, and crashed into bed in the arms of his  _ forever.  _

It always comes back to forever with Jeno, doesn’t it? 

He’s incapable of wiping the grin off of his face as he takes a shower and gets dressed, which proves to be a feat while he’s brushing his teeth. But it’s alright, because he has time to spare with how early Jeno had woken him up. 

Their bathroom is a bit of a mess, and he makes a mental note to clean it up sometime during the weekend. It’s more of Jeno’s things that litter the counters and creates a mess, or maybe he’s just saying that so that he can make him do most of the cleaning. He isn’t too sure anymore, but it’s alright. Jeno would clean all of it if Jaemin asked without a legitimate reason anyways. 

Jaemin comes out of the bathroom, dressed, refreshed, and feeling ten times more awake than when he entered. He also doesn’t feel bad about the extra time he took, since having to cover all his hickeys was Jeno’s fault anyways. 

Speaking of Jeno, he’s still laying down on the bed when Jaemin comes back into the bedroom, clothes laid out for the day beside him. He also already made their bed, which Jaemin appreciates, and springs right up and grabs his things when he sees that Jaemin is done. 

“I left your coffee on the counter,” Jeno informs as he passes by him, yawning right after. “And the weather says it’s going to be cold today.” 

Jaemin hums to show his acknowledgement, but other than that he simply grabs a few other things he needs from their room, like his bag, laptop, phone, and wallet, and then makes his way downstairs to the kitchen. 

He spots the cup of coffee Jeno made instantly, still steaming to show that it was still warm. Gratefully, he takes a sip and relishes in the warmth, before sauntering around the kitchen and making them both a simple breakfast. 

It’s rare that they get to eat together in the mornings, since Jeno’s shifts fluctuate a lot in timing. Sometimes, Jeno leaves earlier than Jaemin and comes home later, or he leaves after Jaemin and comes home sooner. Maybe he even leaves earlier and comes back earlier, or leaves later and comes back later. 

There’s never a guarantee, but Jeno really loves what he’s doing so Jaemin isn’t one to have a problem with it. He’s worked hard, to become a pediatrician, even if he’s still completing residency right now. Jaemin is still immensely proud of him, just like Jeno was when Jaemin graduated teacher’s college and got his first position as a kindergarten teacher. 

Their lives seem to revolve around kids, seeing them everyday and working with them as well. Jaemin loves seeing the bright and toothy smiles on their faces, and Jeno always gushes about how cute they are when they’re nervous about having their first doctor’s appointment.

Sometimes, it makes Jaemin think that they’re already too child oriented, and that there wasn’t a need for more in their personal life. He’s made a joke about that before to Jeno, who had suddenly gotten all serious, which had provoked a serious and sensitive conversation about having their own children.

Jaemin had always tried to avoid this topic whenever he could, but it does make sense that they were due to speak about it soon enough. Just because he didn’t think too indepthly about having kids didn’t mean Jeno wasn’t thinking about it. 

But that was two years ago when Jaemin said he’d have to think about it and all the options they had. Jeno had been so unbearably understanding that it made Jaemin’s heart hurt, and he hadn’t brought up kids since then, trusting Jaemin would do so on his own. 

He’s lost in his thoughts about how exactly that conversation with Jeno would play out, so unfocused that he doesn’t realize the toast is burning until Jeno comes jogging into the kitchen and popping them out of the toaster. 

“What’s on your mind, hm? Something important enough to burn our bread?” He teases, tossing the two charcoal looking pieces of bread into the garbage and popping two new ones into the toaster. This time, he stands near it in case, just to be sure. 

Jaemin doesn’t answer Jeno’s question properly at first, brushing him off with a laugh and finishing cooking the eggs on the pan in front of him. 

When he’s done plating them along with bacon and has turned off the stove though, that’s when he cautiously looks at Jeno, who’s slathering their toast in butter and jam. 

“Do you want… A baby?”

Jaemin can tell Jeno isn’t trying to let his reaction to this be known, with the way he simply slows down his motions and takes his time to think about his answer. 

He does take his time, not answering the question or turning around to face him until he’s done with their toast, has put them on their plates, and has put the butter and jam away in their places. It’s only then, that he finally leans against the counter opposite of the one Jaemin is leaning against and makes eye contact. 

“You already know I’d like to start a family,” Jeno says carefully, his words measured and precise. “But I wouldn’t want that if it were at your expense. In any way, shape, or form.” He clarifies, something he always makes sure that Jaemin knows. 

By this point, he knows very well, but he couldn’t ever be annoyed at how much Jeno cares about his feelings, to bring this up everytime. 

“I can’t have pups,” Jaemin whispers, hesitantly looking up at Jeno, just to catch the way his eyes soften. His eyes never show disappointment or annoyance, simply always showing a feeling of comfort and a warmth that he hopes Jaemin will step into. 

“I know—” Jeno starts softly, but Jaemin cuts him off. He’s heard Jeno’s assurance a hundred times over, and despite the comfort they provide, that wasn’t the point of this conversation right now. 

“But I want to,” he says through a heavy breath, gnawing his bottom lip between his teeth as the confession leaves his lips. “I want to… Have a baby of our own.”

Jaemin doesn’t know if Jeno had tried to control himself, or if he was simply too overwhelmed with what he had just heard. Either way, a grin splits onto Jeno’s face at Jaemin’s words, and he pushes off of the counter to come wrap Jaemin into a hug. 

If Jaemin wasn’t used to Jeno’s strength, he’d complain about how it feels like his bones are being crushed, but at this point he knows that simply means Jeno is beyond happy. 

“Please don’t get too excited,” Jaemin whispers quietly, hugging Jeno back as he does so. “You know the adoption process takes a very long time—” 

“Baby,” Jeno cuts off, pulling away from the hug and cups Jaemin’s cheeks as he looks at him with shock written all over his face. “You want to adopt?”

Jaemin backtracks for a second, realizing he let it slip without meaning to. He guesses Jeno would’ve had to know sooner or later though, so he simply nods his head at Jeno’s question. 

“Why not?” Jaemin shrugs, thankful for Jeno being this close, his scent does wonders. “Everyone deserves a family,” he adds through a thick voice. 

“You’re right,” Jeno agrees fondly, leaning in and pressing a lingering kiss to Jaemin’s forehead. “You’re absolutely correct, so why are you so tense?” He asks gently, eyebrows furrowing.

“Don’t get too excited,” he repeats, his own hands coming up to hold the back of Jeno’s. “I don’t know if they’ll legally accept us, I d-don’t have a family. Hyuck, Sung and I got emancipated, remember?” 

Jeno remembers, remembers very well. The months that filled the three brothers with as much anxiousness as excitement, and the freedom they felt when everything was set, signed, and done.

However, he didn’t think about what that could mean in a situation like this. He’s sure there’s not much negativity to come from it, if any, but he’s not sure. 

And he desperately doesn’t want Jaemin to worry about something like this atop of all the turmoil even  _ considering  _ adoption is putting him through.

“Don’t worry about that,” Jeno says, equally as quiet. “Everything will work out because you  _ deserve _ this, Nana. You deserve a baby.” 

“What if they don’t see me fit? What if I’m  _ not  _ fit, Jen, what then?” He worries, and Jeno can see that he’s genuinely thinking this, with the look he sees in his eyes. 

“I don’t know many people who would be  _ more  _ fit than you. You’re so smart, you’re the most loving person I know, and you’re sensible. Jaemin-ah, you will be a wonderful parent. The best, even.” 

Jaemin closes his eyes, and lets Jeno’s words sit. For once, he tries really hard to believe him, to absorb the words and to let them sit in his heart. 

Jeno is smart, he's always right. Jaemin should trust him with this as well, since he knows it’ll help him trust himself. 

Yes, he knows he’s smart, he knows his heart is rather large, and he knows sensible. Maybe if he keeps repeating these things like a mantra, he’ll see himself the way Jeno does when it comes to this topic. 

“Can we talk to a lawyer soon? I want a family with you,” Jaemin adds on a minute or so later, and in the back of his mind, he thinks about how their breakfasts are cold. 

“As soon as possible, sweetheart, I’ll find someone,” Jeno promises, leaning in again and this time gently pecking his lips. “Everything will be okay. We’ll do this together, one step at a time.”

Jaemin nods, kissing Jeno one more time. 

“One step at a time.”

  
  
  


It’s only when Jeno had found a lawyer, when they had had a few meetings with her, that Jaemin tells Donghyuck and Jisung about their plans, and when Jeno tells his mom and dad. 

It's been about two years since their conversation in the kitchen, all two consisted of baby steps, thorough explanations, and an endless amount of knowledge from their lawyer. 

She assures them, mostly Jaemin, that they’re a perfect couple candidate for adoption. They have stable incomes, their house is big enough for a new addition, and their morals are in the right place. 

She had even promised Jaemin that a lack of a family on his side wasn’t going to deter things, even if he didn’t have Donghyuck and Jisung. She said that all that mattered was that they were proper guardians, educating and guiding their child through all the steps of growing up. 

Jaemin and Jeno don't have a preference when it comes to age, gender, or secondary gender of a child. Although somewhere deep down, Jaemin feels a draw towards a newborn, he ignores it because it could just be the omega in him. And because it was rare for newborns to be put up for adoption, or left in foster care homes or orphanages. 

“Adoption runs in the family then?” Jisung jokes on a summer afternoon, when Jaemin had invited him and Donghyuck over before their appointment at the local city service office. 

“I suppose so,” Jaemin sighs, thinking about how Mark and Donghyuck are both alphas, and how Jisung is an alpha while his boyfriend, Chenle, is a beta. “I can’t believe  _ I’m _ the first one out of us three who’s probably going to have a kid.” 

There’s more to what he means with that, he’s sure Donghyuck and Jisung can pick up on it without him needing to say so. For the longest time, kids weren’t even a viable option for him. But as of lately, it seems like every door is open for him. 

“I can,” Donghyuck shrugs. “You’ve always liked children, I always thought you’d hop on the opportunity.” 

Jaemin rolls his eyes, and Donghyuck chuckles. 

“They’re going to be so spoiled,” Jaemin mutters. “Having you two, Mark, Chenle, Renjun, and Yukhei as uncles.”

“Oh, I’ll make sure of it,” Donghyuck promises smugly. “I mean, that’s what happened to Jisung, and he didn’t turn out half as bad.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean!” Jisung shrieks offendedly, and Jaemin is reminded of when this same situation had played out over the course of multiple years in the past.

Some things never change. Donghyuck and Jisung happen to be some of those things. 

Keys jingle in the door while Donghyuck and Jisung are still bickering, and Jaemin watches from the living room as Jeno shucks his shoes off and walks inside. 

“Hey,” Jeno greets Donghyuck and Jisung when he sees them, the other two casually saying hello back. Jeno looks eager when he turns to Jaemin though, and it makes Jaemin smile automatically. 

“Welcome home,” Jaemin whispers with a quirked smile, watching as Jeno’s broadens on his face. 

“How was your day?” Jeno asks after pressing a kiss to Jaemin’s cheek. He sits down next to him on the couch, throwing an arm along the back cushions. 

“Exhausting, with these two loons,” Jaemin teases, gesturing towards Jisung and Donghyuck. 

However, all Jisung does is scoff. 

“Better get used to it, having a mini you two running around will be even more exhausting,” he points out, and that phrase itself makes a smile stretch onto Jeno’s lips again. 

“Mini Jen and Jaem,” he mutters, and if Jaemin looks close enough, he could practically see the hearts in his eyes. 

“Okayyy, that’s our cue to leave,” Donghyuck draws out. “Before you start fantasizing about this even more.” 

Jaemin rolls his eyes at Donghyuck’s reasoning, but doesn’t stop them as he sees Jisung get up to follow the older. He would appreciate some alone time with Jeno now anyways. 

Jaemin and Jeno bid Donghyuck and Jisung a goodbye, but not before Jisung and Donghyuck put away their fronts and genuinely wish them the best with this whole process. And goodluck for their appointment tonight. 

When they leave, the last of their words about the appointment ring loud in Jaemin’s head. 

Jeno seems to notice the look on his face, as he always does Jaemin doesn’t know why he expects anything different from him, Jeno always seems to know. 

“Everything alright?” He asks, wrapping an arm around Jaemin’s waist and leading them upstairs. He’s desperate to change out of his work clothes at this point. 

“Yeah,” Jaemin nods mindlessly, sitting down on the bed as Jeno picks out some comfy clothes. He leaves the bathroom door open when he goes to wash up, and Jaemin takes this as an invite to keep talking. “Just thinking about… Tonight, y’know…” 

“Good thoughts or bad thoughts?” 

“Somewhere… In between I guess. It’s a good thing we’re even given this opportunity. But I’m nervous,”

“And what are you nervous for?”

“Honestly? I’m not too sure.” 

Jeno walks out of the bathroom then, taking a seat next to Jaemin on the bed. He grabs the younger’s hand in both of his own, tracing over the knuckles and veins. 

“That’s okay. You’re sure you want to do this right? Because if there’s even an inkling of doubt, we can stop everything. We can wait a few years, we can consider other options. Everything will be okay, I promise.” 

Since the day Jaemin has met Jeno, he’s always known that the other was extremely selfless. But it’s right now, that he understands just how selfless he is. 

Jeno had wanted to start a family with him more than anything, but he’s also the one who’s willing to wait even longer, just for him. 

And while he knows Jeno wouldn’t mind at all if Jaemin took him up on that offer, he’d never be able to hinder Jeno like that. 

Jeno had said that Jaemin deserved to be a parent. 

And in that case, Jeno deserved it even more. 

“No,” Jaemin shakes his head, squeezing Jeno’s hand. “I’m sure, we’re not stopping, and we’re going today. I want this as much as you do.”

Jeno’s smile blinds him. 

True to his words, it’s only three hours later when Jaemin finds himself and Jeno sitting in the waiting area of their city’s government service office. 

His leg is bouncing up and down, and although Jeno tries to have a hushed conversation with him to distract him, it isn’t working. 

There aren’t many people around them, and they have all of their signed documents and papers from their lawyer, so realistically, there isn’t anything for Jaemin to be so terribly nervous about. 

That doesn’t mean he isn’t though. 

“Did you notice all the door handles are the same? They all have the same design, in the same colour,” Jeno says, trying to distract Jaemin. The latter wishes it was working. 

Thankfully though, their number gets called to talk to a worker. 

Jeno grabs Jaemin’s hand before anything else, and then they both get up to the desk. 

“Hello,” the lady behind the desk greets nicely, to which Jeno smiles back, Jaemin does too, and he can only hope it doesn’t look like a grimace. “Can I see your files?” 

Jaemin listens very intently to every word the woman in front of them says, nodding along and asking questions when appropriate. 

“I’m happy to tell you the last step today is to fill out these data verification forms,” she smiles, sliding two identical empty forms to them both. Two pens follow. “All the scanned copies of your documents and these completed forms will be sent to all the adoption agencies, orphanages, and foster homes you’ve been approved for. Congratulations, I hope the process treats you well.” 

Jaemin is slightly less overwhelmed as he and Jeno take their forms and pens to sit down and fill out, as his leg doesn’t bounce and his hands don’t shake when he writes. 

Instead, he feels rather informed, knowledgeable and excited when he moves onto the second question. 

_ Please state your secondary gender. _

Jaemin doesn’t hesitate before filling out the blank. With a smile, he writes down,

_ Omega.  _

  
  



End file.
